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00:00 [Music]
00:19 You have a date with the angels.
00:22 Starring Betty White.
00:25 Bill Williams as Gus Angel.
00:28 Presented by the Plymouth Dealers of America,
00:32 who proudly sell and service the beautiful new Plymouth for $19.57.
00:42 The time, about six months after Vicki and Gus Angel were married.
00:46 The plot, even the crystal ball gets balled up.
00:50 The main character, a dog with a green face.
00:55 [Music]
01:08 Hey, Benny, you seen my dog, Murk?
01:10 No, I haven't, Sam.
01:11 Gosh.
01:14 Hey, Frank, any news of the dog?
01:16 No, we all been looking for him, too.
01:18 Gosh, I gotta find him pretty soon. He's missed three performances already.
01:24 Still looking for Murk, Sam?
01:26 Yeah, we'll keep looking for him.
01:27 Oh, thanks a lot.
01:28 Oh, I beg your pardon, sir.
01:30 Sorry, sir.
01:31 Sorry, my fault.
01:32 It's all right.
01:33 Hey, Smitty, you seen the dog?
01:35 Hey, Sam.
01:36 Huh? Oh, Charlie, you got news of Murk?
01:38 Nah, I wouldn't be surprised to find out somebody swept him.
01:41 Well, I've been thinking about the same thing.
01:42 I know how you must feel, Sam.
01:44 After treading that dog all these years.
01:47 Well, one thing's for sure, I haven't got an act without him, I'll tell you that.
01:51 You're a good chen up, boy.
01:52 Yeah.
01:53 Oh, Johnny, you haven't seen the dog, have you?
01:57 Any sign of Murk, Sam?
01:58 No, not yet.
01:59 Too bad.
02:00 Any luck, honey?
02:01 No, he's still missing, Hazel.
02:02 Well, stop worrying, sweetie. Murk's been missing before.
02:05 Yeah, but never for this long.
02:06 I tell you, Hazel, that dog's had something on his mind for the past couple of weeks.
02:10 You talk like that dog was human.
02:13 Well, he darn near is.
02:14 You know how he worries all the time.
02:16 I was just talking to Charlie over there.
02:17 He thinks the dog's probably been swiped.
02:19 Hurry, hurry, hurry, ring the bell at the top of the tower.
02:22 Frank, Harper, Dick and Apollo, right now.
02:24 Here's the place, here, hold that boy a minute.
02:26 Yes, sir.
02:27 Here's the place.
02:28 This husky gentleman right here missed his first try, but he has two more chances.
02:33 Shall I try him?
02:34 You mean, can you?
02:35 Honey, remember, I've seen you hammer your thumb right into the wall.
02:38 Oh, are you kidding?
02:40 Watch me get you one of those.
02:42 I'm married, but I bet there's a lot of other good prizes here.
02:45 All right, now, the husky gentleman will try to ring the bell at the top of the tower.
02:49 Yes, sir, right up there now.
02:51 See what he can do.
02:52 See if he can lift the melon.
02:53 Well, he lifted the melon.
02:55 All right, now he'll pretend that this is his mother-in-law.
02:58 Hey.
02:59 Hey!
03:01 Hey, pity that poor mother-in-law.
03:04 Now, I tell you, the lady can have the choice of any of these hand-painted imported dogs,
03:08 a cubie dog, or if the gentleman decides to try again, two bells out of three,
03:12 he gets the lady a nice jar of sweet melon deluxe.
03:15 Oh, bath salts, or two pints of gum.
03:17 I'll take the dog.
03:18 Yeah, on the bottom shelf, lady, the smaller down there.
03:23 They're a little smaller, but they're a better material.
03:26 They're made out of genuine chalk.
03:30 I like a dog with a green face, don't you?
03:32 Would you like the bath salts?
03:34 I can ring that bell all night.
03:36 You know, I bet that mallet weighs 40 pounds.
03:39 You know, if you think he doesn't get many like you, you'd have him out of business in no time.
03:42 All done with muscle tone right here.
03:44 Now, there's the gentleman.
03:46 See what he said?
03:47 Muscle tone.
03:48 That's what it takes to fish it.
