Almost You
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
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00:01:00 >> No, it's not a matter of that.
00:01:12 I've been trying to get through all, all day, but the circuits are busy.
00:01:15 >> Yeah.
00:01:16 >> So I'll just, I'll try to call you before the end of the day.
00:01:18 >> Right.
00:01:19 >> Sure, bye bye.
00:01:20 >> Bye.
00:01:21 >> Hi.
00:01:22 I'm picking up two tickets for me and my husband, Boyer.
00:01:26 They're paid for.
00:01:27 >> Let me check.
00:01:28 >> Yes.
00:01:29 [MUSIC]
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00:01:49 >> Your wife on line two.
00:01:58 >> Hi, how are you?
00:01:59 >> I'm here with a travel agent.
00:02:00 You never sent the check?
00:02:02 >> I must have sent it.
00:02:04 I sent it.
00:02:04 How could I not have sent the check?
00:02:06 >> Did you or didn't you?
00:02:08 >> Well, I thought I sent it.
00:02:10 >> What is it with you lately?
00:02:12 I don't get it.
00:02:13 >> What's the big deal?
00:02:14 I thought I sent it.
00:02:16 I'm sorry, I forgot.
00:02:17 >> I'm not gonna let you sabotage this.
00:02:20 That is the idea, isn't it?
00:02:22 >> No, not at all.
00:02:22 I, I really look forward to spending two weeks in California with your family.
00:02:27 I'm sorry, that didn't come out right.
00:02:28 >> Oh, come on, sweetie, it'll be great.
00:02:31 We need to relax together.
00:02:32 We'll lie in the sun, go swimming.
00:02:35 You wanna go, don't you?
00:02:37 If you don't wanna go, you know, you don't have to.
00:02:39 >> I don't?
00:02:40 >> I can't believe you are telling me this now.
00:02:43 Great timing.
00:02:45 >> You're really being unreasonable.
00:02:47 >> What?
00:02:48 I am being unreasonable?
00:02:50 You wanna see unreasonable?
00:02:51 [MUSIC]
00:03:00 >> Your wife on two.
00:03:02 >> Why are you telling me this now, the day before we're going?
00:03:05 >> All I'm saying is, you wanna go, I don't.
00:03:09 I'll just ruin it for you.
00:03:12 You'll be with your friends and family anyway.
00:03:14 >> Wait a second.
00:03:15 Is this boy's code for the moment you tell me you wanna get a divorce?
00:03:18 >> Absolutely not.
00:03:19 No, wrong.
00:03:21 >> You wanna see other people.
00:03:22 >> That's not it at all.
00:03:24 >> Well, what?
00:03:24 It's gotta be something.
00:03:25 >> I just need some time.
00:03:29 >> That does it.
00:03:29 You are gonna go because you promised me that you would go, so pack your bag.
00:03:33 The only reason we wouldn't go now is if I don't wanna go, and I wanna go.
00:03:37 I need a vacation.
00:03:38 >> I need some time too.
00:03:39 >> See you tonight.
00:03:42 [BLANK_AUDIO]
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00:04:02 [BLANK_AUDIO]
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00:06:17 >> Good evening and welcome.
00:06:31 And I bet you're thinking that this is not a very good evening for
00:06:35 viewing the stars.
00:06:36 But you're wrong, and I'm sure that with a little confidence,
00:06:38 it's going to clear up very soon.
00:06:40 And what I'd like to show you here is what you would be seeing if it were clear,
00:06:45 which it isn't, but if it were, you'd see winter stars.
00:06:48 Now, the winter stars are the best display of stars the entire year round.
00:06:52 And just to the south there, you see the south?
00:06:55 There are three stars in a row, and that's Orion.
00:06:58 That's the belt in Orion.
00:07:00 And then there's the star there, that's Betelgeuse, and that's the red star.
00:07:03 >> Hi. >> That's the shoulder.
00:07:04 >> Hi.
00:07:05 >> And then you have Rigel, which shows you-
00:07:07 >> It's not very clear.
00:07:08 Do you think we're gonna be able to see anything?
00:07:11 >> I don't think so.
00:07:12 Inside of that entire complex, there's a thing called the nebula.
00:07:17 Now, the nebula is a very interesting thing, and
00:07:20 I'll tell you more about that later.
00:07:22 [SOUND]
00:07:23 >> Great.
00:07:24 >> Okay, it's raining.
00:07:25 [SOUND]
00:07:27 >> Well, this is ridiculous.
00:07:30 I'm going.
00:07:31 [SOUND]
00:07:34 >> You do like to have a drink.
00:07:35 [SOUND]
00:07:37 >> My name's Susan.
00:07:39 >> Alex.
00:07:39 >> Hi.
00:07:40 >> Sure.
00:07:42 >> [LAUGH]
00:07:52 >> Okay.
00:07:52 >> Okay what?
00:07:55 >> [LAUGH]
00:07:56 [MUSIC]
00:08:06,
00:08:16 [MUSIC]
00:08:34 >> Shit.
00:08:36 >> What was that?
00:08:38 >> Nothing.
00:08:41 I dropped something.
00:08:42 [SOUND]
00:08:45 >> What am I looking for?
00:08:47 >> It's a ring.
00:08:49 >> What does it look like?
00:08:51 >> Brown, gold.
00:08:56 It's a, it's a-
00:08:59 >> I found it.
00:09:02 It's a wedding ring.
00:09:04 >> Yeah.
00:09:06 >> You're married.
00:09:08 >> Not exactly.
00:09:10 >> Separated?
00:09:11 Divorced?
00:09:12 >> In a way.
00:09:13 >> In a way?
00:09:15 >> Well, I didn't want to tell you this, but my wife, you see,
00:09:19 she had an accident, and she's- >> God, Alex, I'm sorry.
00:09:27 God, it must have been awful for you.
00:09:29 >> She's not dead.
00:09:31 >> She's not?
00:09:32 >> No.
00:09:33 >> Where is she?
00:09:34 >> She's in the hospital.
00:09:37 >> My God.
00:09:38 >> It's nothing serious.
00:09:39 She dislocated her hip.
00:09:40 She'll be back in a few days.
00:09:42 Well, I was thinking, maybe we should.
00:09:47 [MUSIC]
00:09:53 >> Sorry, are you all right?
00:09:55 I didn't mean to do that.
00:09:59 [MUSIC]
00:10:09 [MUSIC]
00:10:19 [MUSIC]
00:10:29 >> I'm home.
00:10:46 >> What are you doing here?
00:10:49 >> I live here, remember?
00:10:51 >> I know that.
00:10:52 I know, but I mean, your hip and your back,
00:10:57 aren't you supposed to still be in the hospital?
00:10:58 >> Yeah, I decided to blow that pop stand.
00:11:02 >> Well, you could have told me that yesterday.
00:11:04 [BLANK_AUDIO]
00:11:14 >> Is that yours?
00:11:22 >> Uh-huh.
00:11:23 >> God.
00:11:24 >> What's wrong with you?
00:11:27 >> Nothing.
00:11:29 [BLANK_AUDIO]
00:11:34 There was nothing I was doing at the hospital at this point that I couldn't do
00:11:38 at home.
00:11:39 So I figured- >> What about your physical therapy and
00:11:42 all that?
00:11:43 >> They're sending a nurse, okay?
00:11:46 [BLANK_AUDIO]
00:11:50 Let's start this over again.
00:11:53 Nicer with feeling.
00:11:55 [MUSIC]
00:12:03 Okay, now here's how it goes.
00:12:07 I say, hi honey, I'm home.
00:12:09 And you say, gosh, it's good to see you.
00:12:12 I missed you.
00:12:15 And I say, I've been in traction for three weeks, and I am horny.
00:12:20 And you say, great.
00:12:23 See, I always liked gimpy girls, but I was really hoping for an amputee.
00:12:30 [MUSIC]
00:12:34 >> Ow!
00:12:35 >> What?
00:12:36 >> I'm sorry, it's my left leg.
00:12:38 It's okay, let's try it again, wait.
00:12:41 [MUSIC]
00:12:51 >> Ow!
00:12:57 >> Hey, all right, when's this nurse coming?
00:13:01 I think we need her.
00:13:03 >> Don't remind me.
00:13:06 >> Straight ahead.
00:13:07 [MUSIC]
00:13:17 >> Mrs. Boyer.
00:13:18 [MUSIC]
00:13:35 >> Hello?
00:13:37 [MUSIC]
00:13:44 [KNOCKING]
00:13:45 >> Mrs. Boyer?
00:13:46 [MUSIC]
00:13:50 >> Mrs. Boyer?
00:13:53 Hi, Mrs. Boyer.
00:13:55 I'm Lisa Willoughby from the Lazenby Agency.
00:13:58 The doorman said I could let myself in.
00:14:03 My name's Erica.
00:14:06 God, you're so pretty.
00:14:09 >> Thank you.
00:14:12 >> No, I mean, all the nurses at the hospital are old battle axes.
00:14:18 How old are you?
00:14:20 >> 26.
00:14:26 I need to ask you some questions before we start.
00:14:29 >> Right down to business, huh?
00:14:35 >> I noticed all your pictures when I came in.
