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00:00 God is God. God is the judge. If I stay angry, I'm the foolish one, because
00:10 only God can be angry and just completely all at the same time.
00:16 He's loving, merciful, kind, and also He can be just all at the same time.
00:26 But when humans, that's the whole thing. I'm not built to handle the type of anger
00:38 that people might try or life might try to put on me.
00:45 And God's like, "You're right. I didn't build you for that.
00:49 So let me be God, you be man." Back to 15 and 1, 2 Samuel, and I mean eight
01:09 signs that bitterness is at work in your life. Eight signs that the spirit of Absalom is
01:17 growing in your life, verse one. After this, what we just talked about, David
01:23 brought Absalom back to the kingdom. And it happened that Absalom provided himself
01:29 with chariots and horses and 50 men to run before him.
01:35 So he had this whole entourage. He was looking the part of a king, and he
01:39 knew what he was doing. He was about to get his revenge, and he was
01:43 doing it on the sly. He was a smart guy, and he thought out the
01:46 plan, and he knew how he was going to do it.
01:49 But here's the problem with self-promotion. Whatever height you attain through self-promotion,
01:56 you must yourself maintain. But when God promotes you, He will fight for
02:02 you. He will keep you in whatever position He
02:05 has put you in. And self-promotion will get you there for a
02:11 minute, but it just gets exhausting to stay there, because you don't have the grace to
02:16 endure it. I know folks that have stolen folks, done
02:19 stuff. They got it from me, but they couldn't keep
02:21 it. They might have stolen it, but they didn't
02:25 have the grace for it. And if you keep your heart sweet, whatever
02:29 stolen God will give back to you seven times. He's that type of God.
02:37 We're talking about the eight signs of bitterness. Sign number one, we just saw it.
02:43 Bitterness is deceptive. It always makes you feel justified taking
02:47 matters into your own hands without looking to God.
02:51 So when you're bitter, it's just like anger. Anger almost feels like prophetic, and then
02:56 you're so right until it's amazing. Like two hours later, it's like, ooh.
03:01 But in the moment, you feel so right. And he had so much bitterness in his heart,
03:07 he felt he had a right to steal the kingdom from his daddy.
03:13 Now Absalom would rise early. So, Absalom, he had a strong work ethic, but
03:18 so does the devil. How many of y'all know that?
03:22 You see, in every person there's a little bit of good, and in every good person there's
03:26 a little bit of bad. Which brings us to point number two.
03:31 Bitter people still have admirable qualities, meaning you could be functioning in the church.
03:38 You could be singing in the worship team. God might use you despite you.
03:42 Hear what I'm saying? But just because there's some good things
03:47 about you doesn't mean that you don't have a problem in this area of your life.
03:54 And Absalom would stand by the gate, which was the place where decisions were made.
03:57 It's where all the leaders of the cities would gather.
04:01 And he liked to, you know, he kind of positioned himself to be around the powerful.
04:08 Point number three, the Absaloms of this world are good with hiding who they really are and
04:13 positioning themselves with people more powerful than themselves.
04:18 So, bitter people often, it's kind of parasitic. They look for that larger figure, so they
04:27 can also poison them. And in those gates he was working a plan
04:32 so he could steal the kingdom from his daddy. So, it was whenever anyone who had a lawsuit,
04:41 point number four, bitter people target hurting people.
04:46 So, they gravitate toward the wounded and the abused.
04:52 The disgruntled, I have found, I don't know how it's done, but the disgruntled just kind
04:57 of have a way of finding each other. So, pay attention to the types of friends
05:04 you have. Because birds of a feather flock together.
05:10 Yep, yep, yep. So, it was whenever anyone who had a lawsuit
05:16 came to the king for a decision that Absalom would come and say, "What city are you from?"
05:25 Bitter people on the surface seem to care, but underneath all they, they don't really
05:33 care about you. They just care about getting even.