03:56 Any condition.
03:58 That's all right, honey.
03:59 You go right on working off.
04:01 See, that thing has a green face.
04:03 Well, he's been fed.
04:04 I'll get you another one.
04:05 Oh, you will not.
04:06 I wouldn't trade him for a million dollars.
04:08 Honey, I don't know when I've had more fun.
04:10 Ah, me too.
04:11 How about another hot dog?
04:12 I'd love it.
04:13 I'll be right back.
04:14 Here you are.
04:15 Everybody wins and nobody loses here.
04:17 Win yourself a giant tender doll, eh?
04:20 Here you are.
04:22 Here you are for a quarter here.
04:23 Here you are, step right up.
04:25 Everybody wins and nobody loses here.
04:27 Ah, pardon me.
04:28 Where's my dog?
04:29 Ah, the little lady wants the dog.
04:32 Knock the bottles off the shelf and get a genuine imported.
04:35 Ready, honey?
04:36 No, honey, I left the dog here on the counter with a green face.
04:39 How un-inconceived of yourself, lady.
04:41 I got no dogs with green faces.
04:43 Oh, the reason I got put away is because I'm satanic.
04:48 [laughter]
04:50 Thanks a million.
04:51 I wouldn't want to lose him.
04:52 My husband just won him for me.
04:54 Oh, well, he, uh, boy, maybe you can win her a whole list.
04:56 Oh, maybe later.
04:57 What'll we do now, sweetheart?
04:59 Darling, we've been spending an awful lot of money.
05:02 If you add up all the games where we didn't win,
05:04 this dog costs us $9.
05:06 Who cares?
05:07 We haven't done anything crazy like this since we were dating.
05:09 What'll we do?
05:10 Just testing.
05:12 How-- how about Madame or whatever it is?
05:15 Let's do it.
05:16 All right.
05:17 All right, now, righty here, now.
05:19 Win a nice price for your girlfriend.
05:20 Show your muscles on and your head.
05:22 Here you are.
05:23 Oh, we don't give cheap prices like that here, madam.
05:25 No, we don't.
05:26 [laughter]
05:27 Here's your chance.
05:29 Come on, honey, Madame Le Capricorn's
05:31 probably expecting you.
05:32 Yeah, gotta be prepared.
05:33 They always like you to cross their palms with silver.
05:36 [music playing]
05:40 A hard zodiacal--
05:42 [laughter]
05:44 A hard zodiacal or the crystal.
05:48 That.
05:49 Uh, very good.
05:51 Uh, would you, uh, please be seated and enter into the silence.
05:58 [laughter]
06:02 You will cross my palm, please.
06:06 Oh, with paper.
06:07 [laughter]
06:14 Thank you.
06:15 I will now gaze into the crystal ball,
06:18 the crystal ball that sees the past, present, and the future.
06:24 You will place your left hand upon the table, please.
06:28 You're married.
06:29 [laughter]
06:32 I-- I feel a hostile vibration.
06:38 You will place your forehand across the table, please.
06:44 And gaze into the crystal.
06:47 Ah, I see envy.
06:49 The green of envy is everywhere.
06:52 The green--
06:53 [laughter]
06:58 [laughter]
07:04 I gaze into the crystal.
07:07 Uh-huh.
07:09 I see a man's name.
07:11 It starts with the letter-- uh, the letter-- a G.
07:16 Uh, Gordon?
07:18 No.
07:19 The letter G is very strong.
07:22 Glenn?
07:23 No.
07:24 Gavotte?
07:25 [laughter]
07:27 Greeley?
07:28 Goose?
07:30 How'd you know?
07:31 Goose?
07:32 [laughter]
07:34 Uh, Gus, uh, do you see Vicki in there?
07:37 I see a wedding not too long ago.
07:40 One, two, three, four, five.
07:44 Five, that's right.
07:45 I see a wedding five years ago.
07:48 Five months.
07:49 My dear, in the cosmic year, the cosmic year is to the month,
07:55 but the day is to the hour.
07:57 [laughter]
07:59 Uh, what about our future?
08:01 I gaze into the crystal.
08:04 Ah, I see a great meeting of friends over water.