00:14:39 >> That's my husband Alex's parents.
00:14:42 They're both dead.
00:14:43 They died in a car crash when he was a kid.
00:14:46 >> That's terrible.
00:14:48 >> And that's Alex when he was little.
00:14:51 I guess he's about seven.
00:14:53 >> It's the same apartment.
00:14:55 >> Uh-huh.
00:14:56 He grew up here.
00:14:57 And then he inherited it.
00:14:59 That's why I call it the nursery.
00:15:02 >> What do you do?
00:15:04 Do you have a job?
00:15:05 >> I'm a freelance illustrator.
00:15:07 I did that.
00:15:09 >> That's great.
00:15:12 >> God, look, his hair's so much longer.
00:15:14 Amazing.
00:15:15 Much cuter.
00:15:17 >> What does your husband do?
00:15:19 >> He works in the family business.
00:15:21 His uncles run it now.
00:15:23 He lives with us in Greece on our honeymoon.
00:15:32 >> Morning.
00:15:33 >> Mr. Boyer.
00:15:34 Mr. Boyer!
00:15:37 >> Alex!
00:15:39 >> English, Ralphie, speak English.
00:15:41 >> That is English!
00:15:43 >> Hey, you two, remember, this is America.
00:15:47 English, Ralphie, come in the mouth.
00:15:50 >> What trouble?
00:15:51 You said trouble?
00:15:52 >> Yeah, you got trouble.
00:15:54 You got lunch with your uncles upstairs today.
00:15:57 Now, your uncle Stewart told me to tell you.
00:16:00 You know that's serious.
00:16:03 >> What's the problem?
00:16:05 We do all the work down here.
00:16:07 We do it our own way, but we do it.
00:16:10 >> Anything from OTB?
00:16:11 >> Yeah, you got any ideas?
00:16:13 >> Let me see.
00:16:14 >> Hey, you know what?
00:16:16 You could be that best anchor cop.
00:16:19 Remember you wrote that PO on that?
00:16:21 >> I straighten that out.
00:16:22 So what?
00:16:23 What are they going to do, fire me?
00:16:25 It's my own family.
00:16:26 [sighs]
00:16:27 [chewing]
00:16:30 >> Mm.
00:16:31 >> You finished, Ralph?
00:16:33 >> Yeah.
00:16:34 >> All right.
00:16:36 >> You know, Alex.
00:16:38 >> Okay.
00:16:39 >> All right.
00:16:40 >> You know, Alex.
00:16:42 >> Okay.
00:16:43 >> All right.
00:16:46 That's better.
00:16:47 Now, down to business.
00:16:51 Alex?
00:16:54 You happy downstairs?
00:16:56 That's important, because if a man isn't happy in his work,
00:16:59 he can't do a man's work.
00:17:00 Are you?
00:17:01 >> A man?
00:17:02 >> No.
00:17:03 Happy down there.
00:17:05 >> Yeah, sure.
00:17:07 >> How's Erica?
00:17:08 When is she coming home?
00:17:09 >> Actually, she got back last night.
00:17:11 >> So does she limp or what?
00:17:13 >> She has a therapist.
00:17:16 >> She limps.
00:17:17 I knew it.
00:17:18 >> Oh.
00:17:19 >> All right.
00:17:22 >> Alex, we've thought hard about this.
00:17:26 >> Oh, look.
00:17:27 I can explain about that Resnick thing.
00:17:30 I --
00:17:31 >> Shh, shh, shh, shh.
00:17:32 Sit.
00:17:33 Sit, sit.
00:17:34 Sit.
00:17:35 Is that what you're saying?
00:17:37 >> Yeah.
00:17:38 >> You've thought hard and long about this.
00:17:41 >> Right.
00:17:42 We think it's the best thing.
00:17:43 >> Yep.
00:17:44 Now, you've done a wonderful job.
00:17:45 You've learned the ropes down there on the floor.
00:17:47 But we think the time has come for you to join us up here.
00:17:51 >> What?
00:17:53 >> Vice president, from now on, you'll be working right up here with us.
00:17:58 Right here where we can keep an eye on you.
00:18:01 [ Laughter ]
00:18:11 >> That is very kind of you.
00:18:16 But I'm very happy where I am downstairs.
00:18:19 And they need me down there.
00:18:21 They really do.
00:18:22 I just think it's too early.
00:18:24 I wouldn't be able to appreciate it.
00:18:26 I'm not ready.
00:18:27 I couldn't possibly --
00:18:29 >> Alex, you are ready.
00:18:31 Trust me, I can tell.
00:18:33 >> You're far too modest.
00:18:35 >> As a matter of fact, we ordered a desk for you this morning.
00:18:38 >> Oh.
00:18:39 >> Yeah.
00:18:41 >> What will I have to do?
00:18:44 >> Everything.
00:18:45 >> Oh.
00:18:47 >> Your father would be very proud.
00:18:53 >> I really don't want to do it.
00:18:55 >> If you'll just let me show you, you'll see that this one is not so bad.
00:18:59 >> Why don't you leave me alone?
00:19:01 Can't you see I'm just a poor cripple?
00:19:03 >> Oh, Erica, stop exaggerating.
00:19:05 You're fine.
00:19:06 Calling yourself a cripple is just a defense mechanism.
00:19:09 >> I was just kidding.
00:19:12 >> Lie down.
00:19:18 >> Now wait.
00:19:20 >> Of course you're afraid.
00:19:21 It's perfectly normal.
00:19:23 Injuries like yours can be very traumatic.
00:19:26 >> That's very deep.
00:19:28 Do you charge extra for the analysis, or is it part of the package?
00:19:33 >> Knees up.
00:19:38 Okay, now first we're going to go slowly to your left.
00:19:41 >> Ow.
00:19:42 >> And back.
00:19:44 Now to your right.
00:19:46 >> Ow.
00:19:47 Ow!
00:19:48 >> That didn't hurt.
00:19:49 >> It didn't?
00:19:50 >> What is going on here?
00:19:52 >> Alex.
00:19:56 Alex, I'd like you to meet the grand inquisitor.
00:19:59 Lisa, this is my husband Alex.
00:20:03 >> Hello.
00:20:04 >> You know, this might sound really stupid, but haven't I seen you somewhere before?
00:20:08 >> God, Alex, what an inventive opener.
00:20:11 >> I'm serious.
00:20:12 She looks familiar.
00:20:14 >> I think I've seen you at Reedy's.
00:20:16 Maybe that's it.
00:20:17 >> Reedy's?
00:20:18 Wait a minute.
00:20:19 You told me Reedy's was a gay bar.
00:20:21 No women allowed.
00:20:23 >> I lied.
00:20:25 >> Well, don't be fooled by her face.
00:20:27 She's vicious.
00:20:32 >> I think that's enough for today.
00:20:40 Would you be happier with someone else?
00:20:42 >> Why?
00:20:43 Alex and I are very happy together.
00:20:47 >> That's not what I meant.
00:20:48 What I meant was would you prefer another nurse?
00:20:51 Maybe someone older or something.
00:20:52 I'm not sure I can help.
00:20:56 >> Oh, no, no, no, no.
00:20:58 No, please, come back tomorrow.
00:21:00 Really, I was just kidding around.
00:21:02 I'm always like this.
00:21:04 I'll knuckle under.
00:21:06 Please?
00:21:08 >> Okay.
00:21:09 >> Great.
00:21:11 Let me get your coat.
00:21:12 >> I'll see you tomorrow.
00:21:16 >> I knew you looked familiar.
00:21:18 You go there a lot?
00:21:19 >> Not so much anymore.
00:21:23 >> It's not that I'm so happy downstairs, but it's going to
00:21:26 be so much worse with them upstairs.
00:21:30 >> I don't understand.
00:21:32 I thought you'd reconciled yourself to the place.
00:21:40 Well, you're not eating it.
00:21:44 >> I just want you to know that if they find my body
00:21:46 somewhere and there's a suicide note with all sorts of stuff
00:21:49 about Chinese food, you should know that it had nothing to do
00:21:54 necessarily with you.
00:21:56 I just want you to know now so that later when you're
00:21:58 remarried, you can sleep easier knowing that this incident was
00:22:02 just one in a whole series of indignities that I associate
00:22:06 rightly or wrongly with oriental cuisine.
00:22:11 >> Are you all right?
00:22:14 Alex, come on.
00:22:16 It is not the end of the world.
00:22:20 Give yourself a break.
00:22:21 You're the boss now.
00:22:22 Maybe you'll like it.
00:22:24 >> If I start to like it, you have my permission to shoot me
00:22:28 with the family Luger.
00:22:31 >> I think you're overreacting.
00:22:33 >> Overreacting?
00:22:38 You know, my wildest dreams.
00:22:43 I'm going out.
00:22:44 >> Alex!
00:22:45 Alex, wait a minute!
00:22:49 You know, let's face it.
00:22:52 Since I have been back from the hospital --
00:22:59 >> Never mind.
00:23:00 Just go out.
00:23:26 >> What do you say we go out later and have a drink?
00:23:29 Radius maybe?
00:23:31 We can talk.
00:23:32 >> I can't.
