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The two titans of WrestleTalk, Oli Davis and Luke Owen clash in the first of our semi-final matches as they are tasked with the impossible task of topping WWE's booking of Kurt Angle's retirement angle... angle.

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Transcript
00:00 Hello I'm Adam Hailing from partsFUNknown and welcome to Fantasy Booking Warfare.
00:07 It is our first semi-final match up pitting Oli Davis who dispatched Alex Queen of the
00:14 Ring with his booking of Daniel Bryan's AEW debut vs Luke Warm, Luke Owen who kicked
00:21 out Denise Alcedo by booking Brock Lesnar's final match. The two titans of WrestleTalk
00:30 will collide, best friend vs best friend to decide who's the best at booking Kurt Angle's
00:37 retirement.
00:45 I'm joined by our two semi-finalists, the Denise demolishing Luke Owen and the Alex
00:54 annihilating Oli. I forgot your name. What the hell man? It's been a while. This bodes
01:03 very well for me. I was the first round, the first entrant and the first round, it's been
01:09 a while. We haven't seen each other in a very long time. That entrant essentially was, here
01:13 is champion Luke and some jabroni I've never heard of. It's The Rock vs X-Pac. Who will
01:22 win? Right, hello everyone. So obviously we are booking something very near and dear to
01:28 my heart, the retirement of the Olympic hero Kurt Angle, despite the fact that WWE already
01:33 did it perfectly of course. So a difficult task for you can be agreed. Just before we
01:38 kick into it, how did you guys find it? Emotional? Was it emotional? How emotional was it? His
01:43 a bit of a scoopage for you. This was my rejected idea for Brock Lesnar's retirement. This is
01:50 the idea I had while I was doing the, I'd written the Brock Lesnar one and I recorded
01:55 it and then while I was editing it I was like, oh no this is a much better idea. Too late
01:59 now, I've already done it. Why would you say that Luke? It's not organic to Kurt Angle
02:05 is what you're trying to say. It doesn't specifically reference him. It could be any, any amateur
02:12 wrestling star that gets retired this way. Yeah, I mean I'm basically offering this up
02:16 to WWE now as a template for any retirement Angle that they want to do for all eternity.
02:22 Nice and specific, that's what we like about fantasy booking. Oli, how did you feel? I'm
02:27 going to put this out on front street, we've all made the joke that WWE have done it perfectly.
02:32 I literally start off with that joke in my book. Just so we're all aware that that joke
02:40 has already been made twice. Secondly, I cried when I was writing mine. Did you really? No.
02:49 No of course I didn't. I'm not a snowflake. I don't cry at wrestling like a Marky Mark
02:56 Cuckman. Is Cuckman your new wrestling name? Hello, Marky Mark Cuckman here and I've got
03:04 a sad story for you. Luke, you seem like a man who has a dice at hand. Oh Adam, I've
03:10 got a whole treasure trove of dice next to me. Would you like a d6, d4, d8, d10? You
03:16 know what, we normally go with a d6. Let's go with a d4. 1 and 2, you go first. 3 and
03:22 4, Oli goes first. None of the whole which do you want, let's just do it. 1 and 2, it's
03:26 Luke. 3 and 4, it's Oli. It's a 1! You're first. Dammit! Yes! Alright, well, let's gather
03:36 round. Just before we start, as I said to my wife on the first night together, apologies
03:43 for the length. It's too long, in this case. Yeah, it's the opposite to what I was actually
03:54 inferring with my wife. This is too long. Why did you have to start? I care so much
04:01 about this one. Why did you have to start it like this? I can't wait to hear this generic
04:07 retirement act. Exactly! I'm on the edge of my seat. You'll see. It's dead good. Shut
04:14 up everyone as we sit back and enjoy Luke's too long booking of how Kurt Angle should
04:23 have retired. I'll be honest, there was part of me that was just going to redo my Brock
04:27 Lesnar retirement booking and then just find and replace the word Brock with Kurt and just
04:33 keep Keith Lee winning. But you know, you've got to give the people what they actually
04:37 want, which is new bookings. I don't know how Adam does this. In the lead up to this,
04:41 we've seen Kurt Angle stepping out of a general manager's office on Raw. We've seen him backstage
04:47 on the phone and we've even seen him backstage at NXT talking with a few of the talents.