08:08 You who are lovers will meet others who are lovers.
08:13 The precious is lost.
08:14 The lovers protest.
08:16 And life swirls about.
08:19 [laughter]
08:21 And the precious is found.
08:23 What does that mean?
08:25 What does that mean?
08:27 Well, you see, the cosmos is a pattern of nebulizing transition.
08:31 Hey, Hazel, I got--
08:32 Pardon me, madam.
08:33 I got to see you.
08:35 The picture is fading.
08:37 Fading.
08:39 All right, folks, that's all.
08:40 Our light's going out.
08:41 [laughter]
08:44 Tell her we had a very nice time.
08:46 Oh, yeah, I will.
08:47 Goodbye.
08:49 Hey, Hazel, snap out of it.
08:50 Who are them two?
08:51 Well, her name is Vicki, and he's Goose.
08:53 Goose?
08:54 [laughter]
08:55 Goose, Guff, whatever it is, I guessed it.
08:57 Oh, well, very good.
08:58 Well, I've bumped into that pair before somewhere.
09:00 Is she from Long Beach?
09:01 Honey, this is a crystal ball, not a road map.
09:04 [laughter]
09:05 What were you so excited about when you came in?
09:07 Oh, I got Hogan in on the case.
09:09 Hmm, Hogan.
09:10 Good, good.
09:11 I'd met smarter cops, but at least he knows what's going on up and down the boardwalk.
09:15 Well, look, Hazel, somebody's got to find that dog, or we don't get married.
09:18 After all, he's my meal ticket.
09:20 You know, Sam, I'm just sure Murph's going to be all right.
09:24 Well, how do you know?
09:25 I went to a fortune teller.
09:27 [laughter]
09:30 [music playing]
09:48 [laughter]
09:50 I really get a kick out of you, Vicki.
09:52 You really believe in that fortune teller, Milwaukee?
09:55 I do not.
09:57 [laughter]
10:00 What's so funny?
10:02 Goose Angel.
10:04 [laughter]
10:08 She figured that out from the GMI tie clip.
10:11 And anybody can tell we're married.
10:13 Look at our rings.
10:14 And then they always tell you you're going to meet somebody over water.
10:18 Well, we're sitting on the pier, so that takes care of the water.
10:21 [laughter]
10:24 Glad to meet you, Mrs. Angel.
10:27 Now you've met somebody over water.
10:29 [laughter]
10:32 Just the same.
10:33 How about the time the fortune teller told Dolly that she was going to take a trip,
10:36 and the very next week she went to Burbank?
10:38 Some trip.
10:39 [laughter]
10:40 Some trip.
10:41 Burbank is 11 miles away from their house.
10:44 How come I missed 10 times in a row when I got nigh like an eagle?
10:48 Why don't you let the eagle throw the dice?
10:50 [laughter]
10:51 That sounds like Murf's voice.
10:53 It is.
10:54 Murf!
10:55 Murf!
10:56 Hey, somebody yell Murf.
10:57 I don't know.
10:58 It sounded like a woman's voice.
10:59 I know how it is.
11:00 You got a fan back there blowing them stupid balloons around.
11:03 Yeah.
11:04 I will pay you five bucks for every fan you find.
11:07 Well, then how come the balloons jump to one side when I throw the dice?
11:11 It's the breeze from your big mouth.
11:14 [laughter]
11:16 Gee, look who's here.
11:18 Oh, hi.
11:19 Hi, Murf.
11:20 How are you?
11:21 Well, isn't this something?
11:22 We live two doors apart, and we have to come down to the beach to see each other.
11:25 Yes, I know about that.
11:26 Isn't that the end?
11:27 Are you having fun?
11:28 Oh, I don't know when we've had such a good time.
11:30 And the fortune teller told us we were going to run into friends over water,
11:33 and here you are.
11:34 And look what Gus lent for me.
11:36 Looks delicious.
11:37 [laughter]
11:39 It's a since you didn't want it from this crook.
11:42 Hey, why don't you go down to Long Beach and bother the boys down there?
11:46 Why do you have to come here every Saturday?
11:48 Just tell me one thing.