00:23:33 We're dress rehearsing.
00:23:34 I told you.
00:23:35 >> Again?
00:23:37 All night?
00:23:38 >> Yes, at night.
00:23:39 I explained all that.
00:23:44 >> I'm going out anyway.
00:23:48 >> Hey, don't get mad.
00:23:55 Get even.
00:23:56 >> How long have I been coming here?
00:23:58 >> I don't know.
00:23:59 A couple of years.
00:24:00 >> I wouldn't even consider going to another bar.
00:24:03 >> You're a true blue.
00:24:08 >> Hey.
00:24:09 How are you?
00:24:10 >> Hello.
00:24:11 How about that?
00:24:12 Pull up a chair.
00:24:14 >> Can I have a 7 and 7, please?
00:24:17 >> Sure.
00:24:19 >> So you survived Erika.
00:24:21 >> Oh, sure.
00:24:22 >> A nurse.
00:24:25 That's what I need.
00:24:27 Did she tell you about the apartment?
00:24:29 How we call it the nursery?
00:24:31 >> Yeah, she told me.
00:24:33 Got a nice apartment.
00:24:35 >> So you want to see if they have any tables?
00:24:39 >> And then what happens?
00:24:41 >> And then the sun breaks.
00:24:43 >> Wakes, Kevin.
00:24:44 Not breaks.
00:24:45 Wakes.
00:24:46 >> I said wakes, not breaks.
00:24:48 >> Wakes.
00:24:49 >> Wakes.
00:24:50 >> Wakes.
00:24:51 >> I said wakes that time.
00:24:53 >> He said breaks, didn't he?
00:24:54 >> He said breaks.
00:24:55 >> There you go.
00:24:57 >> Okay, look.
00:24:58 I'm just a little preoccupied, all right?
00:25:01 Why don't you go to the next scene without me, all right?
00:25:04 I'll be back in a few minutes.
00:25:05 >> This is supposed to be a dress rehearsal.
00:25:07 >> A dress rehearsal?
00:25:09 You don't even have the goddamn costumes ready yet.
00:25:13 >> All right.
00:25:14 Why don't you take a break?
00:25:16 And cool off.
00:25:18 [Music]
00:25:41 >> No, no.
00:25:42 I think you were mad.
00:25:44 >> I do.
00:25:46 >> There's just something amusing about you.
00:25:48 [Music]
00:26:05 >> This is it?
00:26:10 I see a candle burning in the window.
00:26:17 >> Good night.
00:26:18 >> Good night.
00:26:36 [Music]
00:26:56 >> Hey, yo, I want to talk to you.
00:27:14 >> Speak to my secretary.
00:27:16 >> Oh, you're a riot.
00:27:21 Look, I'm making an effort here.
00:27:22 You could at least give me credit for that.
00:27:25 >> Oh, you want a receipt?
00:27:27 >> Oh, you want a receipt.
00:27:28 That's a good one.
00:27:29 Who are you picking up these classics?
00:27:31 Milton Berle break his leg or something?
00:27:35 Oh, please, come on.
00:27:36 What is it?
00:27:38 Lisa?
00:27:42 >> No, I just look at us.
00:27:44 Frankly, I don't see any future.
00:27:47 >> Oh, please.
00:27:49 Are you saying that because you don't see the future?
00:27:51 Or because you think I don't really see it?
00:27:54 >> What?
00:27:55 >> I mean, is it you who doesn't want any future?
00:27:57 Or are you just worried that I don't want what you want?
00:27:59 You follow?
00:28:00 >> Barely.
00:28:01 >> Because I see nothing but future.
00:28:03 You're always saying that's the problem, right?
00:28:05 That I count too much on the future?
00:28:07 >> You do.
00:28:08 >> Look, this isn't the time we sit around pasting photos in the album.
00:28:11 This is the time when I make a name for myself.
00:28:13 And you're supposed to want that, too.
00:28:15 Not make things harder.
00:28:16 >> Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, hey.
00:28:18 What is it I want, anyway?
00:28:19 Since you're an expert.
00:28:21 Do I really want to keep house with an unsuccessful actor for five more years?
00:28:27 More civilized times, actors weren't even allowed within the city limits.
00:28:31 >> Oh, yeah?
00:28:33 >> Yeah.
00:28:34 Or they were buried at the crossroads in unmarked graves.
00:28:37 Or something.
00:28:38 I don't remember.
00:28:39 >> Oh, you don't seem to get the picture, do you?
00:28:43 I'm the only one who can give you what you want.
00:28:46 >> How?
00:28:47 When?
00:28:48 Where?
00:28:49 >> Sooner than you think.
00:28:50 >> Wait.
00:28:51 You must think I'm really some pushover.
00:28:53 You must think I'm pretty sick if you think I'm going to wait at home for you to make People magazine.
00:28:59 Forget it.
00:29:00 I tried.
00:29:01 And you didn't.
00:29:04 [car engine]
00:29:32 >> Alex.
00:29:33 >> Hi, hi, hi.
00:29:34 How are you?
00:29:35 >> You ready to go?
00:29:36 >> Yes, I am.
00:29:37 I had a good time, I think.
00:29:39 >> Yeah, me too.
00:29:40 [chatter]
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00:29:46 [chatter]
00:29:49 [chatter]
00:29:52 [chatter]
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00:30:00 [chatter]
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00:31:23 >> Hello.
00:31:25 >> Mr. Boyer, I --
00:31:27 You're number six.
00:31:36 Could you fill this out and sit down, please?
00:31:38 Are you here for the job?
00:31:44 >> Yeah.
00:31:46 The job.
00:31:50 [music]
00:31:52 >> What's going on?
00:32:13 >> What's going on?
00:32:14 You're a replacement.
00:32:15 You got to do the interviews.
00:32:17 You got to pick somebody.
00:32:19 That's impossible.
00:32:20 >> Impossible?
00:32:21 They put it in the papers, man.
00:32:23 It's all in the papers.
00:32:24 They put it in the ads yesterday.
00:32:25 >> You do it.
00:32:26 >> Sorry, sir.
00:32:28 Order.
00:32:29 >> John Andrews.
00:32:30 >> That's right.
00:32:31 >> The accounting division of Carter and Havens?
00:32:35 >> Mm-hmm.
00:32:36 MBA from Fordham.
00:32:37 Seller at Wintergrain.
00:32:39 What's that?
00:32:40 >> Oh, specialized grain sales.
00:32:42 Mostly to underdeveloped countries.
00:32:44 >> And what happened there?
00:32:48 >> They relocated.
00:32:49 I thought I'd give banking a try.
00:32:52 >> Look, I'm afraid you just wouldn't be happy here.
00:32:56 You're just way too overqualified for a job like this.
00:32:59 >> That's not true.
00:33:00 I'm not.
00:33:02 Not at all.
00:33:03 >> I'm sorry.
00:33:05 >> I'm not overqualified.
00:33:07 I swear I don't know anything about fabrics or sportswear.
00:33:11 Nothing.
00:33:13 Go ahead.
00:33:14 I swear.
00:33:15 Ask me a question.
00:33:16 Ask me something.
00:33:17 I don't know a thing.
00:33:18 Really.
00:33:19 >> I'm sorry.
00:33:20 I wish I could believe that.
00:33:23 Thanks.
00:33:26 I am sorry.
00:33:30 I'm sorry.
00:33:31 >> It's a nice suit, at least.
00:33:42 >> No.
00:33:44 >> Listen, will you hurry up with this, huh?
00:33:46 We got something for you to start with right away.
00:33:48 Upstairs, it's a big government deal, just like in the old days.
00:33:51 And you can have it from start to finish.
00:33:53 If you just move your buns.
00:33:55 >> Not flags again.
00:33:56 >> Flags.
00:33:57 Better.
00:33:58 Uniforms, huh?
00:34:01 No problems with color mix-ups?
00:34:03 So move with that.
00:34:04 >> Okay.
00:34:13 Next.
00:34:15 >> Kevin Danzig.
00:34:17 You've worked mainly as an actor.
00:34:21 First actor all morning.
00:34:24 Frustrated by the irregular hours, I suppose.
00:34:30 >> No.
00:34:31 >> Look, do you want to have a seat?
00:34:43 >> So you take sugar in this?
00:34:45 >> No, I don't.
00:34:47 It's cold.
00:34:50 Getting back to business.
00:34:54 Did you go to college?
00:34:57 >> Didn't.
00:34:59 >> So you don't have a business degree?
00:35:01 >> No, sir, I don't.
00:35:03 >> Any experience at all in the fashion world?
00:35:06 >> Oh, wait. Oh, um...
00:35:08 No.
00:35:12 >> So what is it?
00:35:14 Just wild about textiles?
00:35:16 Wanted to give it a shot before it's too late?
00:35:18 >> Excuse me?
00:35:20 >> Why do you want this job?
00:35:22 >> Well, I was wondering.
00:35:25 Why don't you tell me what you do here,
00:35:27 and then I'll tell you if I want to do it.
00:35:29 >> You're kidding me, right?
00:35:41 >> You're researching a role or something, right?
00:35:43 Like Robert De Niro?
