Boner Breakfast | movie | 2010 | Official Featurette
Comedy short about friendship, and boners | dG1fWTAyR3hYSWx3UjA
Transcript
00:00 (upbeat music)
00:02 - Breakfast is served.
00:07 - Wow.
00:08 - Yay.
00:08 - Whoa.
00:09 - Yeah.
00:10 - Yeah, just like you like it.
00:12 - Look at you.
00:13 - Bon appetit.
00:14 - This looks amazing.
00:15 You put bacon and cheese in here.
00:18 - You said you wanted bacon and cheese.
00:21 - I didn't even know we had it.
00:23 I was just asking.
00:23 - I had it.
00:24 - Oh, it's good.
00:28 I love you, man.
00:30 - Hmm?
00:31 - Man love, I man love you.
00:32 Sometimes a man loves another man,
00:35 it's called man love, you know, it's cool.
00:37 - Okay, well I don't man love you back.
00:39 - It's okay.
00:40 It could be one-sided.
00:42 - Yeah, but I don't think that's fair.
00:43 If a man loves another man,
00:44 but that man doesn't love that man back,
00:46 then it causes problems.
00:48 - Right, but you know what?
00:50 Love isn't fair.
00:51 Love isn't fair.
00:52 Sometimes, you know, you don't get to choose who you love.
00:54 Love chooses you.
00:55 - I'm still a little bit uncomfortable with it.
00:56 - Okay, well.
00:57 - So I really.
00:58 - I won't talk about it anymore.
01:00 - Thanks.
01:01 - This is great, thank you.
01:02 - I'm glad you like it.
01:03 - It's awesome.
01:04 Do we have ketchup?
01:05 - Yeah, in the fridge.
01:07 - Can you get the ketchup for me?
01:09 - No.
01:10 - Please?
01:12 - No.
01:14 I just sat down, I'm comfortable.
01:15 - It would really--
01:16 - Come on, what?
01:17 It's Saturday, you're gonna be cooking on Saturday.
01:19 - It would just really complete the meal
01:20 if we had ketchup on the table.
01:22 - It's complete already.
01:23 - It would really complete the meal
01:24 having ketchup on the table.
01:25 - I think it's perfect right now.
01:26 I don't need any ketchup.
01:27 - You don't need any ketchup, therefore,
01:30 we don't need any ketchup.
01:31 - Well, I kinda do need ketchup
01:33 because I always put ketchup on my eggs.
01:34 - Then you should get the ketchup.
01:35 - All right, but don't you think
01:36 you should finish what you started?
01:37 - I did finish.
01:38 - It's not really finished
01:39 if there's no condiments on the table.
01:41 - What are you talking?
01:42 - You know, we wouldn't be able to eat
01:43 if we didn't have any utensils on the table.
01:44 What if we didn't have any forks?
01:45 - But we do have forks.
01:47 - Right, but we don't have condiments.
01:48 - Yeah, but condiments are not crucial to the meal.
01:50 - Really?
01:51 - Yes.
01:52 - Do you know in some countries,
01:53 they execute people for not bringing ketchup to the table?
01:55 - That doesn't make any,
01:56 some countries don't even have ketchup.
01:58 - That's horrible.
01:59 Who would wanna live in a country like that?
02:01 Thank God this country loves ketchup.
02:03 - I think you should just eat the eggs.
02:05 - See, do you not just understand
02:07 what I'm trying to explain to you?
02:07 - Yes, I understand.
02:08 I'm saying that if you just tried the eggs,
02:10 you'd see that you don't need any ketchup.
02:11 - I can't even try the eggs if I don't have ketchup.
02:15 My mother, God rest her soul,
02:17 always put ketchup on my eggs, always.
02:20 - Well, then you have two options.
02:21 Either A, you get the ketchup yourself,
02:24 or B, you call your mom.
02:25 Those are your options.
02:27 Take a minute to think about it.
02:28 - I can't really call my mom, can I?
02:30 - What are you, your mom just dropped you off.
02:32 What are you talking about?
02:33 I just saw her.
02:34 - Her phone is not working right now, okay?
02:36 I don't know when she's gonna get another one.
02:39 She works really hard.
02:40 God should rest her soul.
02:41 - God rest your soul, I'm not getting the ketchup.
02:45 - It's your fridge, man.
02:46 I don't even know where things are in it.
02:47 - It's a ketchup bottle.
02:47 It's bright red.
02:48 You can't miss it. - Well, then, look here.
02:50 You're closer than I am.
02:51 You should, you know what?
02:52 This makes sense for you to go.
02:53 - I don't want the ketchup.
02:54 - It's probably expired.
02:55 - I'll take the chance.
02:57 - You're not gonna get the chance,
02:58 'cause I'm not getting out of this chair, ever.
03:00 Just eat the eggs.
03:08 Come on, eat 'em.
03:10 You want me to do airplane?
03:15 I don't wanna do it, but I'll, you want,
03:19 is that what you want?
03:20 All right, fine.
03:22 Here.
03:23 (clattering)
03:25 (groaning)
03:27 (imitating train)
03:32 You don't like it?
03:38 You want me to do choo-choo train?
03:40 All right, I'm doing choo-choo train.
03:43 There's a mountain here, clouds on top.
03:46 There's a big mountain.
03:47 (imitating train)
03:50 Oh my God.
03:51 Fuck.
03:52 I'm blind.
03:53 I am, I'm blinded now.
03:55 Jesus, what the fuck is wrong with you?
03:59 God.
04:00 Oh man.
04:02 What the fuck?
04:03 - It happened before you brought the food out.
04:06 - Okay, well it's rather awkward for me to,
04:08 oh.
04:12 You could've just told me that you had,
04:15 - Oh really? - That's why you,
04:16 - Hey Steve, I have a huge boner right now.
04:17 Would you mind getting the ketchup for me?
04:19 That would've worked.
04:19 - A huge boner?
04:20 - No problem, Danny.
04:22 Well now I know.
04:23 Yeah, well it's a little late.
04:25 I'll point it over here.
04:26 - It doesn't matter where you point it.
04:28 It's ruined, this is ruined.
04:30 Fuck.
04:35 - Can we have any salt?
04:43 (upbeat music)
04:45,
04:48 - Did you even call somebody?
05:13 It's been like four hours.
05:15 (groaning)