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00:00 How many of you would agree that parenting
00:05 has always been difficult?
00:07 Raise your hands right now.
00:08 Raise 'em up, raise 'em up, raise 'em up.
00:10 Don't point at your own child, but raise 'em up in the air.
00:13 Online, you can type in the comment section,
00:15 parenting has always been difficult.
00:18 Let me ask you another question.
00:20 How many of you would agree that parenting today
00:25 may be more difficult than it ever has been?
00:28 If you agree, raise two hands to surrender.
00:31 I need help, God.
00:32 You can type it in the comment section.
00:34 Parenting is very, very difficult today.
00:38 We have six children, and we raised our kids
00:42 kinda back in the good old days.
00:45 Literally a couple of decades ago,
00:47 when our kids were little,
00:48 I think it was easier to raise kids back then.
00:51 We home educated our kids, and so they were pretty sheltered.
00:55 The biggest controversy we had two decades ago
00:58 when our kids were little, maybe six and four,
01:01 my two oldest daughters, my oldest daughter
01:04 came running in the room and said, "Sissy said a bad word."
01:07 She was tattling on her sister for saying a bad word.
01:10 I said, "What did your sister say?"
01:13 And she said, "I'm not gonna tell you
01:14 "what the bad word was, it's too bad.
01:16 "You can't make me say it."
01:17 Said, "Just tell me what did the bad word,
01:21 "what letter did it start with?"
01:23 She said, "Sissy said BS."
01:27 I said, "Wow, four years old?
01:29 "Where'd she learn that?"
01:31 And then I thought, I better go ahead and make sure
01:33 that BS means what I think it means.
01:36 And so I said, "Why don't you go ahead and just tell me
01:38 "what bad word is the BS word?"
01:41 She said, "I'll never say it out loud."
01:43 I said, "Just whisper it in my ear,
01:44 "you won't get in trouble, I promise."
01:46 And so my oldest daughter whispered and said,
01:48 "She said Britney Spears."
01:51 (audience laughing)
01:54 True story.
01:57 Like I said, we parented back in the good old days
02:01 when things were much simpler than they are today.
02:04 We do have six grown children, four of them are married.
02:08 And by the grace of God, to the glory of God,
02:10 all six of them and their spouses are serving Jesus faithfully
02:15 in his church, worshiping God and living for Jesus.
02:20 In fact, every year we do what I call a legacy trip.
02:23 We bring them all, including the grandkids now, on a trip.
02:26 This was our trip a week ago.
02:28 It was amazing, it was perfect in every way.
02:31 We had spiritual time, devotional time,
02:33 we had worship time, it was all centered around Jesus.
02:35 It was perfect because we are the perfect Christian family.
02:40 (audience laughing)
02:41 Except we're not.
02:43 It was pretty amazing, and I actually was feeling
02:46 rather proud of our parenting,
02:48 until I realized that all week long
02:50 there were silos behind the scenes,
02:52 and there was kind of guerrilla warfare
02:54 going between these two and these three and these two,
02:57 and on the last night, a fight broke out
03:00 that was so horrible.
03:03 There were tears and there was crying,
03:06 and on and on and on and on and on.
03:08 And I went from thinking,
03:09 we're a pretty good Christian family,
03:11 to wondering if any of us are really saved at all.
03:14 (audience laughing)
03:16 Parenting's always been difficult,
03:19 and I would argue that perhaps it's more difficult
03:22 to be a child or a teenager today,
03:25 and it's more difficult to parent today
03:27 with the mental health issues
03:29 that are impacting our children at an alarming rate.
03:32 We've got nine-year-olds and 11-year-olds
03:35 that are overwhelmed with anxiety,
03:37 and battling depression, and victims of bullying,
03:42 and we've got them facing all sorts of issues
03:45 years and years earlier today,
03:48 at a ridiculously young age,
03:50 we give our children one of these devices,
03:53 their own little cell phone,
03:55 access to everything that they've never wanted to see,
03:59 and say, here you go, you're nine years old,
04:01 take this and have fun.
04:02 Essentially, we are giving them porn in their pocket, right?
04:08 We are hurling them into the world of TikTok and Snapchat,
04:13 where they can learn all about gender confusion
04:15 and sexual perversion and ungodly influences on and on,
04:19 and even away from those things,
04:22 they have unlimited access to so much information
04:27 that it stresses them almost beyond recovery.