00:35:44 >> What?
00:35:45 >> No, no, that's great.
00:35:46 That's great.
00:35:47 Are you going to play a guy like me?
00:35:48 >> You don't think somebody's going to make a movie
00:35:50 about a place like this?
00:35:52 >> Well, maybe.
00:35:54 I mean, there could be.
00:35:55 It needs something, I admit.
00:35:57 >> Three.
00:35:59 Four.
00:36:04 I wanted to be a nurse once.
00:36:08 But I didn't want to be a nurse.
00:36:10 I used to take my dolls,
00:36:12 bash their heads against the wall,
00:36:14 throw them out the window,
00:36:16 and I'd rush to them and comfort them,
00:36:18 but nurse them back to health.
00:36:20 Being a real nurse is easier, I expect,
00:36:26 since you only have to take care of people.
00:36:29 They can hurt themselves on their own.
00:36:31 >> Ouch.
00:36:33 I never thought of it that way.
00:36:35 Nine.
00:36:40 My nursing period didn't last very long.
00:36:43 >> No, no, no, no, I'd love to come.
00:36:45 I really would.
00:36:46 What is it?
00:36:47 >> Okay, wait, wait, wait.
00:36:48 It's, uh, okay, tomorrow night,
00:36:50 at the Theater for the New City.
00:36:52 Got this?
00:36:53 >> Uh-huh.
00:36:54 >> Second Avenue.
00:36:55 >> Second Avenue.
00:36:56 >> Okay, and it's called Yo Keats.
00:36:59 >> Yo Keats.
00:37:00 Great.
00:37:01 I'll come.
00:37:03 God, that's great.
00:37:05 You know, I think I always wanted to be an actor myself.
00:37:08 Actually.
00:37:09 Or a hockey player.
00:37:10 It was hectic, man.
00:37:12 You got ten people out there, man.
00:37:14 Sticking up the goddamn reception room.
00:37:16 Would you do something about it?
00:37:18 >> So, uh, what do you work in a place like this for, anyway?
00:37:24 >> Hey, women's clothing is my life, okay?
00:37:27 >> What a life.
00:37:29 Hey, you know what I say?
00:37:31 >> What?
00:37:32 >> Work just doesn't work for me.
00:37:34 >> I like that.
00:37:35 Real nice meeting you.
00:37:36 >> This is Greg, huh?
00:37:37 >> We should have a drink sometime.
00:37:38 >> When?
00:37:39 >> I'll sit here.
00:37:42 We'll put Maggie here.
00:37:45 David, where you are.
00:37:47 And I'll accept the head and you over there.
00:37:52 >> You sure you want me to stay?
00:37:56 >> Yes.
00:37:57 I have to prove to you I'm not an ogre.
00:38:00 >> Hi.
00:38:02 I got everything.
00:38:04 >> Oh, Isabel called.
00:38:06 She and Mark can't come.
00:38:08 So we'll only be four.
00:38:10 >> Five.
00:38:11 >> Six.
00:38:12 I invited somebody from work.
00:38:14 >> Oh.
00:38:16 Six.
00:38:17 >> I enjoyed last night.
00:38:23 Fun.
00:38:24 >> Me, too.
00:38:26 I'm going to go help.
00:38:33 >> Hello.
00:38:35 >> Alex.
00:38:36 How you doing?
00:38:38 >> You dressed for us.
00:38:40 We appreciate it.
00:38:42 >> Nice to see you.
00:38:44 >> You, too.
00:38:46 >> My hat.
00:38:48 >> Erica.
00:38:49 >> Nice.
00:38:50 >> Okay.
00:38:51 I'll take all of this.
00:38:53 >> Thank you.
00:38:54 You look great.
00:38:56 >> No, I mean it.
00:38:58 You're hot.
00:38:59 >> I'm not hot.
00:39:01 >> You're home.
00:39:03 What's with the chair?
00:39:05 >> Helps me get around.
00:39:07 >> Hi, David.
00:39:08 >> Erica, hi.
00:39:09 How are you?
00:39:10 Comfortable?
00:39:12 >> Oh, Lisa, nurse.
00:39:15 This is Maggie and David.
00:39:17 >> Hi.
00:39:18 >> Hi, Lisa, nurse.
00:39:19 >> Hello.
00:39:20 >> How about a drink?
00:39:21 >> Oh, yeah.
00:39:22 >> All right.
00:39:23 >> But that sounds great.
00:39:30 >> No, it's not great.
00:39:31 It's terrible.
00:39:32 They're priming me to take over the entire company so that they can retire and go to Florida.
00:39:37 >> So?
00:39:38 It's a family business.
00:39:39 >> You don't understand this at all, do you?
00:39:41 >> No.
00:39:42 Hey, relax.
00:39:43 Look.
00:39:44 Here, I'll just -- here it is.
00:39:46 This isn't it.
00:39:47 >> Yep.
00:39:48 >> Here we go.
00:39:49 Just listen to this.
00:39:50 Tell me who am I to --
00:39:51 >> Not your cancer checklist again.
00:39:52 You're sick.
00:39:53 >> Does the slightest criticism send you into a deep depression?
00:39:57 >> Yes.
00:39:58 >> Okay.
00:39:59 Five points.
00:40:00 Narcissistic disorders.
00:40:02 Is anything less than everything a disappointment?
00:40:05 >> Yes.
00:40:06 >> Yes.
00:40:07 Okay.
00:40:08 Ten points.
00:40:09 This is very accurate.
00:40:10 >> You're very sick.
00:40:11 >> Not according to this.
00:40:13 Okay.
00:40:14 >> So when are you going to go back to work?
00:40:17 I may have something for you.
00:40:19 >> I kind of feel like taking it easy.
00:40:21 >> Come on.
00:40:22 You can work at home.
00:40:24 >> I don't know.
00:40:26 >> What's up?
00:40:27 >> Nothing.
00:40:29 God, what is all this talk about work?
00:40:32 Work, work, work, work, work.
00:40:35 I mean, I was almost killed.
00:40:39 >> Okay.
00:40:41 >> You know?
00:40:44 Anyway, what is this news, this surprise you have?
00:40:49 >> Are you sure you're well enough?
00:40:53 We're getting married.
00:40:54 Boom, that's it.
00:40:56 I mean, it's no big deal.
00:40:58 I mean, we're already an institution.
00:41:01 >> You're getting married?
00:41:03 >> It's no big deal.
00:41:05 >> Ah!
00:41:06 They're getting married!
00:41:09 >> You're getting married?
00:41:11 >> It's no big thing.
00:41:12 We're already on our second dog.
00:41:14 >> Alex, did you hear?
00:41:16 They're getting married.
00:41:18 >> Yeah.
00:41:19 Yeah.
00:41:20 Congratulations.
00:41:22 >> Thanks.
00:41:25 [doorbell rings]
00:41:28 >> Kevin!
00:41:30 >> Alex, how are you doing?
00:41:32 >> Good.
00:41:33 >> This is Jeannie.
00:41:34 We're in a show together.
00:41:36 >> Hi.
00:41:37 >> I hope you don't mind.
00:41:39 >> Not as long as you have separate dressing rooms.
00:41:42 >> I brought her along.
00:41:44 >> No, no, no.
00:41:45 We've got an extra seat and everything.
00:41:47 This is Kevin.
00:41:48 He's a friend of mine from work.
00:41:50 This is Jeannie.
00:41:51 This is my wife, Erica.
00:41:53 Car accident.
00:41:54 >> Hi, good.
00:41:55 >> Hi.
00:41:56 >> This is David.
00:41:57 This is Maggie and Lisa.
00:41:59 Lisa's a nurse.
00:42:01 She's taking care of Erica.
00:42:03 >> She's shy.
00:42:07 [music]
00:42:13 >> Married.
00:42:15 >> Yeah.
00:42:19 >> Ah!
00:42:20 Sly and the family stone.
00:42:22 >> I love him.
00:42:24 I love all that.
00:42:26 >> Nostalgia buff, eh?
00:42:28 >> You know, Erica, that husband of yours is really a
00:42:30 great guy.
00:42:31 He shouldn't have to work in a crummy job like that.
00:42:34 >> Oh, yeah?
00:42:35 What do you do?
00:42:37 >> Well, I'm an actor.
00:42:39 >> Really?
00:42:40 What restaurant?
00:42:41 >> You going to have kids?
00:42:43 >> Sure.
00:42:44 Why not?
00:42:45 I think I'd be good at having kids.
00:42:47 Not good at it.
00:42:49 I mean, rabbits are good at it.
00:42:51 >> I actually have a show opening tomorrow night.
00:42:53 >> Oh, shouldn't you be rehearsing?
00:42:56 >> No.
00:42:58 >> Anyway, Alex needs that crummy job of his.
00:43:02 I don't know why everyone and his uncle wants to be
00:43:05 something they're not, like an actor.
00:43:07 But they do.
00:43:09 >> Hmm.
00:43:11 >> I'm going to get another drink.
00:43:13 >> Oh, no.
00:43:15 ♪♪♪♪♪
00:43:29 >> What the hell are you doing here?
00:43:31 I don't believe it.
00:43:33 You're not bimbo.