11:49 Where do you buy them concrete balloons?
11:52 [laughter]
11:53 Some place you got your head.
11:55 [laughter]
11:57 Look, Buster, he's trying to be a gentleman.
11:59 Oh, I didn't know he did imitations.
12:01 [laughter]
12:05 You got an answer for that one, lover?
12:07 No.
12:09 It's just sore because I know all the little tricks.
12:12 Yes, Sal, yes, anybody's weight.
12:14 If I fail to get your weight within three pounds, you win a genuine imported doll.
12:19 Watch this.
12:20 I've been driving this guy wacky for months.
12:22 Anybody, yes, anybody at all, step right up.
12:26 [music]
12:28 Oh, it's you again.
12:29 [laughter]
12:33 Almost anybody at all, step right up.
12:36 Oh, no, you don't.
12:37 Here, guess my weight.
12:40 Okay, the same as last week, 200 pounds.
12:43 [music]
12:51 All right, so this week you weigh 205.
12:54 [laughter]
12:56 Look, I don't know how you do it, and I don't care how you do it,
13:00 but do me a favor, will you?
13:01 Go stand up on a roller coaster.
13:03 [laughter]
13:05 Oh, don't be such a sore hand.
13:07 Why don't you try going straight?
13:09 [laughter]
13:11 He's a swell guy.
13:13 [laughter]
13:15 Hey, what's that, Murph?
13:18 Five pounds of lead.
13:19 [laughter]
13:20 But that's cheating.
13:22 What's cheating about it?
13:23 I never pay him, he never gets his right, and I never take the doll.
13:27 [laughter]
13:29 I just enjoy frustrating him.
13:31 [laughter]
13:34 Remember the time I suddenly weighed 300 pounds, lover?
13:38 [laughter]
13:39 Murph borrowed a pair of those iron shoes deep sea divers wear.
13:43 [laughter]
13:44 Snapped my ankles a couple of times, but it was worth it.
13:47 [laughter]
13:49 Anybody want a hot dog?
13:50 I'd love one.
13:51 How about you, Vicki?
13:53 I'd love one.
13:54 I don't know what's the matter with me, I can't seem to get enough to eat.
13:57 Nothing for me, Cassie.
13:58 Oh, thanks, Gus.
13:59 Oh, gee, you didn't have to do the treating, Gus.
14:01 Why not?
14:02 Oh.
14:03 Sam's got Oaken the cop looking for Murph now.
14:05 Well, it takes an eye to catch an eye.
14:07 [laughter]
14:08 Uh-oh, look who's here, I'll show you.
14:10 Oh, no.
14:12 [laughter]
14:14 Look, have you ever considered going to a dance Saturday night?
14:17 [laughter]
14:19 I get all the runaround I need right here.
14:22 [laughter]
14:23 Now, you do the throwing this time, Vicki.
14:25 Oh, no, I throw puns.
14:27 All girls throw puns.
14:29 It's because they're put together kind of weird.
14:32 [laughter]
14:33 Now, he's right.
14:35 [laughter]
14:36 Hey, I'll have three balls for a quarter,
14:39 and if the little lady can't throw that far,
14:41 I'll move the milk bottles forward so she can.
14:44 Okay, wise guy, this one's lopsided.
14:47 It feels lopsided because you've got bumpy knuckles.
14:50 [laughter]
14:52 [music]
14:56 [laughter]
14:59 Why don't you bring the rest of the Bloomer Girls team down here?
15:02 [laughter]
15:08 That was great, Vicki.
15:10 Vicki?
15:11 I thought so, Vicki Mantle.
15:14 [laughter]
15:17 I told you I'd do funny.
15:19 She wants one of them big bears.
15:22 Quiet up.
15:23 What kind--
15:24 Hey, I said she wants one of them big bears.
15:27 Oh, one of the big bears.
15:29 She gets a free game.
15:30 I know the rules.
15:31 Give her a bear.
15:33 The management changed the rules.
15:35 Since when?
15:36 Since now.
15:37 And who's the management?
15:39 Me.
15:40 Quiet, or you'll break the glass.
15:41 Mark, Mark, that's all.
15:42 My arm was getting tired anyway.
