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00:00 Bible tells me to be holy. Now if you just go and sin, I know I get in trouble here,
00:04 I teach my children this, I'm sorry. If you just go and sin, then protect yourself.
00:09 Yeah, don't sin and get pregnant. I tell people that, I mean it. If you're going to
00:15 sin, which is crazy to me, to just let anybody sleep with you that's not married
00:20 to you, but if you're going to do it, oh yeah, I believe in protecting yourself.
00:23 Yeah, don't bring a baby home and you sin and you have to deal with somebody for
00:28 20 years who you don't love. So protect yourself. This is raw teaching.
00:31 Welcome back to Dr. R.A. Verdin TV Season 3, Parents Just Don't Understand Part 3.
00:40 I'm sitting here for a minute. I just sort of hit something. I'm sorry, you're not
00:45 changing my mind. You're not going to tell me differently. One of the things that's
00:48 not going to happen in my fifth decade of life is I'm not changing my mind on stuff
00:54 God says to me when I know I heard Him clearly. One of the things I heard clearly
00:58 from the Lord was my assignment, and my assignment is to deal with relationships
01:04 and leadership in a more real way than maybe you've ever heard. It's my calling.
01:10 I speak not only theologically and biblically and theoretically, hear me, but
01:16 experientially. I'm raising five kids. I'm married to a beautiful woman going on 26
01:23 years. My mother was too young when she had me. I've had and have some family pain,
01:30 separation. I've lived. I'm living. When I talk, I know what I'm talking about, and
01:37 I want to jump into this, and I want you taking notes. I want you calling somebody.
01:42 If you did not watch the first two installments at your homework, this is your
01:46 first time watching us. You have to watch Parents Just Don't Understand Part 1 and
01:51 Part 2. I know it's a Will Smith sort of old-school lyric, but it's real. I'm
01:55 convinced that most people don't understand the power of parents, that
02:01 there are those of us who are 50 years old with parental pain. There are people
02:06 watching me that are in their 40s, 50s, 60s, and your parents didn't understand. By
02:12 the way, it's not that they were mean. It's not that they were terrible people.
02:17 Sometimes their parents didn't understand. I've always told people, "You
02:22 want to take a look at your dad? Look at his dad. Look at his granddad. Look at
02:26 your mom's mom. Did anybody teach her how to be a parent?" It'll help you forgive,
02:31 even though you'll have to work through it. It'll give you sort of more empathy.
02:37 Speaking of this parenting thing, last time we were together, I was really
02:41 telling you the role I play as a father and the role that my wife
02:47 plays, and contrary to what the world tells you, we're not the same people. No,
02:53 she can't be me, and there's no woman watching me that's hard enough to be a
02:58 father, and there's no man watching me that's soft enough to be nobody's mama.
03:04 God didn't put that in you. He put that in a woman, and he put how to be a father
03:12 in a man. This parenting thing is critical, and many of us are in therapy
03:19 because parents didn't understand. Many of us, our children, are going to be in
03:25 therapy if we're not careful because we don't understand the power of parenting.
03:32 So, I thought it was a one-time thing I was doing, and now I can't get it off my
03:36 mind. Who should be watching this? Those of you who have children or want
03:41 children, those of you whose children are grown, peep this. Those of you who are
03:46 raising somebody else's children, I'm going there a little bit tonight. I'm not
03:50 going to park there because I got a new book coming out. Well, not new. I
03:54 actually won't start writing it to 2024, but it is going to bless people's lives
03:59 in terms of raising somebody else's child. Yeah, a divine assignment. Ten rules of
04:08 raising somebody else's child. I mean, it's something. By the way, I've done that.
