adorocinema
  • last year
Transcript
00:00 I love myself today, not like yesterday.
00:04 I'm cool, I'm cruel, I'm gonna be okay.
00:09 You serious?
00:13 Today is the day!
00:17 I'm back!
00:18 (laughing)
00:19 I'm Matty Matheson and welcome to Just a Dash.
00:24 This is a cooking show literally about nothing.
00:27 Today we will be making.
00:30 Sound guy coughing.
00:32 I was performing.
00:33 (coughing)
00:36 I'm just trapped in this kitchen
00:37 with all of these people trying to make me fail.
00:40 This whole show is just me waiting.
00:44 Do you think I overcooked it?
00:45 Fuck!
00:46 I'm the producer, I'm the director,
00:48 I'm the fucking key grip.
00:50 Good thing I'm such a good cook, aren't I?
00:52 Sweet, sweet cum sauce.
00:55 We can't make that a joke, right?
00:57 Like there's no way we can work that in, is there?
01:00 (laughing)
01:02 I'm trying to describe the sauce.
01:09 But it's cum, you saw it, it's cum.
01:11 Or maybe your cum doesn't look, I don't know.
01:13 Doesn't look like my cum.
01:15 It's not cummy.
01:16 I just came full circle, sauce isn't cummy, okay?
01:19 If there's Oscars for YouTube,
01:21 I don't know if we'd ever win for the food
01:23 'cause the food's always dog shit.
01:25 But you know what fucking rips?
01:27 Our set.
01:28 That's what I love about my show.
01:30 This is my mind.
01:33 Oh, you can tell when I've been shooting a long time
01:36 and I just don't care anymore.
01:38 I hate doing this.
01:39 You know?
01:40 I need to show you the reality of cooking shows is fun.
01:43 What the?
01:44 Wow!
01:45 But at the end of the day,
01:46 we're learning really how to fucking cook.
01:49 Everything I make is incredible.
01:51 Nothing but net, nothing but net!
01:54 'Cause I'm fucking number one!
01:56 (cat meows)
02:01 Love you!
02:05 This show's about me, about you,
02:07 it's about food, it's whose food?
02:09 I'm food.
02:09 Okay, bye!
02:10 So sick.
02:13 (upbeat music)