Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00:00My name is Sergeant Joe Fink, working the 24-hour shift out of Homicide, and this is
00:00:08my workshop.
00:00:09The part of town that everybody knows about, but that nobody wants to see, where the tragedies
00:00:14are deeper, the ecstasies wilder, and the crime rate consistently higher than anywhere
00:00:18else.
00:00:19Skid Row.
00:00:20My beat.
00:00:22Skid Row.
00:00:23Skid Row.
00:00:51Skid Row.
00:01:21The most terrifying period in the history of my beat began in a little run down floor
00:01:38shop called Mushnick's.
00:01:42Good morning, Mrs. Shiva.
00:01:46How's things today?
00:01:48You're the same as usual, Mr. Mushnick.
00:01:50My sister's nephew Stanley died in Little Rock, Arkansas.
00:01:54Oh, what happened?
00:01:56He got blown up, who knows how.
00:01:58That's nice. Well, you would like maybe, as usual,
00:02:00some flowers for the funeral.
00:02:02Should all the tainters be forgot and never brought to mind?
00:02:06I thought possibly,
00:02:08because I always give to you all my funeral business,
00:02:11maybe you should possibly give to me a little portrait.
00:02:15Look on me, Mrs. Shiver.
00:02:17What am I, a philatelist?
00:02:19I sell on Skid Row nothing but cheap carnations.
00:02:22And I should give you a cut rate.
00:02:24I can't even afford water for the flowers.
00:02:26To my throat, I would be giving a cut.
00:02:29By draughts I dwelt in marble halls
00:02:33With vassals...
00:02:34Get out from the back!
00:02:38Excuse me, Mrs. Shiver, that Seymour...
00:02:41He's a nice boy.
00:02:42Why don't you let him sing?
00:02:44What, sing?
00:02:45Look, here I got a new customer.
00:02:47Brand new in the yellow vest.
00:02:48I should let the cleanup boy,
00:02:49but I can't even afford chase him out right away.
00:02:57Flowers fresh as the springtime, Mushnick's. Hello?
00:02:59Oh, hello, Dr. Farb.
00:03:01What can I do for you today?
00:03:02Listen, Mushnick, I haven't got much time.
00:03:04Send me over two gladiolas and a fern.
00:03:07Excellent. That's two dozen glads, one potted fern.
00:03:10No, no, no, Mushnick.
00:03:12Two gladiolas and one fern.
00:03:16You want, I should put two gladiolas
00:03:18in the pot with the ferns.
00:03:19No, one fern, one piece altogether, three pieces.
00:03:23I need it for my waiting room.
00:03:24Yeah, it's the filling for that.
00:03:26What?
00:03:27The filling for that.
00:03:28Good, I'll drill a bigger hole.
00:03:30You mean you want two crummy gladiolas
00:03:32and one crummy fern?
00:03:33What kind of a decoration is that?
00:03:34Listen, it's my flower budget for the week, Mushnick.
00:03:39Who can be a dentist on skid row?
00:03:41All right, excellent. I'll send Seymour right away.
00:03:43Who am I to argue with science?
00:03:45Hmm, make it snappy.
00:03:48Now you are going to get it.
00:03:50Oh, you are going to get it.
00:03:53Look.
00:03:57Seymour Krelborn.
00:04:00Now, Mrs. Shiver, we were talking from the funeral flowers,
00:04:02but the little...
00:04:04More funerals.
00:04:07Did you call me, Mr. Mushnick?
00:04:08No, I was calling John D. Rockefeller
00:04:11for to make a loan on my Rolls Royce.
00:04:14Sorry, I said it.
00:04:15Now, look, Seymour.
00:04:18You take two gladiolas.
00:04:20You'll cut them nice and even.
00:04:21You'll take one for him, you'll wrap them in a package,
00:04:24and you'll take them to Dr. Fowler.
00:04:26Right?
00:04:28Well, go already!
00:04:30Now, what can I do for you, sir?
00:04:32My name is Burson Fowler.
00:04:33Excellent. I am Gravis Mushnick.
00:04:35Oh, that's a good one.
00:04:36Now, who's going to get my roses?