04:12 My kids are grown now. The ones that are not my biologicals are grown, but I raised
04:19 them, and I'm raising a 13-year-old, and I'm raising a 17-year-old. I got them from
04:25 30 to 13, 37 to 13. So, we've been doing this a long time, and I want to help some
04:31 people. Couple with that, I'm re-parenting. I am re-parenting many,
04:39 many pastors and their spouses and my members who are 40, 50, 60 years old but
04:47 never got parented properly because parents didn't understand. So, I was
04:53 reading some Bible verses, and I want to go over some of them with you because
04:56 some of you may let your child watch this. It's worth watching. It's worth
05:00 saying, "Sit your behind here and watch this with mommy. Watch this with daddy." If
05:04 your kids are grown, watch it together. I want to give you some Scriptures you
05:07 know. I was thinking about something. Exodus 20, verse 12 is the one all of you
05:11 know. "Honor your mother and your father that your days may be long in the land
05:17 the Lord your God has given you." I say it's something that sort of calls a
05:20 paradigmatic shift in many people's perspective on honor at the Word Nation.
05:28 I want to say it again. I'm not sure Hebraically that I believe what I used
05:33 to believe. I used to look at this text, and I used to teach our people, and by
05:37 the way, my theology is fluid. I'm learning. I'm growing. I'm shifting. Jesus
05:43 is Lord. That's all I'm sure about. Everything else, as God teaches me, I
05:48 teach my people as I grow and mature. One of the places I've grown on is this
05:53 idea that you get honor no matter what, alright? That no matter what you've done
06:02 as a father or mother, alright, that this honor you don't have to earn at all. Just
06:08 because you gave me life, I'm going to give you honor the rest of your life. I
06:14 think, this is my opinion, that the text suggests that you tried to be my mama.
06:22 You tried to raise me, or you are raising me. You're doing the best you can. I think
06:28 the text suggests that anybody that gave you life and helping feed your behind,
06:34 feeding you and raising you and washing you up as a child and teaching you
06:39 everything they knew or to know to be better, you better honor them. I'm not
06:44 sure the Bible means I have to honor somebody who didn't even try to raise
06:47 me. Yeah, yeah. So, what? Again, I'll say you raped my mama. I should show you
06:53 honor because technically you're my father. So, you raped my mother. It was a
06:58 date rape, and you never raised me. But when I see you, I'm supposed to say, "Hello,
07:02 Dad. I honor you." I don't know if I believe that anymore. Now, I'm not telling
07:06 people to dishonor anyone, but I believe that this honor bespeaks the idea that
07:14 anybody that gave you life and trying to raise you, you better show them honor.
07:19 "My son, don't forget my teaching," Proverbs 3, verses 1 and 2, "but let your
07:24 heart keep my commandments for a length of days," there it is again, "and years of
07:27 life and peace they will add to you." That's powerful. The Bible seems to
07:33 suggest that you'll live longer if you do what your parents say, that there's a
07:38 blessing, those of you with older parents that are still taking care of them, those
07:42 of you, watch this, that are in what I call the sandwich years, my age, where
07:47 kids are getting grown, peep this, and parents getting sick or older, so you're
07:52 in between the sandwich years. Those can be stressful. You're still young enough to
07:56 make love to your husband, your wife, so you're trying to figure out stuff still,
08:01 you know, as you guys are in the second half of your marriage. Boom, kids 20, they're in
08:06 college, you're getting married, you're helping them. On top of that, parents are
08:10 starting to go to convalescent homes, they're dealing with sickness issues,
08:13 they're living with you. How do you handle that? God's going to bless you for
08:18 that honor, that doing the best you can by them, length of days, long years of
08:24 life, all right? Verse 20, "My son, keep your father's commandments and forsake
08:29 not your mother's teaching." "My son, keep your father's commandments and forsake
08:35 not your mother's teaching." Proverbs 6 verse 20. Proverbs 15 verse 20, drop them
08:39 all, Phil. "A wise man makes a glad father, but a foolish man despises his mother."
