Ryan Gosling's Ken stole the show in "Barbie." Welcome to MsMojo, and today we’re counting down our picks for the funniest, strangest, and most Kenergetic lines uttered by Beach Ken in the 2023 film.
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00:00 I'll take a high-level, high-paying job with influence, please.
00:02 Okay, you'll need at least an MBA.
00:04 And a lot of our people have PhDs.
00:05 Isn't being a man enough?
00:06 Welcome to Ms. Mojo.
00:08 And today, we're counting down our picks for the funniest, strangest, and most
00:12 "canner-getic" lines uttered by Beach Ken in the 2023 film.
00:15 Watch out for spoilers.
00:17 You can't do a flip like that, Ken.
00:19 What?!
00:22 Ryan Gosling's Beach Ken and Simu Liu's Tourist Ken
00:28 were rivals long before the Ken war/dance-off.
00:32 The two are uselessly competitive for reasons they probably don't even know.
00:36 But the jealousy seems one-sided.
00:38 I made a double bet with Ken.
00:40 And you can't make me look uncool in front of Ken.
00:43 Ken's not cool!
00:44 He is to me.
00:45 Tourist Ken can backflip and has hair so perfectly coiffed that it can sparkle.
00:50 So we totally see why Beach Ken would be filled with envy.
00:53 The first time we see them face-off is after he epically fails to run into the
00:57 plastic water.
00:58 And Tourist Ken quickly taunts him about it.
01:01 Oh, looks like this beach was a little too much beach for you, Ken.
01:03 If I wasn't severely injured, I would beach you off right now, Ken.
01:07 I'll beach off with you any day, Ken.
01:08 Hold my ice cream, Ken.
01:09 There's the obvious innuendo, but the funniest part is just how serious they
01:13 are about beaching each other off.
01:15 But Barbie steps in before we get to see who comes out on top.
01:19 Sorry, we had to.
01:21 Number 9. Playing guitar at Barbie
01:24 Come on in.
01:25 I'll play the guitar at you.
01:26 Oh, yay!
01:27 During the Kens' takeover, we saw different types of stereotypical guys,
01:31 like the one who loves to talk about the Godfather,
01:33 and the guys who mansplain everything.
01:36 But one of our favorites is guitar guy Ken, who nonchalantly tells Barbie
01:40 he's going to play the instrument at her.
01:43 Brian Gosling's delivery of the ridiculous line,
01:46 and his intense eye contact while playing,
01:49 make this one of the best scenes of the movie.
01:51 Well, this ain't over.
01:55 No, not here, no.
01:59 Not while I still need you around.
02:02 When Ken started strumming and singing Matchbox 20's "Push,"
02:06 you better believe the audience erupted in laughter.
02:09 Cut to four hours later, when all the Kens are harmonizing to their
02:13 respective Barbies on the beach, progressively freaking out when their
02:16 ladies wander over to other Kens.
02:19 Does the title of long-term, distance, casual, low-commitment girlfriend
02:23 mean nothing?
02:24 Number eight, Just a Dude.
02:27 Ken is overjoyed to see a world that celebrates men, and horses, of course,
02:31 but as he tries to get one of those fancy careers,
02:34 he realizes that his gender simply isn't enough.
02:37 You guys are clearly not doing patriarchy very well.
02:40 No, no, we're, uh, we're doing it well, yeah.
02:44 We just, uh, hide it better now.
02:47 Back home in Kendam Land, formerly known as Barbie Land,
02:50 he finds the power he was looking for,
02:52 teaching his fellow Kens the ways of a patriarchal society.
02:56 He's just being a dude, no actual skills or certifications needed.
03:00 And you know what?
03:05 That's enough.
03:07 Even though he goes about it in entirely the wrong way,
03:10 we were happy to see him feel good about himself.
03:13 And in the end, it all works out.
03:15 Ken is me?
03:21 Yes.
03:22 Ken is me?
03:24 We're not sure where his I Am K'Nuff hoodie came from,
03:27 but we'll take one, please.
03:29 Number seven, Crying's Not Weak.
03:31 It was hard-running stuff.
03:34 I didn't love it.
03:35 Despite a misguided attempt to permanently establish patriarchy in Barbie Land,
03:40 Ken eventually proves he is more evolved than some people think.
03:43 After the Barbies restore their leadership,
03:46 he's overwhelmed and sheds some tears.
03:48 Okay, he's full-on sobbing.
03:50 Those mini-fridges are so small.
03:53 You can only fit a six-pack in them, and the freezers are basically useless.
