Karen's Diner has arrived to Portsmouth. And our reporters got more than they bargained for
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NewsTranscript
00:00 *crowd cheers*
00:02 You *bleep* disgusting *bleep*
00:05 What's this?
00:07 You, come here!
00:09 Who else is it gonna be? You just got picked *bleep*
00:12 What's your name?
00:14 What went wrong?
00:16 Everything. Yeah, clearly.
00:18 How *bleep* is she getting away with this?
00:21 *music*
00:24 I'm a bit scared, I'm excited.
00:28 I wanna see how bad their customer service actually is
00:31 but all together I just can't wait.
00:33 *crowd noise*
00:35 There's quite a few people here.
00:37 There's four of us. Name?
00:39 Martine Kelly. *bleep*
00:41 *crowd noise*
00:43 *bleep*
00:45 *laughter*
00:47 Get out my way! Go stand there! Go, go, go!
00:50 *music*
00:53 Two burgers for table four.
00:55 Table four?
00:57 *music*
01:04 Faster than Benjamin Applegate.
01:06 *music*
01:18 *bleep*
01:20 *music*
01:22 Yeah, I was actually really nice in.
01:24 Yeah?
01:26 *crowd noise*
01:28 How are you?
01:30 You need to bring someone here and not tell them why.
01:33 *crowd noise*
01:39 How's the service been so far?
01:41 Disgraceful.
01:43 *laughter*
01:45 I really wouldn't recommend this restaurant.
01:47 I'm just trying to work up a note.
01:49 *laughter*
01:51 You're funny but you're not that funny for once.
01:53 *bleep*
01:55 *crowd noise*
02:16 It was fun!
02:18 Embarrassing.
02:19 But very fun.
02:21 Is it like your typical course of the night?
02:23 No, very different.
02:25 Very different.
02:27 Something we've never experienced.
02:29 Yay!
02:31 It's *bleep* trouble.
02:33 Very good.
02:35 Funny.
02:37 But we're really frightened of what they're going to say to us to be honest.
02:41 It's two equals four.
02:43 Do you want to keep pointing out *bleep* for yourself?
02:45 I was just saying it's good.
02:47 No you can't.
02:49 *laughter*
02:51 *crowd noise*
02:53 Please try me.
02:55 I feel like a new someone today.
02:57 Try me.
02:59 Who cares what you think.
03:01 Yeah it's good.
03:03 I like it.
03:05 A bit leery though.
03:07 Too leery.
03:09 No, leery.
03:11 *crowd noise*
03:25 Questions in the room?
03:27 How many legs does a cow have?
03:29 Four.
03:31 So can you stop wasting everyone's time and do it *bleep* quickly.
03:35 *laughter*
03:37 Did I force him to pick a cow?
03:39 No.
03:41 *bleep*
03:43 I bet you wish you took your 10,000 kilometres.
03:45 *laughter*
03:47 *crowd noise*
03:51 I've been married all this.
03:53 *crowd noise*
04:05 Look he's *bleep* sweating.
04:07 *bleep*
04:09 *bleep*
04:11 *bleep*
04:13 Did you just lift your leg and show a table of kids your *bleep* cobweb *bleep*
04:19 *laughter*
04:21 You're a hairdresser.
04:23 *bleep*
04:25 So my name's Paige. I run the events at Drift Southsea.
04:27 We've got Karen's Diner in today.
04:29 They're here to give you the worst day of your life.
04:31 The most crazy insights you can think of.
04:33 Definitely the queue along the street and people trying to come in to ask what's going on.
04:37 They've just been told to *bleep* which is what all the staff normally think.
04:41 Obviously we can't say.
04:43 *laughter*
04:45 I mean none of us really knew what to expect.
04:47 Even when they kind of arrived they were all really nice and smiley.
04:49 And then it was literally as soon as customers arrived it was like full Karen road.
04:53 So yeah.
04:55 Well I just wanted a beer. I kept saying can I have a beer.
04:57 I know you're going to say *bleep* but just please can I have a beer.
04:59 And needless to say I got to *bleep*
05:01 *laughter*
05:03 So how was the rest of it? How was the food? How was the atmosphere?
05:05 The food was awful. I just wanted some ketchup.
05:07 Turned out I had to walk all the way down to get my own.
05:09 But she did tell me it's not *bleep* though.
05:11 You've got to get your own.
05:13 It was very typical.
05:15 *laughter*
05:17 Does it live up to your expectations of what a typical Karen's Diner is about?
05:19 Well obviously you would come to this kind of establishment with no expectations.
05:23 Because you're only going to be let down one way or another.
05:25 *laughter*
05:27 I actually agree with that.
05:29 *laughter*
05:31 (laughing)
05:33 [BLANK_AUDIO]