08:46 Wow, this is so powerful. Matthew 15 verse 4, really quickly, don't log off, it
08:53 gets better and better. Watch this. "For God commanded, 'Honor your mother and
08:56 your father, and whoever reviles father and mother must surely die.'" Wow, that got
09:03 rough real fast. Okay, Exodus 21 verse 17, I'm going someplace. "Whoever curses his
09:08 father or his mother shall be put to death." Wow. Deuteronomy 21 verse 18 to 21,
09:15 "If a man has a stubborn and rebellious son who would not obey the voice of his
09:22 father or the voice of his mother, and though they discipline him, would not
09:26 listen to them, then his father and his mother should take hold of him, bring him
09:30 out to the elders of the city and the gate of the place where he lives, and
09:33 they should say to the elders of the city, 'This our son is stubborn and
09:36 rebellious. He will not obey your voice. He's a glutton and a drunkard.' Then all
09:40 the men of the city shall stone him to death with stones, so you shall purge the
09:46 evil from your midst, and all Israel shall fear." Now I just read some cold
09:51 blooded Old Testament verses that give you something I want you to learn. Hear
09:56 me, a biblical principle. We know in the New Testament, I'll read in a moment, we
10:01 know now it's illegal to go kill your child because they won't do what you say.
10:06 We know that. You can't just stone them to death. Let me be clear because people
10:09 are watching and my voice carries weight. The Bible clearly teaches in the Old
10:14 Testament that they would stone you to death for dishonoring your mama. See, I
10:18 don't play that. I got young bros in my church whose mama is the best sister in
10:25 my church. She ain't got no man now. She don't have no husband, but that girl cold.
10:29 And he be dogging her. And bros would tell you, the look I put on my face is
10:34 like, "Bro, don't play with me. Yeah, don't even try to hug me and you dogging your
10:39 mama. That's all you got. Your daddy don't even care and you dogging your mama?"
10:44 You know, you taking some of the anger from your mom or for your dad, you taking
10:49 that out on your mom. Is she the only person in this world thinking about you
10:53 for real? I mean, maybe you got a good grandma, maybe a good auntie, but many
10:57 times there's nobody in the world thinking about you like her and you're
11:01 going to dog her? The Bible said in the Old Testament, "Kill that little brother.
11:06 Stone his behind until he's dead. Purge that evil from among you." That's tough
11:11 language. What does that teach us? Something I try to teach people
11:14 biblically and how to think theologically, the heart of God, that's
11:18 what I call biblical principles. Now, we know there's a trajectory. Come on, this
11:23 is Bible study, Bible cast, all mixed together. There's a trajectory that
11:28 suggests in the New Testament there's no more stoning your children. The same
11:32 thing I tell people about traditional families. The Bible says in
11:36 Leviticus that sleeping with another man, if you're a man, is an abomination.
11:41 The Bible says all this rough stuff about homosexuality in the Old
11:46 Testament, but then we see a trajectory where God never changes his mind about
11:53 homosexuality. There's a trajectory that doesn't change. There's no place in Old
11:59 or a New Testament where homosexuality is not spoken of negatively. Other places
12:06 we see the treatment of women, what do we see? A trajectory of change where Jesus
12:12 got women on his ministry team. In the Old Testament, they seem to have no value.
12:18 You could throw a woman away just because you ain't like her no more,
12:21 divorce her for no reason. We see a trajectory of change. Here's what I'm
12:25 trying to tell you. In the Bible, we see a trajectory of, you'll love this, the
12:34 consequences for dogging your mama and daddy. The consequences have changed, but
12:43 I'm not sure God's heart has changed. Oh, you gotta like that. In other words, no,
12:48 you can no longer stone your child, but the Bible shows you the heart of God on
12:56 how serious God is about honoring the woman who gave you life and the man
13:02 that's trying to raise you. This is so good. It's worth letting your children
13:05 hear this part. So, the point I'm making is, parenting is serious to God and
13:11 honoring your parents is serious to God. By the time you make it to the New
13:15 Testament, Colossians 3 verse 20, "Children, obey your parents and everything, for this
13:22 pleases the Lord." Did I tell you, those who watch me, that I take the Bible
13:27 seriously, that I take the Bible seriously, but I don't take it literally?
