Alf's Hit Talk Show | show | 2004 | Official Trailer
ALF's Hit Talk Show is an American cable television talk show that aired on TV Land in 2004 for seven episodes. The host | dHNfd0FPM0tqUWFvZDg
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00:00 [Music]
00:26 From the historic Sunset Boulevard in Hollywood, it's Al's Hit Talk Show.
00:32 [Music]
00:42 If that doesn't work, there's always the prenup.
00:44 I didn't have one. You know why?
00:46 What?
00:47 Because I didn't have one in my first marriage, it would have been right for me to ask somebody else if it worked.
00:49 How many times do you need to make the same mistake?
00:52 They've got CSI Miami, and then they took it and they've got CSI New York, right?
00:59 I figured out what CSI stands for. Copying Same Idea.
01:04 Exactly where it is you're from. That looks like my colon.
01:07 E-Miles. E-Miles.
01:10 E-Miles.
01:13 May I call you Vinny? I don't want to upset you.
01:16 But do we know each other well enough for you to call me Vinny?
01:18 Well, that's what I'm asking. You want me to call you something else?
01:21 Call me Vincent.
01:23 Come on, you can call me Vinny. Come on, let me shake my hand again.
01:26 Don't touch me.
01:28 [Laughter]
01:30 [Music]
01:33 Waterproofing your underwear can cut laundry bills in half and give you time for other important things.
01:41 [Laughter]
01:43 Oh, watch it. You okay? Be careful, this is cable. We don't have insurance.
01:47 [Laughter]
01:49 Your name is F.
01:50 No, Alf.
01:51 No, Alf.
01:52 Well, it depends on where you're from. That's a half-alf way of saying it.
01:56 [Laughter]
01:59 You were like slithering an ointment and they were shaving you and sleepwalking in your underwear.
02:04 And this is nice from a man from a cloth.
02:06 [Laughter]
02:07 Sounds like you should be wearing a cloth.
02:09 Yes, a loincloth.
02:11 A loincloth, yeah.
02:12 I would like to know, were you in a performance of Cats?
02:16 I was on stage with Cats, but I wasn't a performer. I thought it was a buffet.
02:21 [Laughter]
02:22 [Screams]
02:23 [Applause]
02:25 Listen, you know, we have something in common.
02:27 What's that?
02:28 Well, I have eaten cat.
02:30 [Laughter]
02:33 You are saying all the right things.
02:36 [Laughter]
02:37 They said that I had Leno's wit, Letterman's teeth, and Conan O'Brien's hair.
02:44 [Laughter]
02:47 Yes, yes, yes.
02:48 You with the bad teeth.
02:49 How do you maintain such a soft, luxurious coat?
02:52 Ah, one word, conditioner. I drink a bottle every day.
02:56 This is my first professional job. I wore less clothes than you do.
03:00 Well, I'm not wearing any pants right now.
03:02 [Laughter]
03:04 Shine on, shine on, harvest moon.
03:08 [Humming]
03:09 Up in the sky.
03:11 [Humming]
03:12 I have had no love since January, February, June, July, the Nixon administration.
03:22 Just in time. I found you just in time. Before you came, my time was running low.
03:33 Yeah.
03:34 Get him out.
03:35 I was lost. The losing dice were tossed. My bridges all were crossed. Nowhere to go.
03:47 I'm out. Thanks for coming. We'll see you next time.
03:51 [Music]
03:54 (music)
03:56 [BLANK_AUDIO]