The Challenge
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Celebrity Gogglebox S05E07

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TV
Transcription
00:00 Are they knitted?
00:02 Yes, they are knitted.
00:03 You wear quite a lot of knitted, don't you?
00:06 I just find it, I quite like it.
00:08 It breathes better than you'd expect.
00:10 May I?
00:11 Yes.
00:13 Oh, yeah, actually.
00:14 Nice.
00:14 I bit that, didn't I?
00:15 I bit, yeah.
00:16 I know.
00:16 I like the shorts.
00:18 That's what I meant.
00:19 I can imagine you-- could you get in some--
00:22 Imagine me in them.
00:23 [LAUGHTER]
00:24 [MUSIC - THE KING, "WHO CAN STOP THE WORLD"]
00:27 Oh!
00:28 Oh, my god.
00:29 Yes!
00:30 Oh, this is perfect for you, cheese toastie.
00:32 Oh!
00:32 Oh!
00:33 Oh!
00:33 Oh!
00:34 Oh!
00:34 Oh, come on.
00:35 Don't be ridiculous.
00:36 Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:38 Ooh!
00:39 Oh!
00:39 Oh!
00:40 Oh, oh, don't look.
00:41 Lobster bondage.
00:43 Ah!
00:43 Ah!
00:44 Oh, my god, it's bad.
00:46 Ah!
00:46 Turn it off.
00:47 [LAUGHTER]
00:47 Turn it off.
00:48 Milk in a bolognese.
00:50 Oh, you dozy bugger.
00:51 Oh, dear.
00:52 You know, when I drink Italian wine, I see dead people.
00:55 In the week Sotti celebrated his 75th birthday,
00:59 we enjoyed lots of great telly.
01:03 We took a deep dive into a brand new Netflix documentary.
01:06 [SPEAKING ITALIAN]
01:13 We're, like, good at going to Morrisons together, aren't we?
01:17 Like, we just instantly know, don't we?
01:19 Like, you don't want to speak to the checkout girl, do you?
01:22 So I speak to her, and I'll load it,
01:24 and you just keep your head down, pack.
01:26 And then you carry it to the car,
01:28 and I put the trolley away.
01:29 That's what we're-- we've trained together
01:32 in a different way, haven't we?
01:34 Panky Panky was put on hold in Too Hot to Handle.
01:37 You're looking beautiful.
01:39 I'm loving the diamonds.
01:40 Really?
01:41 Yeah.
01:41 They match your earrings.
01:43 So much in common.
01:44 How do you know?
01:45 You've just met him, just because you're wearing diamonds.
01:47 And you're both-- they're allergic to clothes.
01:50 [LAUGHTER]
01:55 You wouldn't be wearing a scarf and a hat and a--
01:57 I would.
01:57 --coat on that boat with that.
01:59 I would.
02:00 And technology touched a nerve in Hollywood.
02:03 A deep fake of Bruce Willis in a Russian advert,
02:06 speaking Russian.
02:07 Mississippi.
02:09 I think the trouble I'd have if they had AI,
02:11 and they did an AI version of me,
02:13 is I'd actually be fearful that the AI would
02:15 be a better actress than me.
02:17 [LAUGHTER]
02:18 [MUSIC PLAYING]
02:21 In Wakefield--
02:27 How did you get on with Martin today?
02:29 At the Gardner Center?
02:30 Yeah.
02:31 I had a lovely time.
02:32 Did you?
02:33 And I bought quite a bit of stuff.
02:34 Have you?
02:35 Best friends Jane and Sue.
02:38 Is Martin a young, frivolous thing?
02:42 Well--
02:43 He's younger than us.
02:44 --what can I say?
02:44 Yeah, he's younger than us.
02:45 He's obviously fitter than us, because he can do it again.
02:47 Well, I've persuaded-- well, yeah, and he likes gardening.
02:50 I've persuaded him that it's good for him.
02:51 Yeah.
02:52 You know, mentally, physically.
02:53 Yeah.
02:54 I feel a lot better for it.
02:55 Maybe I should do it.
02:56 So will we.
02:57 We'll just sit watching him.
02:58 [LAUGHTER]
03:00 We'll be like the cook.
03:01 Oh, God, yeah.
03:01 Get your shirt off, Martin.
03:03 [LAUGHTER]
03:05 On Monday night, more brainiacs were
03:08 connecting the clues on BBC Two.
03:10 Yes.
03:11 It's back.
03:12 Quizzy Mondays is back.
03:14 Life is worth living.
03:15 You've got to have O levels, A levels, spirit levels--
03:20 [LAUGHTER]
03:21 --to play this bloody game.
03:22 Have you seen it?
03:23 [MUSIC PLAYING]
03:26 I'm middle class.
03:27 I'm middle class.
03:28 I go to Waitrose.
03:29 And I live in Richmond.
03:31 I like to sometimes go to Gail's and buy a coffee.
03:35 [MUSIC PLAYING]
03:39 I only connect on a sausage sandwich.
03:41 Not getting any better than that, is it?
03:43 No.
03:43 Whenever I get one answer right, I only connect.
03:45 I feel like joining Mensa.
03:48 Well, you did used to be, right?
03:49 Let's meet the teams.
03:51 Let?
03:51 United by a love of cribbage, they are the Cribbage's.
03:55 What is cribbage?
03:55 [LAUGHTER]
03:57 Did they just say cribs?
03:59 Did they just love the MTV show Cribs?
04:01 You are facing, on my left--
04:04 The Gunners.
04:06 United by their appreciation of Arsenal football club,
04:09 they are the Gunners.
04:10 Turn it off.
04:11 Turn it off.
04:13 I hope they lose.
04:14 And you may choose your own question.
04:15 Eye of Horus, please.
04:17 The eye of what?
04:18 You see, and there's a problem immediately.
04:20 Which one is that?
04:21 Which one is Eye of Horus?
04:23 These are going to be picture clues.
04:24 What do they have in common?
04:26 You do it.
04:26 I can't do pictures.
04:27 Here's the first.
04:29 It's a horseshoe.
04:30 Horseshoe.
04:31 Well done.
04:31 Good.
04:32 Do I get a point?
04:33 No.
04:34 OK.
04:34 Horseshoe.
04:35 OK, that's bad luck if it's upside down.
