Follows incompetent Greek-Cypriot lettings agent Stath, who works for the family business, Michael and Eagle. While Stat | dHNfS0JlZmFjdGFUemc
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00:00 [Crashing]
00:02 What are you doing?
00:04 Damn it!
00:06 Get it out!
00:08 Is that on me now? No, it's on my bed.
00:10 Get the pigeon off me!
00:12 I'm staff. Many happy returns. I'm staff.
00:14 A one, two, three, four, five.
00:16 Can I get you a drink?
00:18 Oh, yes.
00:20 I will have belly soda, please.
00:22 How much is that going to be?
00:24 4.75. I'll leave it.
00:26 Three boys in a car
00:28 and two of them are shit.
00:30 You've got nice
00:32 toilet paper in there, man.
00:34 One of my old offices is like wood.
00:36 You've been here like ten minutes and you've already taken a shit.
00:38 No, I did a wee.
00:40 Right, so why do you need the loo roll?
00:42 For my willy, to wipe it.
00:44 What?
00:46 To be clement with you, most of it's
00:48 not even burnt, it's just dirt
00:50 from where the fire burnt it.
00:52 And it's 5.20 a month, right?
00:54 No.
00:56 No, it's 8.30.
00:58 Bless you. Where do you get 5.20 from?
01:00 Bless you.
01:02 You've got a lovely big bumper, don't you?
01:04 Careful, you don't want to get ploughed into by a car.
01:06 You worked hard on getting that going, I reckon.
01:08 How long did it take?
01:10 Basically, yeah.
01:12 I don't work here anymore
01:14 because I got a job next door at Smedics.
01:16 No, you didn't.
01:18 Huh? I did, yeah.
01:20 Suck it.
01:22 Smedics? Shut up.
01:24 Doing what?
01:26 Not lettings? Yeah, cos that's actually
01:28 my job, thank you.
01:30 How are you going to do that? You don't know anything.
01:32 What is the difference between
01:34 furnished and unfurnished?
01:36 One is when
01:38 they've got chairs,
01:40 the other is when it's got tellies.
01:42 I always keep a bank seat in my car
01:44 so that when I'm showing these hipser pricks around...
01:46 Hippies, I hate hippies. I just put it on the wall.
01:48 They love it.
01:50 The Pope with a camera for a face.
01:52 The other Pope, so religion.
01:54 Stressed out life, stressed out times.
01:56 We're stressing in the morning
01:58 and we're stressing in the night.
02:00 Don't stress, baby, everything will be fine.
02:02 Let's go to the club and drink the wine.
02:04 Stress it.
02:06 # Girl in my bed
02:08 # I know you want to get away
02:16 # And baby, I'm not afraid
02:21 # I'm just tired of love. #
02:23 Carol.
02:30 Carol.
02:33 Car.
02:35 Car, babe.
02:39 Car.
02:41 Car, babe.
02:45 Carol.
02:49 Mm.
02:51 Mm.
02:53 What about last night?
02:55 Really good.
02:57 Oh, my God, my mouth is so dry.
02:59 I think I had a milkshake here.
03:01 Carol, I noticed that I put my T-shirt on the radiator
03:07 in the madness of it all last night.
03:09 Can you believe it?
03:11 Dad!
03:13 Dad!
03:15 Scott, sorry, I want to do a present for my dad.
03:17 Thank you.
03:19 # Long live the king and many years
03:23 # May he be great, white as a veil
03:27 # May he scatter all knowledge in the light
03:31 # And everyone be one light
03:36 # And everyone be one... #
03:39 What are you doing in the ER?
03:41 Piss off, Scottish idiot!
03:43 You wait out here, OK, so that we're staggered.
03:45 I don't want to see us going in together.
03:47 Look, last night, it was giggles, but for me, it's like,
03:50 there's work and then there's play, do you know what I mean?
03:53 I do know what you mean, yeah. OK.
03:55 So, yeah, you got it, chick.