04:29 When I was a kid, I watched a documentary on killer bees,
04:33 just a documentary on killer bees.
04:34 Like, I've never seen a killer bee,
04:35 but I was afraid to go outside.
04:37 I didn't have the emotional intelligence to decipher
04:39 that they weren't in my backyard.
04:41 And now we've got little kids
04:43 that watch the horror of the war in the Middle East
04:46 in real time on social media.
04:48 And because as Christ-centered parents,
04:55 we want our children to know God and to love Him,
04:59 we're starting a message series today.
05:00 I'm calling it Parenting on Purpose,
05:02 and the title of today's message
05:04 is How to Help Your Children Love God.
05:07 So Father, we pray,
05:09 and we ask for the power of your Holy Spirit
05:11 and the truth of your Word to empower us,
05:14 not just as parents, but as a church,
05:17 to disciple and nurture our children toward you.
05:21 Draw us close to you first,
05:24 and God, help us to show your love and share your love
05:28 with all those around us.
05:29 We pray in Jesus' name, and everybody said.
05:31 Amen. Amen.
05:33 What we're gonna do today is we're gonna start,
05:36 and I'm gonna read to you what's known as the Shema,
05:39 which is found in Deuteronomy 6.
05:41 We're gonna look at it this week.
05:43 We're gonna look at it in more detail next week.
05:46 The Shema is considered the most recited,
05:50 most essential prayer in Judaism
05:53 that was traditionally prayed in the Old Testament
05:55 by a Jewish person with their hands over their eyes.
05:58 They pray it in the morning and in the evening,
06:00 and it goes like this, from Deuteronomy 6.
06:03 Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one.
06:09 Love the Lord your God with all your heart
06:13 and with all your soul and with all your strength.
06:16 These commandments that I give to you today
06:19 are to be on your hearts.
06:21 Now, how do we disciple our children?
06:24 Well, we are to impress these truths on your children.
06:29 Talk about them when you sit at home
06:32 and when you walk along the road,
06:34 when you lie down and when you get up.
06:37 Tie them as symbols on your hands
06:41 and bind them on your foreheads.
06:43 Write them on the doorframes of your houses
06:46 and on your gates.
06:48 In other words, as parents,
06:50 if we're going to parent on purpose,
06:53 I would suggest to you that we won't be
06:56 just what culture calls a Christian parent,
07:00 because many people today would call themselves Christians.
07:05 Just because you call yourself a Christian today
07:07 doesn't mean that you're truly following Jesus.
07:10 I wouldn't just put an adjective on it and say,
07:13 I'm just a Christian parent 'cause obviously,
07:15 you know, I was born in the United States,
07:16 I'm not a Muslim and I'm not Hindu.
07:17 So I guess I'm kind of a Christian parent.
07:20 What I would say, instead of being just a Christian parent,
07:23 I want us to think of ourselves as Christ-centered families,
07:27 Christ-centered in our parenting.
07:30 You say, what's the difference?
07:32 There's a lot of people that I would call
07:33 like casual Christians or kind of like cultural Christians.
07:38 You know, if things get bad, we might say a prayer,
07:41 we might say a prayer over Thanksgiving.
07:43 We'll go to church on Christmas and Easter,
07:46 and maybe if there's a family fall fest,
07:49 free candy, we might be there then.
07:51 Yeah, and so we're kind of a Christian family.
07:54 There's a difference though, if you're Christ-centered.
07:58 When you're Christ-centered, loving God
08:01 with all your heart, mind, soul, and strength,
08:04 this is your highest calling.
08:07 And it's incredibly important, indescribably important,
08:10 because as parents, especially in the early years
08:14 of raising our kids, no one has greater influence
08:18 on your children in the early years than you do.
08:22 So what we want is we want God's truth on our hearts.
08:27 And then we want to impress those spiritual truths
08:31 on our children.
08:32 How do we do it?
08:32 Just kind of like the text said,
08:33 we're gonna talk about these things over breakfast.
08:38 And we're gonna talk about them on the drive to school.
08:41 And we're gonna talk about them at the dinner table,
08:43 and we're gonna talk about them before we go to bed.
08:46 When we are a Christ-centered family,
08:50 God is not a part of our lives.
08:53 He's not an add-on to our lives.
08:56 He's not an optional feature
08:57 or someone that we call whenever we're in trouble.