00:43:34 >> Hey, Jeannie happens to be one of the more incredible
00:43:37 actresses.
00:43:38 >> Just say you have to go and go.
00:43:40 I'm telling you, you're sick.
00:43:41 Just leave.
00:43:42 >> What?
00:43:43 >> You're going to be with good old Alex.
00:43:46 >> What?
00:43:47 He's married.
00:43:48 >> Well, she's crippled.
00:43:50 No, no, no, I get it.
00:43:52 It's her idea.
00:43:53 Look, you send me the pictures, it's okay with me.
00:43:56 >> Oh, you are sick.
00:43:58 >> Don't insult the guest.
00:43:59 I'm his pal.
00:44:01 You just work here.
00:44:03 ♪♪♪♪♪
00:44:19 >> All our friends are getting married.
00:44:22 It's depressing.
00:44:25 >> Thanks.
00:44:27 ♪♪♪♪♪
00:44:39 >> You think you're so smart.
00:44:43 I think it's ready.
00:44:49 ♪♪♪♪♪
00:44:59 >> You must have -- you must have --
00:45:04 >> Excuse me.
00:45:06 I'd like to make a toast.
00:45:08 A toast to David and Margaret who will be tying the knot
00:45:11 shortly.
00:45:12 >> Congratulations.
00:45:13 >> All I can say is, David, you finally caught her.
00:45:17 >> He didn't catch me at all.
00:45:20 I remember when I first met this guy.
00:45:22 He wouldn't even talk to me.
00:45:24 >> He doesn't seem like the shy type.
00:45:26 >> Oh, he wasn't shy.
00:45:28 He just didn't like me.
00:45:31 >> He had his eye on some girl you were with, Alex.
00:45:35 I think she was foreign.
00:45:37 >> She was Italian.
00:45:39 >> And beautiful.
00:45:41 >> Well, if you like women.
00:45:44 >> Anyway, he didn't even notice me.
00:45:49 I had to strip right there just to get his attention.
00:45:52 >> None of this is true.
00:45:54 Not a word.
00:45:55 >> I slept with you three times before you got my name right.
00:45:59 >> You surprised me.
00:46:01 I doted on you.
00:46:03 I followed you around like a dog.
00:46:06 I seduced you.
00:46:09 >> How?
00:46:11 >> It was simple.
00:46:14 I saw you at that party.
00:46:16 Alex pointed you out.
00:46:18 You were slutting around.
00:46:20 You were dancing with everyone.
00:46:22 You were wearing a brown top, as usual, and a brown skirt.
00:46:25 What a surprise.
00:46:26 And no bra.
00:46:28 And I walked up and said, excuse me, I've been watching you dance for a half hour now.
00:46:33 And I'm exhausted.
00:46:35 Would you mind sitting this one out with me?
00:46:37 >> God.
00:46:40 >> A perfect line.
00:46:42 >> It worked.
00:46:43 >> You fell for it.
00:46:46 >> Oh, you want the truth.
00:46:48 Fine.
00:46:49 We were both stoned out of our minds.
00:46:52 We had both just been dumped by the loves of our lives.
00:46:58 And I repeat, gentleman of the jury, he did not learn my name for quite a while.
00:47:03 >> Bullshit.
00:47:05 Maggie, right?
00:47:07 Maggie?
00:47:09 >> I rest my case.
00:47:15 >> Whoever's right, that's the most pathetic story I've heard so far.
00:47:19 Essentially, what started off as your basic sleazoid campus pickup, finally you're after -- how long has it been now?
00:47:28 25 years?
00:47:29 You are ready to institutionalize it.
00:47:33 I have got to drink another toast.
00:47:35 To declining standards?
00:47:39 What?
00:47:40 >> Well, all seductions are sorted if you want to look at it like that.
00:47:46 But I think real seduction is a lost art.
00:47:50 >> Any idiot can have a real long-term relationship.
00:47:53 All you got to do is smile a lot.
00:47:55 >> Right.
00:47:56 But real seduction.
00:47:57 >> Oh, yes.
00:47:58 Tell us about it.
00:48:00 Yeah.
00:48:03 Okay.
00:48:05 I'll demonstrate.
00:48:07 Any lady volunteers from the audience?
00:48:11 How about you?
00:48:14 >> All right.
00:48:16 >> Okay.
00:48:20 I approach you in a crowded bar.
00:48:22 I strike up a conversation.
00:48:24 I get you to talk about yourself and I listen.
00:48:27 But I don't sympathize too much because then not only do I not go to bed with you, I'm suddenly your best girlfriend.
00:48:32 >> If they like you too much, you're dead.
00:48:35 >> Precisely.
00:48:37 >> I agree 100%.
00:48:39 Proceed.
00:48:41 >> So what do I do?
00:48:43 Besides not like you too much?
00:48:45 >> Throw a drink in his face.
00:48:47 >> So I take you to some nice restaurant.
00:48:49 Expensive.
00:48:50 >> Kevin can be the waiter.
00:48:53 So what happens next?
00:48:56 >> Well, now you wonder what I'm really like.
00:48:59 Because underneath this cool exterior, you just know I'm different.
00:49:05 You're curious.
00:49:07 But you continue to talk about yourself.
00:49:11 >> So what am I telling him these things?
00:49:15 So I change the subject.
00:49:17 I ask about you.
00:49:20 Where were you born?
00:49:22 Or what do you do?
00:49:25 >> Now I really do become shy.
00:49:29 I act as if every question you ask is incredibly intimate.
00:49:32 As if I've never been asked before.
00:49:34 Ask him about his pants.
00:49:39 >> Oh, where did you get these striking pants?
00:49:42 >> Oh, these?
00:49:44 I know they're very silly.
00:49:47 I have another pair at home much nicer than this.
00:49:49 But I spilled something on them.
00:49:51 And I know they're really nice.
00:49:53 >> Oh, no, they're not.
00:49:55 Ah-ha!
00:49:56 He gets the first compliment.
00:49:58 >> So now I feel, without sounding too much like a come on,
00:50:03 I can tell you just how beautiful I really think you are.
00:50:08 >> And though I just shrug, secretly I'm thrilled.
00:50:15 >> You are easy.
00:50:17 But Alex, what are you going to do if the girl is over 13 years old?
00:50:21 >> You don't get it, do you?
00:50:24 You make them think it's all their idea, that they made me feel this way.
00:50:30 Then you can flirt like crazy.
00:50:33 >> He's cute.
00:50:35 Not macho.
00:50:37 But still, I don't think he's going to go all sensitive and weepy on me.
00:50:41 >> I tell a few more cheap jokes, she laughs.
00:50:45 And then, she's going to be a little bit more sensitive.
00:50:50 >> When the time is right, I might say...
00:50:57 >> I'm gay.
00:50:59 [Laughter]
00:51:02 >> If you're not going home, I thought that maybe we could...
00:51:12 >> Well...
00:51:15 >> Yes.
00:51:24 >> That's beautiful.
00:51:27 >> I don't know.
00:51:29 I don't think you're telling the whole story.
00:51:31 I think you're leaving out parts, especially that part about the pants.
00:51:36 >> That's not a seduction.
00:51:40 Picking somebody up in a bar is nothing.
00:51:43 >> You can't pick them up unless they want to be.
00:51:45 What are they doing in the bar in the first place?
00:51:48 >> Lubrication.
00:51:52 >> What?
00:51:54 >> Lubrication.
00:51:55 You ain't going to get what ain't wet.
00:51:58 >> He's got a point.
00:52:00 >> Wet?
00:52:01 You can't get what?
00:52:03 >> You two are married.
00:52:04 You guys are getting married.
00:52:06 I'm the only guy at the table doing any seducing.
00:52:08 And I'm saying you're all wrong.
00:52:10 You're really wrong.
00:52:12 I have to appeal to the 13-year-old girl in you.
00:52:15 Because at your age, you've got to be tired of the same old, same old.
00:52:19 At least I hope you are.
00:52:21 And Alex, forget it.
00:52:24 I mean, with the wine, the roses, you spilled something on your pants.
00:52:29 I mean, with that, you might get what you want.
00:52:32 But you're never going to figure out what they want.
00:52:35 Jeannie, remember that time I bet you in the bar, I thought you were someone else?
00:52:40 >> Yeah, I remember, like it was yesterday.
00:52:42 >> Yeah, so I took a chance.
00:52:44 Maybe she has a fantasy, right?
00:52:46 So I said to her, and this is a thing that I would never really say.
00:52:48 I'd go like this.
00:52:50 I know what you want.
00:52:52 >> Oh, you talk tough.
00:52:54 But I knew you were safe.
00:52:55 I mean, just look at him.
00:52:57 >> Yeah, but I knew she didn't want another number in her black book or something to write home to mom about.
00:53:01 She wanted something to write home to herself about.
00:53:03 >> And I said, how did you know?
00:53:06 >> It was great, too, wasn't it?
00:53:09 >> Are you kidding?
00:53:11 Where do you get this shit?
00:53:13 Cosmo?
00:53:15 >> Well, I mean, it was just an --
00:53:16 >> Fantasy.
