Vindication! For this list, we’ll be looking at the fiercest, most satisfying, and most iconic show tunes about characters getting even.
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00:00 ♪ There's a cowgirl everywhere that I'm into, man ♪
00:03 ♪ Since we've all met for a while, it's called Cowgirl's Revenge ♪
00:10 Welcome to Ms. Mojo, and today we're counting down our picks for the top 10 best Broadway revenge songs.
00:17 ♪ If you weren't, if you hadn't, if you didn't, if you weren't, if you hadn't, if you didn't ♪
00:21 ♪ Weren't, you have, you went, and you did, and so, goodbye ♪
00:26 For this list, we'll be looking at the fiercest, most satisfying, and most iconic show tunes about characters getting even.
00:33 Did these revenge anthems have you singing and plotting along? Tell us your faves in the comments.
00:39 Number 10. Worldburn - Mean Girls
00:43 ♪ I will grind you to a sand beneath my lute and heels ♪
00:54 Revenge seems to be on everyone's mind at this high school.
00:57 The Mean Girls musical literally has a song called "Revenge Party" in it.
01:02 ♪ It's a revenge party, a party that ends with somebody's head on a spike ♪
01:08 But its most destructive and barn-burning act of revenge belongs to Regina George.
01:13 In Worldburn, she decides to light the match on the precarious high school social structure she once had firmly pinned under her pink Louboutin.
01:21 ♪ Because you took me down, but you didn't finish me off ♪
01:31 She delights in her villainy as she spreads the secrets and insults she and her clique of baddies have inscribed in their fabled burn book.
01:38 Who doesn't love a good villain song? Especially when the villain is this fabulous.
01:44 ♪ I'm not so bad, you'd never wonder ♪
01:49 ♪ Mean, mean, mean ♪
01:57 Number 9. Rose's Turn - Gypsy
02:00 ♪ Some people got it and make it pay ♪
02:05 ♪ Some people can't even give it away ♪
02:09 ♪ This people's got it ♪
02:10 Mama Rose may be the stage mother from Hell, but she's the role every Broadway actress would love to play.
02:16 Her climactic number Rose's Turn is a big reason why.
02:20 The song finds Rose admitting that she pushed her own show business dreams on her children,
02:25 and is embittered to find she's ended up alone because of it.
02:29 ♪ All your life and what does it get you? ♪
02:31 ♪ Thanks a lot, out with the garbage ♪
02:34 ♪ They take vows and you're back to zero ♪
02:36 Instead of expressing regret, she can only see all that she sacrificed.
02:41 It's as much a battle cry as it is a breakdown,
02:44 and ultimately her determination to chase her own dreams rings hollow.
02:48 The best thing about the song might be that every performer can find a unique way to carry it out.
02:54 ♪ For me ♪
03:05 Number 8. Dance 10, Looks 3. A Chorus Line.
03:09 "I swiped my dance card, and on a scale of 1 to 10, they gave me for dance 10.
03:16 For looks, 3. Well, dance 10, looks 3."
03:25 The show finds a group of dancers fighting to get into the chorus line of a major Broadway show.
03:30 One dancer, Val, describes how her lack of certain physical attributes kept her from getting work,
03:35 despite her talent. Her solution was a series of cosmetic procedures, and it did just the trick.
03:41 ♪ Have it all done, honey, take my word ♪
03:47 ♪ Rabbit, cat, come on, see the wizard on Park and 73rd ♪
03:52 It might not work for other people, but Val seems to be doing just fine.
03:56 After all, she's found the secret to success in show business.
04:00 If you can't beat 'em, give 'em what they want. It's not exactly the empowering message
04:04 of loving yourself for who you are, but a chorus line isn't exactly the most empowering musical around.
04:10 ♪ Yes, cats and ass have changed my life ♪
04:23 7. Pirate Jenny - The Three-Penny Opera
04:26 First performed in the original German production, this Kurt Weil and Bertolt Brecht song made its
04:42 way to English via composer and librettist Mark Blitzstein. Pirate Jenny is the violent fantasy
04:48 of a working-class maid who imagines what might happen if pirates sailed into shore.
04:52 ♪ With its fifty guns firing at you from the quay ♪
05:02 Why, revenge, of course. She imagines in brutal and straightforward detail what it would feel
05:08 like to take her vengeance on those who exploit her. The song has been covered by the likes of
05:12 Nina Simone, Marianne Faithfull, Judy Collins, and the Dresden Dolls.
05:17 ♪ Asking me, kill them now or later ♪
05:21 However, its original performer, Lotte Lange, is said to have sung the definitive version.