09:00 God is our life, and that's a big difference
09:05 than being a cultural Christian.
09:07 (audience applauding)
09:10 So what's gone wrong?
09:11 I mean, you look at teenagers all over,
09:16 and they're hurting, they're afraid,
09:19 they're desperate, they're depressed, they're suicidal,
09:22 they're cutting, they're confused about who they are.
09:27 What are we doing wrong?
09:28 Well, probably a lot of things.
09:31 We're gonna keep it simple this week
09:32 and then add on to it next week.
09:34 But I'm gonna show you three things
09:36 that I think we're doing wrong,
09:37 and then a couple of things I think we can do better.
09:40 What are we doing wrong?
09:41 A few things.
09:42 Number one is we risk too little.
09:46 Number two, we rescue too quickly.
09:49 And number three, we model too weakly.
09:54 Let's break these down one by one.
09:56 Number one, we risk too little.
09:59 I think you would probably agree
10:00 that for many families today,
10:03 risk adversity and pain avoidance
10:07 would be top values in parenting.
10:10 We don't want our children to hurt,
10:12 we don't want them to have a difficult time,
10:14 so we're gonna keep them as safe as possible.
10:17 Now, I want you to hear my heart
10:19 when I tell you I do not wanna sound like the guy
10:22 who says we walked uphill barefoot in the snow both ways.
10:27 But the truth of the matter is we did.
10:29 (audience laughing)
10:29 We did, I mean, I'm kinda not joking.
10:32 When I was a kid, and some of you are my age,
10:34 you remember on Saturday, what would your parents do?
10:36 They would kick you out of the house early,
10:39 and they would say, "Come home when it's dark."
10:41 That was it.
10:42 How'd you eat?
10:43 I don't know, you had to find somewhere to eat,
10:44 something, anything.
10:46 When you were thirsty, what did you do to get a drink?
10:49 Some of you remember, you would go
10:51 to your neighbor's water hose
10:52 and you'd just get something to drink.
10:55 Some people wouldn't even be allowed to do that.
10:56 You're gonna die, you gotta have bottled water.
10:59 We thought bottled water was a hoax.
11:02 I'm still not sure why we pay for it.
11:05 Just get a hose, right?
11:06 That's how we were raised.
11:08 Just be home by dark.
11:09 There were rules, like don't die.
11:12 Don't kill anybody.
11:15 Those were kind of the rules.
11:17 Not that our parents didn't love us, they really did,
11:20 but their top values weren't risk avoidance
11:24 and pain avoidance.
11:25 They would let us literally walk to school
11:29 by yourself.
11:33 That's crazy.
11:37 That you would take a whole sixth grade baseball team,
11:43 all of them, put them in the back of Bubba's pickup truck
11:48 and drive down the highway at 75 miles an hour.
11:51 No one thought anything of it, that's just what we did.
11:53 There were no seat belts at the time.
11:55 And I'm not telling you this is good,
11:56 I'm just telling you the way it was.
11:57 There were no seat belts.
11:59 You'd sit in the front seat with your mom,
12:01 you didn't wear a seat belt, she didn't wear a seat belt
12:03 because you didn't need a seat belt.
12:05 Why?
12:06 'Cause your mama was your seat belt.
12:08 If she had to stop real fast, mama would, boom!
12:13 And you weren't going nowhere
12:16 'cause no seat belt loves you like mama loves you.
12:19 You wear seat belts.
12:20 And that's how they came up with the airbag
12:23 is a kid was actually riding with his grandma.
12:26 And you know how after a while, there's things like.
12:31 (congregation laughing)
12:34 Airbag.
12:39 (congregation laughing)
12:43 Come on, work with me, it's family fun weekend.
12:49 And I'm not telling you for a minute
12:52 we should go back to that.
12:54 But what I will tell you is that
12:57 we need to let our kids actually grow up.
13:01 Make them wear seat belts, make them wear helmets,
13:04 but they probably don't need a helmet and knee pads
13:07 to walk down the driveway to check the mail.
13:10 Be careful, don't kill anybody, just check the mail.
13:14 The challenge is this,
13:16 in our effort to protect them from pain,
13:19 we've robbed them from confidence.
13:22 Like you've got 20 year olds today
13:25 that don't really want to drive
13:28 because it seems too risky.
13:30 Or 22 year olds that struggle to fill out
13:32 a job application form
13:34 'cause they literally don't have the confidence to do it.
