TAMARA, 25, and Farhaan, 27, come from two very different backgrounds but have found love together. The couple first met through hockey, Tamara elaborated: "[We] were eventually put on the same adult hockey team. So we had each other on social media and we started messaging. And through messaging, we realised that we both actually had a crush on each other for quite a few years in secret." They held back because of their separate religions, (Tamara is Christian and Farhaan is Muslim) however, their feelings developed and the pair finally got together five years later. The couple got married in August 2021 and had two weddings - one Muslim, and one Western/Christian, along with multiple Pakistani wedding events to supplement the ceremonies. Day-to-day they support each other's faiths, "every Sunday I go to church with Tamara. I just sit there and listen to the sermon," Farhaan said. Every week Tamara joins her husband to go to Jummah - the Friday prayer at the mosque. She explained: "I don't participate in any form of prayer or worship there. I typically sit in the back and I listen." They are active on social media, and since sharing their story online they have received an intense level of backlash. Trolling comments include: "Imagine thinking getting married to a terrorist as a personality." "I hope you will be in hell." "You enjoy being oppressed. He'll show his true colours one day and you'll regret it all." Worried about convincing his parents, Farhaan initially researched the permissibility before telling them about Tamara. "My family didn't want me to marry a Christian. It's not something that's usually done in our community, so they don't really know about it and how it works," he said. "So when I really told my mom, she went into shock because I never talked about girls, so that in itself was news to her. And then when I told her that it was someone that wasn't a Muslim, she went into even more shock. She had a bunch of concerns." In this episode of Love Don't Judge, the unlikely couple sit down with Farhaan's mom to ask if she's come to finally accept their marriage.
Find out more about the couple here -
https://www.instagram.com/rubat0sis_official/
https://www.tiktok.com/@rubat0sis
Find out more about the couple here -
https://www.instagram.com/rubat0sis_official/
https://www.tiktok.com/@rubat0sis
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FunTranscript
00:00 This is Tamara.
00:02 She fell in love with Fahan.
00:05 The couple come from two very different religions.
00:09 My religion is Islam.
00:10 My religion is Protestant Christianity.
00:12 And after sharing their unconventional match online,
00:16 they received a lot of hateful comments.
00:18 Imagine thinking getting married to a d*** is a personality.
00:21 Mixed marriages are idiotic and insane.
00:24 There is no self-respect.
00:25 You enjoy being oppressed?
00:27 He'll show his true colours one day and you'll regret it all.
00:30 Worried about convincing his parents,
00:33 Fahan initially researched if this would be accepted in Islam.
00:37 My family didn't want me to marry a Christian.
00:39 It was shocking.
00:41 I was uncomfortable because it's two different religions.
00:46 How do you feel about the relationship now?
00:49 I'm Tamara.
00:53 And I'm Fahan.
00:54 And we have different religions.
00:57 My religion is Protestant Christianity.
00:59 My religion is Islam.
01:01 I'm originally from Pakistan.
01:03 My mum is from Hong Kong and my dad is from Canada.
01:06 Tamara and I met at a floor hockey league here in Richmond.
01:12 And I used to ref her brother's games I would see here every weekend.
01:16 Eventually we were put on the same co-ed adult hockey team.
01:20 We added each other on social media and we started messaging.
01:24 We realised that we both secretly had a crush on one another for quite a few years.
01:27 But we just had both never said anything due to cultural and religious differences.
01:31 I knew quite a bit about Christianity before.
01:35 I did research on religion in high school when I was going through my religious journey.
01:40 Islam is a huge, huge part of my life.
01:43 So that's part of the reason why it took me a couple of months to tell my parents about Tamara.
01:48 Because I spent those couple of months doing a lot of research.
01:52 I was reading a lot of books, talking to imams and shaykhs all across the country and across the world.
01:57 To get their insight and to make sure that this was something that was permissible in Islam.
02:02 And I wasn't breaking any rules.
02:04 So wearing the cross is really just a symbol of hope and reminds me of God's forgiveness and eternal life.
02:11 I unfortunately didn't have a lot of knowledge about Islam before Farhan.
02:15 When we first started talking I'm embarrassed to say I didn't even know what halal food was.
02:20 So I've learned a lot since then.
02:23 I haven't had to make a lot of lifestyle changes.
02:26 I had to learn how to cook halal which seemed kind of scary at first until I realized that it's not that complicated at all.
02:32 You just do the ingredients, yeah.
02:34 I bought some more clothing that is Islamically modest.
02:38 Every Sunday I go to church with Tamara.
02:40 So I just sit there, I listen to the sermon.
02:43 Every Friday I go to Jummah with Farhan which is Friday prayer at the mosque.
02:48 I don't participate in any form of prayer or worship there.