05:37 You're merely a tool, a means to an end to help them make whatever point their bitter
05:46 heart wants to make. A woman on the rebound will do things she
05:53 would never do any other time. A man on the rebound would be dumber.
06:01 See, I have a lot of life experience behind this pulpit here, and I got to learn to give
06:16 it out in just doses. And he would say, "Your servant is from such
06:23 and such a tribe in Israel." Then Absalom would say to him, he had a MO.
06:29 Look, your case is good and right, but there's no deputy of the king to heal you.
06:34 Number six, bitter people are constant fault finders.
06:39 They can very quickly point out everything wrong without mentioning what's good and right.
06:44 Now you do need critics in your life, and you do need to deal with things that aren't
06:49 right and aren't wrong. But what happens with the Absaloms of this
06:52 world, they can't find any good. They're the only one that got something good
06:57 and that's fair. They're the only one that cares, and they
07:01 just look for the wrong, and they focus on the wrong.
07:06 And when all you could see is what's wrong in a person, and you can no longer see the
07:11 good qualities in that person, you're dealing with a root of bitterness.
07:21 Look your case is good and right, but there's no deputy of the king to heal you.
07:29 Notice Absalom did not attack the king directly. He used insinuation.
07:37 He used ingratiation. He made himself likable.
07:43 And he also used the rolling of the eyes. Some people are smart enough not to say it,
07:47 but you see it all over their face. And what, 70, 90% of communication is nonverbal.
07:55 So you might not be able to get it on a tape recorder, but it's been said, and God is watching
08:02 what we do. I would rather an enemy who admits they hate
08:07 me instead of a friend who secretly puts me down.
08:16 Moreover, Absalom would say in the gate, this is David's son.
08:24 Oh, that I were made judge in the land back to point number one, self-promotion.
08:32 And anyone who has a suit of cause would come to me, and I would give him justice.
08:40 And so it was whenever anyone came near to bow down to him, and he loved it, that he
08:47 would put out his hand and take him and kiss him.
08:53 Point number seven, the bitter often feel that they are the voice of reason.
09:02 A man or woman of the people. And they think they're more caring.
09:09 They think they're more in touch with the needs of others than the folks that God has
09:14 set in place. So he would come and kiss the hand, and again
09:19 he's ingratiating himself. And if you come to me because I care, he didn't
09:23 say David's a bad man, but it's implied. And everyone knew what was going on, and he
09:30 wasn't just doing this with the people, he was doing it at the gate.
09:34 Other leaders were watching. And he was gathering a crowd, and he was gathering
09:38 a team and an assembly and a group of people that he could get in agreement so he could
09:45 ultimately revolt against his father. In this manner, meaning this is what he did.
09:51 He had, like I said earlier, he had a MO, a modus operandi.
09:55 This is the way he operated. In this manner, Absalom acted toward all Israel
10:01 who came to the king. Now they were coming for the king.
10:04 This guy was supposed to be representing the king, but he twisted it and made it about
10:09 his advancement. Who came to the king for judgment.
10:13 So watch this, and we're done. So Absalom stole, stole.
10:20 He didn't just want to, he stole the hearts of the men of Israel.
10:27 People went for it. People bought it.
10:34 Absalom was strategic. Point number eight, bitterness is a thief.
10:46 Bitterness not only steals from you, or better, it doesn't only steal from others.
10:54 The big point is it steals from you, your innocence, your integrity.
11:04 And Absalom was left, and next week we'll wrap this up I believe.
11:11 By his own strength, Absalom was going to take the kingdom from his father.
11:18 By this time, David's a little bit older. David's not as strong as he used to be, but
11:25 David was still God's man. David made mistakes, but it was still God
11:32 who appointed him, and he wasn't to be sat down or removed until God moved him.
11:40 But Absalom allowed his bitterness to speak to him like a prophet.
11:49 His bitterness spoke to him with such authority that he felt invincible.
11:56 He was, his hair, and his youth, and all this charisma, and all that he had going for him.