13:37 I've got a friend in business that said
13:38 it's not uncommon for parents to show up to interviews
13:43 when a 20 something year old is trying to interview
13:45 'cause mom and dad need to be there with them.
13:47 See, not only have we robbed them
13:48 from believing in themselves,
13:51 but by taking away all risk,
13:52 we've robbed them from putting their faith in God.
13:56 And Hebrews 11, six tells us
13:58 that it is impossible to please God.
14:00 Without faith, you cannot please God.
14:04 We risk too little.
14:06 Secondly, and I know I've been guilty of this,
14:09 we rescue too quickly, right?
14:12 Little Emma forgets to do her science project.
14:15 And so mom stays up till two in the morning
14:19 doing the project and then celebrates big
14:21 when they win at the state fair, right?
14:25 A little Aiden forgets his jacket at school.
14:27 He's all cold, so dad leaves work,
14:29 goes home, gets his jacket,
14:30 and takes it to little Aiden.
14:32 You know what our dads would do, right?
14:34 You forgot your jacket, walk home in the cold,
14:36 you're not gonna forget your jacket the next time.
14:39 (congregation laughing)
14:40 We actually had, I hate to tell you this,
14:42 we had a staff member that's 29 years old
14:44 that had a problem being late to work all the time,
14:46 so we actually wrote him up.
14:48 And his mom called the office to explain
14:50 why he had a hard time getting to work on time.
14:52 True story, he doesn't work here anymore,
14:54 neither does his mom, just so you'll know, okay?
14:56 (congregation laughing)
14:57 But what I want you to understand is that
15:00 consequences make for a great teacher.
15:05 If we rob them from consequences,
15:08 we're robbing them from great lessons.
15:10 The Scripture says this in Galatians 6, 7,
15:13 "Do not be deceived, God cannot be mocked.
15:17 "A man reaps what he sows."
15:22 When we rob our children of God's natural consequences,
15:27 it's no wonder that they don't fear God.
15:30 If you take away all the consequences, it's no wonder.
15:35 You reap what you sow.
15:39 I like in the parable of the prodigal son in Luke 15,
15:42 you know the story, Jesus told it.
15:44 There was a son who said, "Hey, forget you, Dad,
15:46 "I want my stuff now."
15:48 And what did the son do?
15:48 He went out and he partied hard and his life fell apart,
15:53 he fell into sin, he was totally broken,
15:56 and what did the loving father do?
15:57 Do you remember?
15:58 The loving father welcomed him back
16:01 with all the love and grace possible,
16:03 but the father never rescued his son.
16:08 There's a big difference.
16:09 Sometimes I think we get it wrong.
16:10 We risk too little, we rescue too quickly,
16:15 and we model too weakly.
16:18 We model too weakly.
16:19 And I just wanna say to the parents here,
16:22 if we are not serious about our faith in Jesus,
16:27 if we're not modeling a sincere pursuit
16:32 of living our lives for the glory of Jesus,
16:36 how can we ever expect our children to do that?
16:39 If the truth isn't in our heart,
16:45 how can we impress that truth on our children?
16:48 Because remember, when it comes to parenting, again,
16:51 especially in the early years,
16:53 more is caught than is taught.
16:56 They're watching what we do.
16:59 In fact, I would remind you that your children
17:01 don't just become what you say,
17:04 they become what they see.
17:07 They don't just become what you tell them,
17:09 but they become so often what they see you doing.
17:12 And that's why as parents, one of the fastest ways
17:15 to drive our children away from God
17:18 is honestly just to say one thing
17:20 and do something else, is to be a hypocrite.
17:23 The moment we proclaim faith in Jesus and say,
17:27 we're a Christian family and we don't pray
17:32 and we don't tithe and we don't forgive
17:38 and we don't serve anywhere in our church,
17:41 we don't serve, our life is all about us.
17:44 We say one thing and we do something else,
17:48 it's no wonder our kids run from God.
17:50 The fastest way to drive them away is to be hypocritical.
17:53 In fact, it was Jesus who said this
17:54 in Mark chapter seven, verse six, he said,
17:56 Isaiah was right when he prophesied about you.
17:59 Don't be a hypocrite, as it's written,
18:01 these people, they honor me with what?
18:03 They honor me with their lips,
18:05 but their hearts are far from me.