02:51 I typically sit in the back and I listen.
02:53 So we had a different wedding ceremony for each of our religions just because we have different beliefs regarding marriage and having a wedding ceremony.
03:02 So it's really important to honour both.
03:04 So the first one is a Muslim wedding ceremony and that's our Nikkah ceremony here.
03:10 And then we also had a Christian Western ceremony.
03:13 And in this one I wore a white dress.
03:16 I started making content about our relationship right after around the time that we got the film from our weddings.
03:23 Before Farhan and I got married we looked for representation online of similar types of relationships or marriages but we couldn't find a lot.
03:31 So we felt pretty alone.
03:33 So I always thought that it was actually important to post about our relationship.
03:38 There's actually a huge community of people who need the support and that way they don't feel so isolated.
03:44 We get a high variety of different types of comments.
03:47 Imagine thinking getting married to a ******* as a personality.
03:51 There are many people like you who say they are Christian and also betray the Christ.
03:55 I hope you will be in hell.
03:57 You don't marry a Muslim. You enjoy being oppressed. He'll show his true colours one day and you'll regret it all.
04:03 Mixed marriages are idiotic and insane. There is no self-respect.
04:07 People can get really creative.
04:09 It's funny. Yeah.
04:11 They're quite humorous to read.
04:14 I think the ones that talk about us going to hell or not being a real Muslim or a real Christian sometimes is a little bit disheartening.
04:21 Especially because they typically come from people of our own religion.
04:26 It's okay. It's expected. We knew we would get these types of comments.
04:30 Some positive comments we receive are from a lot of individuals who are in similar relationships as ours.
04:37 They tell us that representation really helps them not feel alone and just makes them feel supported.
04:43 Thank you for sharing your story. It inspires me a lot and gives me strength.
04:47 So happy to see other couples going through a similar journey and making it through all the hardships that come with interracial and interfaith relationships.
04:54 My family reacted, I guess, pretty neutrally.
05:00 They knew Farhan already before.
05:02 They had their concerns just about our different backgrounds and our different religions.
05:07 But overall, they were supportive with whatever choices I decided to make and who I marry.
05:12 So my family and friends were in shock when I told them about Tamera.
05:17 They had concerns about it logistically working and whether it was even permissible in our religion to marry someone that was not Muslim.
05:24 It's not really something that's usually done in our community.
05:27 So they didn't really know about it and how it works.
05:30 When I told my mom, she went into shock because I never talked about girls or anything like that.
05:36 So that in itself was news to her.
05:38 And then when I told her that it was with someone that wasn't Muslim, she went into even more shock.
05:44 She was like, it's not permissible.
05:47 You know, it's not going to work out.
05:49 She had a bunch of concerns.
05:51 It was a shock.
05:53 I was kind of uncomfortable.
05:56 It's two different religions, so it is hard to blend in together.
06:02 I had worries.
06:04 So Ma, how did you first feel when I told you about my relationship with Tamera?
06:08 Well, I didn't believe it for once.
06:11 And with the passage of time, you explained to me and you said everything is going to be fine.
06:17 Me and your dad went to some of the scholars just to find out what's going on and if they can explain it to us.
06:23 And they told us it's fine.
06:26 Shouldn't be any issue.
06:28 If you love her, and of course, that's what matters.
06:32 Because it's your life, so you have to live according to it.
06:36 So if you're okay with that, you're okay.
06:39 How did meeting Tamera help change your mind?
06:43 It was nice.
06:45 When I met her, she was kind of nervous.
06:47 And that's the thing that really liked me because she didn't know what I'm going to say or do.
06:56 So that's why she was kind of a bit nervous.
06:58 But the first look was amazing.
07:01 I saw her and I said, "She's the one."
07:03 So, yeah.
07:05 And I still love her.
07:07 She's a beautiful girl.
07:09 So I think she makes Farhan happy.
07:12 And they will be happy together.
07:14 Always and forever.
07:17 [laughs]
07:19 It was difficult to not be accepted by Farhan's mom
07:22 because even though it wasn't something that was personal about me,
07:26 because we'd never met each other, it was because I'm Christian.
07:30 And Christianity is such a core part of who I am.
07:34 It's not something that I was going to compromise or change.
07:36 So the situation did feel quite hopeless in the beginning.
07:40 But now she showers me in her love through all the clothing that she gets me.
07:46 So things can change.
07:48 To those that judge our relationship,
07:51 I would point them to a verse in the Quran that talks about how
07:54 judging someone else reflects poorly on you.
07:57 The act of judging someone else may even elevate their status in comparison.
08:02 So it's better to look inwardly than to judge other people.
08:06 [music fades out]
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08:18 [BLANK_AUDIO]