12:05 He used it and stole the hearts of Israel. If any daddy was brokenhearted at this point,
12:17 in fact David wrote a psalm during this next period, and I'll bring that up perhaps next
12:22 week, and we can see what was going on in his heart.
12:28 And it's one thing someone you don't know, but the little one you had bouncing on your
12:36 knee, and the little baby that you had the highest hopes for, and the one that looks
12:44 like you, acts like you, Absalom stole the hearts of the men of Israel.
12:58 But the reason he did it was because his heart got bitter.
13:06 And I have watched men in marriages 40 years not deal with issues, and then that bitterness
13:16 rise up, and all of a sudden they're with a woman half their age.
13:26 I've seen women, beautiful women, beautiful, but because of bitterness they're 40 but look
13:34 at 60. Bitterness is setting yourself on fire and
13:43 hoping the people around you die of the smoke. In the book of James, James makes this observation.
13:57 He says, "Anger does not work the righteousness of God."
14:03 This is something I had to get as a younger man, and even as an older man I still find
14:08 myself sometimes when I watch these movies rooting for the revenge.
14:13 How many of you all do the same thing? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
14:20 I felt if I, my anger meant God ought to do something, because I'm angry.
14:31 But my anger doesn't work the righteousness. It don't make God do nothing.
14:38 God is God. God is the judge.
14:42 If I stay angry I'm the foolish one, because only God can be angry and just completely
14:50 all at the same time. He's loving, merciful, kind, and also He can
14:58 be just all at the same time. But when humans, that's the whole thing.
15:07 I'm not built to handle the type of anger that people might try or life might try to
15:17 put on me. And God's like, "You're right.
15:23 I didn't build you for that. So, let me be God.
15:27 You be man." [APPLAUSE]
15:35 This is how the Bible says it. It says, "Vengeance, Derek, is mine.
15:41 I will repay." Vengeance is God's prerogative.
15:48 I put myself in the place of God when I try to exact vengeance.
15:55 He says, "I am God. Vengeance is mine.
15:58 I'm not going to steal from God." And sometimes we try to get even.
16:04 We don't realize that we're stealing the prerogative of God.
16:09 We're acting like little gods. And God said, "No, vengeance belongs to me.
16:16 Boy, as smart as you think you are, you won't get it right.
16:21 I'll do it, and when I'm through I won't go to jail.
16:24 As a matter of fact, I'll get it so right they might even come to me."
16:35 That's right. Jesus took Paul, the man that was persecuting,
16:44 killing, and beating Christians, and he said, "Paul, it's hard to kick against the goats,
16:50 but I'll get it." And then by the time Jesus was through,
16:57 Paul's on his knees talking about, "Lord!" Most of us would have prayed God kill him.
17:06 His killing Christians were justified in asking that, "Kill him."
17:11 That's why I leave that to God, because only God knew what he placed inside
17:16 that man. And that man or woman you hate, God may not
17:20 There may be something divine placed in Him that only that person can do, and you've got
17:27 to give it to God.
17:29 Give it to God.
17:30 Give it to God.
17:31 Give it to God.
17:32 Give it to God.
17:33 I'm done.
17:34 Jesus, the God in Gethsemane, He said, "Father, can this cup pass for me?"
18:01 Pray three times.
18:07 He's never been separated from the Father all eternity.
18:09 There's always one.
18:10 So, what was going to happen on the cross physically was going to be awful, but the
18:13 worst part for Jesus was to be separated from the Father.
18:17 He took God's wrath.
18:18 He became sin, and the punishment that was supposed to be ours was laid on Him.
18:22 So, He took it spiritually, emotionally, physically, in every possible way.
18:26 And He said, "Lord, hey, I ain't never done nothing like that before."
18:32 See, you know, I've sinned and come back, but He ain't never done that.
18:37 It was the first.
18:38 He didn't sin, you know what I mean, but He took it.