18:08 Now, we'll never be perfect,
18:11 but if we consistently claim one thing
18:14 and consistently live something else,
18:18 our children will run from the things of God.
18:21 We risk too little and we rescue too quickly
18:27 and we model too weakly.
18:30 So what can we do better to help our children love God?
18:35 I'll give you a couple things today
18:39 and we'll look at more in depth next week.
18:42 I wanna start with what sociologists
18:43 call the law of exposure.
18:46 And you know what that is,
18:47 the more you're around something,
18:48 the more you become like it.
18:49 In parenting, I would describe it this way,
18:51 the law of exposure.
18:53 Who and what you expose your children to
18:57 will shape who they become and what they believe.
19:01 Let me say this again,
19:02 because this is really, really important.
19:04 Who and what you expose your children to
19:08 will shape who they become and what they believe.
19:13 Next week, we'll talk about the who.
19:15 This week, I wanna talk a little bit about the what.
19:18 If we consistently allow our children
19:22 to be exposed to whatever it is,
19:23 bad attitudes or over-sexualized images
19:28 or hardcore materialism or perverted thinking
19:32 or prejudices or ungodly values,
19:35 if we continually let them be exposed to those things
19:39 or people who believe those things,
19:40 it's no question why they would drift from God.
19:44 You guys are being quiet.
19:46 Stick with me.
19:47 If we're going to parent on purpose, what do we know?
19:52 What can we do?
19:53 This is so important.
19:54 We can't force our children to love God,
19:58 but we can expose them to the people and experiences
20:03 that increase the likelihood of spiritual growth.
20:08 That's good preaching.
20:09 You won't say it, but I will.
20:10 I'm gonna say it again.
20:11 I want you to let this sink in.
20:13 We can't force them.
20:14 We can't control them.
20:15 We can't make them do anything at all.
20:17 We can never make them love God,
20:19 but we can be selective in the environments
20:23 we place them in.
20:24 We can expose them to the right people
20:27 and the spiritual experiences
20:29 that increase the likelihood of them growing
20:32 in their faith in Jesus.
20:35 So what experiences do we wanna expose our children to?
20:40 Two today, more next week.
20:43 Number one, we wanna expose our children
20:48 to the joy of knowing God personally.
20:52 We want them to see us know God and worship God
20:58 and need God and be convicted by God
21:03 and be changed by God and experience His power
21:06 and experience His purpose and experience His peace.
21:10 In our lives, we want them to see it
21:12 so they'll also want it.
21:15 We wanna expose them to the joy
21:17 of being transformed by an intimate relationship with God.
21:22 In fact, this is how Jesus described eternal life.
21:24 It wasn't behavior, it was relationship.
21:27 Jesus said, "Now this is eternal life,
21:30 "that they may know you, the only true God."
21:35 So how do we do that?
21:38 How do we expose them to this?
21:40 I was, years ago, my kids were actually on a panel
21:44 and Mandy, who's my second daughter,
21:47 who's married to James, who's on staff here
21:49 and has one child and one on the way.
21:52 Mandy was 17 at the time and they asked her,
21:55 "What did your parents do?
21:56 "What do you need to do to really know God in a personal way?"
21:59 This is what Mandy said when she was 17.
22:02 This was a photo from that time.
22:03 She said, "You should create an environment
22:06 "where your kids wanna have discussions
22:08 "about God so it's not something they feel they have to do,
22:12 "but something they want to do."
22:14 I thought that was really, really powerful.
22:16 You wanna create an environment where they actually want
22:19 to talk about the things of God.
22:21 It's not like my parents are forcing me to do this,
22:24 but it's just a natural part of what we do
22:27 in a Christ-centered home.
22:28 So what we wanna do as a Christ-centered family
22:31 is we wanna make talk about God and Jesus
22:36 and faith and serving and being Christ-like.
22:39 We wanna make that the most normal
22:42 and most common subject in our home.
22:45 It's just like, it's what we talk about.
22:47 And so Amy and I intentionally tried to do this
22:50 when our kids were young
22:51 and it was like ridiculously small things.
22:53 Stephen, we'd go out and get pizza
22:55 and Amy would say, "Can you believe
22:57 "how the Lord has blessed us?
22:59 "We get pepperoni and we get extra cheese."
23:01 And so they, to literally tie the blessings of God
23:04 to just a family night out.