00:04:37I'll take care of you, Mrs. Shiver.
00:04:39Come right over here.
00:04:41You would like maybe some orchids for a nice girl?
00:04:44No, I think I'd like a couple of dozen carnations.
00:04:46Carnations?
00:04:48A person can't turn around these days.
00:04:50Somebody shouldn't drop dead.
00:04:52You've had more than your share of bad luck, Mrs. Shiver.
00:04:54Bad luck, she calls it.
00:04:56You should have so many people kick off.
00:04:58You'd have somebody fall on top of you, too.
00:05:00What about the carnations?
00:05:02You said you wanted some roses.
00:05:03Yeah, for Stanley.
00:05:08My carnations.
00:05:11You should see what that seamore is...
00:05:13Oh, here are your carnations.
00:05:15Wait, I'll wrap them for you.
00:05:17Oh, that's all right. I'll leave them here.
00:05:23Why not?
00:05:27Of course, what else?
00:05:30They are all right.
00:05:31Well, I've had better.
00:05:32Well, this is a small shop.
00:05:34That's okay.
00:05:35You know, those big places,
00:05:36they're full of pretty flowers, expensive flowers.
00:05:38When you raise them for looks and smell,
00:05:40you're bound to lose some food value.
00:05:41I like to eat these little out-of-the-way places.
00:05:44Oh!
00:05:45Such a thing, eating flowers.
00:05:47Look, don't knock it until you try it, huh?
00:05:51Look what happened.
00:05:54This is what I was trying to tell you before.
00:05:57Look on him, everybody.
00:05:58Look at the quality of his work.
00:06:00I ask you, when I fire him,
00:06:03where is he going to get such another good job?
00:06:05You mean I'm fired?
00:06:06No, I'm electing a new manager.
00:06:08I'm electing a new president from the United States.
00:06:11Yes, you are fired!
00:06:13Gravis, you can't do that.
00:06:14Who? Who can't?
00:06:16I didn't mean it.
00:06:18You didn't mean it? You never mean it.
00:06:20You didn't mean it the time you put up the bouquet
00:06:22with the get-well card in the funeral parlor
00:06:25and sent the black lilies to the old lady in the hospital.
00:06:28You didn't mean it.
00:06:29But this time, I, Gravis Mushnick, mean it!
00:06:34He means it.
00:06:36But, gee, Mr. Mushnick,
00:06:37I always try to do what's right,
00:06:39and I'm crazy about flowers.
00:06:41I like flowers almost as much as Audrey does.
00:06:43Excellent. You're fired.
00:06:45Why don't you give him a chance to resurrect himself?
00:06:47I give him a chance to quit.
00:06:48I ain't gonna quit.
00:06:49You're a brave boy. You're fired.
00:06:52But that ain't fair, Mr. Mushnick.
00:06:54You know what I'm doing?
00:06:55I'm working on a special surprise plant just for you.
00:06:58I'm growing a plant like you ain't never seen before.
00:07:00Excellent! I can't even sell the plants I got in my shop.
00:07:03Out, you! Now, wait a minute.
00:07:05He's got a new kind of plant you ought to look at.
00:07:07I don't look on flowers, Mr. Yellow Vest.
00:07:09I got ancestors in the flower business for 200 years,
00:07:12but I got one shop on Skid Row, one stinking shop.
00:07:15I don't even like flowers!
00:07:16You don't understand what I mean.
00:07:18Look, I've eaten in flower shops all over the world,
00:07:21and I've noticed that the places that have the most weird
00:07:23and unusual plants do the best business.
00:07:24See? See? See?
00:07:27What is this, a tango?
00:07:29All right.
00:07:31Explain me more.
00:07:32Well?
00:07:33I remember one place that had a whole wall
00:07:35covered with poison ivy.
00:07:36People came from miles around to look at that wall,
00:07:38and they stayed to buy it.
00:07:39The owner got rich?
00:07:40No. He scratched himself to death in an insane asylum.
00:07:43Oh! That was my cousin Harry.
00:07:46All right. All right.
00:07:49You go home, and you get this fancy-schmancy plant,
00:07:52and you bring it back here,
00:07:53and if Mr. Yellow Vest Fouch says it's a draw,
00:07:55you still got a job.