00:53:17 I mean, you got to care about what they care about, their anatomy.
00:53:21 I mean, how are you going to be anybody's boyfriend if you don't know anything about being their girlfriend?
00:53:25 I'm not saying you got to be gay or anything.
00:53:27 You know what I say?
00:53:28 I say, I'm just gay about girls.
00:53:33 >> I prefer your method.
00:53:35 It's more sincere.
00:53:37 Less vulgar.
00:53:39 Kevin's would only work with certain types.
00:53:41 >> Now, wait a second.
00:53:42 This was just an act.
00:53:44 >> Sure.
00:53:47 >> Anyway, nobody knows what they really want.
00:53:50 Nobody.
00:53:52 >> Honey, you just said a fucking mouthful.
00:53:56 >> I'm not a mouthful.
00:53:58 >> Honey, you just said a fucking mouthful.
00:54:03 People don't know what they want.
00:54:08 But I'll bet you --
00:54:12 I'll bet you when you're about to check out, you know exactly what you want.
00:54:17 You want what you had.
00:54:22 Too late.
00:54:26 I was lying in the fucking street.
00:54:33 I felt so stupid.
00:54:35 I thought, God, I blew it.
00:54:39 I had it.
00:54:40 And I blew it.
00:54:44 This is not a rehearsal, kids.
00:54:49 So if you don't get what you want, feed it.
00:54:55 Because all the rest of this shit makes me sick.
00:55:05 You didn't see that.
00:55:14 So who wants dessert?
00:55:24 >> Hi, honey.
00:55:26 >> So how are you doing?
00:55:28 >> Fine.
00:55:29 Fine.
00:55:34 >> One last dance, babe?
00:55:36 >> Sorry, Romeo, we got to go.
00:55:38 >> No.
00:55:39 >> Don't bother getting up.
00:55:42 >> Welcome home.
00:55:44 >> Thanks.
00:55:45 >> I'll see you later.
00:55:46 >> Okay.
00:55:47 >> I'm cheerful.
00:55:48 >> We're going now.
00:55:49 >> We're going.
00:55:50 >> Here we go.
00:55:51 >> Bye.
00:55:52 >> Don't talk to yourself.
00:55:53 >> Bye.
00:55:54 >> Bye.
00:55:55 >> Good night, Kevin.
00:55:56 Nice to meet you.
00:55:57 >> Good night.
00:55:58 >> Nice to meet you.
00:55:59 >> Nice meeting you, too.
00:56:00 >> Great.
00:56:01 >> Honey.
00:56:02 >> Honey!
00:56:10 >> Okay, big guy.
00:56:13 >> Hey, hey, hey.
00:56:14 >> Thanks for coming.
00:56:15 >> I'm going to do it.
00:56:16 >> I wouldn't.
00:56:17 >> Too late for that.
00:56:19 >> Thanks for coming.
00:56:30 >> Kevin, we have to go.
00:56:31 It's getting late.
00:56:41 >> Well, good luck on this play.
00:56:43 >> Thanks for the party.
00:56:44 >> Thank you.
00:56:45 >> I hope your life gets better.
00:56:46 >> Oh, so do I.
00:56:48 >> So, Alex, great.
00:56:49 All too wonderful.
00:56:50 >> I'm really glad you could make it.
00:56:52 >> Okay, right.
00:56:53 I've got to go.
00:56:54 >> I'll see you again, I hope.
00:56:55 >> Yeah, yeah.
00:56:56 >> Thanks for the party.
00:56:57 >> Kick ass on this play.
00:56:58 >> All right, we will.
00:56:59 Come see it.
00:57:00 >> Okay.
00:57:01 >> Okay.
00:57:02 >> Okay.
00:57:03 ¶¶
00:57:14 ¶¶
00:57:27 >> Well, I'm going to have a
00:57:30 drink.
00:57:31 Would you like one?
00:57:32 >> Yeah.
00:57:33 I want another drink.
00:57:36 Time for bed.
00:57:38 ¶¶
00:57:45 >> Okay.
00:57:47 ¶¶
00:57:51 >> Look, here's $5.
00:57:53 Send me the blinker, okay?
00:57:55 >> Hey, wait.
00:57:57 Kevin.
00:57:59 ¶¶
00:58:12 >> Let's get these things off,
00:58:14 she'll be more comfortable.
00:58:15 >> What?
00:58:16 >> Let's get these things off,
00:58:18 she'll be more comfortable.
00:58:40 >> I'm sorry about this.
00:58:59 >> Why?
00:59:01 >> It's just getting so late,
00:59:03 and I -- you probably want to
00:59:05 go home.
00:59:24 ¶¶
00:59:25 ¶¶
00:59:26 ¶¶
00:59:27 ¶¶
00:59:37 ¶¶
00:59:50 ¶¶
01:00:00 ¶¶
01:00:13 ¶¶
01:00:23 >> Maybe we shouldn't do this.
01:00:26 ¶¶
01:00:46 >> Oh, Jesus.
01:00:48 Oh.
01:00:50 >> Oh, I fell.
01:00:52 >> Are you all right?
01:00:54 >> I tripped.
01:00:55 >> Oh, my God.
01:00:57 >> She's okay.
01:00:59 I think.
01:01:02 Come on.
01:01:13 >> Oh.
01:01:15 Oh.
01:01:17 >> Carly.
01:01:20 Okay, okay.
01:01:21 Yeah.
01:01:24 Come on, let go, let go, let go.
01:01:28 Let go.
01:01:29 All right, never mind.
01:01:30 I can do it.
01:01:32 It's all right.
01:01:38 >> Okay.
01:01:39 I'm so thirsty.
01:01:41 >> Okay.
01:02:07 >> I can stay in with her and make sure she's okay.
01:02:11 >> No, that's okay.
01:02:12 I will.
01:02:13 >> You sure?
01:02:14 >> Mm-hmm.
01:02:15 >> Okay.
01:02:16 >> Why don't you sleep in the other room, and if there's a
01:02:20 problem, I'll just get you.
01:02:23 >> All right.
01:02:25 >> Okay.
01:02:26 I'm going to sleep in this room.
01:02:30 >> I think it's best.
01:02:32 >> I'll get you to.
01:02:37 Good night.
01:02:40 >> Good night.
01:03:01 [snoring]
01:03:11 [doorbell rings]
01:03:27 >> Oh.
01:03:31 Yes?
01:03:32 >> Yeah, excuse me.
01:03:33 We found this guy sleeping in the building lobby.
01:03:35 When we arrested him, he claimed he lives here.
01:03:38 Family troubles.
01:03:39 Is that correct?
01:03:40 >> Well, he doesn't live here, no.
01:03:42 Alex.
01:03:43 >> Hey, buddy.
01:03:44 >> I mean, I know him.
01:03:45 I know him.
01:03:46 He's a friend of mine.
01:03:47 He was here last night.
01:03:48 But no, he doesn't live here.
01:03:49 >> What are you saying?
01:03:50 >> I don't know what I'm saying.
01:03:51 Come in.
01:03:52 Come in.
01:03:53 I just know him.
01:03:54 >> What's going on, Kevin?
01:03:57 >> I...
01:04:00 >> Kevin.
01:04:07 Hello.
01:04:19 >> Can I go now?
01:04:20 >> Sure.
01:04:21 >> Kev!
01:04:22 >> Sorry to bother you.
01:04:25 >> Christ, Tom.
01:04:29 What's going on?
01:04:33 >> You're walking.
01:04:35 >> Okay.
01:04:38 >> I'm sorry.
01:05:01 >> Have you seen my...
01:05:04 >> What's going on?
01:05:06 What do you mean?
01:05:08 >> What was she doing here?
01:05:11 >> She stayed in the spare room.
01:05:13 >> I didn't say where.
01:05:14 I said what.
01:05:17 >> Don't you remember how fucked up you were last night?
01:05:20 >> I don't remember anything.
01:05:22 Tell me.
01:05:23 >> Oh, boy, it was a great party.
01:05:25 I really got to go.
01:05:30 >> What a guy.
01:05:33 >> Kevin?
01:06:01 Hello?
01:06:03 >> It's me.
01:06:04 I'm coming right over.
01:06:05 >> No, no, no.
01:06:06 You can't.
01:06:07 >> Oh, yes.
01:06:08 I'll see you soon.
01:06:09 Bye.
01:06:10 >> No, wait.
01:06:11 Alex.
01:06:12 Alex.
01:06:32 >> My cab.
01:06:55 >> Five minutes.
01:06:56 Five minutes.
01:07:04 >> Two minutes.
01:07:05 >> Two minutes?
01:07:06 What do you mean two minutes?
01:07:07 >> What do you mean five minutes?
01:07:09 >> I mean that in five minutes I'm going to have you convinced to come away with me tonight.
01:07:16 >> You bought tickets?
01:07:17 >> Yeah, well, I did.
01:07:18 I figured I should speak louder than words.
01:07:20 >> Hold on a minute here.
01:07:23 You don't have jobs and you're not married?
01:07:26 >> We go away together.
01:07:28 We just see what happens.
01:07:30 You don't have to make any permanent commitment.
01:07:32 You just have to go away with me.
01:07:38 What's the matter?
