• il y a 2 ans
Transcription
00:00 This is you laugh, you lose with Kane.
00:02 *laughs*
00:03 Dang it!
00:04 You failed, you lost, idiot.
00:06 *laughs*
00:07 Already?
00:08 I know you're gonna lose today, Kane, because people notice there's a trend in my, uh, in my humor of laughing at dumb kids.
00:16 *laughs*
00:18 *laughs*
00:19 Okay, this is f*cking- this is f*cking-
00:21 *laughs*
00:23 Jesus.
00:25 I know I- oh, does it not have a front panel?
00:28 It's missing an arm.
00:30 Oh, now I feel bad.
00:32 Oh, is it?
00:34 Oh, no!
00:36 It makes it sad, but not any less creepy.
00:38 *laughs*
00:40 If I saw that!
00:42 Dude!
00:44 Sam! Sam!
00:46 Sam!
00:48 What you doing? You got a hot dog, buddy!
00:50 *laughs*
00:52 You got a hot dog, buddy!
00:54 God dang, tell you what!
00:56 You're killing it, Sam!
00:58 God, roll tide, Sam! God dang!
01:00 Who names their dog Sam?
01:02 That's peak happiness.
01:04 I wanna reach Sam level one day.
01:06 *laughs*
01:08 *laughs*
01:10 Alright, we both laughed, Kane. You know what that means?
01:12 You have to spin the wheel of pain!
01:16 No!
01:18 Yeah! Running on!
01:20 You didn't sign up for this at all.
01:22 Here we go.
01:24 Yo, Natureh-slap yourself!
01:26 Like you mean it.
01:28 Like I mean it!
01:30 I don't recommend that, because I did that last time, and I actually-
01:32 it really hurt.
01:34 I thought my brain would stop me, but it didn't.
01:36 Okay, I'm ready.
01:38 I didn't lose, so yeah.
01:40 Three, two, one.
01:42 *slap*
01:44 I feel like you slapped me.
01:46 We both went "ah" at the same time.
01:48 *laughs*
01:50 One quick question. This one's easy.
01:52 What's two plus two?
01:54 WRONG!
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03:12 Alright, you know what? F*ck the wheel. I was just having
03:14 that, it so surprised me. You can laugh all you want.
03:16 Alright, I can't stop myself from
03:18 laughing honestly. It's a weakness.
03:20 I send this to you
03:22 as just...
03:24 It's just unfair.
03:26 When everyone rubs
03:28 your pregnant girls' b*tch head and says
03:30 congrats, but no one tickles your balls and say
03:32 well done. I know, right?
03:34 God. It's unfair. Where's my
03:36 credit? They all get, they take like
03:38 pregnancy pictures and all this happiness
03:40 and everyone's like, oh you're glowing.
03:42 And then everyone's like, yeah I'm glowing too.
03:44 What about me?
03:46 I participated. I helped.
03:48 Alright.
04:02 The fact that made me kind of even smile
04:04 is so stupid.
04:06 I should do two more. She's like, what?
04:08 Like you didn't have that toy? You don't know
04:10 what that is? It is a great toy.
04:12 You never had the *makes weird noises*
04:14 That was the best!
04:18 I forgot about those things honestly.
04:20 Unlocked the core memory.
04:22 I saw that and I'm like, holy sh*t.
04:24 They don't make toys like that anymore, man.
04:26 And my parents hated it.
04:28 So they'd go around the house *makes weird noises*
04:30 Then you could shake it
04:32 and go *makes weird noises*
04:34 And then you could shake it.
04:36 Yeah.
04:38 Why would I search to buy this on Amazon?
04:40 Just hypothetically asking.
04:42 Modem pipe toy. I don't know.
04:44 This idiot just sh*t
04:48 all over his own balls.
04:50 Ooh.
04:52 Yay.
04:54 Hell yeah. Maybe this one isn't funny for you
04:56 because you lived it.
04:58 I have to warn you about a possibility in your child's future.
05:00 No.
05:02 There may be a time when they discover
05:04 that they have a diaper.
05:06 And this would be about the toddler age, right?
05:08 A little bit.
05:10 And uh, they may try to take their diaper off.
05:12 No!
05:14 Put them in the onesie, alright?
05:16 So they can't get to it.
05:18 Jesus Christ, save yourself, please.