18:42 "Father, if it be Your will, may this cup pass for me."
18:48 God didn't say yes.
18:51 So, Jesus drank the cup of every bad thing ever done to us, every bad thing you've ever
19:00 done.
19:01 He drank the cup to its bitter drinks, and He took it for you and me.
19:10 Jesus died for you, but He also died for that person that hurt you and wounded you.
19:20 I know, I know.
19:25 We have to learn to leave it.
19:28 It doesn't mean you don't get mad, and please don't misunderstand.
19:31 I get mad.
19:33 People do stuff, and I'll just have to pause in my office for a minute.
19:38 Sometimes I have to pick up the phone.
19:39 "Uh, this is, you got some advice?"
19:42 I got to talk it through.
19:44 And a lot of times, forgiveness begins like a seed.
19:50 It's just a choice I make.
19:52 It's not a feeling I have.
19:53 The feeling comes later, but it's the choice that I'm not going to go there with that person.
20:01 I'm not going to return evil for evil, but I'm going to return good for evil.
20:07 Jesus said, "Blessed are you when you reviled yous."
20:10 And people say all manner of evil.
20:11 He said, "Blessed are you when you get there."
20:13 He said, "So, they treated the prophets of old, meaning you're in good company."
20:18 So, when people do things to you, you are actually in good company.
20:24 And now you have an opportunity to prove your faith.
20:29 A lot of people settle for being church people, but Jesus wants us to be Christians.
20:38 The Christ I know had holes in His hands, holes in His feet, yet He said, "Forgive them.
20:45 They don't know what they're doing."
20:47 And then, instead of killing everybody, He said it was finished.
20:51 And then at the end of that, He did not take matters into His own hands.
20:55 He waited three days for the Father to raise Him from the dead and vindicate Him.
21:05 Can you trust God to be your vindication?
21:08 Can you trust God to handle it in His way?
21:12 Do you really have faith in your life and in your heart?
21:20 The end of the book of Galatians, the Galatian church had been fighting with Paul and criticizing
21:26 him.
21:27 And he gets to the end of it, he says, "Trouble me no more, for I bear in my body the marks
21:33 of the Lord Jesus Christ."
21:36 He didn't say, "I'm an Apostle."
21:39 He didn't say that one day I'll be one of the most celebrated Christians that have ever
21:43 lived.
21:46 His authority were the marks of the Lord Jesus Christ, meaning He had holes in His hands,
21:56 holes in His feet.
21:59 He took the beating but kept loving.
22:03 He took the criticism but kept speaking the truth.
22:08 He took the rejection but He kept reaching out.
22:15 Many of us have crosses that we wear around our necks, earrings.
22:21 We do this even when we pray.
22:26 But God's not looking for a bumper sticker or at your jewelry.
22:35 He wants to see if you have holes in your hands, holes in your feet.
22:42 Did you love somebody even when it hurt?
22:47 You need to understand that Israel at that time was the church.
22:52 What happened when Amnon and Tamar happened at church?
22:56 This was the first family.
22:59 David was a prophet.
23:04 And in church these awful things happened.
23:06 Absalom rose up in the church against his daddy.
23:12 And many of us never going back to church because you had some church hurt.
23:19 But Jesus saying, "I don't want you to be just a churchified person.
23:24 I want you to be a Christ follower.
23:28 I need you to learn about the holes in the hands and the holes in the feet.
23:32 I want you to learn about loving, imperfect people."
23:37 The problem with church is people, not Jesus.
23:42 It's the people.
23:44 Wherever you got people, you got trouble.
23:46 You got problems.
23:47 You got issues.
23:54 And this church is no different.
23:55 And I'm not speaking of anything I know of, so please, I'm not...
23:58 If y'all arguing with somebody, I don't know, okay?
24:01 It's just my message today.
24:05 But you'll know them by their love, and true love loves the unlovely.
24:12 (Music)
24:13 (Music)
24:13 (Music)