Dara O Briain’s award-winning show filmed at Dublin’s Vicar Street in 2022. Dara deals with missing body parts, a TV | dG1fdTl6c0pMcVhvLWs
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Short filmTranscript
00:00 During the year my feet began to feel quite warm
00:04 Fuck you, right
00:07 You don't know that that's not a thing. Don't you fucking laugh at me, right?
00:12 I had hot feet that might be something that could be the first stage of Huffin fluffers disease
00:17 You don't know to be laughing at me in ten years time. You could be queuing outside
00:21 W hit Smith to buy an autobiography. I had to write with my eyebrow because the only bit of me still moving
00:28 And when I do I will mention you what happened when I told people I'd hope and fluffer disease
00:32 Well Hammersmith laughed laughed in my face
00:34 I had hot feet and I booked an appointment with my GP and I sat one morning
00:39 Surrounded by sniffly pricks in the GP's waiting room. Good. That's not a thing. That'll be gone in a week
00:45 This is a fucking thing. This is a thing
00:47 And I went into the GP and he said what seems to be the problem. I said well my feet
00:51 Are quite warm
00:54 And he gave me this look of what have I done to deserve this
00:58 But he knows he has to give me ten minutes and there's nothing really at stake
01:03 Clearly, so he goes great. I got a bit of a break in the middle of my day
01:07 So he goes you tell me everything about your hot feet. You tell me how they feel in the morning
01:12 You tell me how they feel in the evening. You don't leave any details out. This is my listening face
01:16 I'm totally focused on you
01:18 I am totally about you and your hot feet
01:20 And I give him the full spiel about me hot feet, right and then at the end of it
01:24 He went well, I think we're going to have to send you to and there was a tangible pause while he tried to work out
01:31 Who the fuck am I gonna send this man to?
01:34 What field of medicine does this even come under?
01:38 And eventually he went ah a neurologist. I went no you've gone too high with a brain doctor
01:45 I've seen the reaction I got of you
01:46 I'm not going to a brain doctor into a room so with pictures of brains everywhere and a cat scan of a brain and an MRI
01:52 There's probably a bloody brain in a jar on the desk and so to go. Oh, you're very good at brains. How are you at feet?
01:57 But nonetheless he said I'm gonna write you a letter of referral
02:02 So I begin to rise out of my chair presuming this is the thing he does in his own time
02:06 But no with me still there. He picks up the dictaphone and goes
02:09 patient presented with
02:12 warm face
02:14 I'm still here. I'm in the room. Could you put a bit of peril in your voice?
02:21 Could you just act it up a bit for God's sake?
02:24 I went home to my wife who is herself a doctor and I said he
02:27 Humiliated me in that room and she takes duty of care very seriously and professional standards of patient interaction
02:34 And she thought this was fucking hilarious
02:36 And has continued to dictate this letter intermittently for the last six months
02:43 We'll just be out and she'll go patient is examining dessert menu
02:46 No now patient seems to be examining waitress patient should stick to the bonafide if he knows what's good for his health in the long run
02:55 (audience laughing)