05:20 Oh god.
05:22 But this is why you give them dog food
05:24 so that they're dines.
05:26 So it's dry.
05:28 Bishop there, attacking his queen.
05:30 When he takes my bishop,
05:32 I can play knight there.
05:34 It's a triple fork.
05:36 Triple fork.
05:38 When he moves his king,
05:40 I play knight takes queen.
05:42 It's a discovery check!
05:44 He has to move his king again.
05:46 Fortnite King plays chess for the first time.
05:48 Oh my days.
05:50 That is the best play I've ever done.
05:52 That is the best play.
05:54 He takes my...
05:56 What?
05:58 What?
06:00 That's idiotic.
06:02 Oh!
06:04 *laughs*
06:06 I'm glad you liked that one.
06:08 That one was pretty funny.
06:10 *laughs*
06:12 It's like, if they move exactly
06:14 how I want them to, this will be an epic move.
06:16 And then they're just like,
06:18 "What are you doing?"
06:20 "That's my queen!"
06:22 Yeah, we're pretty bad at this.
06:24 But that's okay. I'm done.
06:26 No laughing.
06:28 *thunder*
06:30 *thunder*
06:32 *thunder*
06:34 *thunder*
06:36 That's me.
06:38 Relatable.
06:40 You worked hard, man.
06:42 I'm gonna work it today, Mary. Don't worry.
06:44 I'm getting in shape, girl.
06:46 Oh God.
06:48 Anyway, just gonna lay down.
06:50 You wanna get McDonald's tonight?
06:52 Man, I'm hungry.
06:54 Classic.
06:56 Classic.
06:58 How fast does that make you?
07:00 It makes me really fast.
07:02 Show me how fast, buddy.
07:04 *dramatic music*
07:06 *dramatic music*
07:08 *thud*
07:10 *crying*
07:12 They're crying too.
07:14 God damn it. Flash!
07:16 A similar scenario has happened to all of my kids
07:18 that can run.
07:20 They're like so...
07:22 You can't help but laugh.
07:24 They're excited.
07:26 I got some new shoes.
07:28 They make you run so fast.
07:30 Show me how fast you can run.
07:32 And you're like...
07:34 Sorry, buddy.
07:36 In fact, it only fell after two orbits
07:38 around the world.
07:40 He was fast.
07:42 *laughing*
07:44 *laughing*
07:46 *laughing*
07:48 *laughing*
07:50 *laughing*
07:52 *laughing*
07:54 You don't like that? Come on.
07:56 The leg out and everything on the way down?
07:58 You can hear the cat
08:00 running through the house, the bag, and the...
08:02 Yeah.
08:04 Momo would do the same. She gets terrified
08:06 if something's following her.
08:08 *thud*
08:10 *thud*
08:12 The quick ones don't seem to get you, Ken.
08:14 Yeah, the quick ones are...
08:16 It's like you know what's gonna happen, right?
08:18 Like, it's the ones that just hit you
08:20 with a surprise all of a sudden. Those are...
08:22 Alright, well I think this one's gonna get you stumped, Ken.
08:24 Alright, alright. I'm ready.
08:26 *thud*
08:28 *thud*
08:30 *thud*
08:32 *laughing*
08:34 *laughing*
08:36 *laughing*
08:38 Poor dog. We checked.
08:40 Dog is fine. Don't worry.
08:42 People always say that. The dog was fine.
08:44 Nobody checks. Nobody knows.
08:46 You know the dog is fine.
08:48 Come on. Dogs are amazing.
08:50 I wanna try it on Momo. See how she reacts.
08:52 *thud*
08:54 Bruh!
08:56 Bruh!
08:58 *thud*
09:00 It's just blown away right now.
09:02 *thud*
09:04 What? What the fuck, man?
09:06 What is this?
09:08 *music*
09:10 Oh.
09:12 Oh yeah.
09:14 So wholesome, isn't it?
09:16 Oh my god.
09:18 The penny slots. Oh, they're hitting it.
09:20 Have you seen these? You know what they are?
09:22 I've seen old people play in the slot machines before.
09:24 I haven't seen this one in particular.
09:26 What the fuck is it? What are they doing?
09:28 Yeah.
09:30 It's like the ultimate form of "It's rigged", right?
09:32 But they will tell you in full confidence.
09:34 Like, "No, no, no. I know how to win."