04:52 This is never full shots, just like in the background of other things that are going
04:58 on. Like Corey Graves has brought this up on commentary, but people are never really
05:03 talking about it out loud, only ever sort of alluding to what it all could mean. Now,
05:08 full transparency here. I don't remember if this was part of the original story that they
05:14 did. I actually can't remember how Kurt Angle kicked his off, but here's how mine's kicking
05:20 off. It's with Kurt Angle coming out on Raw, looking a bit sad. He says that in 1996, he
05:27 won a gold medal at the Olympics with a broken freaking neck. He's won multiple world titles
05:33 in this very ring while at home, he can barely get out of bed. Don't think that I've not
05:40 been seeing what you've all been saying about me online. Kurt can't go anymore. Kurt looks
05:45 like he can't even stand comfortably. He doesn't feel like Kurt Angle anymore. And the worst
05:53 part of all of that is, it's true. It's damn true. If I tried to win a gold medal at the
06:00 Olympics now, I don't think I could. If I tried to win a world title now, I don't know
06:07 if I could. And there's part of me that thinks, yeah, I can't go anymore. There's part of
06:13 me that knows I can't stand comfortably. And there's part of me that feels I'm not Kurt
06:20 Angle anymore. So it's with a heavy heart that I'm here to announce that I'm kicking
06:26 off the Kurt Angle retirement tour. Now I've spoken with general manager, Baron Corbin.
06:33 Side note, I think Baron Corbin was the general manager at this time. If he wasn't, I'm sorry.
06:40 But for the purposes of this story, I've spoken with the general manager and they've agreed
06:47 to my pitch. And I've also spoken to the people involved and they've agreed. I'm putting together
06:52 a tournament of young, hungry talent that I wish I could have been in the ring with
06:58 20 years ago. I've scouted the best talent in NXT and on Raw and on SmackDown, and I've
07:05 whittled it down to 16 names. 16 names that I want to wrestle. 16 names that I want to
07:14 step into the ring with. 16 names that I would love to have the honour of shaking their hand,
07:21 but only one of them can be my final match at WrestleMania 35. I think it was 35. But
07:30 I know what you're all thinking. No one wants to go see their favourite band do a retirement
07:36 tour and they play all of their new songs off the new record. What they want is to go
07:41 and see the greatest hits. And Kurt Angle needs some warm up matches in order to get
07:46 myself ready for my final challenge. So I have picked some of my favourite opponents
07:51 from my past to tune up the band, so to speak. No, Shawn Michaels won't be one of them. He
07:57 says and chuckles. The crowd laughed too. Across Raw, SmackDown, live events, pay-per-views,
08:05 you're going to see the very best that Kurt Angle has to offer. Because you may think
08:11 that I can't go anymore. You may think that I can't stand comfortably. You may think that
08:17 I'm not Kurt Angle anymore. But when that bell sounds and my opponent looks across the
08:24 ring into my eyes, they will know that I am the Wrestling Machine. I am Kurt freaking
08:32 Angle. Oh, it's true. It's damn true. And that's what we get. A proper, true retirement
08:41 tour for Kurt Angle. As advertised, Angle is on all the Raws. He's on all the SmackDowns.
08:47 He's on the pay-per-views. Live events are advertised as part of the Kurt Angle retirement
08:53 tour. Buy your tickets now to be part of Kurt Angle's retirement tour.
08:58 And these matches won't be like the five-minute throwaway ones we got in real life. These
09:03 are proper ten, fifteen minute, twenty minute matches. Proper Kurt Angle matches. Show that
09:10 Kurt can still go. But you can tie it into stories as well. Each one, Angle learns something
09:17 new about himself. And he does sit-down interviews with Michael Cole, talking about his career,
09:23 talking about the matches and what he's been picking up, what he's been learning from his
09:28 matches against some of his favourite opponents from the past. Because he's doing all of this
09:32 to prepare himself for that final match at WrestleMania 35. What does Angle need to learn
09:38 about himself for that match? We even get a new WWE Network series with Conrad Thompson,
09:45 where Angle watches back his classic matches. Some of his opponents can like sit there with
09:49 him and watch back and they can talk about, you know, "Oh, this happened in TNA, Doodly
09:53 Dee, and it was a really, really good match." And you can use that to play off into their
09:58 TV matches. Like Graves saying on commentary, "Oh man, it looks like AJ Styles remembered
10:04 what happened at TNA Slammiversary 2013. He must have made a mental note about that when
10:10 he and Angle re-watched that match on the WWE Network."