23:06 A kid may get an A on a grade
23:07 and instead of saying, "Great job,"
23:09 we say, "Oh my gosh, you honored God
23:11 "in the way that you studied."
23:12 And you just connect the natural part of God.
23:16 They lose the big game and they're devastated.
23:18 Oh, I'm so sad.
23:19 But you know what?
23:21 You are a great witness out there.
23:22 I mean, you shook hands and you played your best
23:24 and you really honored God by bringing your best.
23:27 You take any type of normal activity
23:30 and you create an environment
23:32 where it's just natural to talk about God.
23:34 And you know why this is so important?
23:36 Because one day, they may have some questions about God.
23:39 And because you're already talking about God,
23:41 they're gonna come to you.
23:42 You want to be so comfortable talking about it
23:45 that when they do have a doubt, and they will,
23:48 the safest place they can come to you
23:51 to process their doubts,
23:52 because we just talk about the things of God in our home.
23:57 What do we know about a relationship?
23:58 If we wanna expose them to the joy of knowing God,
24:02 you know that you can't have a relationship with God
24:05 if you don't talk to God and hear from God.
24:09 So as parents, we want to model that we're people of prayer.
24:13 We talk to God and we listen to God
24:15 and we seek God in his word.
24:17 Again, by the grace of God, all six of my children,
24:21 all my kid-in-laws, all seek God daily in the word.
24:25 And years ago, someone asked one of my sons,
24:28 well, how'd your parents get you to do that?
24:31 And they said, did they bribe you?
24:33 Did they threaten you?
24:34 Did they force you?
24:35 Is it because you're pastor's kids?
24:37 And my son said, oh, no, no, no, no.
24:39 Mom and dad never told us to read the Bible.
24:41 And the guy was really confused.
24:42 What, they never told you to?
24:44 They said, no, Katie just watched mom and dad do it,
24:47 and so she started doing it.
24:48 And then Mandy saw mom and dad and Katie doing it,
24:51 so she started doing it.
24:52 Then Anna saw mom and dad reading the Bible
24:55 and Katie reading the Bible and Mandy,
24:56 so Anna started doing it.
24:57 And so Sam said, well, everybody in the family just did it,
25:01 so I thought I would do it.
25:03 No one told them to.
25:04 It was just a part of the family culture.
25:06 And what'll happen is when they start talking to God
25:09 and then God is a normal part of your family conversation,
25:12 and we live with a God awareness,
25:15 then one day they're gonna come in and say,
25:17 let me tell you what God showed me today.
25:20 Or let me tell you what God spoke to me today.
25:23 And you know you're on the right track
25:25 because at this point,
25:26 they don't have what I call a second-hand faith.
25:30 They're not going to church because you go to church.
25:32 They have a first-hand faith
25:34 because you're doing what number one said.
25:37 You're doing the right thing
25:38 so that your child will experience
25:41 the joy of knowing God personally.
25:45 The second thing you can expose them to
25:47 is you can expose them to,
25:49 and you're doing this right now,
25:50 and you can do even more of it.
25:52 You can expose them to the presence
25:54 and power of God in His church.
25:59 You can expose Him to what God is doing
26:02 through His people in the body of Christ.
26:06 In fact, Psalm 92, verse 13 says,
26:09 "Those who are," what?
26:10 Let's say this aloud.
26:11 "Those who are planted in the house of the Lord
26:15 shall flourish in the courts of the Lord."
26:18 Those who are planted.
26:20 If you're just a casual, cultural Christian family,
26:25 you'll go to church every now and then.
26:28 Whenever it fits into your schedule.
26:30 But if you are a Christ-centered family,
26:33 you will be planted in the house of the Lord,
26:37 and those who are planted
26:39 will flourish in the courts of the Lord.
26:42 In fact, let me just kind of,
26:44 I've been kind of nice now.
26:45 I'm gonna get up into business just a little bit.
26:48 Those of you online,
26:50 I'm getting up into your business just a little bit.
26:52 What isn't optional in your family?
26:58 What's not optional?
26:59 For most of you, going to school's not optional.
27:04 Get out of bed, kids are going to school.
27:07 Homework's not optional.
27:09 Going to the dentist, for most of you, is not optional.
27:11 If it is, it shouldn't be.
27:13 Make 'em go to the dentist, okay?
27:16 Whatever activities are they in?