01:07:42 What's the matter?
01:07:43 >> What's the matter?
01:07:44 We're in a hurry, right?
01:07:46 You have it all figured out.
01:07:48 >> Yeah, but --
01:07:49 >> Here.
01:07:50 I don't want to hear any buts, Alex.
01:07:52 >> Hey, Lisa!
01:08:00 [ Sighs ]
01:08:01 [ Music ]
01:08:17 >> Why are you rushing this?
01:08:20 Why are you doing it this way?
01:08:22 Last night you were so -- and in here you make me so --
01:08:26 >> I don't want to be married anymore.
01:08:32 >> Can I get to be your excuse?
01:08:34 >> No, no.
01:08:36 You're not taking this seriously enough.
01:08:38 >> I am taking this seriously.
01:08:40 You're the one who's turning this into some kind of theatrical spectacular, and I don't need that.
01:08:45 I've already got an actor.
01:08:49 >> Do you and Kevin live together?
01:08:53 >> Yes.
01:08:54 >> Oh.
01:08:56 Oh.
01:09:03 So do you want to come away with me now or what?
01:09:05 >> Oh, come on, Alex.
01:09:06 You're not listening.
01:09:07 >> No, no, no.
01:09:08 You're not.
01:09:10 I'm serious.
01:09:11 The only way I can do this is just breaking off all the ties and going away with you.
01:09:16 Now, if you never want to see me again, just say so.
01:09:19 Just look at me and say so.
01:09:21 Great.
01:09:22 Okay.
01:09:23 I'm going to Reedy's, 1030.
01:09:25 Just think about it.
01:09:26 1030, Reedy's.
01:09:28 If you're there, you're there.
01:09:37 >> Mr. Boyer.
01:09:38 Mr. Boyer!
01:09:39 Mr. Boyer!
01:09:42 >> What?
01:09:44 >> I don't know what to tell these people.
01:09:46 I've told them to wait, but...
01:09:48 >> Who?
01:09:50 >> Them.
01:09:55 >> I've got to take care of something.
01:09:57 Just tell them to wait a little longer.
01:10:03 >> Uncle Mel, I have to talk to you about something very important.
01:10:05 >> If it's important, we should wait for Stu.
01:10:09 I've thought it over and over, and I've come to the conclusion that I quit.
01:10:14 >> What?
01:10:16 >> I think it's best for me and the company if I just left.
01:10:19 There's no future for me here.
01:10:21 It just isn't right.
01:10:23 >> You can't just leave.
01:10:25 >> Why?
01:10:26 >> Why?
01:10:27 Because we're family.
01:10:29 >> Uncle Mel, we do not live in prehistoric times.
01:10:32 I can love you as family, but that doesn't mean I have to work for you.
01:10:37 >> Yes, it does.
01:10:39 I mean, you don't work for us.
01:10:40 I mean, you do work for us.
01:10:41 I mean, we work-- we all work together.
01:10:46 You know, it's as much your company as it is ours.
01:10:50 >> What do you mean?
01:10:52 >> I mean, on paper.
01:10:54 >> On paper?
01:10:55 >> On paper.
01:11:00 >> It's destiny, Alex.
01:11:01 That's what it is.
01:11:03 >> No, no, no, don't fuck with fate.
01:11:04 You'll get hurt.
01:11:07 >> Why is all this news to me?
01:11:08 >> It's not news to you.
01:11:09 We told you when you're fucked.
01:11:11 You know.
01:11:12 >> Yeah, but I didn't think that that meant I--
01:11:14 >> Sure, sure, I know you were stumped.
01:11:15 I understand.
01:11:16 You were dazed.
01:11:17 You were thinking about other things.
01:11:18 Look, I'm sorry.
01:11:19 I didn't realize it then either.
01:11:20 So let me tell you now.
01:11:22 You're a partner in this company.
01:11:23 You can't be fired, and you can't quit, okay?
01:11:29 >> I can't quit.
01:11:31 >> I know how you feel.
01:11:33 The worst part about growing up, I guess.
01:11:35 We're not as free as we thought we were.
01:11:37 We just can't do whatever we want to do.
01:11:40 >> I'll sell.
01:11:42 >> What?
01:11:44 >> I'll sell.
01:11:45 >> You'll sell?
01:11:47 Who are you going to sell to?
01:11:48 Good luck, Charlie.
01:11:52 >> Stu.
01:11:53 >> Yeah?
01:11:55 >> Why are you doing this to me?
01:11:57 >> Alex, what do you want?
01:11:59 >> I want out.
01:12:01 >> That's what you don't want.
01:12:02 You don't want to work here.
01:12:03 Tell me what you want.
01:12:05 >> I can't even explain it to you.
01:12:07 >> Why, I wouldn't understand?
01:12:08 >> No, you wouldn't.
01:12:09 I don't think you would, no.
01:12:10 >> Sure.
01:12:12 What are you trying to do, give me hemorrhoids?
01:12:14 I've got hemorrhoids, so don't bother.
01:12:17 [sizzling]
01:12:29 Listen, I don't want you to do anything rash, you know what I mean?
01:12:34 So why don't you take a week off.
01:12:38 When you come back, we'll discuss it.
01:12:39 I'll think it over.
01:12:41 I'll write a short story or something.
01:12:43 Just get it out of your system.
01:12:47 >> What if it takes more than a week?
01:12:49 >> Take a month.
01:12:51 Take a month off.
01:12:54 Take three months off and write a novel or save the world or whatever.
01:12:57 Don't worry about it.
01:12:58 We'll hold a fortune to get back.
01:13:00 >> I don't want three months off, Stu.
01:13:02 I want--
01:13:03 >> No, you don't know what you want.
01:13:06 That's the whole point of this discussion.
01:13:08 So don't tell me you're leaving or you're selling or you're quitting
01:13:11 because I won't let you.
01:13:13 >> I'm going to say it, Stu.
01:13:14 >> Can't hear you.
01:13:15 >> I'm going to say it.
01:13:16 >> Can't hear you.
01:13:17 I'm singing.
01:13:18 >> Stu, I'm quitting.
01:13:19 >> I'm singing.
01:13:20 >> I'm quitting.
01:13:23 Uncle Stu.
01:13:25 Uncle Stu.
01:13:27 >> Yeah.
01:13:30 >> I should at least tell you who I chose to replace me downstairs.
01:13:33 >> Yeah, who?
01:13:35 >> Ralph.
01:13:38 >> Ralph who?
01:13:39 >> Our Ralph.
01:13:41 >> Our Ralph?
01:13:43 He's just a--
01:13:47 Okay.
01:13:48 You're the boss.
01:13:59 >> So?
01:14:00 >> I really can't explain it.
01:14:04 I just can't be your nurse anymore.
01:14:07 >> I can recommend a new one if you want.
01:14:11 >> You don't really think I need one, do you?
01:14:14 >> I think you could probably benefit from a nurse for a little while yet.
01:14:18 It just can't be me.
01:14:20 >> Are you talking funny today or something?
01:14:30 What is it, Lisa dear?
01:14:32 You don't like me anymore.
01:14:34 >> What has nothing to do with you?
01:14:37 >> I think it probably does.
01:14:44 Quite a commotion here this morning.
01:14:52 Well, I guess that's all.
01:14:56 >> Huh?
01:14:58 >> If that's your decision.
01:15:11 >> Erica?
01:15:14 Erica?
01:15:16 Erica?
01:15:36 >> Hi, Alex.
01:15:39 >> Are you going somewhere?
01:15:41 >> No, but I thought you were, so I packed a bag.
01:15:47 >> You what?
01:15:48 >> I didn't know where, so I made kind of a general selection, weather-wise.
01:16:03 >> That's it?
01:16:04 That's it?
01:16:07 You're not going to say anything?
01:16:11 >> How's work?
01:16:13 >> How's work?
01:16:14 I quit that fucking place.
01:16:16 That's how work is.
01:16:17 I'm leaving there, I'm leaving here, and I'm leaving you.
01:16:21 >> It's your life.
01:16:23 >> Don't patronize me!
01:16:24 Don't patronize me!
01:16:26 Everybody's doing that.
01:16:27 It is infuriating!
01:16:30 Why don't you get angry?
01:16:32 Get angry!
01:16:33 You don't even get angry anymore.
01:16:35 >> You're right.
01:16:37 I probably should get angry.
01:16:39 But right now, I just don't have the energy.
01:16:44 >> Hey, hey, hey!
01:16:47 Hey!
01:16:50 What, you think I'm kidding?
01:16:52 You think you have me all figured out?
01:16:55 No secrets from Erica?
01:16:57 Well, check this out.
01:17:00 I'm leaving.
01:17:01 This is me leaving.
01:17:04 So long.
01:17:05 Sayonara.
01:17:06 A bientot.
01:17:08 Arrivederci.
01:17:09 Whoa!
01:17:12 >> I'm not your mother, Alex.
01:17:14 I'm not going to stop you if you want to go out and play.
01:17:17 If you want to go, go!
01:17:22 >> You're out of your fucking mind.
01:17:24 >> I'm not taking the blame anymore.