05:26 ♪ The black freighter disappears out to sea ♪
05:38 ♪ And on it is me ♪
05:50 6. Your Obedient Servant - Hamilton
05:54 After years of avoiding controversy and towing the line of respectability,
06:10 Aaron Burr finds himself once again the object of Alexander Hamilton's scorn.
06:15 This time, though, Burr has had enough. The song sees the vice president surrendering to his baser
06:20 instincts and challenging his longtime rival to a duel that will have tragic consequences.
06:26 The fact that the song is told mostly in letters doesn't cheapen its impact.
06:30 ♪ Even if I said what you think I said ♪
06:32 ♪ You would need to cite a more specific grievance ♪
06:35 ♪ Here's an itemized list of thirty years of disagreements ♪
06:38 ♪ Sweet Jesus ♪
06:39 Hamilton doubles down on his insults, leaving the less witty and less savvy Burr
06:44 with no other way of defending his pride but violence.
06:47 ♪ Careful how you proceed, good man ♪
06:50 ♪ Intemperate indeed, good man ♪
06:52 ♪ Answer for the accusations I lay at your feet ♪
06:55 ♪ Oh, prepare to bleed, good man ♪
06:57 Knowing how it ends only makes it more thrilling to watch.
07:00 ♪ I have the honor to be your obedient servant ♪
07:05 ♪ A. Hamilton, A. Burr ♪
07:11 Number 5. So Much Better - Legally Blonde
07:14 ♪ Yes, that is my name in black and white ♪
07:18 ♪ Maybe I'm doing something right ♪
07:21 ♪ Well, I feel so much better than before ♪
07:26 A musical's first act closer should leave the audience clamoring for more,
07:30 but it's a wonder Elle Woods' victory over her ex-boyfriend doesn't burn the theater down
07:35 every night. So Much Better depicts the show's lovable and constantly underestimated law student,
07:40 landing her dream internship.
07:42 ♪ I've gone on to better things, better jobs and figurings ♪
07:46 ♪ I don't have the time to cry, I'm too busy loving my name ♪
07:49 ♪ Up on that list, part of a cruel ironic twist ♪
07:54 She takes the opportunity to rub it in her ex's face and celebrate her own independence.
07:59 But even as she takes jabs at him, the overarching feeling is hope for her future
08:04 and a new burst of confidence. Like the show it comes from,
08:07 it's sweet with a little spice and as hilarious as it is inspiring.
08:11 ♪ There before ♪
08:23 Number 4. Get Out and Stay Out - 9 to 5
08:27 ♪ You used me, abused me, you cheated and you lied ♪
08:33 ♪ So get out and stay out, I'm taking back my life ♪
08:44 The three leads of this workplace revenge musical comedy learn a lot over the course of the show.
08:50 Mainly they learn how to be independent working women who can hold down a job
08:54 and hold their sexist boss hostage in his home.
08:58 In this rousing penultimate number, Judy is able to tell the ex-husband who left her
09:02 how much better her life is without him.
09:05 ♪ Now that I'm unfettered and unbound ♪
09:11 ♪ Get out and stay out, I finally had enough ♪
09:17 Get Out and Stay Out is a departure from the show's more laugh-a-minute numbers.
09:21 It allows the least outspoken of the three leads to have a glorious moment of revelation.
09:26 ♪ My life ♪
09:39 Number 3. Could I Leave You - Follies
09:42 ♪ Sweetheart, lover, could I recover? ♪
09:47 ♪ Give up the joys I have known ♪
09:49 ♪ Not to fetch your pills again, every day at five ♪
09:54 Phyllis is really having a rough time in Follies.
09:57 The former chorus girl has swallowed so much of her own bitter resentment over the years
10:01 that when her husband asks for a divorce, she actually seems ambivalent.
10:05 ♪ Believe the lies, ill-concealed ♪
10:09 ♪ And the wounds never healed and the game's not worth winning ♪
10:12 ♪ Oh wait, I'm just beginning ♪
10:15 But as the song builds, she tears through a list of her gripes,
10:18 her compromises, and her innermost desires with biting sarcasm and devastating clarity.
10:24 ♪ Could I live through the pain on a terrace in Spain? ♪
10:28 ♪ Would it pass? It would pass ♪
10:30 ♪ Could I bury my rage with a boy half your age in the grass? ♪
10:36 ♪ Ooh, bet your ass ♪
10:38 The realization she comes to is that she may want out of their marriage even more than him,
10:43 yet she will stay.
10:44 ♪ I have to confess ♪
10:46 ♪ Could I leave you? ♪
10:50 ♪ Yes ♪
10:54 She's so elegant though that it makes feeling trapped in a marriage look almost unbearably chic.
11:00 ♪ I leave you ♪
11:02 ♪ Yes ♪
11:08 Number 2.