09:36 I can feel it when I walk in.
09:38 Then you pick your machine and you just sit there
09:40 for eight hours
09:42 until you make $100.
09:44 *sigh*
09:46 Because they have pachinko machines here in Japan, which is horrendous.
09:48 It's so loud.
09:50 You have like a million ball bearings
09:52 or whatever.
09:54 Just falling in a room and you can't hear
09:56 a single thing. But people stay there, yeah.
09:58 Forever.
10:00 I went once and I won money and a bag of potatoes.
10:02 Sorry, potato chips.
10:04 *laughs*
10:06 I was like, "Wow!"
10:08 Bag of potatoes.
10:10 They give you actual, like, a piece of gold to cash out
10:12 because it's illegal to, like, get money.
10:14 So you have to trade the gold
10:16 for cash with a little dude that sits outside.
10:18 It's really weird.
10:20 "Keep your gold."
10:22 Yeah, I was like, "This is way cooler than..."
10:24 "In this economy?
10:26 Shoot, get the gold!"
10:28 I don't know what kind of gold that was, but still.
10:30 *dog barks*
10:32 *dog barks*
10:38 This really feels like my dogs.
10:40 I can tell, though.
10:42 "Hey, hey, quit it!"
10:44 "Don't do it again!"
10:46 *dog barks*
10:48 *laughs*
10:50 I forgot about the slap at the end.
10:52 *laughs*
10:54 There's a lot to unpack in this picture right here.
10:56 He's drinking out of a...
10:58 He's drinking out of a fucking pot!
11:00 He's got a pot in front of his fireplace.
11:02 That's a fire hazard.
11:04 But he's protected.
11:06 So it's all good.
11:08 The kids can't get to him.
11:10 They can go down the stairs back.
11:12 No, they can't. You gotta safety gate on the stairs, too.
11:14 Yeah, but they can't open the safety gate, because it's covered by the radiator cover.
11:16 That's true.
11:18 How would you get in there?
11:20 You wouldn't.
11:22 The carpet back there, the bright hands...
11:24 Oh my god!
11:26 You're right, there is a lot to unpack.
11:28 I want to do this so bad.
11:30 So bad.
11:32 Chase kids with the freaking...
11:34 *laughs*
11:36 *screams*
11:38 *screams*
11:40 *screams*
11:42 *laughs*
11:44 He didn't get me.
11:46 Just gotta keep running.
11:48 Where do I go? I'm on a hill.
11:50 Oh no.
11:52 *laughs*
11:54 Help me, please!
11:56 Get out!
11:58 The legit fear, too.
12:00 Help me, friend! I'll push him down!
12:02 As long as you can run faster than him, you'll survive!
12:04 *sighs*
12:06 Who's controlling that?
12:08 *sighs*
12:10 I don't even know who this kid is.
12:12 This is a lot of their man.
12:14 They make the babies? Oh, flip it around!
12:16 Hey! Whoa!
12:18 So you think they would just kiss?
12:22 Or lay on top of each other?
12:24 You don't expect the full spin-a-rooney.
12:26 *laughs*
12:28 Hell yeah.
12:30 *laughs*
12:32 I'll let you figure it out.
12:34 I'll see how it takes.
12:36 Say again?
12:38 *laughs*
12:40 How did that happen again?
12:42 That's not quite it, Ken.
12:44 Keep going. Oh, it's not it? Okay, hang on.
12:46 There's only one reporter you'd want for this story.
12:48 A school bus gets stuck under a low bridge again.
12:50 A Caroline gets stuck under a low bridge.
12:52 *laughs*
12:54 Quick! Get Caroline!
12:56 Caroline, we're gonna get a scoop of the century!
12:58 Get down here right now!
13:00 Again? It's happened before?
13:02 Yeah.
13:04 This should be fun.
13:06 Oh.
13:08 Remember when we played Ken and I beat you really bad?
13:10 Remember that?
13:12 That was good.
13:14 No, I don't remember that at all.
13:16 You're getting old. Old brain.
13:18 They just overlaid our fight here.
13:20 Oh.
13:22 Oh yeah, Haruken. Yep.
13:24 Yep.
13:26 Can't drop the frames.
13:28 Oh, he's got a shield!
13:30 Oh, he's got a shield!
13:32 Oh, he's got a shield!
