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02:35 - Dear young leaders, congratulations
02:37 for achieving what you have, respectively.
02:41 I know that before me are servants of the country,
02:45 servants of God, entrepreneurs and skilled professionals,
02:50 artists and influencers, social justice advocates,
02:56 diligent friends and mentors,
02:59 and yes, young, loving parents.
03:04 One would wonder how you balance it all.
03:08 This reality gets more evident once you become a parent.
03:16 (speaking in foreign language)
03:20 There is perhaps no greater stake to your survival
03:31 and success than the lives that God allowed you
03:35 to bring to this world.
03:37 (speaking in foreign language)
03:39 Ladies and gentlemen, you asked me to have a conversation
03:43 with you on parenting today.
03:46 To put everything in context,
03:47 I wish to share two inspiring poems
03:51 that shed some lights on how complex raising children can be.
03:59 (speaking in foreign language)
04:03 There is no emotion compared to what you invoke,
04:16 no experience that comes near parenting you,
04:19 no journey I would rather take than by your side,
04:23 no adventure I would rather choose than to watch you grow.
04:28 You, my dear child, are my greatest teacher.
04:32 Through you, I learn how to love without control,
04:37 to care, take without possession.
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04:56 You may house their bodies but not their souls,
05:01 for their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow
05:04 which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
05:09 You are the bows from which your children
05:13 as living arrows are sent forth.
05:16 We are chases the mark upon the path of the infinite
05:22 and he bends you with his might
05:25 that his arrow may go swift and far.
05:29 Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness
05:34 for even as he loves the arrow that flies,
05:38 so he loves also the bow that is stable.
05:42 (speaking in foreign language)
05:47 So dear guests, I suspect that you'll never
05:54 really know the strength that gets you through juggling
05:59 all that is required of you.
06:01 You just do because you must.
06:05 But what I know for certain is that along the way
06:10 you will question your choices and with reason.
06:13 What if you had done things differently?
06:16 What if there were a mode d'emploi,
06:18 as we say that could guarantee that your children
06:22 will never know pain?
06:24 Sadly, dear guests, this scripted guide
06:27 does not exist as of yet.
06:29 We draw strength from each other's candid, honest,
06:33 and brave sharing of our own experiences,
06:37 navigating through parenting without a mode d'emploi.
06:42 But it starts with us, ladies and gentlemen,
06:47 at every point.
06:48 It starts with your relationship with the other soul
06:52 to which you owe your existence as a parent.
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07:01 It starts with your home and its capacity
07:09 to cover your children in the love they need
07:11 to know their worth as God's creations in his own image.
07:20 Once more, young leaders, an exact how to do it all
07:24 and to do it well can be elusive.
07:27 Adding to what you might learn
07:29 from the (speaking in foreign language)
07:32 you wish to read it, I wish to share a few lessons
07:36 that have proven their effectiveness.
07:39 First, you must not push your children.
07:44 Don't be the force looming behind them
07:48 because pushing them down the path you believe
07:50 they should pursue.
07:51 Instead, pull, don't push, pull.
07:56 Be that pulling force into the fate you desire for them
08:01 by achieving this fate yourself.
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08:08 Allow me to repeat myself.
08:11 If you want success for your children,
08:13 endeavor to be successful yourself.
08:17 Show them that how attractive what you desire
08:20 for them actually is.
08:22 If you want happiness for your children,
08:25 strive to be happy yourself.
08:28 Perhaps this might require that you take things off
08:33 from your plate, that you allow yourself
08:36 to the same gentleness with which you peer
08:40 upon your own bundles of joy.
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10:44 So as the saying goes, success is when your children
10:51 want to be with you when they are adults.
10:55 (speaking in foreign language)
11:00 But young parents, unfortunately it's not enough
11:09 to be pragmatic in your parental choices.
11:12 Be here, can only emphasize how receptive your children are
11:16 and how your emotions, your frustrations, and yes,
11:19 your passions can become their own.
11:23 (speaking in foreign language)
11:27 So how do we embody the energy you wish for them
11:29 to experience at every turn of their lives?
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11:38 We picture one moment, what could become
11:40 of our world's future.