03:57 # I'm all in my place tonight
04:00 # I got the red wine on ice
04:02 # And I'm going to treat you nice... #
04:05 Is that you getting out for work? Yeah.
04:07 What are you doing out here? Yeah, I had sex with Carol last night,
04:10 so I'm waiting out here because we're not keeping it in the workplace.
04:14 Shut up!
04:15 Why?
04:16 Just making sure there's no-one in the bathroom.
04:19 Oh, blimey, hell, there's a man in the bath, I can see his willy.
04:22 No, just joking, it's a lovely bath, there's no willies.
04:25 Oh, is it OK if I wear... I've got a football kit on underneath,
04:28 I hope that's not annoying. I've got an interagency football thing.
04:31 No, it's cool, man. I've just come from the gym, had a little sesh,
04:34 so we're both a bit sporty.
04:36 Ah! We ARE a bit sporty! Yeah!
04:39 In the middle of that, you went, "I had a little sesh, love."
04:43 Things like that. I always want to say things like that.
04:46 Taffy! Yeah? Ready for the match? Yes.
04:50 Seriously, that kit, you look like Cristiano Ronaldo.
04:53 Yeah, get ready, cos I'm going to make you both look like young fish
04:56 on the pitch tonight.
04:57 Last year, you were just chatting on the pitch in every game, mingling.
05:00 What, I'm not allowed to talk in the match?
05:02 I was just having a few chats, that's what football's all about, innit?
05:05 A chinwag. Who wears a chinwag when they're running?
05:07 Oh, shut off! It's a family business, OK?
05:09 Michael and Eagle, not Michael and Carol.
05:11 You seriously need to watch yourself,
05:13 because when I'm manager, I will fire you within seconds.
05:16 When I'm manager, I'll fire you within seconds.
05:19 Minutes. No, seconds.
05:21 Get in the garden and you're going to say to yourself,
05:28 "Oh, my Lord, I'm in the garden of Eden."
05:30 Can you not park this here, please? I'm doing viewings.
05:33 They'll think people with disgusting cars live here.
05:35 Don't walk toward me and say that!
05:37 Anyway, what's so nice about your red Smedics car,
05:40 red, red bloody wine?
05:42 # Happy birthday to you
05:45 # Happy birthday, dear, to you
05:48 # Happy birthday to you
05:52 # Happy birthday, dear, to you
05:55 # Thanks, Dad. # Staff?
05:57 Basically, I would be amazing at this job.
05:59 No, you wouldn't. She's lining the interview.
06:01 Sorry, I'm... BEEP!
06:03 Do you have a shirt up here, Mike? Oh! Shit!
06:07 Mike, I think that the pigeon just flew out of the loft.
06:10 Christ!
06:15 What are you doing?!
06:17 Damn it!
06:19 Get it out! Is it on me? Is that on me now?
06:21 No, it's on my bed. No, it's on me.
06:23 Get the pigeon off me! It's not on you.
06:25 Where is it?!
06:27 I'm going to get it with the...
06:29 Come back here, sir, young lad.
06:32 That is not going to do it. Oh!
06:35 Did that do it? Is it in?
06:37 No, it's not in.
06:39 I can't see it any more.
06:41 BEEP!
06:43 Crumbs! Ah! No, not any more!
06:45 Please, not any more.
06:47 Mike! What are you doing with the bag?
06:49 You need to be more calm or I'm not going to...
06:51 Crumbs!
06:53 Another telly!
07:03 Copy with me out the window, please.
07:06 Copy with me out the window, please.
07:09 We did it. Good job, man.
07:12 I'm going to call your office.
07:14 What office, shithead?
07:16 You did that.
07:19 Aren't they supposed to give us, like, a stick or something?
07:22 Yeah, that's what I thought.
07:24 One of them ones you push the water with.
07:26 Actually, yeah.
07:28 (♪♪♪)
07:31 (♪♪♪)
07:34 [BLANK_AUDIO]