00:07:56If he don't, out you go to Bodie, right?
00:07:59Don't worry. You'll like it. You'll see.
00:08:07This is Radio KSIK.
00:08:10You've been listening to music for old invalids.
00:08:13Our next selection is entitled Sick Room Serenade.
00:08:17Seymour, is that you?
00:08:19Yeah, Ma.
00:08:21Come in here. Look at my top.
00:08:24But, Ma, you're already in the hospital.
00:08:26I'm not in the hospital.
00:08:27I'm in the hospital.
00:08:29I'm in the hospital.
00:08:30I'm in the hospital.
00:08:31I'm in the hospital.
00:08:33I'm in the hospital.
00:08:34I'm in the hospital.
00:08:35I'm in the hospital.
00:08:36But, Ma, I already seen your tongue.
00:08:39Have you no sympathy for your poor mother,
00:08:42laughing at her and mocking her illness,
00:08:44and she's got one foot in the grave?
00:08:46Oh, I didn't mean it.
00:08:47Oh, you never mean it.
00:08:48Oh, come on. Look at my tongue.
00:08:51A tongue's a tongue, Ma.
00:08:52They all look the same to me.
00:08:53Oh, did you stop at Dr. Mallard's
00:08:56and get the results of my tests?
00:08:58Yeah. He said there's nothing wrong with you.
00:08:59Oh, not Dr. Mallard.
00:09:01He's one doctor I thought would tell the truth.
00:09:03He said you should be playing fullback for the Rams.
00:09:06He wants me dead.
00:09:08I'll bet he's assistant coroner.
00:09:10Well, I got a bag, huh?
00:09:11And I know I've got my goiters coming back.
00:09:14I can feel it every morning after breakfast.
00:09:16Yeah, that's when you take those great...
00:09:18Oh!
00:09:20What you got, a little surprise for me?
00:09:22Open it up and see.
00:09:23All right.
00:09:27Oh!
00:09:30Dr. Slurpsaddle's famous tonic.
00:09:34Wait here.
00:09:37To be taken internally or externally
00:09:39for pain and neuritis, neuralgia, headache...
00:09:44If hit by a truck, call your physician.
00:09:47Alcoholic content 98%.
00:09:51Ha-ha!
00:09:53Oh, Seymour, you'll never know what this is gonna do for me.
00:10:04Oh, I can feel that surge of warm health going through me already.
00:10:10Look, Ma, I gotta get my plant and hurry back to the shop.
00:10:13You mean that lousy weed out in the kitchen?
00:10:15Yeah, and if Mr. Mushnick doesn't like it, he's gonna fire me.
00:10:20Apparently, my hearing is going out on me.
00:10:24I get the distinct impression it's your job security.
00:10:27Depends on what Mushnick thinks of that thing.
00:10:30Gee, it looks worse than it did this morning when I went to work.
00:10:33I wish I knew what to do with it.
00:10:35Well, if you asked me, I'd pitch it out in the trash.
00:10:37I don't like my house cluttered up with rotten vegetables.
00:10:40Look, Ma, I gotta hurry. Can I bring you anything?
00:10:42Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Bring me the evening news.
00:10:45They're running a self-diagnosis contest.
00:10:48The winner gets to go to Mayo Clinic. Ha-ha!
00:10:52Bye, Ma.
00:10:53Bye, son. I'll see you at the rosy edge of dawn.
00:10:56Drink to me, oh, beware thine eyes
00:11:00And I will...
00:11:03And I will...
00:11:06Hey, put this on my bill.
00:11:11Well, here it is, everybody.
00:11:13What do you think of it?
00:11:15Well... it sure is different.
00:11:17It looks delicious, but don't you think it's kind of stale?
00:11:19Well, it hasn't been feeling too well.
00:11:21You called that a fancy plant?
00:11:22It looks like it never spent an LT day in its entire life.
00:11:25I don't care. I like it anyway.
00:11:27You? You like even skunk cabbage.
00:11:30Yeah. What kind of a plant is this, Seymour?
00:11:33Well, I'm not sure.
