Chris Rock on Adam Sandler - 2023 Mark Twain Prize
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FunTranscript
00:00 I felt, all right?
00:01 (audience laughing)
00:04 Just me and you, Paul.
00:08 Just me and you, babe.
00:11 All right, so I met Sandler.
00:16 Here's the weird thing.
00:18 I went to school in the '70s.
00:20 I was 1972, I was bus to school, right?
00:23 And I was like the only black kid in my school.
00:27 I was only, me and two other black girls.
00:28 It was just us in Brooklyn.
00:31 It wasn't Selma.
00:34 Wasn't Selma, but it was like Boston.
00:39 It's like Boston, right?
00:44 Now, how many times do you think a kid
00:47 asked me to hang out at his house?
00:49 Once.
00:52 Once in like 16 years.
00:54 David Moskowitz.
00:57 The Jews, nice people.
00:59 Nice people.
01:01 So I met Sandler at the comic strip.
01:08 Here's the thing about the comic strip.
01:10 I started before Sandler.
01:12 And it takes about two years to get a weekend spot.
01:17 So I used to stack chairs and mop floors
01:23 and I'd do my little spots.
01:26 And at very late, and it took forever,
01:29 took me two years to get a weekend spot at the comic strip.
01:34 One year, I'm gone for about 10 days.
01:40 Eddie Murphy saw me at the club, flew me to LA.
01:43 I'm gone for two weeks, right?
01:45 I come back on a Saturday night
01:47 and who do I see on stage?
01:50 Adam Sandler.
01:52 I'd never seen him before in my life.
01:55 And we're like kind of the same age
01:57 and he's on on a weekend.
01:58 And I'm like, what the (beep) is this guy?
02:01 (audience laughing)
02:02 That he gets a weekend spot so fast, right?
02:05 So I was supposed to hate him.
02:08 And I'm watching him and he does this joke
02:10 about a Wilt Chamberlain.
02:12 Wilt Chamberlain once scored a hundred points in a game.
02:15 And Sandler does this joke.
02:17 He goes, here's my impression
02:20 of the coach of the other team.
02:24 Who's got Wilt?
02:25 (audience laughing)
02:28 So I'm watching, it's like the funniest joke in the world.
02:35 I'm like, I'm laughing so hard.
02:38 And I was like, God damn it, this guy's good.
02:42 And right away, all that jealousy and hate and whatever,
02:46 it just like washed away.
02:48 It was just like, okay.
02:49 And he comes off stage.
02:52 We meet, it's first time we met.
02:54 Then he watches my set and I did okay.
02:58 And then the greatest thing in the world,
03:00 to the guy who no one wanted to play with.
03:04 Adam goes, hey, we're going over to my dorm.
03:06 You wanna hang?
03:07 And he's been letting me hang ever since.
03:11 And I love the guy 'cause he, you know, Jews.
03:15 Gotta, you know, gotta love it.
03:16 (audience laughing)
03:18 You gotta love it.
03:21 That's my guy.
03:22 That's, he's been my guy.
03:24 I've known this guy for 30 years.
03:27 And you know, your kids are here.
03:32 The Oscars are, you know, they're (beep) assholes.
03:35 (audience laughing)
03:37 And if they don't wanna give my man his props,
03:42 we will tonight.
03:43 Ladies and gentlemen, one of the greatest of all time,
03:47 Mr. Adam Sandler.
03:49 (audience cheering)
03:52 (audience applauding)
03:55 (audience cheering)
03:58 (audience cheering)
04:01 [BLANK_AUDIO]