15:44 That was beautiful.
15:45 You ain't built as weird as I thought.
15:48 [laughter]
15:50 What kind are you working for, lady?
15:52 Yeah, Long Beach, maybe.
15:54 Wait a minute.
15:55 What are you guys trying to build?
15:57 She throws that way because she was a tomboy.
16:00 [laughter]
16:02 I'm not that good.
16:04 Hey, Sam.
16:05 Yeah?
16:06 I came up with an angle I bet you didn't think of.
16:08 What's that?
16:09 Your dog, Murph, may be parking in a parking lot over there in some car.
16:12 That's right.
16:13 I tell you, take a look.
16:14 I got something I'm working on over here.
16:15 Right.
16:16 [chatter]
16:30 Lose something?
16:31 I must have dropped my bracelet.
16:33 What kind was it?
16:34 Oh, it was just a cheap costume jewelry bracelet with a--
16:37 why, not the one you gave me, sweetheart.
16:40 Oh, the one I gave her cost $2.98.
16:43 So if it's cheaper than that, don't even bother looking for it.
16:46 Somebody's frightened.
16:48 Where's that cop that's always around here?
16:51 Oh, Murph, please don't bother.
16:53 No.
16:54 I know where it is.
16:56 Hey, I stepped right up.
16:58 Oh, hey, buster.
16:59 Come on up with a bracelet and no questions asked.
17:02 What bracelet?
17:03 My wife thinks she lost her bracelet around here somewhere.
17:06 Oh, is this your wife?
17:08 I thought you was married to Speedball Annie there.
17:12 Let's not get nasty, buster.
17:14 Yeah, let's not get--
17:16 wait a minute.
17:17 [laughter]
17:20 What's so nasty about being married to me?
17:23 I should answer that lady.
17:25 Oh, Gus didn't mean it that way, Cassie.
17:27 And he didn't mean what she said, mister.
17:30 And I'm sure you didn't mean what you said.
17:32 And nobody meant what anybody said.
17:34 And let's go.
17:37 Phony milkman.
17:39 I don't care enough about the bracelet
17:41 to make this much of a scene.
17:42 Now, let's see.
17:43 When you met me and Murph, we was--
17:46 let's go.
17:47 Stop him, Gus.
17:48 Oh, I can't stop him from here, honey.
17:50 Oh.
17:51 Now, what good would it be for me to look back there?
17:53 If she lost anything, it would be out here where she was standing.
17:56 Because I don't think she lost it, buster.
17:58 Any guy that'd hang up cement balloons
18:00 ain't above stealing a bracelet.
18:03 Cassie, if he stole it, he can have it.
18:06 Oh, thank you, lady.
18:07 Very kind of you.
18:09 I appreciate that.
18:10 All right, let's go stand in store for gravel.
18:12 Come on.
18:13 Hey, come back here.
18:14 We ain't through fighting yet.
18:16 Cassie, let's go sit down someplace.
18:18 I don't want to make all this fuss over something
18:19 that's worth so little.
18:20 Oh, I know how you are.
18:21 I feel the same way about it myself.
18:25 Chicken.
18:28 I hate to make a scene.
18:33 What's the matter?
18:34 You run out of suspects?
18:38 How'd you like a fat lip?
18:41 Ah.
18:47 Say, I wonder why Murf is taking so long to find that cop.
18:51 Oh, well, we certainly don't need him now.
18:53 If there's anything I need, it's to accuse somebody
18:55 of taking something that's not his.
18:58 Where's the dog, sweetheart?
19:00 I don't know.
19:03 You seen the dog, Cassie?
19:04 Uh-uh.
19:05 Oh, but I got 20 of them.
19:06 Vicki can have her pick when Murf gets back in the sack.
19:10 Say, Cassie, do you and Murf come down here every Saturday?
19:13 Mm-hmm.
19:14 We missed a couple of years when Murf got drafted.
19:17 Hey, I was step-bride after three for a quarter.
19:19 Knocked the bottles off the shelf and--
19:21 Pardon me.
19:22 I'd like my dog, please.
19:24 Look, lady, I'd get him for $0.07.