01:17:26 I am sick and tired of hearing how great your life would have been if it weren't for me!
01:17:32 >> You don't know how lucky you are!
01:17:42 Why don't you ever remember the good times?
01:17:46 Like...
01:17:55 Like that time we drove back from California?
01:17:59 Alex?
01:18:02 Or that time in New Orleans?
01:18:04 On the roof?
01:18:06 During the party?
01:18:08 That was pretty sexy.
01:18:13 I still think about it.
01:18:18 Alex?
01:18:28 I still think about it.
01:18:33 Especially at times like this.
01:18:35 When you start to fuck up.
01:18:37 When you try to fire everything!
01:18:39 >> Damn!
01:18:44 >> Shit!
01:18:46 >> Oh, that's great.
01:18:47 Yeah, smash a few things.
01:18:49 Uh-huh, uh-huh.
01:18:50 >> You shit!
01:18:51 >> Oh, shit.
01:18:52 Hey, that was nice.
01:18:54 Ooh, good one.
01:18:55 Yeah?
01:18:56 What, am I next?
01:18:57 >> No, you're not.
01:18:58 >> I'm going to knock you down.
01:18:59 >> What, you're going to knock my nose off?
01:19:01 Go ahead, let me have it.
01:19:02 Huh?
01:19:03 Oh, grow up, will you?
01:19:09 Give me that.
01:19:10 >> Ow!
01:19:13 Oh, stop it.
01:19:15 Had enough?
01:19:16 Are you all right?
01:19:18 >> I'm fine.
01:19:19 I think you cut me.
01:19:21 >> Oh, Jesus.
01:19:22 >> Ay.
01:19:24 >> Oh, my God, I'm bleeding.
01:19:26 >> It's okay.
01:19:27 >> Oh!
01:19:28 >> Stop it.
01:19:30 You're being a baby.
01:19:32 >> Yeah, a baby who's bleeding to death.
01:19:35 >> Okay, I'll dry him up.
01:19:38 [paper crinkling]
01:19:52 [paper crinkling]
01:19:54 Okay, you're going to live.
01:20:07 You can put your arm down now.
01:20:09 It's going to be all right.
01:20:19 You can go now.
01:20:24 What?
01:20:25 >> You want me to stay?
01:20:32 >> Do you want to stay?
01:20:37 >> I asked you first.
01:20:44 >> Okay.
01:20:47 You want to go, you should go.
01:20:52 Go.
01:20:55 [music]
01:20:58 [music]
01:21:01 [music]
01:21:04 [music]
01:21:07 [music]
01:21:10 [music]
01:21:37 >> There's an animal going insane somewhere just because of you.
01:21:42 Just because of this dress that you're wearing.
01:21:45 A lion somewhere is jumping into a river.
01:21:48 And you're sipping wine while a bear might be somewhere just staring off into space.
01:21:54 While the forest around him is burning.
01:21:58 [chatter]
01:22:01 [chatter]
01:22:04 [chatter]
01:22:07 [chatter]
01:22:10 [chatter]
01:22:13 [chatter]
01:22:15 [laughter]
01:22:40 [laughter]
01:22:42 [laughter]
01:22:44 >> I thought you wanted to.
01:22:50 What's the problem?
01:22:52 >> Lubrication.
01:22:54 >> What?
01:22:56 >> Lubrication.
01:22:58 You ain't going to get what ain't wet.
01:23:01 You are just trying to satisfy your fantasies, not mine.
01:23:05 You might get what you want, but you're not going to get what I want.
01:23:09 I'm sick of the same old, same old.
01:23:12 Don't you know what I want?
01:23:14 Say you know what I want.
01:23:16 Say it.
01:23:18 >> I know what you want.
01:23:20 >> Get it?
01:23:22 Get it?
01:23:24 >> Good night, George.
01:23:33 >> You're going out, Mrs. Boyer?
01:23:35 >> Uh-huh.
01:23:37 [laughter]
01:23:39 >> It really slits my throat to see you walk away.
01:23:43 It really puts a grenade in my mouth when I hear you say,
01:23:47 "I don't love you anymore,"
01:23:49 and this is the goodbye I should have said before.
01:23:52 It really blows my feet up when I'm running after you.
01:23:56 It really drops atomic bombs on both foot one and two.
01:24:00 My Hiroshima left, my Nagasaki right.
01:24:04 Mushroom clouds get in my eyes.
01:24:07 My tears are all that's left of an ocean.
01:24:11 The heat of you leaving dries.
01:24:15 >> That might work if I was a girl.
01:24:18 Too bad I'm John Keats.
01:24:21 >> Yeah, but yo, Keats!
01:24:24 [applause]
01:24:27 [applause]
01:24:30 [applause]
01:24:33 [applause]
01:24:36 [applause]
01:24:39 [applause]
01:24:42 [applause]
01:24:46 [chatter]
01:24:49 [laughter]
01:25:07 >> Not bad, not bad.
01:25:09 >> You!
01:25:11 >> Get up!
01:25:13 >> You know what I mean?
01:25:15 >> What about you? You did it!
01:25:17 I have a feeling we're going to have a clean sweep with this.
01:25:20 >> Now you're talking like an agent.
01:25:22 >> No, pictures, everything. This is it.
01:25:24 I'm telling you, this is it.
01:25:26 >> All right, all right.
01:25:28 >> I'll see you later, okay?
01:25:30 >> Okay, at the party, all right?
01:25:32 >> Yeah. Bye.
01:25:34 >> Bye.
01:25:36 >> Lisa, you're going to join us at the party, right?
01:25:39 >> See you, star.
01:25:41 [chatter]
01:25:44 [chatter]
01:25:47 [chatter]
01:25:51 [chatter]
01:25:55 [chatter]
01:25:59 [chatter]
01:26:03 [chatter]
01:26:06 [horn honking]
01:26:31 [horn honking]
01:26:34 [horn honking]
01:26:45 [music playing]
01:26:51 [music playing]
01:26:54 [phone ringing]
01:27:09 [phone ringing]
01:27:18 [phone ringing]
01:27:21 >> Mrs. Boyer? Come on in, please.
01:27:36 You're not going to find anything now.
01:27:38 >> I guess you're right.
01:27:40 >> Nobody's going anywhere tonight, believe me.
01:27:43 I'll buzz you if things change.
01:27:45 >> Thank you, George.
01:28:13 >> Hello.
01:28:16 >> Hello.
01:28:21 >> God, you're soaking.
01:28:23 >> I had to walk the whole way. Couldn't get a cab.
01:28:25 >> Come in, come in, come in.
01:28:28 You know, I was a little surprised when you called.
01:28:38 I mean, after what happened in the park.
01:28:40 The funny thing is, I was going to call you.
01:28:43 >> You were?
01:28:45 >> Yeah, um, I thought about everything.
01:28:48 And I decided that I was wrong.
01:28:51 I mean, it's the modern world, right?
01:28:54 And I'm a modern girl.
01:28:58 >> I feel just awful.
01:29:01 Do you have anything to drink?
01:29:03 >> You want some cocoa?
01:29:06 >> Cocoa?
01:29:08 Okay.
01:29:10 >> You know, that's what I like about you, Alex.
01:29:21 All the other guys are always trying to impress me
01:29:24 with how great they are or how sensitive they are.
01:29:27 But you, you're always trying to impress people
01:29:29 with how miserable you are.
01:29:32 >> No, I don't.
01:29:34 >> No, I mean, it works. It does.
01:29:36 You are insensitive.
01:29:38 You don't care how anyone else feels.
01:29:41 But you always look so unhappy that...
01:29:44 Well, it's just so cute.
01:29:47 So, that's why I was going to call you.
01:30:00 I decided that I've been too hung up on having a relationship.
01:30:05 >> Well, they'll kill you every time.
01:30:07 >> I want to be looser.
01:30:09 I just want to have fun.
01:30:12 >> My wife tried to stab me today.
01:30:15 >> Well, that ought to tell you something.
01:30:19 So, listen.
01:30:24 Why don't you ask me again?
01:30:28 >> Ask you what?
01:30:32 >> You know, just ask me again.
01:30:37 I'll say yes.
01:30:40 And it'll just be our little secret.
01:30:46 [silence]
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01:31:14 >> Okay.
01:31:16 Oh, what? What? What?
01:31:19 [gunshots]
01:31:25 [phone ringing]
01:31:36 >> Hello?
01:31:40 >> It's me.
01:31:42 >> Is that you?
01:31:44 >> Of course it's me. Who do you think it is?
01:31:47 Well?
01:31:52 >> You up?
01:31:54 >> Yeah. I was just reading.
01:31:57 >> I called earlier. No answer.
01:32:01 >> Yeah, I went out.
01:32:03 >> In this weather?
01:32:05 >> Well, I didn't get very far.
01:32:09 [sighs]
01:32:11 >> You think I'll be able to get across town?
01:32:18 >> I don't know.
01:32:21 I'd be surprised.
01:32:24 >> I could try.
01:32:28 >> You could?
01:32:33 Okay. Bye.
01:32:39 [music]
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01:32:50 >> Taxi!
01:33:15 [music]
01:33:18 >> 52 Gramercy Park, please.
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