Sword Art Online Abridged | show | 2013 | Official Featurette - video Dailymotion

A parody show based on the popular anime Sword Art Online. | dHNfRmtwcUlwMTNIbkE

Transcript

00:00 Have you ever been wrong about something?

00:02 Of course you have, you microcephalic adopate!

00:05 Why, you probably don't even realize I just called you a moron!

00:08 It's sad, really, but there is hope.

00:11 I'm Kirito, founder and CEO of the Kirito is Always Right Foundation.

00:15 Here at CARF, we strive to bring knowledge to a world that is so utterly devoid of it.

00:20 I also just realized how terrible that acronym sounds, and won't be using it again.

00:25 Every day, hopeless idiots go out into the world, driving drunk or using the word literally incorrectly,

00:31 without anyone to explain just how wrong they are.

00:34 Seriously, Greg, you can literally go die in a bonfire.

00:37 But enough about Greg and his crimes against language.

00:40 Did you know that over 99% of people are, in fact, idiots?

00:44 Terrifying, I know, but the good news is there is a cure.

00:48 The better news is there's a better cure!

00:51 You see, I am one of the select few who are completely immune to ignorant bullshit,

00:56 and it is my dream to spread my wisdom full-time.

00:59 A ray of light to cut through the darkness.

01:01 But the batteries for that light don't come cheap.

01:04 That's where you come in!

01:05 For a monthly donation of your choosing, you can ensure that there will always be at least one soldier in the fight

01:10 against stupidity's overwhelming hordes.

01:13 We may never be able to stop people from doing stupid shit,

01:16 but with your help, I will always be there to call them on it afterwards.

01:20 And really, isn't that what truly matters?

01:23 So please, donate to the Kirito is Always Right Foundation today,

01:27 and together, we can--

01:29 What the hell are you doing in here?!

01:32 Asuna?! I, um...

01:33 We have a raid in ten minutes!

01:36 I am not having another goddamn cheap car incident!

01:39 Look, Asuna, I just need, like, two minutes here.

01:41 Get your ass in gear, now!

01:44 Oh, that was so unnecessary!

01:46 Come on!

01:47 Wait, Asuna, listen--

01:48 Ow!

01:49 So, uh, are we done here?

01:55 K-Kirito?

01:57 He's not coming back.

02:02 [silence]

02:05 [BLANK_AUDIO]