11:10 Cell Block Tango, Chicago
11:12 ♪ I bet you you would have done the same ♪
11:15 ♪ Ha! Six! ♪
11:16 ♪ Flesh! ♪
11:17 ♪ Uh-uh! ♪
11:17 ♪ Scissor-o! ♪
11:18 ♪ Bullshit! ♪
11:19 A less remorseful group of killers you'll never see.
11:22 Led by the cabaret singer and alleged murderer Velma Kelly,
11:25 the six merry murderesses of the Cook County Jail sing,
11:28 dance, and stage weirdly sexy recreations of their alleged crimes.
11:33 But as they keep telling us,
11:35 their, again, alleged victims really had it coming.
11:39 "It wasn't until later when I was washing the blood off my hands I even knew they were dead."
11:43 ♪ They had it coming ♪
11:46 Bob Fosse's timeless staging and Kander and Ebb's hilariously dark score
11:50 make this fun revenge song an all-time classic.
11:54 It remains an old standby for everyone,
11:56 from Broadway ensembles to high school theater departments.
12:00 Apparently, everyone loves a good justifiable homicide number.
12:03 ♪ They had it coming ♪
12:07 ♪ The only time to show the way ♪
12:11 ♪ I'm gonna finish, I'm gonna finish ♪
12:13 ♪ I'm gonna sing, I'm gonna sing ♪
12:14 ♪ I betcha you would have done the same ♪
12:17 Before we unveil our top pick, here are a few honorable mentions.
12:22 So Long, Dearie. Hello, Dolly.
12:24 Dolly tells Horace exactly where he can go.
12:26 ♪ 'Cause I'll be on top of the band singing that song that says, "You dog, I told you so!" ♪
12:32 ♪ So wave your little hand and whisper, "So long, dearie, dearie" ♪
12:37 ♪ Shoulda said, "So long, so long ago!" ♪
12:39 Witch's Rap, Into the Woods. Don't touch her greens.
12:43 ♪ Greens, greens, and nothing but greens ♪
12:46 ♪ Parsley, peppers, cabbages, and celery ♪
12:48 ♪ Asparagus, and watercress, and vinegars, and lettuce ♪
12:51 ♪ He said, "All right!" ♪
12:52 ♪ But it wasn't quite 'cause I caught him in the autumn in my garden one night ♪
12:56 Just You Wait, My Fair Lady.
12:59 Eliza imagines all the ways she could make Henry Higgins' life miserable.
13:03 ♪ Just you wait, Henry Higgins, just you wait ♪
13:06 ♪ You'll be sorry, but your tears'll be too light ♪
13:11 Revolting Children, Matilda.
13:13 The title really says it all.
13:15 ♪ Never again will we leave behind bonds ♪
13:17 ♪ Never again, and we know we cannot ♪
13:20 ♪ Revolting children living in revolting times ♪
13:23 ♪ We sing revolting songs, using revolting rhymes ♪
13:27 ♪ We'll be revolting children 'til our revolting's done ♪
13:31 All I Ask of You, Reprise, The Phantom of the Opera.
13:35 The Phantom doesn't take rejection well.
13:37 ♪ You will curse the day you did not choose ♪
13:46 ♪ Or let the Phantom pass through ♪
13:55 ♪
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14:17 Number 1. Epiphany, Sweeney Todd, The Demon Barber of Fleet Street.
14:21 ♪ There's a hole in the world like a great black pit ♪
14:23 ♪ And it's filled with people who are filled with shit ♪
14:25 ♪ And the vermin of the world inhabit it ♪
14:29 ♪ But not for long ♪
14:32 This thrilling and terrifying first act song finds the London barber hell-bent
14:37 on avenging the loss of his family.
14:39 His solution? Declaring war on the whole human race, good, bad, rich, and poor alike.
14:44 ♪ Because the lives of the wicked should be made brief ♪
14:47 ♪ For the rest of us, death will be a relief ♪
14:49 ♪ We all deserve to die ♪
14:54 As the pie maker, Mrs. Lovett, looks on in horror,
14:56 Sweeney wrestles with his grief and rage.
14:59 The music follows his lead, slowing and speeding up as his warring emotions fight for dominance.
15:04 ♪ You sir, to sir, welcome to the grave ♪
15:08 ♪ I will have vengeance ♪
15:11 ♪ I will have salvation ♪
15:18 Given the events of the rest of the play, it's safe to say the rage wins out.
15:22 Epiphany is a heart-stopping solo,
15:25 and it feels like we're watching the man surrender himself completely to his quest for vengeance.
15:30 ♪ But the work waits ♪
15:32 ♪ I'm alive at last ♪
15:36 ♪ And I'm full of joy ♪
15:45 Do you agree with our picks?
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15:55 ♪ ♪ ♪