03:58 But as Barbie learned in the real world, crying is good for you.
04:02 Even though it's sometimes perceived as a more feminine expression of emotion
04:05 and problematically looked down upon,
04:07 Ken doesn't seem ashamed and knows it isn't an act of weakness.
04:11 I'm a liberated man, I know crying's not weak.
04:14 He may be easily influenced by toxic masculinity,
04:17 but he's also emotionally intelligent.
04:20 We love that last part for him.
04:22 I'm really sorry I took you for granted.
04:24 Oh.
04:25 Number six, This Ken Can't Do Flips.
04:28 Well, you bet both those things incorrectly,
04:30 and I bet in the opposite direction.
04:32 Yeah, yeah. Which way is that?
04:35 You don't even know.
04:36 One thing about tourist Ken that drives beach Ken nuts
04:39 is his ability to do sick flips,
04:41 which beach Ken apparently cannot do himself.
04:44 He admits as much while stereotypical Barbie tries to get him to understand
04:47 that he needs to be his own person without her.
04:50 I only exist within the warmth of your gaze.
04:57 Without it, I'm just another blind guy who can't do flips.
05:03 But Mattel quite literally created Ken for Barbie,
05:07 something Greta Gerwig ingeniously incorporated into the film's narrative.
05:11 In the end, he seemingly understands that he's a separate person, or doll,
05:15 from the protagonist, and inspires the other Kens to follow suit.
05:19 Honestly, maybe the dude just needed to learn how to do some flips.
05:23 Ken? Oh, hey Barbie.
05:24 Hi. How much of that did you see?
05:27 We saw the whole thing.
05:28 Let's get you up on your feet, Ken.
05:30 Number five, His Job Is Beach.
05:33 Barbie seemingly doesn't invite Ken to join her on her journey to the real world,
05:37 but that doesn't stop him from going anyway.
05:39 As he's pleading his case to be her travel companion,
05:42 he reminds her that she might need him, a beach professional,
05:46 posing an important question.
05:48 You're just going to slow me down.
05:49 Barbie, what if there's beach?
05:51 You'll need someone who's a professional in that.
05:54 Whether Ken actually thinks Barbie wouldn't be able to navigate the sands of California
05:58 on her own is unclear.
06:00 He might just be using his limited expertise to justify his presence.
06:04 Shredding waves is much more dangerous than people realize.
06:06 You're very brave, Ken.
06:09 Thank you, Barbie.
06:10 One of the things Ryan Gosling made abundantly clear about Ken
06:13 is that his job is beach.
06:15 No, no, no, no, no, no, not a beach-related profession like lifeguard,
06:19 surfer, or even an instructor of some kind.
06:22 It's just beach.
06:24 And to be fair, there was beach in the real world.
06:27 Oh, I'm not trained to go over there.
06:30 I'm trained to stand confidently right here.
06:32 But there's nobody in danger here.
06:34 And even if there were, I'm not trained to save them.
06:36 Then I can't hire you.
06:38 I can't even beach here!
06:40 Number four, Mojo Dojo Casa House.
06:43 Barbie returns to her homeland with human guests, Gloria and Sasha,
06:46 to see there's been a drastic change.
06:49 Not only are all the Barbies embracing being so-called "helpful decorations,"
06:54 Ken has taken over her pristine dream house
06:57 and turned it into a cluttered man cave.
06:59 This shall henceforth be known as Ken's Mojo Dojo Casa House.
07:04 You don't have to say "dojo" and "house."
07:06 And "casa."
07:07 But you do, because it feels good.
07:09 His Mojo Dojo Casa House features random exercise equipment
07:14 and a mini-fridge loaded with brewski beers.
07:16 And like pretty much everything else in Kendom,
07:19 the redundantly named abode is Western-themed.
07:22 Barbie's understandably upset, but Ken doesn't back down
07:25 and oh-so-generously offers her a relationship on his specific terms.
07:30 You can stay if you want, as my bridewife,
07:33 or my long-term, low-commitment, distance girlfriend.
07:36 This role reversal is entertaining, but it's also kind of heartbreaking.
07:40 At least he briefly gets to enjoy all the bro time
07:43 before the patriarchy, thankfully, crumbles.
07:46 Every night is boys' night.
07:51 Number 3
07:52 A Girlfriend/Boyfriend Sleepover
07:54 Wow.
07:55 You can go now.
07:57 The months leading up to the July 2023 release of Barbie
08:00 were filled with anticipation,
08:02 especially as trailers gave us a lot to get excited about.