10:15 Angle has TV live event pay-per-view matches with AJ Styles, Samoa Joe, Drew McIntyre,
10:22 Bobby Lashley, Rey Mysterio, Shane McMahon, Brock Lesnar, Triple H, and Sting. The Triple
10:29 H one should be very interesting because you can really play off from their feud in 2000
10:33 where Triple H shut it down because he thought that Angle wasn't handsome enough to date
10:38 Stephanie or whatever that storyline was. Anyway, Gerald Briscoe's got this great bit
10:43 about it where he's like, "Could you kick that man's ass?" Then he gets to be world
10:46 champion. It's very good. There's probably plenty of podcasts to talk about this.
10:50 But anyway, my favorite part of all this, however, is on an episode of Smackdown where
10:54 Kurt Angle comes out. Now, unlike all of the other matches, this one wasn't pre-advertised.
11:02 Angle grabs a mic and he says, "Rather than introduce my surprise opponent, I want to
11:08 show you all something." And he plays a clip from an episode of Smackdown from January
11:14 2005 when a young Roderick Strong answered the Kurt Angle Invitational, and Kurt Angle
11:22 f'd him up so good, I think a woman in the front row openly weeped. So Kurt Angle invites
11:30 Roderick Strong out, putting over how great NXT is, etc. etc. And he offers Roderick Strong
11:37 one more chance to answer the Kurt Angle Invitational. So Roddy, like he did in 2005, slaps him across
11:46 the face and the two have a fun match. Crowd pop huge, etc. etc.
11:52 But it's not just the Kurt Angle Retirement Tour that's happening on TV, PPV and live
11:57 events. It's also the tournament. And the 16 names listed are…
12:03 EC3 Johnny Gargano
12:06 Adam Cole Pete Dunne
12:08 Matt Riddle Aleister Black
12:10 Ricochet Danny Burch
12:13 Oney Lorcan Tyler Bate
12:15 Montez Ford Tommaso Ciampa
12:18 Kyler O'Reilly Bobby Fish
12:21 Trent Seven Walter
12:24 And EC3.
12:25 And there are some really interesting names in that list. Adam Cole, Kyler O'Reilly,
12:54 Tyler Bate, Pete Dunne, Aleister Black, Ricochet, Gargano, Ciampa. But the name that is actually
13:01 going to be featured a lot is EC3.
13:05 You see, EC3 and Angle have history that goes back to TNA, and he sees this tournament as
13:11 a slight against him. Angle didn't pick him to be part of his retirement tour, but
13:17 instead to be put into this tournament in order to win loads of matches so he can just
13:22 beat Angle again. The audacity of this is ludicrous to EC3, who becomes a full heel
13:30 in the tournament. So offended was EC3 by this choice, this slap in the face, that he's
13:38 brought in someone that knows Kurt Angle better than anyone. His aunt, Dixie Carter.
13:46 Carter can cut promos as brilliantly as she always did in TNA about how she gave Angle
13:51 his chance when Vince McMahon gave up on him. He shouldn't have bothered with this
13:56 retirement tour, he should have just picked her nephew EC3 off the bat to be his final
14:04 match.
14:05 EC3's a fun addition because he's the guy that no one wants to win. He's like this
14:10 Baron Corbin rock around the neck of the bracket. He eliminates Ricochet, he eliminates Tyler
14:17 Bate, he eliminates Tommaso Ciampa in the semifinal, setting up the final clash of EC3
14:23 on one side and Johnny Gargano on the other. I think I know which one Twitter would like
14:29 to win.
14:31 Angle comes out there for this final, it's on the episode of NXT that's before Mania
14:35 35, and he's there to witness Johnny Gargano win. After the match, Angle says that he's
14:41 been thinking about what EC3 and Dixie had to say about him, and maybe EC3 is right.