04:37 Next.
04:39 Pencil.
04:39 Pencil.
04:40 Horseshoe, pencil.
04:41 Pencil, horseshoe.
04:42 Pencil, lead.
04:43 Lead.
04:44 Eraser, horse.
04:46 Eraser, horse?
04:48 Just freewheeling ideas here.
04:50 Just spitballing.
04:51 Next.
04:53 Walrus.
04:54 Walrus.
04:55 Got it yet?
04:56 No, so next.
04:59 Oh, handlebar.
05:00 Well, it's a handlebar, moustache.
05:01 Horseshoe, moustache, pencil, moustache.
05:03 Moustache.
05:04 Moustache.
05:05 Moustache.
05:05 Moustache.
05:06 Thank you, moustache.
05:07 Types of moustache.
05:08 They are cuts of moustache.
05:11 Hey!
05:13 He's a moustache!
05:14 Yeah, brilliant.
05:15 Have you not seen this, have you?
05:17 No, of course I haven't, fucking, so I'm watching it now, are you?
05:20 What do these clues have in common?
05:21 Here's the first.
05:24 Poe in Kung Fu Panda 2.
05:26 Right.
05:27 That was a movie, Panda 2, wasn't it?
05:29 Next.
05:31 You ever heard of Chuckie Egg?
05:32 What's Chuckie Egg?
05:33 Eduardo, you're asking me.
05:34 Chuckie Egg is a game, isn't it?
05:36 Next.
05:38 What's that?
05:39 Goot bag.
05:40 Groat bags.
05:41 What was groat bags?
05:42 Groat bags was a witch.
05:42 Groat bags used to be in Emu's world.
05:45 Ah!
05:46 Yeah, next.
05:48 They all from...
05:50 Are they all...
05:52 Er...
05:54 LAUGHTER
05:55 Cutie.
05:56 Do they always die?
05:57 Are they things that eat birds?
05:59 Or chase birds?
06:00 Or fight birds?
06:01 Groat bags is an enemy of Emu,
06:03 and Wily Curtis is an enemy of Roadrunner,
06:05 so they're all enemies of birds.
06:07 Oh, brilliant.
06:08 Fictional birds.
06:08 Each of the people or creatures in this question
06:12 has an adversary that is a bird.
06:16 Oh!
06:17 Oh!
06:18 Yay!
06:19 Oh, fuck off!
06:20 Who's getting that, bro?
06:21 LAUGHTER
06:22 Oh, come on, man!
06:23 Lots of points in the air in round four,
06:24 the missing vowels round.
06:25 I love a bit of missing vowels.
06:27 Great.
06:28 Oh, you're good at the missing vowels round.
06:29 I can tell you that the first group of disguised clues
06:32 are all Abbasongs.
06:34 Abbasongs, right, we can do this.
06:35 Here we go.
06:37 Dancing queen.
06:39 Dancing queen.
06:40 Look at that, straight it in.
06:42 Er, Mamma Mia.
06:45 Do, do, do.
06:48 I do, I do, I do, I do, I do.
06:49 Five of them.
06:51 Yeah, I said five of them.
06:52 Nice.
06:53 Next category, green things.
06:55 Green things, Kermit.
06:57 Kermit the Frog!
06:58 He won!
06:59 Next category, two soups.
07:02 Two soups.
07:03 Oh, what is that?
07:04 Gazpacho.
07:06 And what?
07:07 And minestrone.
07:08 Well done, Sian.
07:09 Vichyssoise.
07:10 And, er...
07:11 Vichyssoise.
07:12 And...
07:13 Kalinskink.
07:14 Yes!
07:15 Broth and Mulligatoni.
07:16 No time to tell me broth and Mulligatoni.
07:17 No time to shout broth and Mulligatoni.
07:18 This ain't soup, man.
07:19 No, man, no tomato soup, no chicken soup, man.
07:20 I love missing vowels.
07:21 If all of them were missing vowels,
07:22 I'd be a bit more confident.
07:23 I'd be a bit more confident.
07:24 I'd be a bit more confident.
07:25 I'd be a bit more confident.
07:26 I'd be a bit more confident.
07:27 I'd be a bit more confident.
07:28 I'd be a bit more confident.
07:29 I'd be a bit more confident.
07:30 I'd be a bit more confident.
07:36 I'd be a bit more confident.
07:37 I'd be a bit more confident.
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07:39 I'd be a bit more confident.
07:40 I'd be a bit more confident.
07:41 I'd be a bit more confident.
07:42 I'd be a bit more confident.
07:43 I'd be a bit more confident.
07:44 I'd be a bit more confident.
07:45 I'd be a bit more confident.
07:46 I'd be a bit more confident.
07:47 I'd be a bit more confident.
07:48 I'd be a bit more confident.
07:49 I'd be a bit more confident.
07:50 I'd be a bit more confident.
07:51 I'd be a bit more confident.
07:52 I'd be a bit more confident.
07:53 I'd be a bit more confident.
07:54 I'd be a bit more confident.
07:55 I'd be a bit more confident.
07:56 I'd be a bit more confident.
07:57 I'd be a bit more confident.
07:58 I'd be a bit more confident.
07:59 I'd be a bit more confident.
08:00 I'd be a bit more confident.
08:01 I'd be a bit more confident.
08:02 I'd be a bit more confident.
08:03 I'd be a bit more confident.
08:04 I'd be a bit more confident.
08:05 I'd be a bit more confident.
08:06 I'd be a bit more confident.
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08:12 I'd be a bit more confident.
08:13 I'd be a bit more confident.
08:14 I'd be a bit more confident.
08:15 I'd be a bit more confident.
08:16 I'd be a bit more confident.
08:17 I'd be a bit more confident.
08:18 I'd be a bit more confident.
08:20 This week, things were heating up on Netflix
08:22 as it welcomed back a fresh batch of saucy new singletons.
08:26 Dunk, you're going to love this.
08:27 It's called Too Hot to Handle.
08:29 It's like a dating show, but it's with a difference.
08:31 This is the one show I watch on TV that I genuinely feel old watching now.
08:36 These super sexual hell raisers think they're sailing off
08:40 for a party tour of the Caribbean.
08:43 The whole thing had gone on like this show,
08:45 where it's like Love Island,
08:46 where they're all going to get off of each other.