13:33 "Children, obey your parents and everything, for this pleases the Lord." So,
13:39 what if your father say, "Get high with me." Come on, you see the point. So, you want
13:46 to get the principle. The principle is, obey your parents and everything godly.
13:51 Obey your parents when they're right, but you have a right to put God in front of
13:58 your mama. You have a right to put God in front of your daddy. "No, mom, I'm not
14:02 doing that. I'm not getting high with you. I'm not getting drunk with you. No, dad,
14:06 I'm not putting on no condom and being careful only. The Bible tells me to be
14:11 holy." Now, if you just go and sin, I know I get in trouble here. I teach my
14:16 children this. I'm sorry. If you just go and sin, then protect yourself. Yeah,
14:21 don't sin and get pregnant. I tell people that. I mean it. If you're going to sin,
14:26 which is crazy to me, to just let anybody sleep with you that's not married to you,
14:31 but if you're going to do it, oh, yeah, I believe in protecting yourself. Yeah,
14:35 don't bring a baby home and you sin, and you have to deal with somebody for 20 years who you don't
14:40 love. So, protect yourself. This is raw teaching. If you don't like it, you know, I love you,
14:45 but the Lord told me, when I told these young guys, I mean, I'm not getting in front of this,
14:51 Mike, just Mary had a little lamb. I'm not doing that. No, no, no, no. If I'm going to do this,
14:56 I need lives to be changed. So, you're going to get some of me and my theology. You're going to
15:03 get some of me and my Christianity, but also I want it to be biblically centered and sound. So,
15:10 I want you to catch this, everybody. So, children, obey your parents in everything,
15:14 for this pleases the Lord. As much as you can obey your parents, unless they are contradicting God,
15:23 then you go with God. All right? I want to deal with this just a little bit. I'm going to run out
15:29 of time. How are we doing on time, Denzel? We good? We killing the game? We good? I got about
15:33 18 minutes, 10, 10, 20, 15. Okay, let me work. They told me I can work. Leave me alone. They
15:37 told me I can work. So, I want you to catch this, this idea, and I said this the last time we were
15:43 together, of the roles, the roles of the father and the roles of the mother, and I want you to
15:49 play your role. And what I couldn't get to is, as your kids turn grown, the roles change. I no
15:59 longer have to provide for my grown kids as a father. Now, watch this, I'm just providing wisdom
16:06 and knowledge, but don't get it twisted, as long as they trying, if I got a dollar, they'd get 50
16:14 cents. That's just real. As long as they trying, I'm in it with them. As long as they are trying,
16:21 I'm still providing and helping with that running start. Let me pause parenthetically, too, and tell
16:27 you, black people are the only people that often don't give our children a running start. That's
16:33 why poverty never goes away, because we don't have that Rockefeller mentality. Without getting
16:38 too personal, I just spent thousands and thousands of dollars just on a trust. My lawyer told me he's
16:45 never seen one like it, where here's what happens to my property until the 10th generation, when I
16:53 die. It goes to this one, and then the oldest living male Vernon, and then the oldest living
16:59 male Vernon, so that no matter what happens, there's always into perpetuity, until Christ comes,
17:05 something in our family. I'm worth more, like I speak over your life, dead than alive, because
17:10 insurance and life insurance is more important to me than a Bentley, is more important to me than
17:15 jewelry, right? Thinking generationally, parents just don't understand a good man leaves an
17:24 inheritance, there it is on the screen, for his children's children. A good man leaves an
17:29 inheritance, one version says, for his grandchildren, right? I'm going to tell you something just to
17:35 make you laugh. My son is having a little boy, and one of the things I said to him when he was
17:43 little, now two things you're going to tell any girl you meet before you fall in love with her.
17:49 Number one, my father thinks old school. If you're not my age, you don't remember Dallas,
17:56 the show called Dallas. Look at these young guys, they ain't saying a word. They never seen Dallas.