00:11:35I got the seeds from a Japanese gardener over on Central Avenue.
00:11:38He found them in with an order he got from a plantation next to a cranberry farm.
00:11:42Fine. Fine. You don't even know what is this plant you're growing.
00:11:45Well, I gave it a name.
00:11:47What name?
00:11:48Audrey...
00:11:49What? You gave it a dirty name? You can't even mention it?
00:11:52Well, I named it Audrey, Jr.
00:11:55Ah! You named it after me!
00:11:58Oh, really? That's the most exciting thing anyone's ever done to me!
00:12:02You poor kid.
00:12:03I don't think it's so much I should keep on spending $10 a week on your salary.
00:12:08But Gravis, he named it after me!
00:12:10I know, and if they keep it, they'll name it Mushnick's Folly...
00:12:13because I'll be in jail for non-payment of taxes!
00:12:15Are you crazy?
00:12:16Who, who?
00:12:17You, you!
00:12:18That's probably the only plant of its kind in the world.
00:12:20Don't you realize if Seymour can nurse that thing back to health...
00:12:22you'll have people coming here from all over?
00:12:24You think so, you foul-mouth.
00:12:25I know so, you Mushnick.
00:12:26That's all I'm saying on the subject.
00:12:28Besides, I've got to get home. My wife's making gardenias for dinner.
00:12:32Good night, you fowl.
00:12:33Good night. And I'll see you tomorrow.
00:12:36Crazy about kosher flowers.
00:12:39He's a nice man.
00:12:41Maybe he knows what he's talking about.
00:12:43Maybe he's not so stupid.
00:12:45I'll tell you what I'll do.
00:12:47I'll keep you and this dumbbell, Jr., for a week.
00:12:50If you can nurse it back to health, you both can stay.
00:12:52If you can't, you're both fired.
00:12:54Oh, gee, thank you, Mr. Mushnick.
00:12:59Don't feel sad, Seymour.
00:13:02Don't waste your pity on me, Audrey. I'm not worth it.
00:13:05Who says you're not?
00:13:07Everybody.
00:13:09Yeah, I know.
00:13:11But I think you're a fine figurative of a man...
00:13:14and I know that Audrey, Jr. will be the sweetest thing in the whole wide world.
00:13:19Well, I don't know.
00:13:21I bet every kind of fancy fertilizer and atomic plant food...
00:13:24and distilled mineral water you can buy, but it just gets sicker and sicker.
00:13:28Don't worry.
00:13:30You're gonna be another Luther Glendale.
00:13:32Pasadena.
00:13:34Burbank.
00:13:36Good night, Seymour.
00:13:38Good night, Audrey.
00:13:48What's the matter, little plant?
00:13:50Haven't I done everything I could for you?
00:13:53Where did I goof?
00:13:56You're the first little plant I ever tried to grow...
00:13:59and if you die, I don't know what I'll do.
00:14:01Please don't die.
00:14:05I'll get you some water, okay?
00:14:21Oh, gee.
00:14:23You opened up just like you do every night at sunset.
00:14:27I wish I knew how to make you grow.
00:14:30Here, let me move this out of your way so you can breathe.
00:14:33Ow! Ow, ow, ow, ow!
00:14:37Hey, what happened?
00:14:39How come you woke up?
00:14:41Blood?
00:14:43You like blood?
00:14:45You like blood?
00:14:48Oh, you must be kidding.
00:14:51Well, we'll see.
00:15:01I don't know what I'm doing for you.
00:15:06Ow!
00:15:08Ow!
00:15:13Oh, who would have thought it?
00:15:16Well, I guess there's just no accounting for people's tastes.
00:15:31Seymour!
00:15:33My boy!
00:15:34You're the most magnanimous person in the whole world!
00:15:37Isn't he, Morty? Isn't he beautiful?
00:15:39Isn't he delicious?
00:15:40Isn't he got the two-dollar raise?
00:15:42What happened to your fingers?
00:15:44A bee stings.
00:15:45So how come I'm all of a sudden so wonderful?
00:15:47Five bees, one for each finger?
00:15:49Ten bees.
00:15:50Did you say I was getting a two-dollar raise?