08:48 But the deal is,
08:50 they're not actually allowed to do anything with anyone,
08:52 and every time they do, they lose money.
08:54 But in reality...
08:55 ..there's only one cone-shaped star.
09:01 So this is Lana.
09:02 Lana makes the rules and dictates what they can and can't do.
09:05 Lana's basically a cock-blocking robot.
09:07 I'm Louis, a semi-pro footballer.
09:12 Hello, Louis.
09:13 Oh, he's fit.
09:14 And I get the girls.
09:15 Shoots, he scores, you know what I mean?
09:18 He's a very pretty boy, isn't he?
09:20 Nice-looking, nice body. Yeah.
09:22 The thing is, as well, they pick people who are highly-sexed,
09:25 cos they know it's going to really frustrate them. Right.
09:28 Christine likes Louis, and she is literally a supermodel.
09:32 Hannah likes Louis.
09:33 Everyone wants a bit of Louis.
09:35 Oh, they're all staking their claim on who they want.
09:38 And she's a model as well. I'm the only one that's not a model.
09:41 But does she like Louis? That's what we're all waiting to find out.
09:44 I want Louis in my bed tonight.
09:46 I need to get in there first. Louis is on to a good thing, isn't he?
09:49 He is, isn't he? I've had three of them.
09:51 But aren't they beautiful? Gorgeous.
09:53 I've got three of the best-looking girls on the yacht
09:56 wanting to stay in a bed with me.
09:58 Going to be naughty. It's going to be naughty. Naughty.
10:00 This is before they find out what show they're on,
10:02 what the actual show is. OK.
10:04 It's time to introduce you to a new hot, sexy singer!
10:11 Oh, yes. It's going to be Lana. Come on.
10:14 Ruin everything, Lana.
10:16 SCREAMING
10:18 LAUGHTER
10:21 They're devastated.
10:23 Now they know they can't get with each other. Yes.
10:26 The bed situation.
10:28 I told three girls that they can all stay in a bed with me tonight.
10:32 So they all think that they're getting in bed with him. Oh, God.
10:36 After deciding Hannah would be the one to join him in bed that night,
10:40 Louis found himself alone with Christine.
10:43 Hey, hey.
10:44 How's your day? Oh!
10:48 She went like this, "Hey, hey."
10:50 LAUGHTER
10:52 "How's your day?"
10:54 Want to meet me at the beach in five minutes?
10:56 She is a woman on a mission.
10:59 Is he allowed to chuck the other one out of the bed and bring another one in?
11:03 Does what he likes. He's Louis. I'll see you there. Mm-hm.
11:06 Look at him! SCREAMING
11:08 LAUGHTER
11:10 His face was like... See? Yeah.
11:13 Oh, this is cute.
11:15 What are you saying? You look good.
11:17 There they are. No, what are you doing?
11:20 I'm with Hannah. Then stay with Hannah.
11:23 Don't touch her, don't look at her, don't think about her.
11:26 What's the tongue action? There's a lot of tongue action going on.
11:33 I'm like...
11:35 I like Hannah.
11:37 And I also like the other one.
11:39 And I like you.
11:43 Oh, oh! Oh, he's going to kiss her.
11:47 Are they allowed to kiss? No, can't kiss.
11:50 Fuck me, when are you going to get this show? They can't do nothing.
11:53 Won't you please set me free?
11:56 Oh!
11:58 Naughty boy! Oh, no!
12:00 Oh, it's like putty in her hands. I know.
12:05 Louis! Oh!
12:07 Every time they kiss, they'll be penalised.
12:09 Every rule break, Lana will punish them.
12:12 You can't do that and then, like, share a bed with the first one,
12:16 because you'll be thinking about...
12:18 He ain't thinking about nobody but himself.
12:20 I 100% want to be good.
12:24 So this is, he's back in bed with Hannah now. Right.
12:27 Do you want to break the rules with me?
12:31 Oh, Louis, you're going to absolutely fuck it again.
12:35 Oh! Oh, no, he's turning her down now!
12:39 He's having a good day, that lad. He certainly is.
12:41 Go on, Louis, fill your boots, love.
12:43 Rule break! Rule break!
12:47 Oh, my God, bro! Oh, my God.
12:49 What's wrong with this guy?
12:51 This is when Lana tells everyone who's been breaking the rules...
12:56 Oh, all right, yeah. ..and who with.
12:58 There have been further breaches...
13:00 ..of my rules.
13:02 Oh, my God! Oh, my days!
13:04 So it affects everyone, this, doesn't it?
13:08 Price funds for everyone.
13:10 Lana's going to snitch. Time to face the music, Louis.
13:15 Are you going to speak?
13:18 Or should I?
13:20 This is it. He's going to have to fess up.
13:22 Are you going to tell the class what you've done wrong?
13:25 Or do I have to do it for you? Yeah.
13:27 I kissed Hannah last night in bed.
13:29 Oh, no.
13:30 Oh, no.
13:32 Ooh!
13:34 He's fuming!
13:36 I just feel like it's wild that you kissed her after we kissed.
13:39 Oh, my gosh!
13:44 She went in!
13:46 He's going to get ostracised, isn't he?
13:48 So good.
13:50 These two kisses...
13:52 ..with two different girls...
13:54 Yeah, how much did that cost them?
13:56 ..$12,000.
13:59 Wow! No!
14:01 What, so each of those kisses was £6,000?
14:03 Yeah.
14:05 Imagine if they'd priced them differently.
14:07 If I'm honest with you, though,
14:10 I feel like my kisses are that expensive.
14:12 Yes, they are, babe. And yours, boo-boo.
14:15 Yes, they are.
14:17 In North London...
14:26 The week before going on holiday...
14:28 Yeah. ..is like an Olympics of appointments.
14:32 You're too dramatic. No, it's not.
14:34 You're too dramatic. Go on.
14:36 Nick and his niece Liv.
14:38 This family, my mum, oh...
14:41 "Well, I'm going away in two weeks and I've not packed."
14:44 Yeah, but she doesn't work. It takes an hour.
14:47 I do, and work's really busy.
14:49 It takes an hour to pack. No, it doesn't.
14:51 Yes, it does. No, it doesn't.
14:53 Just a few bits for each day.