18:01 I'm in trouble. Somebody please come work for me who's at least 45, because I got all 20,
18:05 30-year-olds, they never seen Dallas. It's on YouTube, Denzel Phil, please Google YouTube,
18:11 watch it on YouTube, old show called Dallas, but it was about this wealthy family in Texas,
18:16 and how they lived on all this land, and the whole family lived on the same property,
18:21 because it was two, 300 acres, so one had a house over here, one had a house over there,
18:26 but the Ewings, and they lived on the same property. Bishop Jake says something that
18:30 never left my spirit. He said, "God is not making no more land." When I heard him say that, I said,
18:36 "What did you say, Bishop?" "God's not making no more land. You can build all the houses you want,
18:42 you can't create no more land." So the little land I live on was in foreclosure, I bought as
18:48 much of it as I could. And one of the things I was thinking, "Come here, is that I want my sons to
18:54 live right on this same property. On that side, you on that side, we can have space between us,
18:59 and you put up your gate and your gate, and let's think generationally where we have our own space,
19:05 our own little piece of the world, and property that's ours." That was important to me, and I said,
19:13 "To my sons, whoever you meet, tell them two things." I told Ray, "Number one, my first
19:18 male child will be called R.A. Vernon III. Number two, I'm never leaving the property
19:27 that our family put in place for us. This is where we're going to live. So if you don't like
19:31 one of those two things, then don't fall in love with me." And so far, we've batten 100.
19:36 And so R.A. Vernon III will be here in a couple of months, my son's first son. And I'm talking to
19:45 my attorney, I said, "Listen, do me a favor. Can we go ahead and add R.A. Vernon III when my sons
19:51 die?" And the lawyer looked at me laughing, saying, "Dr. Vernon, he has to be born first
19:58 before we can put him on there. He has to be born. We can't just add him. He has to be born
20:04 before we can put his name down." That's how, just a little levity, but I'm telling you how much I
20:09 think generationally. I'm trying to add the man, the little boy to the trust, and he's not even
20:14 here yet. Thinking generationally, I speak that over somebody's life. Marry some brother with
20:20 generational mindset. And I'm not saying he has to be rich. He may be a male man, but the brother
20:24 thinks generationally. He may work for UPS. He may work at a store, but he's thinking in terms
20:30 of life insurance. He's thinking in terms of preparing a way so that, watch this, we don't
20:36 start off struggling. We all should get a running start. That's what the Scripture means,
20:42 leads and inheritance for his children's children. He's thinking beyond his life, beyond her life.
20:49 And what you spend, I'll say again, what you spend on getting your weave done and fake eyelashes,
20:57 hear me, could take care of insurance for your children if you died monthly. It could leave them
21:04 a half a million dollars if you died suddenly. Young lady, sadly, broke my heart. One of my
21:10 Divine Nine sisters' brother took her life needlessly, man, just in a rage, in her 40s,
21:18 beautiful in and out, was just with her at the Divine Nine softball or baseball game we have
21:27 down there, League Park, took a picture with her, and then she's just gone. You can be here today
21:33 and gone today. Put something in place. Thinking generationally, thinking generationally,
21:40 parents, particularly black parents, don't understand that we're not gonna be here.
21:45 So, you wanna leave wisdom? If possible, you wanna leave wealth, drop and feel,
21:51 you wanna leave wisdom, watch this, if possible, you wanna also leave wealth, leave wealth so that
22:00 generations can keep running, keep running. I wanna do this. How am I looking? I'm good on time.
22:09 I wanna work a little bit because this idea also, as they get grown, hear me, they still need a safe
22:20 place and space to call and come, which means the old people said they may get off your leg,
22:28 they never get off your heart. All right, I wanna shift tonight in my last few minutes. I wanna deal
22:33 with something that I've learned experientially. This is not in the Bible. I looked. Everything
22:41 about parenting is not in the Bible. Train up a child in the way he should go. That's about as
22:46 much as you're going to get. Fathers, do not provoke your children unto wrath, but there's no
22:52 specificity. All right, there's no parental game. Shoot me some game on how to do it. I've been
22:58 raising children. Not many people watching me can say that you have a son 34 and a daughter 13. Not
23:08 many people watching. 33, 34, what is Dominic? No, I'm going to 33, 34, whatever he is. 33 and a
23:14 daughter 13. We've been raising children about 30 years. And so, we've seen, you'll love this,
23:22 who can say this watching me? We've raised children in the 90s. We've raised children
23:28 in the early 2000s. We've raised children in the 2010s. And it's 2023 and we have a 13-year-old.
