100-Year-Old Tortoise Runs Away For Sex
Touche, a 100-year-old tortoise, left his home through an open gate and walked 6 1/2 miles before being found. He was discovered attempting to mount a drain pipe.
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00 100 years old and living with a woman half his age.
00:03 What a scandal.
00:04 (dramatic music)
00:07 Touche the tortoise ran away from his home
00:11 in Fresno, California.
00:12 Now, this isn't your average tortoise on the run story.
00:16 Those happen all the time.
00:17 But this tortoise is over 100 years old
00:20 and was reunited with his owner, Nancy Knauss,
00:23 who he's been living with for the past 50 years.
00:26 - But, she's so, what's its name?
00:29 - Touche.
00:30 - Nancy says the tortoise escaped
00:35 after the gardeners left the gate open.
00:38 Sure, Nancy, the gardeners did it.
00:40 Touche was found six and a half miles away
00:42 after attempting to mount a domed drain pipe cover.
00:46 Mount, get it.
00:47 So, to me, Nancy, message here is pretty clear.
00:52 Touche needs to get laid, son.
00:54 This tortoise walked for 10 days
00:56 just to try to bang a drain pipe.
00:58 All right, so what do you guys think
00:59 about this heartfelt or dick-felt story?
01:02 Drewski says, "LOL, a lost tortoise
01:05 "was found banging a dome-shaped object.
01:08 "Only in Fresno."
01:09 Rosa Ortiz Torres writes, "Is it me
01:11 "or did she struggle to say his name?
01:13 "It seemed like she made it up."
01:15 Touche.
01:16 For more trends like these, go to whatstrending.com.