Life with Elizabeth | show | 1953 | Official Featurette

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Elizabeth and Alvin are a married couple who live an ordinary suburban life, but inevitably managed to get into predicam | dHNfNmtLUndvcWlTa28

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Transcript
00:00 [music]
00:08 As we said at the top of our show, we wanted to give you a little added value in this retrospective.
00:13 When Betty White kindly agreed to be Elizabeth for us again, all of us at Channel 13 were thrilled.
00:19 We think you will be too.
00:21 [music]
00:24 And now, Betty White in Life with Elizabeth, featuring Peter Michael Goetz. I'm Jack Nars.
00:32 In tonight's incident, Elizabeth tries to bring her husband Alvin into the 21st century with all its fancy gadgets.
00:40 Some things never change, however.
00:44 Elizabeth, do you really think Alvin is ready for a change? He seems, well, a little set in his ways.
00:52 Well, sure he is, but there are so many exciting developments in the world. Well, we should be keeping up.
00:58 True, but you know Alvin's pet saying, "Why teach an old dog new tricks if he can't even do the old tricks?"
01:06 [laughter]
01:08 Pet saying? My conscience is getting funnier in his golden years.
01:14 You're not up to one of your old stunts, are you, Elizabeth?
01:18 Me? Now, why would you think that?
01:22 [phone ringing]
01:27 Alvin, will you get that?
01:29 Yeah, okay.
01:31 [laughter]
01:33 Hello.
01:34 Hi, honey. How are you this morning?
01:36 [laughter]
01:38 Would you like a nice cappuccino?
01:42 Elizabeth, you know I prefer my coffee to come from freeze-dried beans, as God intended, not some fancy contraption.
01:51 Oh, Alvin, get with it. That's Purple Haze, Primo Blend from Borneo. I got it at the new Big Bucks.
01:58 And surely you can't object to this free phone.
02:01 There's no such thing as a free phone, Elizabeth. Please, take it back.
02:04 No, really, the phone is free. And the first hundred minutes are free, too.
02:08 Hundred minutes, eh? Well, that'll be your first call.
02:12 Oh, Alvin, don't be such a fuddy-duddy. I mean, the 21st century is around the corner, and we should be surfing the net.
02:22 Not without a wetsuit.
02:25 Well, at least we should be getting some new furniture.
02:28 I mean, you watched Milton Berle's very first show from that same Bark-a-lounger in there.
02:34 He was a lot funnier in a dress than that RuPaul fellow.
02:38 I'm serious, you old stick-in-the-mud. We've got to shake things up a little.
02:43 When you get home, we're going to go furniture shopping.
02:45 Uh-huh. Last time we did that, I got stuck in a beanbag chair. No dice.
02:51 No beanbags this time, Alvin. I'm thinking neo-modern. Oh, lots of glass and chrome.
03:02 I shall leave you at this point, Elizabeth.
03:14 Well, he didn't say I couldn't bring the furniture to him.
03:17 I don't know if that's such a great idea, Elizabeth. Alvin would be happy to sit in that Bark-a-lounger until the 22nd century.
03:25 We'll see.
03:30 I'm sorry. I thought this was 7B. On Earth.
03:35 You've come to the right place, honey. Home. Don't you just love it?
03:40 There is not a word in the English language to describe how I'm feeling about this.
03:45 It'll grow on you.
03:46 So will fungus.
03:48 Oh, honey, come on. Just give it a chance.
03:52 People of our generation don't have to live in the past.
03:56 Well, you're caught. Sam writes computer code in his spare time. Change is good.
04:02 No, I guess writing code is a step up from writing bad checks.
04:06 You know, Elizabeth, I like things to be familiar.
04:09 Oh, cable timer. There's only one thing left for us to do.
04:15 Let's put on our long johns and light the gas lamps and probably just break out the dominoes.
04:22 What's wrong with dominoes? I like dominoes.
04:26 Well, I prefer poodle scourge, but that's beside the point.
04:30 What is the point, Elizabeth?
04:31 The point is we're never too old to change.
04:35 You can't teach an old dog new tricks.
04:37 Oh, please don't give me that old refrain. That's older than you are, Alvin.
04:41 I don't buy it.
04:43 Speaking of buying, Elizabeth.
04:45 Oh, that's another beauty of this beautiful room.
04:48 If we, for some silly reason, don't like it, we can return it within 30 days.
04:53 We can return it how? With your muscle and my brain?
04:57 I have retired from heavy lifting, Elizabeth.
05:00 Oh, Alvin, you're so funny sometimes. You crack me up.
05:05 Oh, my gosh. Where is my chair?
05:08 Well, you remember that nice homeless man that always sat and sits on the ground in front of Cantor's?
05:14 Oh, no.
05:15 Don't tell me.
05:16 He doesn't have to sit on the ground anymore.
05:20 Well, I hope you collected all the change that fell into that chair.
05:23 Well, how do you think we could afford all this?
05:27 What am I going to do with you, Elizabeth?
05:29 And where am I going to sit while I figure that out?
05:32 Alvin, this is your new throne.
05:35 Oh, you'll forget about that old bark-a-lounger in no time once you spend five minutes in the relax-o-matic.
05:42 I don't think so. Don't let me near that monstrosity.
05:47 Who posed for that, your mother?
05:49 I'm cutting off your metamucil, wise guy. Now, come on, just sit down.
05:56 Mr. Spock, join me on the bridge. There are alien life forms on this planet.
06:01 Sit down, Captain, before I beam you up.
06:06 Now, just sit back and relax. Not another word.
06:10 There you are. See, you're starting to unwind.
06:13 Your shoulders are loosening. Your back is warming.
06:17 My head is spinning.
06:19 Not a word.
06:21 [Snap]
06:23 [Laughter]
06:26 Not a word.
06:28 [Snap]
06:30 [Laughter]
06:34 Okay, I guess you've had your test drive, Alvin. What do you think?
06:42 I think I'd like to try that cappuccino now.
06:46 Elizabeth?
06:50 I can't believe you got away with that, Elizabeth.
06:53 I had five to one odds that he'd never sit in that thing.
06:56 Oh, you haven't seen anything yet.
06:59 Wait till he sees the mirror in the bedroom.
07:03 Elizabeth, aren't you a shame?
07:07 [Laughter]
07:10 [Applause]
07:12 [BLANK_AUDIO]

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