23:37 Now, first of all, that bespeaks the idea we didn't plan well. Pray for us. Amen. We are Abraham
23:42 and Sarah. We got children at 99 and we're gonna be raising children a long time still. So, pray
23:48 for us. But there are some advantages. And the advantages are we've seen the shifts in parenting.
23:54 Can you believe that we parented pre-social media? Ray was reminding me there wasn't even Facebook
24:01 when he was little. So, the game has changed. Dominic and Sinead who are 30-something,
24:06 I parented them in the 90s when phones were just coming out. So, literally, we've seen a shift.
24:12 And let me just throw this at you and I'll end with this. If I could throw something at you in
24:17 terms of what parents don't understand is that you now have to make adjustments. Help your child
24:24 with their child. Those of you who are speaking into the life of your grandchild, make adjustments.
24:29 The old school, "I'll slap you down." There are times when there's nothing like a good slap. Now,
24:35 pray for me. I'm for slap ministry. You say certain things, you can still fall to the ground.
24:40 Some of you are from that generation where you said something stupid and all you know,
24:43 it was just the next day. Type, if you feel me, type, "I remember that past." Or you said something
24:50 stupid and you just woke up like, "What did I say?" I mean, I support the backhand ministry.
24:57 But that said, now, it is harder to raise children than it's ever been, period. I don't care what
25:04 anybody say, and it's harder to be a child. It is harder to be a child to me than it's ever been in
25:13 terms of technology and wickedness. Look at me and access. I'm closing with this. Access. Access
25:23 to wickedness. Access to nasty. Access to sexual deviance. Access to things that we wouldn't have
25:35 dreamed of seeing. I've said this to the Word Nation. I want to say it to all of you watching
25:40 our Bible cast. When I was growing up, one friend had a porn stash, and when his mama was gone,
25:47 we could go over there and they'd throw a video in and we get a chance to watch this little
25:51 videotape. And we thought, "What in the world?" when you first saw that. Terrible, wrong, messed
25:56 up so many people's minds because you could go over some friend's house, if the friend had a
26:01 videotape and he can find it. You had to go get a Playboy magazine, and it was behind the counter,
26:07 and they covered up the girls, and you had to be 18 to get a Playboy magazine.
26:12 Now, I'll say it again. The average 12-year-old boy has saw more naked women
26:22 in 15 minutes on his phone than the greatest Roman emperor ever seen.
26:33 Access, which means the day of, "I'll whoop you, I'll beat you, I'll put you on punishment if I
26:43 catch you," is played. I'm not saying there shouldn't be consequences, there should,
26:48 but that's just not going to work when it comes particularly to raising boys, but girls too.
26:53 Now, there has to be conversations, and I wrote this down, transparency and honesty
27:02 in your parenting. Here's how you got to come, and I'm wrapping up. It now has to be, "Look,
27:08 bruh, it's on you. I can take your phone," but you can look at somebody's phone in children's church.
27:16 Unless you live in the Amish country, and every city got an Amish country where there's no phones,
27:22 no electricity, unless you are committed to an Amish lifestyle, chances are, or you are
27:30 absolutely committed to homeschooling, and your children go no place without your permission,
27:35 and you have nothing in your home they can view. There are exceptions, but that's not the majority
27:41 of you. Your child is probably going to have access to porn, probably going to have access
27:49 at some point to seeing something you do not want them to see. In the word church, I'm not crazy.