14:55 Yeah, the actual packing, fine.
14:57 Don't come for me, cos I know you'll be trying on outfits this week.
15:01 I will not. Yes, you will. I will.
15:04 You'll be sending them to me whilst I'm at work.
15:07 Be like, "Do you like this?"
15:10 On Sunday, our favourite visa-based international dating show
15:14 was back on Discovery+.
15:16 It's so good.
15:18 This'll be your new favourite show.
15:21 One of my least favourite words, fiancé.
15:23 Fiancé.
15:25 When people say, "Oh, you know, you and your fiancé," I'm like...
15:28 I've had a few of them.
15:33 I've seen the rings.
15:35 So, there's people that I've met online that live abroad.
15:37 Yeah, never met in person.
15:39 And in 90 days, they're going to sort their papers,
15:42 get married and be together.
15:44 Ooh! Ooh, I see.
15:47 My name's Louise. I'm 39 years old.
15:50 What's she doing?
15:52 I'm taking pictures on social media for body positivity.
15:56 Yes, girl! Good for you, girl.
15:58 And when I'm not doing that, I'm a mem.
16:00 Hence the folding towels.
16:03 That's the international sign for mum.
16:06 I met Jose on social media.
16:08 Oh, here we go. Right, here we go.
16:10 I can't wait to see this.
16:12 Oh, wow! Is that the guy she's marrying?
16:17 Check Jose out.
16:21 LAUGHTER
16:23 Is that Jose? Oh, he makes music.
16:35 Oh, he's a rapper.
16:37 Ooh!
16:41 What? I love you, chicken.
16:43 And in his last couple of tracks, he's also put my nickname, Chicken.
16:49 # I love you, chicken. #
16:52 Aw! That's nice.
16:54 # I love you, chicken. #
16:57 Jose can't speak English.
17:01 Are they in a relationship?
17:03 Hold on, stop. No, no, no, no, no. Stop this, stop this.
17:06 What about her Spanish? Is that not...?
17:08 Yeah. You can't put it all on him. Exactly, yeah.
17:11 # I love you, polo. #
17:13 Pollo. That's right.
17:16 Me and Jose have had two failed visas.
17:19 Two failed visas?
17:20 So, you're a rapper from Colombia, you don't speak English,
17:23 and you're a body-positive model from Gloucester
17:25 and you don't speak Spanish.
17:27 It's a no this time.
17:29 A little bit later,
17:32 Louise had flown all the way to Colombia to meet her fiancé, Jose.
17:36 Oh, yes. Here we go.
17:40 Oh, this is the big mate.
17:45 Oh, here she is.
17:46 I don't want to meet someone for the first time in the airport.
17:49 Terrible lighting.
17:50 After that long flight, all dry.
17:52 No.
17:53 Oh. Oh, my God.
17:58 # I love you, chicken. #
18:03 LAUGHTER
18:05 I thought he'd go for the greatest hit.
18:07 Aw. Aw, that's kind of cute, man.
18:14 They do love each other, I think.
18:16 Everything I felt is true.
18:18 He is Jose. He is my Jose.
18:21 # I love you, chicken. #
18:24 No, they're there messing about.
18:28 Come on.
18:29 That's going to start pissing her off soon.
18:31 It's starting to piss me off.
18:33 He is cute.
18:34 And a few days later, the big day had finally arrived.
18:38 Just walked into the venue...
18:41 ..and I'm thinking, "Is this the right place?"
18:44 Oh, look at this.
18:45 It's just dawned on me, I'm getting married here.
18:50 Oh, God.
18:52 Maybe he's misunderstood and he's getting a driving licence.
18:56 It's all right.
19:01 LAUGHTER
19:03 Here we go. Gosh, this is the real thing. Oh, my gosh.
19:10 The purpose of living together...
19:12 Look at the woman at the desk.
19:14 The woman at the desk is looking at her like,
19:16 "Oh, I've seen so many of you before."
19:18 ..procreate and to aid each other.
19:21 To procreate and aid each other.
19:23 In fairness, if you'd have said, "Shall we procreate and live together
19:26 "in mutual official aid?"
19:28 I probably would have said yes.
19:30 That'd do it for you. That's the sort of language I like.
19:33 I guess this is the part where we say our vows
19:36 and I'm waiting for some romantic words from Jose.
19:39 Well, we know what he's going to say, don't we?
19:41 # I love you, chicken... #
19:43 Hey!
19:45 LAUGHTER
19:46 Of course.
19:48 # I love you, chicken... #
19:51 And that's it. We're now husband and wife.
19:54 Yes.
19:55 Love you.
19:57 Love you.
19:59 Oh, God. Oh, God.
20:01 What have we just watched?
20:04 Are you as bored of seeing his face, Manazir,
20:06 as if, "I love you, chicken"?
20:09 It's quite similar.
20:11 In West London...
20:16 I was in the bath the other day and I just could not...
20:19 I could not get myself out of the bath.
20:21 You were like a beached whale. I was. I was a beached whale.
20:24 I pulled out the plug.
20:25 ..Giles and his good friend Susie.
20:27 And every time I tried to move, I slipped along the bath
20:30 and I began calling out to my wife. Yes.
20:33 OK, who's in the other room. Perfect.
20:35 When she goes to bed, because of my snoring, she wears earplugs.
20:38 She has earplugs.
20:39 So I was calling out to my wife, saying, "Please, help!"
20:42 I didn't want to make her too panicked, so I did a gentle,
20:45 "Help! Help! Anybody there?
20:47 "Nothing to worry about, but there's somebody there. Would you come?"
20:50 And I'm lying there. How long did it take?
20:52 It was quite frightening. I was certainly there for half an hour.
20:55 Giles! And it got better, because eventually...
20:58 It dried out. It dried out.
21:00 And then I was able to inch my way straight up.
21:02 And then... I mean, there's...
21:05 The tragedy of this is there's a huge mirror by the bath
21:08 and on the other side, so I was able to see this hideous, hideous sight.
21:13 Idio-repulsive, that's the word for that.
21:15 Yeah, it was. Idio-repulsive.
21:17 On Sunday night, there were more experts
21:19 trying to explain some funny goings-on.
21:22 I like things like this. I love things like this.
21:24 Cos it's mind-boggling, innit?
21:26 Yeah, boggle. Well, boggling.