27:18 They're in dance, we pay for dance,
27:19 you're going to soccer practice, football practice,
27:22 violin, whatever it is,
27:24 activities generally are not optional.
27:26 What happens when the weekend comes around?
27:29 Someone almost always asks,
27:31 do y'all wanna go to church this weekend?
27:33 Everything else during the week that's important
27:42 is not up for discussion.
27:46 And the very thing that should be at the heart of our faith
27:51 and expression of love for God
27:55 is debatable week after week.
27:56 And I'll tell you right now, and not to brag,
28:01 and not because I'm a pastor's family,
28:04 no one ever asked in our family, are we gonna go to church?
28:07 And it's not because we're a pastor's family,
28:09 it's because we're followers of Jesus.
28:11 We did this on vacation.
28:12 I'm telling you, we went for 23 some odd years
28:15 to the same place, Steamboat Springs,
28:17 and we just went to church because that's what we did.
28:20 In fact, I told you this, but I'm gonna go ahead
28:21 and show you, Stephen and Ashlyn are here,
28:23 they got married a couple weeks ago.
28:24 This is him kissing her.
28:26 I had to call him off, he tried to kiss her three times
28:30 before we got to this part.
28:31 And then on the first morning of their honeymoon,
28:34 they went to the place we always go,
28:36 and Stephen texted me, what church should we go to?
28:38 First morning.
28:39 Who does that on their honeymoon?
28:41 Someone who is Christ-centered
28:44 and wants to be Christ-centered.
28:45 So I told him, here's where they go,
28:46 and then they sent us a picture of the church they went to
28:48 on the very first morning of their honeymoon, why?
28:51 Because the church isn't something their parents do,
28:54 they are Christ-centered in their relationship,
28:57 and that's what we do, we go to church.
28:59 And you wonder, like, how can that happen?
29:02 The moment your kids start serving,
29:05 the church becomes their own.
29:06 When they're helping mom drive the golf cart,
29:09 or when they're serving with dad and life kids,
29:11 or they're with their switch leader cutting up donuts,
29:13 and they start serving, then it's no longer your church,
29:15 then it becomes their church.
29:16 And then let me warn you what happens
29:18 is you're gonna wanna go on vacation,
29:19 and they're not gonna wanna miss church.
29:21 That's when it gets annoying,
29:22 and that's what they've done for me.
29:23 We can't miss church.
29:24 Yes, you can, we're going to the beach,
29:26 shut up, kid, we're not gonna be spiritual this Wednesday.
29:29 (audience laughing)
29:29 But let me just say this right now,
29:30 if you often prioritize something over church,
29:35 we're not going to church this weekend
29:38 'cause we're going to the big game.
29:40 We're not going to church this weekend
29:41 'cause we're going to the lake.
29:43 We're not going to church this weekend
29:44 'cause we're gonna sleep in, we had a busy week.
29:47 We're not going to church this weekend
29:48 'cause the weather's too bad.
29:50 We're not going to church this weekend
29:51 'cause the weather's too good, right?
29:54 If you often prioritize something over church
29:58 and never prioritize church over something else,
30:03 you are clearly demonstrating what you value to your family.
30:07 So what if we wake up and realize
30:12 we're more of a cultural Christian family
30:14 than we're Christ-centered?
30:16 The answer is we just start
30:19 becoming Christ-centered right now.
30:20 Jesus, I want you to be first.
30:25 We start in our own heart.
30:27 We call on Him in our own heart.
30:29 We seek Him in His Word.
30:31 We seek Him daily, we pray,
30:34 and then we might even apologize to our kids
30:36 and say, like, I got it wrong.
30:38 I told you about the big family fight on our vacation.
30:41 It was such a deal that I called everybody in
30:46 for a family meeting.
30:48 I mean, we're talking, they're all grown.
30:49 What am I gonna do?
30:50 They're 28 years old.
30:51 I'm gonna take your phone away, okay?
30:52 They're grown.
30:53 They're all grown.
30:55 And I called them in for a family meeting
30:57 and I talked about who we are as disciples of Jesus
31:00 and what I want this to be.
31:01 I want this to be a place where your children come
31:04 and see a big family legacy that's Christ-centered.
31:09 And then I did my little deal,
31:12 and I don't know if they cared or not, went to bed,
31:14 and we came home the next day.