27:55 Take your child's phone. I can't tell you some child doesn't have a phone in children's ministry,
28:00 in teen ministry, and say, "Take a look at this." So, it has to be now more conversational and
28:06 convincing. Here's the conversation that I've had with my boys, and it has not worked perfectly,
28:12 but they told me it helped them, and it was this, "Look, bruh, these girls got wicked bodies on
28:17 these phones. I'm in love with your mama. I like making love to her. I like kissing her.
28:23 I like smelling her. I like everything about her, and we're in our 50s, man, and to me,
28:29 she colder than girls 20 to me. It's not a woman in this church I take over your mama,
28:36 and we're in our 50s. Now, granted, she looks great to me." Another Bible cast, get what you
28:41 like. Get what you like, men. But also, there are a couple of things that I did not do.
28:48 I want to help you with this. It is the key to no adultery. It is the key to a kind of purity.
28:56 Fall in love with Jesus. Fall in love with Jesus young and be filled with the Holy Spirit.
29:05 Number two, avoid pornography and looking at crazy stuff on your phone,
29:14 your iPad, your television. Make a choice. I'm serious. Job said, "I made a covenant with my
29:19 eyes, Job 31, not to look on a young girl." Number three, when it's time, get what you like.
29:27 This is for free. This is game for young bros. I told them, "I've never seen nobody, guys,
29:35 do a conference for single men." I said, "Maybe I'll be the one." I've never seen anybody do a
29:41 conference. I'm talking to young ladies too, but right here, I'm talking about for your son.
29:45 Number one, let me tell you, most young bros, guys work for me every place, they'll tell you
29:50 they probably seen too much. Stuff just everywhere. If they had anything they could take back,
29:55 seen too much. It's hard to unsee some of that stuff the enemy puts in your mind.
30:00 So now, you finally get to your little beautiful wife, but now delicious from Omaha is in your head
30:08 because you didn't masturbate it to her for three or four years and you didn't watch "Menage a
30:13 Trois" and "Five and Six Girls." And so now your wife, who's beautiful, can never be enough
30:20 because of what's in your head. So I said it to Ray. I said it to Dominic. I said it to Ralph.
30:26 I said, "Look at me. I came front, you watch me every week chase your mama." I said, "I'm asking
30:33 you that if you could follow daddy's path, then maybe you won't cheat on my daughter in love."
30:41 Because if you too nasty and watch too much, now Jesus can always rinse it out your heart.
30:46 I'm finished. I'm going to pray for some people. He can always rinse it out your heart,
30:50 but if you watch too much of that stuff, it's going to be hard to be attracted to one woman.
30:56 So my recommendation to you as your father is avoid that mess because half the guys that I help
31:05 don't even like going to bed with their wife. Some of the pastors that I help, they love their
31:12 church, but they don't love sleeping with their wife because they got so much in their head.
31:17 They've done so much. So if you want to avoid that, you see what I'm doing? I'm having a
31:22 conversation and then I talk about mistakes I've made and things I wish I would have done better
31:28 and how it pained me. We're blended and I talk about the pain of being blended. I haven't even
31:32 gotten to that yet. Oh, this is not Fantasy Island. No, no, God never intended for somebody
31:40 who didn't make you to raise you. And so he'll use it. He'll bless you. He'll use it, but God
31:45 intended if you make a baby, you raise a baby. We talk about the pain of being blended. You ready
31:50 for this? We tell them it worked for us and yet we don't recommend it for you. Yeah, find you
31:54 somebody. You don't have any children. You marry somebody with no children. You guys make your own
31:58 life. If you have a child, then she has a child, then get together, work it out, whatever. We talk
32:03 to them honestly about the pain of this stuff. My time is gone. I'm simply saying parenting requires
32:10 transparency and honesty. Let me give you a scripture and I'm closing. Ephesians 4 verse 15.
32:19 "But speaking the truth in love may grow up in all things into him who is head," Christ,
32:26 speaking the truth in love. I speak truth to my children. Yeah, I speak truth. I speak truth
32:31 about where I've messed up at, about where they mama messed up, about what we could have done
32:35 differently and I speak truth to them about what's going to happen if they don't follow the path of
32:41 God. I speak truth. I don't just fuss. I don't just hit and beat. No, we conversate. My son,
32:47 Ralph, 17, he's no longer a big boy. Look at me. He's a little man. I have to honor that.
