Arzuu Pakistan Mai Croro Ki Investment Karne Ko Tayyar, Marhoom Ki Chalaki Ne Kiya Saleem Ko Kangal
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00:00 "Wisdom, wisdom."
00:02 Welcome back, viewers.
00:03 We have a guest with us in this break.
00:06 He says he wants to bring foreign investment to the country.
00:09 He has brought an investor with him.
00:12 Let's talk to him.
00:13 Greetings.
00:14 Greetings. I am very happy that you have called me to this program.
00:18 You said a guest has come.
00:20 I thought it would be a respectable person.
00:22 What is she saying? Respectable?
00:24 She is saying to me that she loves me.
00:26 Why are you lying?
00:29 Sir, the thing is that she has come from a remote area of Scotland.
00:34 Scotland is a remote area.
00:36 So, even she is from a remote area.
00:38 The English, her dialect and vocabulary are completely different from others.
00:43 So, you don't have to talk directly to her
00:44 because you always spoil the conversation.
00:46 Okay, I am not allowed to talk to her.
00:47 I will interpret in the language that she understands.
00:49 Sir, he looks like a businessman.
00:51 But he doesn't look like one.
00:52 No, I don't agree with you.
00:55 He doesn't look like one.
00:56 Sir, look at him. He looks worse than a nerd.
00:59 Tell me, what is the matter that you have come to the show for?
01:03 I have brought a very big investor with me.
01:06 And I am basically his interpreter.
01:09 Are you a businesswoman?
01:10 Not businesswoman.
01:11 Are you a businesswoman?
01:14 That much I understood.
01:16 I think he is a nice man.
01:18 She is saying to speak carefully.
01:20 She is not saying that.
01:22 You are not allowing me to talk to her.
01:24 I have given you permission a few times.
01:26 But you never gave me a good answer.
01:28 Mr. Arun, why are you taking his permission?
01:30 You can talk to her directly in English.
01:32 She has brought him here.
01:33 So, I am talking to her.
01:34 Yes, of course, there is a protocol.
01:36 I don't like two of these girls.
01:38 And why is that?
01:38 Because I think they have fake hair.
01:40 Not fake hair.
01:41 Actually, alpha females are not as good as other females.
01:46 She is either from America or Pakistan.
01:49 But she is jealous of you.
01:51 Why don't you talk to her properly?
01:52 You also have fake hair.
01:53 You look like a cat.
01:55 Excuse me, miss. - Yes.
01:58 We are not jealous, okay?
01:59 You are not jealous of me? - Not.
02:01 Once upon a time, there was a 30 kg toque.
02:03 Oh, shut up. - She used to talk to me.
02:04 She used to talk to you.
02:06 You are sitting there.
02:07 She is talking to you.
02:08 I have talked to my hair. Shut up.
02:10 By the way, does your accent go with your clothes?
02:14 No, I said it by mistake.
02:17 I am curious. Where did you find him?
02:19 On Facebook.
02:21 Oh, he was constantly being in my DMs.
02:24 And he was telling me that he wants to do business with me.
02:28 She is saying that she likes him a lot.
02:29 But I will think about it first.
02:30 Hey, listen.
02:32 Listen to her.
02:33 He is sitting in front of you.
02:34 He is interpreting everything wrong.
02:36 He is doing injustice to them. He is doing fraud.
02:38 She wants to bring investment in Pakistan.
02:40 People like you spoil it. - No.
02:42 Why is this man acting like a crazy person?
02:44 Jealous of me. Totally.
02:46 The problem is that you are translating.
02:48 I am saying that he is interpreting.
02:50 You don't know the difference when you are interpreting.
02:52 You are always talking in between.
02:53 Wow. - Okay, tell me.
02:54 Where do you want to invest?
02:56 I have brought a good proposal for Mr. Salim.
02:59 Really? - Yes, sir.
03:00 Mr. Salim, you are getting proposals at this age too.
03:02 That's a big thing.
03:03 At this age, kids ask, 'Dad, what do you want to write?'
03:06 The proposal is that she will invest 6 million dollars.
03:12 Okay. - You just have to invest 50,000 dollars.
03:14 She will start a small industry.
03:16 Profit 50-50.
03:17 I will give money.
03:19 But my two shops..
03:21 Yes. - ..should adjust in between.
03:23 Actually, he has two shops.
03:24 He wants you to actually integrate those shops in your business.