31:17 And two, three days later, I started hearing the stories
31:19 that so-and-so went and apologized to so-and-so
31:22 and asked for forgiveness.
31:24 And they prayed and they forgave each other.
31:26 And this couple went to this couple and said,
31:29 we were wrong and we want to be better.
31:31 And I heard the stories of how Christ-centered people
31:36 work through conflict.
31:40 And I went from feeling like a good dad
31:43 because they were good to a bad dad when they were bad,
31:47 back to a humble dad that knows I can't do any of this
31:51 without the help of a God who loves them even more
31:55 than I love them and is working even when I can't see 'em.
31:59 So what do you do?
32:02 You gradually transfer dependence off of you onto God.
32:07 They need you when they're a baby.
32:11 And you start to say, no, you don't need me,
32:12 but you need God.
32:13 You expose them to the joy of knowing Him personally.
32:17 And you expose Him to the family of God
32:19 who can support them forever
32:20 because we can't force our children to love God.
32:24 But we can expose them to the people and experiences
32:27 that increase the likelihood
32:29 that they would know and serve Him.
32:32 So God, do a work in our families today.
32:36 As you're praying, nobody looking around,
32:37 those of you who say, I wanna be Christ-centered
32:40 in all I do, would you lift your hands right now?
32:42 I wanna be Christ-centered.
32:43 I hope this is everybody.
32:44 I hope this is everybody.
32:45 Jesus, we wanna seek you first,
32:49 seek your kingdom first, seek your heart first.
32:53 And as you say in Matthew 6:33,
32:55 as we seek you first and all your righteousness,
32:58 you would add everything unto us.
33:00 Help us to be Christ-centered in all that we do.
33:04 As you keep praying today,
33:06 I wanna talk directly to some of you.
33:11 Growing up, my family, we were cultural Christians.
33:15 We called ourselves Christians,
33:17 but we weren't Christ-centered.
33:19 This is some of you.
33:22 Others of you, you wouldn't even call yourself a Christian,
33:24 but you find yourself in this really unusual place.
33:27 You're being drawn to God right now.
33:29 What is that?
33:30 That's God drawing you to Him.
33:33 His Holy Spirit is working in you
33:36 because He wants you to know Him personally.
33:40 What is eternal life?
33:42 It's not being good enough, it's not being perfect,
33:44 it's knowing God.
33:46 How do we know Him?
33:48 God loved us.
33:49 He's a relational God, so much that He sent Jesus,
33:52 who was without sin.
33:54 Jesus died on a cross and God raised Him from the dead
33:57 so that our sins could be forgiven.
33:59 And now, it doesn't matter who you are,
34:01 it doesn't matter what you've done,
34:02 when you call on Him, Jesus,
34:05 He'll hear your prayer and He'll forgive your sins.
34:07 Some of you, you're a cultural Christian,
34:10 today, you're gonna become Christ-centered.
34:12 Others of you, you may feel far from God in one moment
34:16 as you call out to Him.
34:17 He'll hear your prayer, forgive your sins,
34:20 He'll make you brand new,
34:21 and you can immediately be in a relationship with Him
34:23 wherever you're watching from.
34:25 Those who say, "I need Him, I want Him today,
34:27 "I give my life to Him, forgive my sins,
34:29 "I want a relationship with you, Jesus, today,
34:32 "I give my life to you," that's your prayer.
34:35 Lift your hands high right now, all over the place,
34:37 and say, "Yes, that's my prayer."
34:39 Praise God for you.
34:39 Others today who say, "Yes, God bless you, Jesus,
34:42 "I call on you, be the Savior and the Lord of my life,"
34:46 lift your hands and say, "I surrender to you."
34:49 Those of you online, just type in the comment section,
34:51 "I am giving my life to Jesus today,
34:54 "I'm surrendering my life to Him."
34:56 Would you pray aloud wherever you are, Heavenly Father?
34:59 I wanna be Christ-centered.
35:02 Jesus, be first.
35:05 My Savior, the Lord of my life.
35:09 Forgive all of my sins.
35:11 Fill me with your Spirit so I could know you
35:15 and serve you and follow you for the rest of my life.
35:20 Thank you for new life.
35:23 You have all of mine.
35:24 I pray this in Jesus' name.
35:27 And all God's people, celebrate, say amen, amen.
35:30 Welcome those born into God's family.
35:31 (congregation applauding)
35:37 ♪ Don't pass a crane ♪