14:48 He can't wait to wrestle Johnny Gargano in his final WWE match, but he wants to have
14:53 his first and final NXT match this Saturday at NXT TakeOver New York against EC3 with
15:02 Dixie Carter in his corner.
15:05 Angle wins his final tune-up match, putting over EC3 in defeat. Dixie and Angle hug after
15:10 the match, and it's lovely for the 10 people that watched and enjoyed TNA.
15:15 And at Mania 35, it's Gargano vs Angle in a great match that Johnny Gargano wins, establishing
15:22 him on the main roster, and we've also created a new star in EC3 in the process.
15:28 I mean, it's better than Baron Corbin.
15:57 I read on EC3's name first because I wanted him to be the thing, and then I was like,
16:02 "Oh, actually, no, if you're going to reveal it, you want it to be the last name, not the
16:06 first name."
16:07 I think you referenced it kind of yourself in the booking, where it's like, when you
16:11 see an aging star, you want to see them play the hits, not songs off their new album. So
16:17 what was it that led you to go with Johnny Gargano as the person who retires Kurt Angle?
16:23 That it'd be a fun match?
16:25 Yeah, yeah, for sure. Yeah, it probably would be.
16:30 I went through the NXT list of people who were there at the time, and I thought, "Who
16:35 would be the match I'd want to watch Kurt Angle have that he's never had before?" And
16:39 Gargano was the name that leaped off the list to me. So I thought, "Cool, he's the one then."
16:43 God, it'd be like watching a ferret wrestle a boulder. Just dancing all around him, just
16:49 trying his best.
16:50 Exactly.
16:51 Well, let's head on over to... Thank you very much for putting the time in.
16:56 Thanks Luke. That was good.
16:58 Well over your allotted time.
16:59 I appreciated it.
17:01 Thank you, mate.
17:02 I enjoyed the extra three minutes.
17:03 Yeah, there was a bit you probably could have cut out there. I waffled a bit. I had a bit
17:07 of a problem with the prompter, so I had to improvise a lot of that. That's why I said
17:11 EC3 names twice as well. There was a lot of things there where you could just hit... If
17:15 you watch it back, there's a lot of me just going like this. No, that's because the prompter
17:19 hadn't caught up with itself.
17:20 It's the way you start...
17:21 Come on, Rami Thompson's podcast.
17:22 It's the way you start with EC3, make sure everyone on camera caught that. Do all the
17:29 rest of the names. And EC3.
17:32 EC3.
17:33 All right, we have to move on. As little as we want to, we have to move on to Oli's booking.
17:40 Oli went the other way of the brief. Oli's comes in at six minutes, so we'll...
17:45 Nice, well done, mate.
17:46 Succinct.
17:47 Concise stuff.
17:48 You don't need to over spice it.
17:50 Alright, so let's find out how other semi-finalists Oli Davis would book the retirement of Kurt
17:57 Angle.
17:58 Kurt Angle's retirement from professional wrestling. While it's hard to top how WWE
18:04 did it, making a brand new amateur wrestling star out of Baron Corbin, Kurt is my favourite
18:10 wrestler of all time. He's yours too, isn't he Adam? You might want to remember that for
18:16 when you're choosing your favour. So I'm going to try to give him the send off he so
18:21 truly deserves.
18:23 And because this is fantasy booking, you'll have to indulge me two things. One, Angle
18:28 can still put on a great pay-per-view match in the current day. And B, everything's happening
18:33 in AEW. I like it there. I want everything to be in AEW.
18:38 Chapter 1 - Intensity
18:41 Over the course of a few weeks, the top young technical wrestlers in AEW like Daniel Garcia
18:46 and Wheeler Utah start to get handed invitations to them backstage or even during matches.
18:51 Each invite simply has a date, the dynamite after the upcoming pay-per-view, and a binding
18:57 of red, white and blue ribbon. Subtle.
19:00 The date comes, and the five young wrestlers are in the ring, uneasy with each other, awaiting
19:04 the person behind the invitations to reveal themselves as Kurt Angle.