08:05 Seeing Ryan Gosling's Ken trying and failing to spend the night with Barbie
08:10 was instantly iconic.
08:11 I thought I might stay over tonight.
08:13 Why?
08:14 Because we're girlfriend/boyfriend.
08:16 The way he says "girlfriend/boyfriend" is so innocent and childish
08:19 that we can't help but laugh every time we hear it.
08:22 His smile doesn't falter when he immediately admits
08:25 that he has no idea what they would do at this hypothetical sleepover.
08:29 Gosling proved to everyone who doubted him that he is the perfect Ken,
08:33 because he's as hilarious as he is talented and playful.
08:36 I love you, too.
08:38 Girlfriend! Girlfriend! Girlfriend!
08:41 I can't. I gotta go.
08:43 Number 2
08:44 He's Just Ken
08:45 The Barbie soundtrack is one undeniable banger after another,
08:49 but if there's one song we'd leave on repeat,
08:51 it would be "I'm Just Ken,"
08:53 the power ballad that blew everyone away.
08:56 No one knows how hard I tried
08:59 Oh, oh, I
09:01 I have feelings that I can't explain
09:05 Driving me insane
09:08 It begins with Beach Ken lamenting his insecurities
09:12 and ends with all of the Kens standing proudly hand-in-hand
09:15 singing their hearts out.
09:17 We may have been gifted with a preview before the release,
09:20 but it still didn't prepare us for the show-stopping performance.
09:23 I'm just Ken
09:25 Where I see love, she sees a friend
09:28 What will it take for her to see the man behind the tan
09:34 and fight for me?
09:37 It's difficult to choose just one line that we love more than others,
09:40 but Ken saying that he's great at doing stuff is up there.
09:43 "My name's Ken and so am I" might just take the cake, though.
09:47 Put that manly hand in my pocket
09:51 So hey, world, check me out
09:54 Yeah, I'm just Ken
09:56 Before we unveil our top pick,
09:58 here are a few honorable mentions.
10:00 Sublime!
10:01 A word we did not expect would be part of Ken's vocabulary.
10:05 Would you just hold on for one second?
10:06 Oh, okay.
10:08 Sublime!
10:15 Ken's nether regions. That's right, all of them.
10:18 I do not have a vagina.
10:21 And he does not have a penis.
10:23 We don't have genitals.
10:25 That's okay. Yeah, whatever. It's cool.
10:28 I have all the genitals.
10:30 Man-doctor. His misplaced confidence is next level.
10:34 No, I won't let you do just one appendectomy.
10:38 But I'm a man.
10:39 But not a doctor.
10:40 Please. No.
10:41 Can I talk to a doctor?
10:42 You are talking to a doctor.
10:43 Can you get me a coffee?
10:44 No.
10:45 And I need a clicky pen and a white coat and a sharp thing.
10:47 No. There he is. Doctor!
10:48 Somebody get security.
10:49 Ken's beach battle war cry.
10:51 Remember, he is the professional when it comes to beach.
10:55 I'll see you on the Malibu beach!
10:59 Real world admiration.
11:01 We're sure Barbie would love to experience the same non-threatening attention.
11:05 I feel what can only be described as admired, but not ogled.
11:10 And there's no undertone of violence.
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11:28 Number 1. Patriarchy and horses.
11:31 Why didn't Barbie tell me about patriarchy?
11:33 Which, to my understanding, is where men and horses run everything.
11:37 Everything about Ken's perception of the patriarchy is wild.
11:40 Like his utterly hilarious reaction to being asked for the time.
11:44 He also mistakenly makes a connection between men and horses that somehow makes sense to him.
11:49 At first I thought the real world was run by men.
11:51 And then there was a minute where I thought it was run by horses.
11:55 But then I realized that horses are just men extenders.
11:59 As it turns out, Ken's new smug persona is more performative than we thought.
12:03 Indeed, he admits to Barbie that he wasn't a fan of the patriarchy
12:07 after realizing he overestimated the role of horses in his understanding of the concept.
12:12 Clearly, that didn't stop him from making nearly everything about the creatures, though.
12:17 Down to the lining of his Fojo Mojo mink.
12:20 I look so stupid!
12:22 Oh no! You look so cool!
12:25 What Ken quote had you crying with laughter?
12:28 How many times have you blasted "I'm just Ken" at full volume?
12:32 Spread the Kennergy in the comments below.
12:34 Do you agree with our picks?
12:36 Check out this other recent clip from Ms. Mojo.
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