11:43 Should you forsake your roles as parents?
11:46 For once, let us not focus on the single parents,
11:50 particularly the single mothers.
11:52 Instead, let's talk about the drastic damage
11:56 that absent fathers do on their homes and children.
12:01 Let's talk about where we would be as a world
12:05 if we all chose to abandon or simply avoid our homes.
12:10 What if women and men both decided that the bar,
12:16 the streets, others' homes were more worthy
12:20 of their presence and time than the children
12:24 who look to them for the guidance and love
12:27 they need to develop healthily?
12:29 What would this world look like if it were
12:34 only made of poisonous habits, depression,
12:38 low self-esteem, trauma, and other problems
12:42 linked in psychology to absent parents?
12:46 Today, we revoke such a world through prayer
12:52 and by following our national values and vote choices
12:55 while also acquiring enriching parenting knowledge.
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13:02 That we call the rule of three eights.
13:05 Maybe a good place to start.
13:07 Splitting every day into three parts.
13:09 Eight hours of sleep, eight hours of hard work,
13:15 and eight hours shared across friends, family,
13:20 faith, health, hygiene, and yes, hobbies.
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13:31 Priorities, of course, all this has to be done.
13:35 Those responsibility to ensure that this joy
13:38 does not bleed into strains for those you love.
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13:47 Dear guests, sin is a tricky concept to truly confront.
13:51 After all, they seem so human.
13:54 Pride, greed, lust, gluttony, sloth, envy, wrath.
13:59 Isn't it scary that arrogance, selfishness,
14:04 promiscuity, excess, laziness, jealousy, and fury
14:08 are the primary offerings of a practice
14:11 that has been normalized and abusing the drink?
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14:26 Have we deluded ourselves into thinking that to sin
14:33 casually and habitually is harmless
14:36 so as long as it's tolerated by those around us?
14:41 It's not.
14:44 As earlier stated, your children are sponges.
14:48 They absorb your commitment to virtue,
14:51 wellness, and hard work as much as they may absorb
14:55 indifference and carelessness.
14:58 The true nature of our choices
15:01 will show themselves on our children.
15:04 As a wise person said, a lie does not become the truth.
15:11 Wrong does not become right, and evil cannot become good
15:17 just because it's accepted by the majority.
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15:23 Esteemed guests, fathers of daughters,
15:27 or of sons that may one day have their own,
15:31 may you treat the women that gave you
15:36 the blessing of parenting with the respect,
15:40 with the consideration, and with the love
15:44 that you would want for those for whom you care most.
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15:52 Know that their offering is the greatest of all,
15:58 and nothing can rival with what they have chosen to give you.
16:03 But also, young men, I must ask you to stop worrying so much
16:08 because worry is a thief of joy.
16:14 Do not let uncertainty about how and what you will bring home
16:19 hinder you from providing in the first place.
16:23 Remember, your valued contributions are not just financial.
16:28 They are emotional, they are spiritual.
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16:36 And to our young, dear young female leaders,
16:41 please refuse a life of purely enduring.
16:48 Know your worth is not in your ability to tolerate.
16:53 Your biology and ability to bear life
16:56 is not a sentence to an eternal soul responsibility
17:01 to advance the lives you have created.
17:04 Also, men and women nurture solidarity among all
17:10 to create fair and reasonable benchmarks
17:14 of what should be accepted in a marriage
17:18 and what should be fiercely opposed by society as a whole.
17:23 To the young couples, we wish you nothing
17:28 but joy and longevity.
17:30 We wish that you forever find yourselves in each other
17:34 through vulnerability, and this will require letting go
17:39 and having faith in your marriage, faith in each other,
17:45 faith for what God has in store for your home.
17:49 (audience applauding)
17:54 As I end, I pray that in the future,
17:59 what you receive are filled cups
18:02 of nurtured and supported partners,
18:05 of inspired children who are taught the powers of love
18:09 from the heart of their home, their parents.
18:14 Rwanda Leaders Fellowship, your noble work
18:17 is a precious gift to us all.
18:20 Until the next time, may you remain touched,
18:24 inspired, and nourished by God's own light.
18:28 May God bless you all.
18:30 (audience applauding)
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