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ADVENTURES OF THE NAKED UMBRELLA Trailer - official movie trailer HD
Transcript
00:00 Eyes on the fire, Sam.
00:02 Cooooooool in all Earthlings!
00:08 Calling all commies and vegans and tea baggers, we...
00:12 That's not very Christmassy!
00:14 Now listen up, folks. We've all known that aliens are real...
00:17 Hey, I brought you some...
00:18 That's right, since the Roswell crash in 1947, right?
00:21 Who is this?
00:22 One of my parolees.
00:23 Since that time, designer viruses are calling in the week while endless quarantines are stripping all innocent survivors...
00:29 What's he in for?
00:31 Since the pandemic began, conspiracy theorists have targeted 5G cell towers.
00:36 Well, hello there, 5G!
00:38 He's got a good heart.
00:39 Good heart don't fix a bad race.
00:41 You damn spooks! You think you can take me out that easy?
00:45 We need to get ourselves gone.
00:51 Why?
00:52 For starters, baby, the house is on fire and I'm a pyromaniac thrice convicted.
00:56 You are a convicted arsonist.
00:58 Pyromania is not a crime.
01:00 I say we better get to Granny's.
01:01 Granny's?
01:02 You don't remember what you tried to offer me with the rocket launcher?
01:06 Yeah, that's why she sold it.
01:08 What have you done?
01:10 Your client is in violation of his parole. He is a fugitive.
01:14 Who in the heck are you yelling at?
01:20 Granny member Irene?
01:21 Are you off your meds again?
01:25 I've been paid.
01:27 What is that thing? It's following us, I'm telling you!
01:30 Eyes on the fire, Sam.
01:31 Eyes on my fire, Sammy boy.
01:33 How do you know them words?
01:35 I know everything about you, Bill.
01:37 Take this.
01:38 You're just soaking them hogs.
01:40 God, Jerry, what the hell are you doing?
01:43 What needs to be done.
01:44 You're hurting me!
01:45 This guy is a convicted arsonist and all of a sudden his oven just happens to explode?
01:51 I did not burn down my own house.
01:53 Sam, have you taken your meds today?
01:55 They got blown off.
01:57 Sammy, what did you do?
02:04 Granny!
02:05 You are a nightmare.
02:07 You're like my finest fire, baby.
02:09 Granny!
02:11 Might as well let Jesus take the wheel.
02:16 It's not rocket Scientology.
02:21 Oh, don't be such a victim.
02:24 You might want to sweep the house for innocence before you burn it to the ground.
02:27 Sam!
02:30 You cannot run, okay? They will shoot you.
02:32 What's with you guys in the butt stuff? Simple question.
02:39 You have issues.
02:42 What are you staring at, birdbrain?
02:47 - I'm gonna go to bed.
02:48 [BLANK_AUDIO]