21:28 Boggling, boggle. Yeah.
21:30 I like to look at things in black and white.
21:32 I mean, I know you, you don't even believe that men landed on the moon.
21:36 They didn't land on the moon! Of course they did!
21:38 No, they didn't. Of course they did!
21:40 They didn't.
21:41 The Bermuda Triangle, an area in the Atlantic so notorious
21:44 for swallowing up ships and planes that some call it the Sea of Doom.
21:48 No-one calls it that.
21:49 Bermuda Triangle gets no press, but when I was growing up in the '90s,
21:52 I was very worried about it.
21:54 I was, like, really worried about Bermuda Triangle.
21:57 For decades, experts have tried to explain the mysterious disappearances
22:00 and unexplained phenomena...
22:02 Phenomena. Phenomena.
22:04 # Boo-boo, doo-doo-doo. #
22:05 Although many theories have emerged over the years,
22:08 locals spin tales of something more legendary -
22:11 sea creatures they think may be responsible for some cases.
22:14 No, this...
22:15 HE LAUGHS
22:17 This looks cracking.
22:19 Oh, nicely done, Lolly, nicely done.
22:21 The proof starts now.
22:23 Does it?
22:24 HE LAUGHS
22:26 The proof is out there.
22:27 I hope their proof is deeply scientific.
22:30 I'm so sceptical about this.
22:31 Well, we'll find out, cos this will be conclusive.
22:33 The River Thames is no stranger to swimmers of all shapes and sizes.
22:37 The Thames?
22:38 This place people have the Bermuda Triangle,
22:40 what's that suddenly in the River Thames?
22:42 Yeah, what's that got to do with it?
22:43 In fact, King Henry III's pet polar bear...
22:46 Sorry, sorry, sorry, Henry III's pet polar bear...
22:50 I'm slightly concerned about their historical sources, here.
22:53 ..was known to use the river as his own personal hunting grounds
22:56 in the 11th century.
22:58 What?!
22:59 Henry III?
23:00 Henry III reigned from 1216 to 1272.
23:03 Any fool know that?
23:05 I think that might be made up.
23:07 You've lost me, guys, you've absolutely lost me.
23:09 Yeah. Carry on.
23:10 But now something else appears to be stalking these waters.
23:13 In the Thames.
23:14 I'm about to get really protective of the British.
23:16 The British, you mean?
23:17 Like, what are you talking about, bruv?
23:19 March 2016.
23:21 A passenger is enjoying a scenic ride in a cable car.
23:24 I've been on that. That's where we live.
23:26 Yeah!
23:27 When something in the water below catches his eye...
23:29 What is it?
23:30 What?
23:31 What are we looking at?
23:32 What?
23:33 Oh, what's that?
23:36 Something has breached the surface.
23:38 ..it appears to show a dark shape as it surfaces momentarily
23:42 and then dips back beneath the murky waters.
23:45 What is that?
23:46 That's why the Loch Ness Monster hasn't been spotted at Loch Ness for so long.
23:49 It's hanging out of the O2.
23:51 It's at the back of the O2.
23:53 For field researcher Ken Gerhard,
23:55 this might be proof of an impressive discovery.
23:57 Is it not just two bin bags?
23:59 Maybe, and a trolley.
24:00 I'm not believing none of this stuff.
24:02 I believe it, bro.
24:03 In the River Thames, bro.
24:05 Look, bro, look!
24:06 The video naturally went viral,
24:08 with people comparing the creature to the Loch Ness Monster.
24:11 There you are.
24:12 They're trying to say that this monster has gone through Tottenham Hill.
24:15 That's what they're saying!
24:17 Gerhard notes that all famous sea monsters
24:19 seem to share some common traits.
24:21 The common trait is...
24:22 ..they're not real.
24:23 Could they also share a common ancestor?
24:25 No.
24:26 This programme's not based on anything at all, is it?
24:28 It's fantastic.
24:29 All right, here we go, the analysis.
24:34 Some people have speculated that this could be a submarine.
24:37 Oh.
24:38 Dr Conger.
24:39 Proper doctor.
24:40 This doesn't look like a submarine to me
24:42 because we don't see anything like a periscope.
24:45 Oh. Yeah.
24:47 The periscope might be dead.
24:49 Sometimes it's happened.
24:50 You're not going to have humps on a submarine, it'd be straight.
24:53 Might be a new make.
24:54 They're done.
24:55 If I had to guess, this looks something like a whale.
24:58 Yes? OK.
24:59 That's believable.
25:00 I loved when there was a whale in the Thames.
25:02 Not for the whale, because I thought, "It don't want to be in the Thames."
25:05 But I thought it really brought everyone together.
25:07 Everyone really cared about that whale, didn't they? Yeah.
25:10 Everyone on Twitter was like, "How's the whale?"
25:12 Based on Dr Conger's analysis,
25:14 we're going to call this one an unidentified creature.
25:17 Oh, come on. Don't be ridiculous.
25:19 I, for one, am calling this just another reason
25:21 I'll never be taking a dip in an English river.
25:24 HE GASPS
25:25 No!
25:26 The whole programme there has basically built up
25:29 to a complete dissing of English rivers, and that's a bit harsh.
25:33 That's absolutely... That's terrible. I'm enraged.
25:35 I'm going to write a letter. Let's write a letter in green ink.
25:39 # Ooh, ooh, ooh... #
25:41 In London...
25:48 All right, so you've got Snog, Mary Avoid... Yeah.
25:51 ..Pamela Anderson, El MacPherson... Yeah. ..and Mum.
25:54 Martin and his son, Roman.
25:57 All right, I will...
25:59 ..er, Snog, Pamela Anderson...
26:02 Mmm.
26:03 ..Mary, El MacPherson and Avoid Mum... Why?
26:06 ..because I'll be in the shit.
26:08 LAUGHTER
26:10 On Friday, it was protests in Tinseltown
26:14 that made headline news on the BBC.
26:17 I'm not going to lie. What?
26:19 When I put the news on and you're not on, I turn it over.
26:22 Hey, hey, hey, there are other news providers other than me.
26:25 Yeah, and they're all nice and tin, yeah, but they're not my Charlie.
26:28 Aw, sweetheart.