03:28 I know.. - Sir, don't talk directly. What's wrong?
03:30 Actually, he has two shops. He wants to..
03:32 What? Integrate?
03:33 Integrate in business is the..
03:34 I know about the two shops that you are..
03:36 You know about it?
03:37 I know.. They are right in front of the railway station.
03:40 Research. Check my investor's research.
03:43 But this proposal is wrong.
03:46 It's okay that Mr. Salim has a little money.
03:48 But 50,000 dollars is a huge amount.
03:51 He doesn't have that.
03:52 It's good. It will cost some money in Pakistan.
03:55 People will get employment.
03:56 Our system will work. People will get employment.
03:58 If she is investing 6 million dollars
03:59 then you have a right to 50,000 dollars.
04:01 Sir, I have a right.
04:02 And I have a good proposal for Mr. Gogol.
04:04 Thank you, sir. - Give him.
04:05 I have invested 10 million dollars in him.
04:07 I have already invested 10 million dollars in Europe.
04:11 What did she say?
04:13 She is saying that instead of dancing everywhere
04:16 it's better that you do one business.
04:18 She is saying this about you.
04:19 I have invested 10 million dollars.
04:21 I didn't bring it.
04:22 This guy was invited to one of the functions in China.
04:25 And he had this vase in his foot.
04:27 And he was constantly going like..
04:29 "We are Gujarat."
04:32 I understood.
04:33 He is a newscaster with a closed channel.
04:35 Sir, this is a great idea for you too.
04:39 Yes. - I don't want to buy you.
04:40 I have it.
04:41 Mr. Arun, the problem is that they have never
04:43 done a business worth 2 rupees.
04:44 You are a businessman.
04:45 You invest.
04:46 Sir, 90 percent of the investment will be ours.
04:48 Only 10 percent will be yours.
04:49 Profit 50-50.
04:50 Let's do this.
04:51 First, tell me which industry you want.
04:53 Metal. - Let's do one thing.
04:55 I will invest the money.
04:56 Okay, sir. - And I will take 80 percent shares.
04:58 Take it.
04:59 How many shares is he talking about?
05:01 20 percent.
05:02 20.. Oh, that's okay.
05:03 Oh.. - Why are you lying?
05:05 Sir, in Scotland, 80 is equal to 20.
05:07 You are weird.
05:08 And because I am not bringing the investment from anywhere else.
05:10 I am bringing it from myself.
05:11 Otherwise, if I had to bring an investor
05:13 I will take the commission for bringing the investor.
05:15 Okay. - Okay?
05:16 Okay. It's done.
05:17 Okay. Apart from that,
05:19 because I will be using the infrastructure here
05:21 I will be the administrator here.
05:23 Okay. - I will take the CEO's salary.
05:25 Okay. - Then you will be sitting outside the factory.
05:27 Ma'am, we have an investment plan for you.
05:31 What is it? What is the business?
05:32 We will give you 10 cranes.
05:34 I heard about this girl that she fell off from a crane.
05:37 Yes. - And then she nearly died.
05:39 Yes. - So how is she alive then?
05:41 No.. She didn't die.
05:42 Oh.. - She was fine.
05:43 She fell from a crane from a very high place.
05:45 What? - And she got down and washed her clothes.
05:47 And she said, 'What nonsense?'
05:48 Someone said, 'Scotland.'
05:51 Yes, she said that.
05:53 But what will I get out of this business?
05:56 You will get all the rent from her.
05:59 She is giving you 80 percent profit.
06:01 Oh.. - Mr. Chaudhary Sarwar is from Scotland.
06:05 Yes. - Absolutely. Who brought him?
06:06 Who brought him?
06:07 What? - You brought Mr. Chaudhary Sarwar?
06:11 He is saying, can you sponsor him an England visa?
06:14 England visa.. I can sponsor him a spousal visa
06:17 if he is interested.
06:18 He is saying that he will sponsor not only you
06:21 but also your wife and kids.
06:22 I request you. I don't want a visa from there.
06:25 Nowadays, everyone is trying to leave Pakistan.
06:28 Because I belong to Chakwal.
06:29 So in the village, it is said that
06:31 you should reach there in the happiness of your friend
06:32 or not. You should reach there in grief.
06:34 Yes. - Yes. - Absolutely.
06:35 So we used to go out of Pakistan.
06:38 And I am shocked every year.
06:39 I used to go every year.
06:41 But since this year, the situation is like that of Pakistan.