19:11 After the huge pop, and probably some mark, burst and enter tears, Angle begins to speak
19:15 from the stage. "What happened to wrestling? Five years
19:18 ago I was traveling all around the world wrestling the next crop of champions, but now I watch
19:24 AEW and all I see is flips. Boo. Hardcore death matches. Boo. I even saw a guy dressed
19:31 as a dinosaur backstage. Boo. Where's the integrity of my sport? I'm here in AEW to
19:39 bring wrestling back. I hereby announce the opening of Angle's Gym. And those five men
19:47 in the ring right now are my first class. It's going to be tough. It's going to be
19:51 brutal. It's going to take everything you've got. So if you want to tap out, leave now.
19:57 This is your one chance, and then you're mine."
20:00 All five wrestlers stay, and they follow Angle out. Over the next month, we get a mix of
20:05 serious and comedy training vignettes with Angle's Gym, and his guys start to pick
20:10 up wins using exclusively wrestling moves on shows. The standout is Daniel Garcia. Angle
20:17 has taken Garcia's vicious side and focused him into a dismantler of limbs. It's time
20:23 for the faction to break their first Angle. Angle's Gym interrupts a Bryan Danielson
20:29 promo, teasing that dream match between Bryan and Angle, but Kurt puts his star pupil Garcia
20:35 forward instead. Bryan accepts. The two clash in a tense 15 minute game of
20:39 human chess, with Garcia pushing Danielson to his technical limits, but ultimately Bryan
20:45 wins, putting over Garcia afterwards by raising his arm. Angle initially looks annoyed with
20:50 Garcia in the ring, but once Bryan has left, he embraces him. The crowd start applauding
20:54 again until Angle gives Garcia a belly to belly. He doesn't let the rest of Angle's
20:59 Gym help Daniel either. Instead, they all have to stand there and watch as Kurt breaks
21:05 Garcia's Angle. Chapter 2 - Intelligence
21:11 The following Dynamite, Kurt has a much harsher, violent image. Garcia lost because Garcia
21:16 isn't good enough. Not because of Kurt and his style of wrestling, because that would
21:19 mean Angle isn't the best anymore. And that's not true. That's damn not true.
21:25 But then his other students start to lose. In reality, it's the erratic moods of their
21:29 trainer that's affecting their performance, but Angle is warped. He's twisted. He breaks
21:34 their ankles too when they fail, believing the real fault is with the business. Everyone
21:39 cheats too much, so he starts to train recruits to cheat too. This more violent, ready to
21:45 cheat Angle challenges Bryan Danielson to the pay-per-view dream match everyone wants.
21:52 Danielson gets the better of Kurt, so Angle gets back on top with a well placed bending
21:55 of the rules. With the referee down at the end of the match, Angle screams at one of
21:59 his recruits to hand him a steel chair. They're about to, when Garcia makes his return to
22:04 beat the rest of Angle's Gym up. Kurt turns round into a running knee, and Danielson wins.
22:11 This sets up a match between Angle and Garcia. Retirement is never explicitly said, but Kurt
22:16 puts it over that if he can't beat his ungrateful student, he shouldn't be wrestling anymore.
22:22 Chapter 3. Integrity. Live on pay-per-view, Garcia and Angle start
22:28 off wrestling, proper, seamless, technical wrestling. And every now and then, it's
22:32 Garcia getting the better of the exchanges. So Kurt just smashes him in the mouth. You've
22:38 got to learn to play dirty at this level. Angle works over Garcia like JK Simmons worked
22:43 over Miles Teller in Whiplash. Garcia will make a comeback, but Kurt always has an answer
22:48 with his wily veteran experience. They eventually start to go back and forth, but collide with
22:53 the referee. Seeing the official unconscious, Angle goes
22:57 outside and grabs a chair. He comes back in to find Garcia making his way to his knees.
23:02 Kurt's screaming at him. You're not good enough. Nobody is good enough. Garcia just
23:08 grits his teeth and goes onto all fours. He's offering Kurt a free grapple.
23:15 Angle looks at Garcia on the floor. He looks at the chair in his hands. This is about who
23:20 is the better man, not who's the craftiest. Angle's respectful, better nature of wrestling
23:25 returns to him, and he throws the chair away as they enter the endgame of human chess.
23:32 In Kurt's career, they chain wrestle. Garcia gets the better of him. Then Kurt comes out
23:38 on top. Then Garcia. Then Garcia again. Angle doesn't have the answers anymore, and he's
23:43 starting to realise his own legacy's mortality. They start a chain wrestling sequence that
23:48 goes on for two full minutes, twisting, twirling, in an elegant last dance fitting of a legend.