26:29 Tonight at ten, Hollywood shuts down
26:32 as tens of thousands of actors go on strike.
26:35 That's it? What?
26:37 Power to the people!
26:39 I saw this and loads of actors walked out of a massive premiere
26:43 in Leicester Square. Really?
26:45 Yeah, right in the middle of the film, just walked out.
26:47 The walkout is partly driven by worries about the increasing use
26:50 of artificial intelligence in productions.
26:53 It's AI, you see? It's going to take over.
26:56 What, like robots writing scripts?
26:58 And replacing actors.
27:01 Oh, yeah, no. Weird. No, weird.
27:03 Can you stand in the way of technological advances?
27:06 They are. We're going to have to.
27:08 Our technology reporter James Clayton explains what's at stake.
27:12 Oh, look, it's Tom Cruise. What's he doing?
27:16 Well, that isn't Tom Cruise, though, is it?
27:18 This isn't Tom Cruise. It's a deepfake.
27:21 No. That's AI! That's AI.
27:24 A very good deepfake at that, made possible with AI.
27:27 It's not a good deepfake. It's 30 years younger than Tom Cruise.
27:31 He'd love to look like that.
27:33 I saw this on Twitter the other day. It's insane.
27:36 That's not him. They've created him on someone's body.
27:39 Artificial intelligence is changing the way Hollywood works
27:43 from de-aging actors like Harrison Ford...
27:45 De-aging?
27:47 What, he looks older than that?
27:49 OK, I'd go for a bit of de-aging, darling, but only in real life.
27:53 Could we get a de-balded Craig Wallace?
27:55 Could I turn up in the quarterfinal of Pro Mastership
27:58 and be the first man to win the early perm? Yes. I'd like that. Absolutely.
28:02 Acting isn't the only industry that AI is threatening.
28:06 Get used to more protests like this in the future.
28:09 As much as it's smart, there's a level of...
28:12 You can't create this in AI. Yeah.
28:16 This, what we have. Yeah, yeah.
28:18 You can't... AI! You can't be like me!
28:21 You don't know what I'm going to do next, AI.
28:24 AI would never have done that, bro.
28:26 My job can be done by AI.
28:28 All I've got to do is clone my voice... Stop talking.
28:31 ..and make an AI version of me, and then that's it.
28:36 I'm out of a job.
28:38 Sometimes you just have to go out there and do the patois on the news.
28:41 Yeah, that's true. Mix it up. That would be really difficult to get right.
28:44 At ten o'clock, pundit, I hear the news.
28:46 LAUGHTER
28:48 LAUGHTER
28:50 In Yorkshire... And I'm going to have this tequila.
29:00 ..the Richardsons.
29:02 Sorry, I haven't got any lime or salt.
29:04 Mmm.
29:09 Oh. Yummy.
29:12 Urgh! What was that?!
29:17 Tequila. But what type?
29:20 Cheap. Cheap tequila?
29:24 Oh, you're like... Come in a plastic bottle shaped like a cactus.
29:27 You're like an 18-to-30s holiday.
29:29 Got some jelly shots chilling in the fridge.
29:33 This week, Netflix took us on a breathtaking journey
29:38 beneath the waves into the extreme world of freediving.
29:42 What's the longest you can hold your breath on the water for?
29:45 Me? Ten seconds, bro.
29:47 I ain't trying to be under there.
29:49 I'm not a mermaid, bro. It's not my world.
29:52 Oh, they're in the Bahamas!
29:58 What?! How do you feel about death, then?
30:02 I think that's not a conversation you want to be having
30:04 on the way to do whatever they're doing.
30:06 She's going to go freediving, but she's just driving,
30:14 so, I mean, if I die, I die. She doesn't care. She's fearless.
30:17 These are people who, like, take a deep breath... Yeah.
30:20 ..and then go underwater for, like, five minutes, down really deep,
30:23 but without any apparatus. Oh, I do that, yeah.
30:27 You don't do that. Yeah. You swim like that.
30:30 Three, two, one.
30:32 Alessia Zucchini, Italy.
30:39 Four minutes. World record attempt.
30:42 Four minutes. World record attempt. Four minutes.
30:44 Oh, surely not. No, no, no, no. Four minutes.
30:47 You can't be... Why... Hang on a minute.
30:50 Horrible.
30:51 It blows my mind, this, man.
30:56 No, not for me.
30:57 I've got some friends that do it, and, yeah, like, go down a rope.
31:01 You've got friends that do that? Yeah.
31:03 Her heartbeat's slowing.
31:11 Oh, I'm struggling to see the enjoyment factor here.
31:15 No, it's not about enjoyment, darling, this is a challenge. OK.
31:18 What's that?!
31:21 Oh, is this to prove she's been down there?
31:23 But, like, surely, like, it's really hard to do that
31:30 if you've not got any oxygen.
31:32 You've got to not panic, haven't you? I'd be panicking like hell.
31:39 Come on, put her up now, man.
31:41 Oh, my God, is she going to make it? Oh, I think she's there.
31:46 Oh, no, no, no, no, no! Please, no!
31:51 What's going on there? Why has it got a red?
31:54 Oh, my goodness. Oh, she's collapsed.
31:59 She's gone. What are you doing?!
32:02 It's the maddest thing I've ever seen.
32:07 Oh, my God! Oh, no, what happened?
32:10 I don't like that at all. Right that, that close.
32:13 You see her face as well? Yeah. What a fucking idiot.
32:16 The deepest breath, oh, my God.
32:22 I don't know about breathing underwater,
32:24 I don't even like to see what's underwater itself.
32:26 I only go in the sea for a week.
32:28 In the documentary, we met Steve,
32:32 a safety diving expert who was also Alessia's partner.
32:36 Steve just fell in love with freediving,
32:39 and especially the Blue Hole.
32:41 You can tell it's a serious documentary
32:43 because I'm not making jokes about blue holes.
32:45 You literally walk from the beach into an abyss,
32:48 like there is this gaping hole in the coral reef,
32:51 which really, like, wants you to go down there.
32:54 Well, it doesn't, does it? No, it does to you, mate.
32:59 See, that's where we differ, I'd say.
33:01 And then there's this arch, like a chapel on the water.
33:04 That is stunning, isn't it? Really, really beautiful.
33:08 Unfortunately, it also has a bad reputation.