00:15:52Correct, my very excellent Seymour.
00:15:54Ten bees.
00:15:55What did I do now?
00:15:56Don't you know what you did?
00:15:58Just look!
00:16:01Oh, boy, look at that!
00:16:03It grew!
00:16:04It's almost a foot long.
00:16:06Is it empirical?
00:16:07It grows like a cold sore from the lip.
00:16:11Oh, hello, young pretty ladies.
00:16:13What can Gravis Mushnick do for you?
00:16:15Well, we saw your sign outside about the Audrey Jr.
00:16:17So we thought we'd come in and take a look.
00:16:19Well, give a look.
00:16:20That makes four people a day who've come in just to look at it.
00:16:23Oh, did you?
00:16:24Is that just too much?
00:16:26Oh, what kind of plant is it?
00:16:28It's an Audrey Jr.
00:16:29Where was it you got in trouble with ten bees?
00:16:31Well, is that all?
00:16:32I mean, doesn't it have a scientific name?
00:16:33Yes, of course, but who could denounce it?
00:16:35You would like maybe to buy something.
00:16:37Well, we don't have any money.
00:16:39Except $2,000.
00:16:41But that's just to spend on flowers.
00:16:43So we don't have any of our own.
00:16:45Isn't that a drag?
00:16:46You've got just $2,000 just for to spend on flowers?
00:16:50That's right.
00:16:51Who died? The Chamber of Commerce?
00:16:53Well, it worked for Kookamonga High School.
00:16:55We're building a float.
00:16:56For the Rose Bowl Parade.
00:16:57Which is made out of flowers.
00:16:58Thousands of them.
00:16:59And we're on the committee.
00:17:00That picks the florist.
00:17:01And then glues on the flowers.
00:17:04Gee, that sure is a mad plant.
00:17:06Wow, yeah.
00:17:07Seymour here invented it.
00:17:09He did?
00:17:10Thousands of flowers.
00:17:11Girls, girls, girls, girls, girls.
00:17:13Please don't damage the horticulturist.
00:17:17Tell me, how come you don't buy all these thousands of flowers from Gravis Mushnik?
00:17:21My flowers got something the others don't.
00:17:24What's that?
00:17:25The cheek.
00:17:26Well, gee, if your shop is good enough to develop the Audrey Jr.
00:17:29I guess it can get us everything we need.
00:17:31Yeah, we'll talk it over with the rest of the committee.
00:17:33Excellent.
00:17:34Well, we gotta run now. Bye, all.
00:17:35Bye, Seymour.
00:17:36Bye.
00:17:37Bye, girls.
00:17:42A son.
00:17:44A son.
00:17:45Look, Audrey.
00:17:46I got a son.
00:17:48Oh, gee, Mr. Mushnik.
00:17:50What, Mr. Mushnik?
00:17:51I don't want you should call me Mr. Mushnik anymore.
00:17:53I want you should call me Dad.
00:17:55Okay, Dad.
00:17:57Isn't that beautiful?
00:17:59Seymour Krelborn.
00:18:00Come over here, my son.
00:18:02I want to talk on you about the future.
00:18:05Look on this fly trap.
00:18:07Look on it.
00:18:08Soon we got no more skid row.
00:18:10We will be rich.
00:18:12Us.
00:18:13I am building for you a giant greenhouse in which you are making impossible flowers.
00:18:18Which in turn I am selling at ridiculous prices in my giant new flower saloon in Beverly Hills.
00:18:26Do you see that big sign in the sky?
00:18:29It is saying Gravis Mushnik in French.
00:18:33Isn't it exciting?
00:18:35And we'll have an orchestra right by the cash register.
00:18:38And Gravis will wave his arms.
00:18:40And the orchestra will play Mendelssohn's spring song.
00:18:43And I'll come out in a gown wrapped by somebody expensive and say...
00:18:47The carnations are $600 a dozen, two dozen for a thousand.
00:18:51It's a bargain.
00:18:52Get them while they last.
00:18:53Stop shouting.
00:18:55My uncle Moshe's brother Yankel just passed away.
00:18:58He turned to fly New Jersey.
00:19:01Tell me.
