Rick and Morty 7x01
Rick and Morty 7x01 Season 7, Episode 1: Poopy Gets His Poop Back - Cold Open Mr. Poopybutthole Overstays His Welcome
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TVTranscript
00:00 (glass clinking)
00:01 - Ugh, any clue when our house guest
00:03 is finally gonna leave?
00:04 It'd be nice to have the living room back.
00:06 - I keep tripping on all his top hats.
00:08 - He's always messing with my TiVo.
00:09 It's an antique.
00:10 The buttons are fragile.
00:12 - Big surprise that dad's avoiding all this.
00:14 - Guys, he's a family friend.
00:15 He can stay as long as he needs.
00:17 - Hey, so I just sold some drugs
00:19 to the weird little dude in there.
00:20 He said you had cash.
00:21 Oh, you kids in school?
00:23 You having trouble focusing?
00:24 - Okay, that's it.
00:25 Morty, find your grandfather
00:26 while I go talk to our house guest.
00:27 Jerry, pay the dealer.
00:29 - Yeah, I prefer the term pharmacist.
00:31 - Who do they?
00:32 - Any chance you have--
00:34 - Sorry, I left my wallet in space.
00:36 - Are you leaving to get it?
00:39 - Mr. Poopybutthole, this has gone far enough.
00:43 We have been really cool to you in your time of need.
00:46 - I agree, Beth.
00:48 I'm a piece of garbage.
00:50 Can you boost me up so I can hook my belt
00:53 to the ceiling fan?
00:54 - We don't have a ceiling fan.
00:56 - Oh, wait.
00:57 Is that why it's so hot?
00:59 They're not expensive.
01:01 (sighs)
01:02 Bet you didn't expect to see me in a cold open, huh?
01:05 Looks like I'm taking another turn for the worse.
01:08 It all started when Beth shot me.
01:10 - I said I was sorry.
01:12 - I know.
01:12 It tore you up inside like a bullet.
01:15 - It was an accident!
01:17 - Anyway, then I got fired from my job.
01:20 My wife left me.
01:21 Broke both my legs.
01:23 Failed the bar exam.
01:25 Oh, wee, things went downhill from there.
01:27 So I've been crashing with the Smiths for a while.
01:30 Oh, wee, I'm Mr. Poopybutthole
01:33 and this is Rick and Morty season seven!
01:35 (dramatic music)
01:38 (dramatic music)
01:41 (dramatic music)
01:44 (dramatic music)
01:47 (dramatic music)
01:50 (dramatic music)
01:53 (sirens)