32:54 So I speak life over him and tell him, "It's on you, player. I'm in love with your mama. I'm in
32:59 love with Jesus. It worked for me. Now, am I your hero or some rapper or some NBA player?
33:06 Or have you watched happiness? Do me and your mother look like we're friends or do you think
33:12 we're really making love and traveling and kissing each other and raising you guys and going through
33:17 hell together and loving it because God is at the center?" Now, you've seen it, boy. You grew up in
33:24 it. Now, you want what we got or you want what you think some, you know, what you want, 30 women
33:29 or one woman for 30 years like me and your mama? That's what I'm speaking over them. I want you to
33:35 model that so you can speak that and your situation may be different, but you still
33:40 can tell your child, you see joy on your mama. You see peace on me. I'm stopping. I'm out of time.
33:45 This is good stuff. I hope you're getting something out of this. I know I haven't gotten to
33:49 blended families yet. It's coming. That's a whole series. Once I start on this blended family thing,
33:55 those of you that are raising children, you did not birth. Yeah. Woo. I know the beauty of it.
34:02 I know the pain of it. I know the difficulty of it. I know the joy of it. I can't wait to
34:06 talk about all of it. Woo. Season three, Dr. Ari Vernon TV. I need somebody putting something in
34:16 the chat saying this real talk, Dr. Vernon. I appreciate it. Vernon's Village is coming in 2024.
34:22 I need you to get ready. I want you to be a part of the village. You'll get access to things we're
34:26 doing. You'll get stuff nobody else is doing. Special, special shout outs and messages from me.
34:32 Get ready. Vernon's Village wants you to be a part of it coming in 2024. We're working on it now.
34:37 Access to events, special seating, just all kinds of stuff. When I come to your city, VIP treatment,
34:43 you want to be part of the village. In the meantime, if this is blessing you,
34:48 drop it for a gear, baby. Help us be a blessing to us. Share this with your child. Watch this with
34:54 your grandchild. I know some parts of it are raw, but sit down with your kids and say,
34:57 "Look at this. This is raw teaching right here." Yeah. Yeah. Some of this is not in the Bible.
35:02 Some of this, the Holy Ghost told me. Some of this life taught me, but it's all biblically
35:07 grounded and based. But read your Bible and you'll see it doesn't tell you everything. You got to
35:13 live through some of it. You need some people with experience to help you. Hopefully, that's
35:18 what this Bible cast is doing. Would you sow? Would you sow? Somebody tonight just put, "I'm
35:23 sowing $100. I'm sowing 50." If you only have a penny, then we receive. If you don't have anything
35:31 freely received, freely give. This is a labor of love. But like anybody, this ministry,
35:38 RE Vernon Ministries, the Vernon Foundation, it needs resources to help people. Would you help me
35:43 help people? Christmas time is coming. We do it big as a family for Christmas. Why don't you help me
35:47 help somebody? Write a check to RE Vernon Ministries. It's right there on the screen.
35:52 RE Vernon Ministries. Give online. Give however the Lord leads you. Father, in the name of Jesus,
35:59 thank you for this Word. Thank you for this teaching on parenting. We pray that some parent
36:04 is better, some mother is better, some father is better, some grandparent is better. That we'll
36:10 think generationally. That we'll think differently. That we'll honor God. That those of us that,
36:17 like me, just done some dumb stuff as a father. That we'll walk in forgiveness and realize we did
36:25 the best we could where we were. And that we'll be better grandparents. We'll try to be better
36:29 parents to our children, all that they are grown. Those with small children, we pray that they would
36:34 embrace it. Even young people, teenagers that are watching this, that they would honor their
36:38 parents no matter what. We pray that this teaching is blessing people. In Jesus' name, amen.
36:44 I love you. We'll see you next time. Dr. RE Vernon TV. Take care now.
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