19:27 I don't have to steal it.
19:29 I didn't say you stole it.
19:31 You might have tidied it out of sight like you did before.
19:34 I didn't.
19:36 OK, lady, take your pick.
19:38 I don't want just any dog.
19:40 I want the dog my husband with the green face won for me.
19:45 I offer her anything on this show, she won't take it.
19:48 Honey, take the dog and let's go.
19:50 Gus, I want the dog you won for me
19:52 because it's a nice memory.
19:54 Honey, don't make a scene.
19:58 She gets kind of nervous.
20:00 The man's being very nice about it, sweetheart.
20:02 Being very nice about it?
20:03 He finds things before they're lost.
20:05 Oh, we've been rookin' this guy for years, Vicki.
20:07 I don't think he'd do anything like this.
20:09 Well, it just seems a little funny to me that--
20:13 $0.07.
20:16 Vicki, you can have a bag full of dogs as soon as we find Murf.
20:20 Murf!
20:21 Have you seen Murf?
20:22 There he is.
20:23 Murf!
20:24 Oh.
20:25 The, uh--
20:26 Where's Murf?
20:27 Well, the last we saw of him, he was chasing the cop down the boardwalk.
20:30 Murphy!
20:31 Yeah!
20:32 Murf's following the cop down the boardwalk.
20:33 Hey, hold it!
20:34 Hey, come on!
20:35 Get him!
20:36 Sam!
20:37 Hazel!
20:38 Gee, wait a minute.
20:39 What's all this about Murf?
20:40 He ducked under a pile of lumber near the alley.
20:42 Murf?
20:43 Oh, so he got away from you, huh?
20:45 Hey, now he's under the pier.
20:47 Who's under the pier?
20:48 Murf!
20:50 He can't swim.
20:52 And he's got five piles of lead in his pants.
20:55 [laughter]
20:58 [music playing]
21:01 You know, I thought that dog would show up by now.
21:06 He's been gone since early morning.
21:08 Won't I do?
21:09 My name's Murf, too.
21:11 [laughter]
21:13 Oh, hi, Murf.
21:15 That is not a sign of him.
21:17 Where'd you come from?
21:19 [laughter]
21:20 Well, not from under the pier.
21:22 I'm looking for a dog named Murf, and no cracks.
21:26 Oh, lover, it's you!
21:29 Oh!
21:30 Speak to me!
21:32 Murf?
21:33 [laughter]
21:35 [bell ringing]
21:36 Honey, they found Murf.
21:37 Oh, that's wonderful.
21:38 Look what I found.
21:40 Oh, here, baby.
21:41 Here, baby.
21:42 Come on.
21:43 Come on.
21:44 Oh, my heart.
21:45 Oh!
21:46 Hey!
21:47 This is Murf!
21:49 Look at this!
21:50 It's Murf!
21:51 [laughter]
21:53 Hey, where did your buddy live?
21:56 He's right back at the scale over there.
21:58 And he's got a wife and three more children.
22:01 [laughter]
22:02 Well, Sam, you're going to pass out the cigars.
22:05 Murf is a papa.
22:06 Oh, sure.
22:07 What else?
22:08 Hey, I want one of the puppies.
22:09 [laughter]
22:11 [chatter]
22:13 [laughter]
22:16 I already have my puppy.
22:19 Have a night?
22:21 [chatter]
22:22 Oh, honey, we can't keep a dog in a--
22:24 Oh, sweetheart, please let me see them, please.
22:26 Oh, baby, what are we going to--
22:28 [whimpering]
22:29 Why not?
22:30 [laughter]
22:31 [music playing]
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24:35 [music playing]
24:38 [laughter]
24:58 [music playing]
25:01 [music playing]
25:04 [music playing]
25:18 [singing]
25:23 [singing]
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25:32 [singing]
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25:51 [singing]
25:54 Ladies and gentlemen, your Plymouth dealer invites you to watch the Lawrence Welk program,
25:59 "Top Tunes and You Tell It," on this same network.
26:02 And the dramatic show, "Climax," every week on another network.
26:06 Tom Kennedy speaking. Good night, everybody.
26:09 [applause]
26:12 (applause)