• last year
Transcript
00:00 (phone ringing)
00:01 - Could the ugly, untalented gays
00:03 please report to the principal's office?
00:05 - Guess that's you guys.
00:07 (upbeat music)
00:08 - Tonight is our night.
00:09 - We're getting in the cooch.
00:10 - I'm gonna talk to Brittany.
00:11 You get the hat at Isabel.
00:12 - What would I say?
00:13 - Hey girl, how's your boyfriend?
00:15 - How's his penis?
00:16 ♪ Mirror, mirror on the wall ♪
00:18 - I'm gonna expel you both
00:19 for committing a crime against Jeff.
00:21 - Get out of the car.
00:22 - You can't tell me what to do!
00:23 - Get out of the freaking car!
00:25 (tires screeching)
00:29 - We were just practicing for our self-defense club.
00:32 - So it's like a fight club?
00:33 - Yes.
00:34 - Just stay in your lane
00:35 until you're munching Bieber at Wesleyan.
00:37 - Yes, sir.
00:38 - What's your plan here?
00:40 - Jeff is psychotic and they're picking
00:42 on the weak and defenseless.
00:44 - So?
00:45 - We teach a bunch of girls how to defend themselves.
00:46 They are grateful to us.
00:48 - Adrenaline is flowing.
00:49 Next thing you know,
00:50 Isabel and Brittany are kissing us on the mouth!
00:52 (fists thudding)
00:54 - You can be our club advisor.
00:55 - You know, my mom did say I need to pick up a hobby.
00:58 (upbeat music)
01:00 - Welcome to our fucking fight club.
01:02 - Let's get it popping in this motherfucker.
01:04 (upbeat music)
01:07 - Yes, queen!
01:11 - I want that trophy.
01:12 (upbeat music)
01:15 - To have a safe space like this,
01:18 it means a lot to people.
01:19 - I'm gonna finally reverse stalk my stalker.
01:22 - Yeah, I'll be able to kill my stepdad.
01:25 - Awesome.
01:26 (upbeat music)
01:27 - You seem so supportive of women,
01:28 especially the hot ones.
01:30 Man-made therapy.
01:31 (upbeat music)
01:33 - Are you cheating on me?
01:34 - No!
01:35 - I literally saw you yesterday.
01:36 - Shut up, nerd!
01:37 I fucked your mom!
01:39 (upbeat music)
01:42 - We are literally at the bottom.
01:44 We have nowhere to go but up.
01:45 (upbeat music)
01:48 - Your club is over.
01:50 (upbeat music)
01:51 - They deserve a shot at showing everybody
01:53 how fucking cool they are.
01:54 (upbeat music)
01:55 (man grunts)
01:56 - I'm gonna walk up to the football place.
01:57 (upbeat music)
01:59 - I want that trophy.
02:02 - You created a fight club to get some coochie.
02:04 - Yeah, I don't even know how to work that thing.
02:06 I know y'all ain't tickling the pearl.
02:08 - I just don't know if you're supposed to be talking to us
02:11 like that, just like as a teacher.
02:12 (dramatic music)