00:19:02How much are the carnations today?
00:19:04The carnations are $600 a dozen.
00:19:06Why are they letting him run around loose?
00:19:09Please, please excuse my son, Mrs. Shiva.
00:19:11Just point to anything in the store and it is yours.
00:19:14I mean...
00:19:15That's right.
00:19:16The cash register maybe, huh?
00:19:18Wait a minute.
00:19:19Here.
00:19:21Here are several dozen carnations on the house...
00:19:25Courtesy of Gravis Mushnik, the bloom tycoon.
00:19:28That's my dad.
00:19:29Thanks.
00:19:31Thanks very much.
00:19:33Only tell me.
00:19:34Why are you so happy?
00:19:36Not only did my uncle Moshe's brother Yankel die...
00:19:41He turned to fly New Jersey.
00:19:44You should also give some flowers to that poor dead plant.
00:19:48Good morning, Mr. Mushnik.
00:19:50Good morning.
00:19:52Good morning, Mrs. Shiva.
00:19:53Look what happened to my plant, Dad.
00:19:55Who are you calling Dad? Who, who?
00:19:57Oh, no.
00:19:58And it was so beautiful just a few seconds ago.
00:20:01Excellent.
00:20:02Just a few seconds ago I gave away dozens of carnations free to Mrs. Shiva.
00:20:06I didn't mean it.
00:20:08You have perhaps an explanation.
00:20:10No, but if you give me a minute, I'll think of one.
00:20:12I can see it all now.
00:20:14We are in the poor house.
00:20:16That big sign in the sky.
00:20:18It is reading,
00:20:20Seymour Krelbo and rest in peace.
00:20:23In Arabic!
00:20:24Oh, you've got to give him another chance.
00:20:26You promise me a week, Mr. Mushnik.
00:20:28I'll sit up all night with that plant.
00:20:30It'll be healthy in the morning.
00:20:31You'll see.
00:20:32I promise.
00:20:33I promise.
00:20:36Feed me.
00:20:42Feed me.
00:20:46Feed me!
00:20:52Who said that?
00:20:53You said that.
00:20:54You said that!
00:20:56Mmm.
00:20:57Mmm.
00:20:58Mmm.
00:20:59Mmm.
00:21:00Mmm.
00:21:01Mmm.
00:21:02Mmm.
00:21:03Mmm.
00:21:04Who said that?
00:21:05Mmm.
00:21:06Mmm.
00:21:07Mmm.
00:21:08Mmm.
00:21:09Mmm.
00:21:10Mmm.
00:21:11Mmm.
00:21:12Mmm.
00:21:13Mmm.
00:21:14Mmm.
00:21:15Mmm.
00:21:16Mmm.
00:21:17Mmm.
00:21:18Mmm.
00:21:19Mmm.
00:21:20Mmm.
00:21:24Mmm.
00:21:30I think she's in a better mood.
00:21:32She is.
00:21:33Look at me, I'm all cut to pieces, but maybe I can find another drop here some place.
00:21:43That's the best I can do.
00:21:51More.
00:21:52More.
00:21:53But I'm already anemic.
00:21:56Feed me more.
00:21:59Gee, Junior.
00:22:00I'd be happy to give you anything I got, but I've got to keep a little blood for myself
00:22:04or I'll be in worse shape than Ma.
00:22:08I'm sorry, Junior.
00:22:10I'll go for a walk.
00:22:11Maybe I'll think of something.
00:23:01Oh!
00:23:02Oh!
00:23:03Oh!
00:23:04Oh!
00:23:05Oh!
00:23:06Oh!
00:23:07Oh!
00:23:08Oh!
00:23:09Oh!
00:23:10Oh!
00:23:11Oh!
00:23:12Oh!
00:23:13Oh!
00:23:14Oh!
00:23:15Oh!
00:23:16Oh!
00:23:17Oh!
00:23:18Oh!
00:23:19Oh!
00:23:20Oh!
00:23:21Oh!
00:23:22Oh!
00:23:23Oh!
00:23:24Oh!
00:23:25Oh!
00:23:26Oh!
00:23:27Oh!
00:23:28Oh!