33:11 Bad reputation. Right, well, I'm not going anywhere near it, then.
33:14 This is the most dangerous dive site on Earth.
33:17 Not a chance we'd be getting in there. No.
33:19 It's thought to have claimed over 100 lives.
33:22 100 lives!
33:23 I mean, if that's not enough to tell you not to do it,
33:26 I don't know what is.
33:27 Later, we learned that Alessia had decided,
33:30 under the expert guidance of Steve, to dive the blue hole.
33:34 Steve really went through each detail
33:36 and everybody knew exactly what they were supposed to do.
33:39 Everybody knew the plan.
33:42 Alessia would dive 52 metres, pulling herself on the rope.
33:45 52 metres?
33:47 And then entering the arch, swim horizontally for 30 metres.
33:52 I don't like the feeling of this at all.
33:54 As she arrived on the other side of the arch,
33:57 the safety line should be there in the middle.
33:59 Steve would be there at the end of the line, waiting for her.
34:02 All right, so she's got to dive 50 metres down, then find the arch.
34:06 Steve's going to be waiting on the other side, then.
34:08 He's got to wait for her to do the 30 metres and do it.
34:11 That's the panic. And find his way.
34:13 Because that's under the 30 metres of cave.
34:15 So they had everything planned out. Right.
34:18 Five, four, three, two, one, zero.
34:24 SHE INHALES
34:26 It's not like a big... No, it's not, is it?
34:29 Just tell me what's happening. I will. She's gone under.
34:32 She's underwater, right? She's under.
34:34 We watched Alessia go down.
34:36 I'm feeling the rope, so I can tell when she reaches the bottom.
34:41 This is actual footage, isn't it? Yeah.
34:43 Oh, I don't like this already.
34:45 After we felt her let go of the rope,
34:47 we give an OK sign to tell the other safety divers
34:50 that she entered the arch.
34:52 So then she's on her own. Oh.
34:54 That should have triggered Steve to go down.
34:56 What do you mean, it should have triggered him to go down?
34:58 Why? Why didn't it?
35:00 I started to give the countdown to Steve.
35:02 He asked me for ten more seconds.
35:08 What? Why?
35:10 I just didn't really understand why, because, um...
35:13 So far, everything had been going according to plan.
35:15 So he won't be down there in time. She won't be able to find the rope.
35:20 So is this Steve going down? That's Steve going down.
35:23 20 seconds later than planned!
35:28 20 seconds is a long time. Yeah.
35:31 What? I can't read it.
35:35 She completed the arch ten seconds earlier.
35:38 So she went faster and he went slower,
35:40 so now there's 30 seconds difference between the pair of them.
35:43 That's mad. That's like an eternity for what they're doing. Yeah.
35:46 Alessia is coming out of the arch,
35:48 but Steve is not there.
35:50 She doesn't see the rope.
35:53 She's swimming the wrong direction.
35:56 She's going the wrong way. Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
35:59 She didn't realise that she was already out.
36:02 No! What?
36:04 She didn't know she'd come out of the rock,
36:06 so she's carrying on cos he's not there.
36:08 She's swum past the rope. Oh, my God.
36:11 This is going to end horribly wrong.
36:13 In one moment, Steve left the rope super quickly.
36:17 He's seen her. He's trying to get to her.
36:20 Look at all the energy he's using to get to her.
36:23 What's happened? She's alive! Alessia's survived!
36:28 But no Steve. Oh, God.
36:30 She saw Steve in front of her.
36:34 And he brought her up to the surface.
36:42 There we are. There we are. There we are.
36:44 So they did meet up.
36:46 But then what happened?
36:49 Steve's face was in the water and I started screaming on her,
36:53 like, "Turn him face up, turn him face up."
36:55 His face down in the water. Oh, shit! Oh, my God.
36:59 I didn't realise that she had blacked out.
37:02 He's blacked out. No, she's blacked out.
37:04 Oh, no.
37:05 She must have died. She must have died.
37:11 That's just awful.
37:14 He did save her.
37:16 You can see it in the last photo.
37:18 He lost his life to save hers.
37:21 Oh, God.
37:23 Is that them?
37:24 That's him pushing her up.
37:26 That's the last photo of them together.
37:29 Oh, my God.
37:31 That is so powerful.
37:38 I don't understand why you would do that.
37:40 It's just thrilling it.
37:42 There you go. Thanks.
37:43 It's got aloe vera in it, so it'll be soft for you.
37:46 Oh, dear.
37:49 Oh, no.
37:53 In Hertfordshire...
38:10 Am I still invited to your wedding?
38:12 Yes. You promised you'd sing.
38:14 What bit do you want me to sing?
38:16 The first dance of Walking Down the Isle of Wight.
38:18 Have you picked any songs yet? No.
38:20 You have no idea? No.
38:22 Scott and his good friend Sam.
38:24 How about a bit of, um...
38:26 First dance, I'm thinking, by the way.
38:29 # I do the time with a smile on my face
38:33 # Thinking of her in that leather and lace
38:36 # She bangs, she bangs
38:38 # Whiskey bottle, whiskey... #
38:40 No, no, no. Think about it.
38:42 # Oh, it never looked so fine... #
38:44 You don't like that one? No.
38:46 You don't want "she bangs"? No, I don't.
38:48 # I'm not a girl... #
38:51 Oh, this is it.
38:53 Oh, hang on.
38:54 # I'm not a girl... #
38:56 Britney.
38:58 # Not yet a woman... #
39:02 This one? Can I have that?
39:05 Bit weird, but, yeah.
39:06 This week, there was a chilling film
39:08 that wiped the grin off our faces on Paramount+.
39:11 This is a good one, you know? Is it?
39:13 Yeah, yeah. Smile.
39:14 Now, look, it's a horror, and I know you don't like horrors.
39:17 I don't. But it's all fiction, love.
39:19 It's not true. I'm going to be up all night. I know.
39:22 SHE SCREAMS
39:25 What did you do that for?!
39:27 What did you do that for?!
39:30 That's what this film is.
39:31 If you didn't like that, you're not going to like this film.
39:34 In the film, we saw psychiatrist Dr Rose Cotter
39:38 treating a trouble-looking soul called Laura.
39:41 Take a breath and you can just tell me what's going on.
