Resistance is Useless was a 1992 documentary examining the history of Doctor Who through a compilation of clips from the | dG1fX25HQWNaOXdtNWM
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Short filmTranscript
00:00 [The sound of a laser beam]
00:07 [The sound of a laser beam]
00:09 The laser scope is transmitted. The quality is poor.
00:15 Science, not sorcery, they call for.
00:20 Look.
00:22 [The sound of a laser beam]
00:24 [The sound of a laser beam]
00:26 [The sound of a laser beam]
00:28 This device is now ready for testing.
00:30 We shall use it to trap them all together.
00:33 [The sound of a laser beam]
00:40 Hello. Hello.
00:44 Don't be alarmed, old thing. It's not going to hurt you.
00:49 Everything's going to be all right.
00:52 [The sound of a laser beam]
01:15 Ready to start moving the probe down.
01:18 [The sound of a laser beam]
01:35 [The sound of a laser beam]
01:38 Ah, that's taking care of the Cybermen.
01:41 I'm so sorry, Ken. I'm the holidays off.
01:43 Doctor.
01:45 That's the new assistant.
01:48 [The sound of a laser beam]
01:54 It's your fat gear.
01:56 Fat gear.
01:58 [The sound of a laser beam]
02:14 [The sound of a laser beam]
02:29 Doctor, why don't you go and get out of that ridiculous garb?
02:32 Okay.
02:34 [The sound of a laser beam]
02:37 What's a girl like you doing in a job like this?
02:41 You found something.
02:44 Oh, Polly, I only wish I had.
02:48 Why not make some coffee to keep them all happy while I think of something?
02:52 All right.
02:54 They want to take over the Earth.
02:56 Oh, really, Miss Crowe?
02:57 What will we take if we like? And what they're going to do to...
02:59 All right, all right, all right. Let me deal with the explanation.
03:03 Exactly as you predicted, a chain reaction of explosions.
03:05 Well, it's fantastic. How do you do it?
03:07 Well, it's all quite logical, really.
03:09 Half of any calculation you need at all.
03:11 Except for simple stuff like the speed, angle of descent, and relative positions of the spaceship.
03:16 Can't we keep her on? She's much prettier than a computer.
03:20 What would you like me to do?
03:21 Well...
03:26 I'd like you to stay out of my way as much as possible and try and keep out of trouble.
03:29 I don't suppose you can make tea.
03:30 Tea?
03:31 No, no, no, I don't suppose you can.
03:32 They don't teach you anything useful at the academy, do they?
03:35 You could use an infrared film, a 25 filter on a 35 mil camera with a telephoto lens,
03:40 and, well, you could take frame after frame without getting anywhere near them.
03:44 Is that all gibberish, or do you really know what you're talking about?
03:47 Of course I know.
03:48 You're right. It could well be the sort of proof I need to get some action.
03:51 Well, all I need is my cameras from the house, and then I'm all set.
03:54 Now, wait a minute. This is hardly a job for you.
03:56 Why ever not?
03:57 Well, you're a young woman. This is a job for my men.
04:01 And of all the bigoted, anti-feminist, cretinous remarks...
04:05 This is no job for a girl like you. Now, that's final.
04:08 Oh, you... you man!
04:11 One of the ensanguilleros of Dr Who is the Brigadier, whose praises I'd like to sing.
04:17 Commander of the British branch of UNIT, the United Nations Intelligence Task Force,
04:22 Brigadier Alastair Gordon Lethbridge-Stewart first appeared in the Web of Fear in 1968 as a colonel,
04:27 helping to doctor combat Yeti who were terrorising the London Underground.
04:31 Customarily, he drives an army Land Rover.
04:34 The Brigadier is now retired and teaches A-Level maths at a boys' school.
04:38 Interesting that.
04:40 How nice to see you again, Doctor.
04:44 It's Colonel Lethbridge-Stewart.
04:46 Er, Brigadier, now. I've gone up in the world.
04:49 Where's the Doctor?
04:51 Gone in there, sir.
04:52 Then what are we waiting for? Let's get after him.
04:54 Where, sir?
04:55 Look.
04:57 Yes, I see what you mean.
05:01 Never mind, we'll soon fix him.
05:03 - Jenkins! - Sir?
05:05 Start with the wing, Clare. Five rounds of that.
05:11 Oh, dear, oh, dear, oh, dear. I do wish he'd listen to me.
05:14 Come along, we'd better follow him.
05:16 It's not just a matter of the same country, sir.
05:21 The Doctor's right. We're not even in the same universe.
05:24 What?
05:25 No nonsense, Banton. I tell you, that's a beach out there.
05:27 It's probably in Norfolk or somewhere like that.
05:29 - Oh, please, if you'd only listen to me... - Right, now.
05:31 I'll tell you what we'll do.
05:33 You two stay here. See that nobody wanders in.
05:35 We can't have the place overrun with holidaymakers.
05:37 I'll nip out, find a phone and tell the authorities exactly where we are.
05:41 I'm fairly sure that's Cromer.
05:43 - Packager. - Excuse me, sir.
05:45 Captain Turner's airborne. ETA over Russia.
05:47 Two hours, seven minutes from take-off.
05:49 Good. Keep the Doctor's channel open and let me know the moment he contacts you.
05:52 Yes, sir.
05:54 Don't look so worried.
05:56 Have a cup of tea.
05:58 What's wrong?
06:03 Did you know that in 1975,
06:05 Mary Whitehouse's National Viewers and Listeners Association
06:08 complained that Genesis of the Daleks was too frightening,
06:11 while the Cybermen were condemned for being too violent?
06:16 (DISTORTED)
06:18 Carlos?
06:36 Carlos?
06:42 (DISTORTED)
06:44 (SCREAMS)
07:10 (SCREAMS)
07:12 Holy Moses! What's that?
07:29 (DISTORTED)
07:31 It's beyond me.
07:34 (DISTORTED)
07:36 John!
07:59 (SCREAMS)
08:02 The first budget for Doctor Who was £2,500.
08:05 The series has always prided itself on producing frighteningly realistic effects
08:09 for minimal amounts of money.
08:11 One viewer wrote in to complain about the BBC
08:14 blowing up an entire church in the demons.
08:17 The church was a model.