A MAKEUP TUTORIAL PARODY
Transcript
00:00 Hi there! Today I will show you a simple makeup tutorial that will look a lot
00:05 easier than it actually is. Now keep in mind not everyone looks good with makeup
00:11 on and not everyone looks good without makeup on. First you'll need some
00:18 white vinegar. Go ahead and put some of that white vinegar into an empty spray
00:24 bottle. Next you'll need some extra virgin olive oil. Make sure it's organic
00:29 because organic means natural and that means it's good for you. And mixture is
00:33 extra virgin that means it hasn't been touched. Pour some of that olive oil into
00:39 a little pan, pot, whatever you have and if you're poor just put it in a paper
00:44 plate. That'll work out for you. Thank you. You'll also need some candies. Well just
00:50 in case you get hungry. We're only human. We love food and we get hungry. Some
00:54 Kleenex, a bottle of water because it's very important to hydrate and the
01:01 flashlight because you never know when the zombies might come. Besides flashlights
01:06 are cool. Forget you if you don't think so. And finally you'll need your fingers.
01:13 Get your mind out of the gutter. Alright so first you're gonna take a Kleenex and
01:19 get your vinegar that's in a bottle right? Did you put it in a bottle yet?
01:22 Alright and then you're gonna spray the vinegar onto the Kleenex you know.
01:27 Pretty simple right? Simple. And then you're gonna go ahead and just wipe your
01:33 face because cleansing your face with vinegar it's a very very healthy thing
01:38 to do. Oh and if it burns that's good that means it's doing the job and it's
01:42 killing a lot of germs. Just try to focus more in the cheek area because you
01:48 know cheeks are important. You know they're like bigger than everything else
01:51 on your face so just do your cheeks only. Alright next you want to take your
01:56 fingers because these are where the fingers come in and you want to just
02:00 pinch yourself you know that will create like a very very good blush you know.
02:05 Just you can decide your level alright. Everybody has a level. Alright so keep
02:11 pinching yourself to get to you know whatever you want to do till you get the
02:14 right blush. Not too hard though you know you don't want to abuse yourself you
02:18 just you're trying to just treat yourself to a nice beauty tip. You may
02:23 want to repeat this like several times a day you know just keep in mind to wash
02:28 your hands. You don't want germs or dirt you know because those bring pimples and
02:32 acne and just nobody wants pimples and acne right? So try to be nice to yourself
02:37 okay just wash your hands. You know you could do like a little twist in there
02:42 if you want. Again I hope you're not hurting yourself right. For those of you
02:46 that didn't really get much of a redness just keep in mind it was a nice face
02:50 massage wasn't it? I mean I feel so relaxed in the face area so if you
02:56 didn't get the redness effect you know what a nice massage. Alright next is
03:02 about adding some lip color to your lips. You know I didn't mention this as the
03:06 thing that you need in the list earlier but in this you'll need your teeth.
03:09 Alright unless you're an old lady you know get your teeth ready okay. Here's
03:13 what you're gonna do you're just gonna bite all the way around okay. Just gonna
03:18 do the top layer and the bottom layer. Don't try to be sexy with it. Don't be like
03:25 no just be normal okay just do it like a normal person. The more you bite your
03:32 lips you can even massage them out. The more you bite them you're gonna realize
03:37 that they're gonna cause redness you know like if you have lipstick on.
03:42 Just keep doing it so you feel like you got the right shade okay. This is
03:49 the same thing with the blush alright. So find your level because everybody has a
03:53 type. Timing does like really vary on this because I'm depending on how anemic
03:59 or pale you are you may need to go longer okay. So just keep biting those
04:06 lips alright. I'll be here. Alright for any of you who have dry skin and you know I've
04:12 just been suffering from dry skin for the longest time. Here's the best
04:16 solution or if you don't have dry skin you just got a little bit dry from all
04:19 the biting and the you know the pinching. Just uh that's where your olive oil
04:24 comes into play. So get ready to just dab a little of that Kleenex in there you
04:31 know make sure you're not dropping it anywhere you know cuz olive oil doesn't
04:36 stain but it does smell sometimes. You know you're just gonna put it on your
04:42 dry spots whatever you feel like you know there's a dry spot somewhere.
04:46 Oh whose cheeks are burning? Don't blame me. It's your fault for following me.
04:54 Alright so just take that olive oil and just use it on the areas you feel like
04:58 you need it you know and it could even become a lip gloss. Look how amazing and
05:06 shiny and nice and nourishing. Nourishing like this is healthy stuff. It has vitamin E.
05:11 Go search it. No seriously go do a Google search you'll find it like how amazing
05:16 it is to use olive oil on your skin. It keeps it younger you know if you're old
05:23 lady watching this just know you'll be 20 years old I promise go try it. You
05:28 know now I'm ready to go out. Who am I kidding I'm not going out anywhere. Why
05:33 are you going out? Are you gonna take me with you? You are? But I don't want to go
05:39 with you. Alright I hope you enjoyed this beauty tutorial and if you didn't then uh
05:45 why didn't you? But why? Why? I demand an answer. Alright guys so just subscribe
05:56 and you know for more tips or tips and more beauty tips because it's gonna be
06:02 all about beauty tips for me. See now you can have your mints and your water. Well I
06:10 have mint candy. Whatever candy you got prepared there you know you could have
06:13 yourself a little treat. You know you deserve it. You do you really deserve it.
06:21 Well you don't but it's okay have you a sip of water and a little piece of candy
06:27 and hopefully that'll make your day. Okay? By the way don't don't subscribe for more
06:33 beauty tips because this is my last one. Boo! Who else is tasting their olive oil
06:39 that was on their lips right now? It's good it's good for you that's better
06:43 that's falling like a real lip gloss and it's just...