39:45 She don't look well, does she? She don't.
39:49 She looks terrified. She looks like she's seen a ghost.
39:53 Stop it.
39:54 I'm seeing something. Oh?
39:56 I'm seeing something. What?
39:58 I don't know what she's seeing.
40:00 What is it you're seeing?
40:02 It looks like people.
40:04 Something's frightening her, isn't it? It's frightening me.
40:07 Do you think she's been possessed or something?
40:09 What?
40:10 What happens when you do see it?
40:12 Do you mind if I hold on? No, it's fine.
40:18 It's smiling at me. Oh!
40:22 Oh, no, no, no, no.
40:23 Oh, no, we're not going to see this smile, are we?
40:25 I really want to see this smile. Oh, my God.
40:27 It told me that today...
40:29 Today's the... Today's the day that I'm...
40:32 I'm going to... Come on!
40:34 Going to what? You're going to what? Today's the day you're going to what?
40:37 She's got a hint of somebody who's not going to make the rest of the film.
40:41 It's OK.
40:42 Look at me.
40:44 Mm-mm. Don't.
40:46 Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, my God.
40:48 SHE SCREAMS
40:54 SHE SCREAMS
40:55 Oh, my God!
40:58 What is going on?
40:59 It's OK.
41:00 SHE SCREAMS
41:01 It's just us. There's nobody else here.
41:03 SHE SCREAMS
41:04 Who's behind her? Who's behind her?
41:07 SHE SCREAMS
41:08 I don't know what she's seeing, but I don't want to see it. No.
41:13 SHE SCREAMS
41:14 Get her out, get her out!
41:17 Call the... Like, I don't know, call someone.
41:20 Don't turn your back on her.
41:25 Don't turn your back on her. Anything could happen.
41:27 I have a patient emergency in Evel too. I need staff here. Now.
41:30 Turn it out! Turn it out!
41:33 Look what's happening. Stop looking at the wall.
41:35 She's, like, this close to the wall.
41:37 Why would you be there on the phone?
41:39 Oh, she's gone. Where's she gone?
41:49 I don't know. What's happening?
41:51 The vase. The vase is broken.
41:56 SHE GASPS
41:57 Oh, shit! Oh, my gosh!
41:59 Low it, low it, low it, low it!
42:02 That's why it's called Smile. Oh, fap that.
42:04 I don't like the look of that. No, it's not right.
42:11 That was the vase you pulled! I know.
42:13 Oh, no, no!
42:19 She's got something in her hand. Oh, no.
42:21 Oh, is it a shard of vase?
42:23 Oh, my... What are you doing that for?
42:25 Don't do that.
42:27 Oh! Oh, no, she injured herself! Oh, no.
42:32 Oh! Oh!
42:35 Oh, shit, man!
42:37 So it's in her name. So she starts seeing things.
42:50 I reckon. When the smile sees you and you see it, you're done.
42:54 All right.
42:55 OK. If you insist.
42:59 This is the beginning!
43:02 Shall we watch something about cake?
43:04 She's back at work. All smiles.
43:11 I'm not sure she should be back at work so soon. No.
43:18 Oh! Uh-oh. Who's that?
43:21 Oh, my God! Why is that guy smiling?
43:26 Oh, my God! There's another smiler. Smiler.
43:29 Hey, Carl. Oh, it's only Carl.
43:33 Was Carl like that last time she saw him?
43:36 How are you feeling today?
43:38 LAUGHTER
43:42 Pretty, pretty good.
43:46 Pretty, pretty good.
43:48 I wanted to be on... I would want to be on the auditions for this show.
43:52 I'm here to read for Carl. OK, whenever you're ready.
43:55 You're great. Got the part.
43:58 Carl. Oh, does she not recognise that smile?
44:04 Is she not thinking, "Hang on, there's a running theme here"?
44:07 Carl.
44:08 Hey, Carl, say something, bruv!
44:13 Is he locked in?
44:14 She's going to die. Oh.
44:16 Everybody dies. Carl, look at me.
44:18 You're going to die! You're going to die!
44:21 You're going to die! You're going to die!
44:24 You're going to die!
44:26 Well, technically, we all are.
44:28 Yes, OK, so we're all going to die.
44:30 Carl, this patient is 51/50 and needs to be restrained!
44:33 Come on, security. Surely they would have heard that.
44:36 Wait, was he stood up shouting at her or was he laying on the bed?
44:41 Carl's just having a bloody nap.
44:43 So, did that actually happen or is she now hallucinating?
44:46 I don't know. I don't know.
44:48 It pretends to be someone that I know.
44:50 Sometimes it's a random stranger, sometimes...
44:52 What's she listening to? Sometimes it looks like my grandfather.
44:55 The girl that killed herself? Yeah, yeah.
44:57 She's listening back to the audio. Right.
44:59 That's not doing her any good, is it, listening to that?
45:02 Well, she's trying to find out what's going on, isn't she?
45:05 Well, I suppose so.
45:06 Laura?
45:07 Uh-uh.
45:10 What's she heard?
45:12 Laura?
45:13 Did she hear something?
45:17 She's heard something. She keeps playing it back.
45:19 Laura?
45:22 That is... Oh!
45:28 That was an out-and-out breath.
45:30 Oh, don't turn it up more.
45:35 Laura?
45:41 Oh, I don't like this.
45:43 SCREAMING
45:49 Shit, a brick!
45:57 Crying out loud.
45:59 Do you want to watch a horror film with me again?
46:06 Why am I watching this with you?
46:08 Oh, God.
46:11 SHE LAUGHS
46:13 SCREAMING
46:15 You all right there, Paul? Or are you locked in as well?
46:18 Can't wait to see your wedding pictures.
46:20 I'm going to be stood there.
46:22 That's what I'm going to do at your wedding, in the van.
46:25 Oh!
46:26 Follow a young Tudor's relentless path to power in Becoming Elizabeth.
46:35 Stream the series so far now and watch the next episode live
46:38 at 9.15pm here on Channel 4.
46:40 And a woman on the run from her tech billionaire husband
46:43 finds she just can't get him out of her head.
46:45 All episodes of Made For Love are available to stream now.
46:48 Next up, it's The Last Leg.
46:50 # You're perfect, perfect world... #
46:55 BANG
46:56 (dramatic music)