13:34 Oh, he's got a shield!
13:36 Oh, he's got a shield!
13:38 Oh, he's got a shield!
13:40 Oh, he's got a shield!
13:42 Oh, he's got a shield!
13:44 Oh, he's got a shield!
13:46 Oh, he's got a shield!
13:48 Oh, he's got a shield!
13:50 Oh, he's got a shield!
13:52 Oh, he's got a shield!
13:54 Oh, he's got a shield!
13:56 Oh, he's got a shield!
13:58 Oh, he's got a shield!
14:00 Oh, he's got a shield!
14:02 Oh, he's got a shield!
14:04 Oh, he's got a shield!
14:06 Oh, he's got a shield!
14:08 Oh, he's got a shield!
14:10 Oh, he's got a shield!
14:12 Oh, he's got a shield!
14:14 Oh, he's got a shield!
14:16 Oh, he's got a shield!
14:18 Oh, he's got a shield!
14:20 Oh, he's got a shield!
14:22 Oh, he's got a shield!
14:24 Oh, he's got a shield!
14:26 Oh, he's got a shield!
14:28 Oh, he's got a shield!
14:30 Oh, he's got a shield!
14:32 Oh, he's got a shield!
14:34 Oh, he's got a shield!
14:36 Oh, he's got a shield!
14:38 Oh, he's got a shield!
14:40 Oh, he's got a shield!
14:42 Oh, he's got a shield!
14:44 Oh, he's got a shield!
14:46 Oh, he's got a shield!
14:48 Oh, he's got a shield!
14:50 Oh, he's got a shield!
14:52 Oh, he's got a shield!
14:54 I feel like I don't know enough about the game to know if that was like a pro move or not, but it looked cool.
14:58 It's pretty epic.
15:00 Oh yeah?
15:02 To parry in the game you have to like, press forward like,
15:04 Yeah.
15:06 So you'll get hit if you mistime it.
15:08 Like it just parries the whole thing and kills him.
15:10 Yeah, that's what I was gonna say.
15:12 You know this scene, right?
15:14 Oh yeah, classic.
15:16 Classic.
15:18 Oh, I am so happy.
15:20 I was delayed.
15:22 I was delayed.
15:24 *laughs*
15:26 Hell yeah!
15:28 Hell yeah!
15:30 Acceptable.
15:32 Frodo's like, "Yeah, no, I get it, man. It's all good."
15:34 "Yeah, cool, dude, yeah. I get it. No worries."
15:36 Um.
15:38 What if he doesn't have a mom?
15:40 That's even worse.
15:42 Bro.
15:44 You're scaring the ho.
15:46 Um.
15:48 That's even worse.
15:50 Oh.
15:52 You think that's his mom or someone else? It's equally f***ed up.
15:54 If he doesn't make like, $500,000 a year
15:56 and have a mom,
15:58 nah, it's not gonna happen.
16:00 He's six foot tall.
16:02 He doesn't have a mom.
16:04 A mom?
16:06 But if he does have a mom and they're too close to each other,
16:08 then that's also a problem.
16:10 This is my nightmare.
16:12 I almost said this to you already.
16:14 He thinks he's playing Beat Saber.
16:16 Oh no.
16:18 Oh no.
16:22 Oh, poor guy.
16:26 I had nightmares.
16:28 Not even close as bad as this.
16:30 Oh god.
16:32 Yeah. What talent.
16:36 Wow, so good.
16:38 Yeah.
16:42 Woo.
16:44 Oh.
16:46 This is literally like,
16:50 a good comparison is like,
16:52 YouTubers going outside of their like,
16:54 fan bubble.
16:56 No, everybody's like, "Who? What are you?
16:58 Who are you? What are you doing?"
17:00 Yay.
17:02 No one's telling me how special I am
17:04 every second. What's going on here?
17:06 Well, that was
17:08 You Laugh, You Lose.
17:10 Man, we all laughed so hard, but that was very fun.
17:12 I enjoyed that a lot. If you did, smash like,
17:14 subscribe, check out Ken's channel.
17:16 Actually, really subscribe. I'm hard
17:18 stuck at 111 million.
17:20 Ken, tell him to subscribe. Yeah, subscribe.
17:22 You could possibly maybe win
17:24 a million dollars. Not related to
17:26 the subscribing, but you could.