Struck by tragedy, Chef Dave transformed his biggest hardship into a motivator for change. With a family to support and a fading dream, he mustered the strength to rebuild the life he always wanted.
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00:00 I couldn't believe it.
00:00 And I was just like, you know, it's like that.
00:03 You know, I was just shaking and it was,
00:05 I couldn't believe it.
00:07 Her name was Molly,
00:10 and that's who I ended up getting married to.
00:12 And then we had a couple of kids of our own.
00:15 One of the things about Molly was holidays were everything.
00:19 Like she would make holidays so special for those kids.
00:23 And what ended up happening is it was October of 2014.
00:28 It was a Saturday.
00:30 The kids were home and were playing in the house.
00:32 She was in the playroom.
00:33 And all of a sudden she was having trouble breathing.
00:36 I can't breathe, I can't breathe, I can't breathe.
00:38 She couldn't even speak.
00:40 And the kids, I told the kids, I said,
00:42 mom's not feeling well.
00:45 You guys got to stay out of here for now.
00:47 You know, her eyes kind of rolled up a little bit.
00:52 And there's like a little, you know,
00:57 mouth and I pant, I was terrified.
01:02 It wasn't right, you know, and I called,
01:04 I called 911 and they were sending somebody,
01:08 but it was going to take time.
01:09 And she was out at that point.
01:12 She was not conscious.
01:13 And I took her and I put her on the ground and they,
01:16 I didn't know how to do any mouth to mouth or anything.
01:19 They talked me through it on the phone.
01:20 They had me, you know, on her chest
01:23 and all that kind of stuff.
01:24 And I did what I could, but she was not, she was out.
01:28 And so they put her in the car
01:30 and I went out back with the kids.
01:31 I said, you guys, let's, we just got to pray.
01:33 You know, mom's, mom's really not doing good.
01:36 And I was just praying like crazy, please, you know,
01:40 and it was a female doctor.
01:43 Finally, she came up to me and said, you know,
01:45 we did, we did the best she could.
01:47 We could, but she's gone.
01:48 And I mean, she was 43.
01:54 You know, just, we didn't know.
01:59 It's not like she had something for a while and was sick
02:02 and we had time and she was just gone, you know?
02:06 And I, I walked out and I just screamed.
02:11 I just screamed as loud as I could.
02:14 I was just, I just wanted out of my body.
02:16 I wanted out of my skin.
02:18 Like my skin felt heavy.
02:19 My body just felt like it was crushing me.
02:23 And I just wanted to just not, not to be dead,
02:25 not to be gone, but just, just for a minute,
02:28 be out of all that weight.
02:29 And then I had to go home, you know,
02:31 and I had to go home and I had to be with the kids.
02:34 And that was probably the longest night of my life.
02:38 No matter what I was feeling, I knew it was way worse
02:41 for them.
02:42 It was my sole purpose at that moment to be there for them.
02:47 One of the things I said to myself is I don't care
02:50 what I have in the tank, if I'm totally out or what,
02:54 I'm gonna make these, these holidays awesome
02:56 for these kids.
02:57 I'm gonna, you know, Halloween's gonna feel like Halloween
02:59 and Thanksgiving is gonna feel like Thanksgiving
03:02 and Christmas is gonna be, you know, and I just,
03:05 I think it almost killed me, but I did it, you know?
03:08 And I really pushed myself to make each one
03:12 of those holidays what they were
03:13 because they had already lost enough.
03:16 And that was a big part of the beginning of their healing
03:19 at the same time as I'm just being crushed
03:22 and feeling all these things, I had to pull it together
03:25 and be there for them.
03:26 Out of such a dark and terrible thing,
03:28 there is an amazing thing that you find out about yourself
03:32 because every morning you wake up and you're like,
03:35 how the fuck am I gonna do this?
03:37 You feel like just not even getting out of bed,
03:40 but then you gotta pull yourself out,
03:42 you gotta wake up the kids and you gotta make breakfast.
03:44 Every day you do it and you get through the day
03:47 and you get to the end of the day and it's nighttime
03:50 and somehow the strength is there.
03:53 So one of the things though that happens
03:55 when you go through something like that
03:57 and you kind of look at your life
03:59 and you realize, wow, it's fragile, man.
04:01 If life is gonna be this fragile,
04:03 what do I want my life to look like
04:05 and what can I do to get there?
04:06 I said, okay, I'm gonna have to change
04:08 what my job is for sure.
04:10 I wanna do my dream again.
04:12 That's where Outstanding Foods was born.
04:15 And really for the first time in my life,
04:17 no joke, for the first time in my life,
04:19 I was actually directing my life.
04:21 Even though I was in this shit storm,
04:23 I was in hell, I was miserable,
04:26 I was crying all the time and yet at the same time,
04:30 the healing was already starting,
04:32 I was starting to take charge of my life.
04:34 Most of us, our life is kind of a combination
04:38 of what we meant to have happen
04:40 and what kind of came our way
04:41 and so your life becomes this kind of thing
04:45 that maybe wasn't quite what you wanted
04:47 and I remember even thinking things like,
04:48 oh, I don't deserve that,
04:50 oh, I don't deserve to be successful,
04:52 I don't deserve good things happening to me.
04:55 My entire being was controlled by fear.
04:59 I was afraid of stuff and so I avoided it
05:02 and then it just didn't happen
05:04 but it was stuff that I wanted to do too.
05:06 People say you don't wanna get to the end
05:08 and have regrets and in order to get to the end of the path
05:11 and not have all the regrets,
05:12 you're gonna have to make that choice at some point.
05:15 A few years ago, I knew that when I got to the end,
05:17 there was gonna be a boatload of regrets
05:19 and now the regrets have fallen away
05:22 and I think that's how it all aligns.
05:24 You have this gift you're given
05:26 and you have this passion.
05:28 If that's the thing that's gonna drive you,
05:30 if that's the thing that's gonna make you excited
05:33 about being alive, I mean, there's so many things in life
05:35 that are burying us and pushing us down
05:38 and making it hard to get up in the morning.
05:40 If that's your thing, you just gotta find your spot
05:43 and you gotta go for it
05:45 and honestly, I used to feel like I was drowning
05:48 all the time, just trying to find air
05:50 and trying to breathe and it's not like that anymore.
05:53 After all of that darkness, there's light
05:56 and this is me driving the car now.
05:57 (gentle music)
06:04 (gentle music)
06:07 (gentle music)
06:09 (gentle music)
06:12 (gentle music)
06:15 (gentle music)
06:17 you