23:55 Kurt goes for the leg, but Garcia reverses an ankle lock of his own, dropping down into
23:59 the grapevine, and Angle, is that a smile on his lips? Angle taps.
24:07 I did like it. I like the idea of putting it in a W. I mean, giving me Angle versus Danielson is... that's... borderline pandering, but I'll take it.
24:22 I didn't do a Suzuki-Goon debut.
24:25 You kept it simple. Look at you go.
24:28 What I liked about Oli's, if I may just quickly put it over, is that Oli told a story while I just told a series of unfortunate stories.
24:35 I told a series of unfortunate events.
24:38 Sort of loosely all tied together. Oli told a focus story. Six minutes.
24:43 I didn't sell the network though.
24:45 It was the same length as the Baron Corbin match. It was tight.
24:48 It was... yeah, the different chapters. Yeah, it's interesting stuff. So, was it set up as his retirement match, him versus Garcia beforehand? I think I might have missed that.
24:59 Was that an official thing, or is it just after the match he's going to put his boots in the ring?
25:03 Yeah, it's not an explicit thing. It's just... because he wouldn't say I put my career on the line or anything.
25:09 He just says, "If I can't beat you, my student, I don't deserve to be wrestling anymore."
25:15 Is this on Dynamite or is this on pay-per-view?
25:18 That's on Dynamite. I think it doesn't really matter. The way AEW do shows, I think it would be better to have the Danielson match on a pay-per-view and the retirement match on pay-per-view.
25:32 That's fair. Also, he's in the same company as Sting. You didn't have him wrestling Sting. I mean, what's the deal with that?
25:41 Think of the amazing five-minute match those two lads could have had.
25:45 Where was your Dixie Carter? She's right there. She's not busy.
25:50 So much focus on TNA.
25:53 That's his best time! Angle's best period was in TNA.
25:57 F*** you, no it wasn't, mate! Yes it was, mate! No it wasn't, mate! 2000 and 2001 was his best time, mate!
26:04 2002 against Rey Mysterio.
26:07 You could have had a Nigel McGuinness-Kurt Angle interaction in NXT, Luke.
26:14 I'm sorry, in WWE, did he stand there in a suit surrounded by Booker T and Samoa Joe and Scott Steiner and Sting as the main event mafia? No, he did not.
26:24 Why do you want to lose this? It's because you're having a kid next week. You just be like, "Look, the final sounds like one or two extra things on my plate."
26:30 I don't think it's crazy to say that some of Kurt Angle's best years were in TNA because he had so many of them there. He was only in WWE for a cup of coffee.
26:40 Yeah, but the cup of coffee...
26:42 Was a very good cup of coffee and then he had loads of good cups of coffee in TNA as well.
26:47 Anyway, so Oli's booking. Half the length, twice the focus. I mean, I will be honest, I will be biased here.
26:58 Because normally I like to leave it up to the WT... the PFK universe, as it were. But no, I do prefer Oli's.
27:05 I pretty much did just book Whiplash. That's what I wanted it to be. That last scene in Whiplash where they're both doing the drumming and they're going back and forth.
27:14 That but with hugging.
27:17 That with sweaty men on the floor.
27:19 Mmm, nice.
27:21 Yeah, Griplash you could call it.
27:23 Ooooooh, that's a good one, mate.
27:26 Or Irish Whiplash, depending on...
27:29 Irish Whiplash just sounds like Whiplash but in Ireland.
27:33 I think it's a promotion.
27:35 Yeah, Irish Whip Wrestling.
27:37 This has just been a very loose episode of the show, hasn't it? Just a bunch of... just shooting the shit.
27:44 No special guests to be on our Best Behaviour poll because you eliminated them both.
27:51 You undeserved champions.
27:53 Right, well, I look forward to see which of you is going to be facing... well, either Laurie Blake or Stephen Larson.
28:02 Join us next week for that titanic semi-final match as Laurie and Steve and Larson compete to see who books the ending of the Undertaker's streak.
28:17 See you then, bye.
28:19 [OUTRO MUSIC]

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