06:44 Now, I have decided not to go.
06:48 Because this is the time when I will be with Pakistan.
06:51 Yes.
06:52 Tell me the truth. Have you run out of money?
06:57 Ms. Salim.. - Why were all these people
06:59 clapping for you? Are you famous?
07:01 Well, I think so. But I am not sure about it.
07:05 Do you know me?
07:06 I stalked you on Instagram.
07:08 I stopped you on Instagram.
07:10 I stalked you on Instagram. - Okay.
07:12 Sir, these are non-serious people.
07:14 Mr. Salim, I think you are a very nice person.
07:17 Who? - I am transferring you
07:19 $5 million as a turban.
07:21 $5 million? Are you transferring it to Mr. Salim?
07:23 Sir, tell me your account number.
07:24 Great Bank. - Great Bank.
07:26 Tell me your account number.
07:27 Should I tell you the end four? - Yes, tell me.
07:29 Sir, 40 and 50. - 50.
07:31 Sir, what is your PIN? - What?
07:34 PIN code. - What?
07:34 Sir, I have to send $5 million.
07:36 I can't come without a PIN.
07:37 He is asking for a PIN. I said, I don't know.
07:39 I don't have anyone in my family.
07:40 Mr. Salim, don't give him a PIN.
07:43 Don't give it to anyone. - No, no.
07:44 He is sitting face to face. $5 million.
07:46 Sir, it is possible to do business with someone.
07:48 Sir, this thing.. I knew right away
07:50 that he is a nice person.
07:51 16 and 15. - 16 and 15.
07:53 He is a nice person. - Sir, absolutely right.
07:55 Sir, I have initiated the transaction.
07:57 It will be transferred to your account in 15 minutes.
07:59 In fact, we are such big fans of yours.
08:03 And we have brought gifts for you from Scotland.
08:05 What have you brought from Scotland?
08:06 Sir, laptops, headphones..
08:09 Really? - These things have nothing to do with Scotland.
08:11 Sir, there is so much money..
08:13 Okay, you tell me. Where do you live in Scotland?
08:15 He is asking where you live in Scotland.
08:16 Where I live is Chowri Sarwar's..
08:19 In Glasgow. - In Glasgow.
08:20 Do you live there?
08:22 What? - What?
08:24 I mean..
08:25 Our Chowri Sarwar..
08:28 His governor in Lahore..
08:31 Yes, he was the member of the parliament.
08:32 Parliament. - Do you know him?
08:34 Yes, I work in his shop.
08:37 Do you work at Chowri Sarwar's shop?
08:39 Yes, I went to do a play.
08:40 I worked in his shop for two days.
08:42 Did you transfer us the money?
08:46 Yes. - Money will be transferred in a while.
08:48 Okay, where are the things you brought for us?
08:50 Sir, they are in the car.
08:51 We will go and get them in a minute.
08:53 You people don't have to go anywhere.
08:54 You people have left.
08:55 These are our gifts. - These are our gifts.
08:57 Let's.. Sorry, go and get the car.
08:59 It's the gift. - Is the work done?
09:01 Yes, it's done.
09:02 Sir.. - What?
09:04 I said, 'Investment done'. I said, 'Done'.
09:05 Okay. - Come..
09:07 Hurry up..
09:09 She is sitting in the car. She didn't ask us to hurry up.
09:11 Why did she ask us to hurry up?
09:12 She must have learnt it.
09:13 We have to return the rickshaw.
09:14 He says some of our sentences.
09:16 Yes, he does.
09:17 I saw on the internet..
09:18 I mean, he is a black Englishman.
09:20 But he sings all the songs in Punjabi.
09:23 "Look, Jairab is.."
09:25 Okay, Salim, check if the money has come in the account.
09:29 Check the money.
09:30 I think there is something wrong.
09:33 All my money is missing.
09:35 Oh! - Oh, my God!
09:37 No. - No.
09:38 He has deducted Rs. 37.
09:40 Ladies and gentlemen, there is a small break.
09:46 We will have fun after the break.
09:48 I used to go to buy groceries for Rs. 20,000-25,000.
09:51 Now, I have to spend more than Rs. 50,000.
09:53 You are still spending less.
09:54 I have groceries worth Rs. 100,000.
09:56 I don't want to buy from you.
09:57 You can buy from the parlour.
09:59 Salim, I am telling you.
10:01 I have to spend Rs. 50,000.
10:02 (audience laughing)