00:23:29Oh!
00:23:30Oh!
00:23:31Oh!
00:23:32Oh!
00:23:33Oh!
00:23:35Oh!
00:23:36Oh, my God!
00:24:06Daddy, there's somebody out there!
00:24:36Feed me!
00:24:43Feed me!
00:24:47Look, chowhound, don't bother me.
00:24:51I got problems of my own.
00:24:55Feed me!
00:24:58Feed me!
00:25:00Look, chowhound, don't bother me.
00:25:03I got problems of my own.
00:25:05Feed me!
00:25:06I'm sorry, pal. I'm fresh out of blood.
00:25:08Talk to somebody else.
00:25:10I'm hungry!
00:25:11I don't care what you are.
00:25:13Can't you see I'm knocked out?
00:25:15I just killed a man.
00:25:16I'm a murderer.
00:25:18You think it's fun to be a murderer?
00:25:20You think it's fun to haul around a sack full of food?
00:25:25Oh, no, junior.
00:25:26What kind of guy do you think I am?
00:25:28I'm starved.
00:25:34Maybe just a snack.
00:25:44That looks great.
00:25:56Now, that is what I call a salad.
00:25:59What do you call that salad?
00:26:00Caesarean.
00:26:02Well, before the next course,
00:26:04I think I'll have a nice cigar.
00:26:06All right?
00:26:07You would like maybe a cigar?
00:26:11You don't smoke cigars.
00:26:13What am I thinking about?
00:26:14Where are the matches?
00:26:18You know what I found?
00:26:19What?
00:26:20I'm looking for the matches.
00:26:22And I found I left the money in Doris's suit.
00:26:28Here's your mock chicken legs.
00:26:29You don't have any money?
00:26:34So what else is new?
00:26:36All right.
00:26:37All right.
00:26:38I made a mistake.
00:26:39After all, a man is entitled.
00:26:41Go on.
00:26:42This is your story.
00:26:43I'll wait for the punch.
00:26:45Don't get smart with me, girlie.
00:26:47I'll have you know that in my shop in the cash register,
00:26:50I'm having the total day's receipts,
00:26:52which is summing up to more than $9.
00:26:55You'll bring the rest of the food,
00:26:57then I'll go to the shop and get the money.
00:27:00You're playing my favorite song.
00:27:03Now, look here, buster.
00:27:05One of you is going to go down right now and get the loot,
00:27:08while the other one stays here until the first one gets back,
00:27:12if you get what I mean.
00:27:14Oh, fine.
00:27:15In this fancy schmancy restaurant,
00:27:17you are holding hostages, right?
00:27:19All right.
00:27:21Excellent.
00:27:23You eat up, Audrey.
00:27:25I'll be back in a flash with the cash.
00:27:28Bye, Gravis.
00:27:30Bye.
00:27:46It's the season to be jolly.
00:27:50Fa la la la la la la la la la.
00:27:54It's the season to be jolly.
00:27:58Fa la la la la la la la la la la.
00:28:03It's the season to be jolly.
00:28:08Fa la la la la la la la la la la.
00:28:17You're flush now, right?
00:28:19Bring me whiskey, rum, wine, gin, bourbon.
00:28:22What?
00:28:23Scotch, rye, tequila, sake, Manischewitz.
00:28:27Bring the money.
00:28:28Don't bug me with the money.
00:28:29I got to get drunk now.
00:28:31What flipped him?
00:28:32I don't know.
00:28:33Look here.
00:28:34Here, take it.
00:28:35Bring me anything.
00:28:36Bring me everything.
00:28:37Cram them in.
00:28:38Everything you got.
00:28:39OK.
00:28:40Gravis, what happened?
00:28:42Don't ask.
00:28:43You look like you've seen a ghost.
00:28:45Ghosts I could handle.
00:28:46Don't ask.
00:28:47Why don't you tell me?
00:28:48Maybe I could help you.
00:28:49Help?
00:28:50You couldn't.
00:28:51Try and eat something.
00:28:52It'll calm your aggravation.
00:28:56In my own shop.
00:28:58Audrey, you wouldn't believe it.
00:29:00I wish you'd break out and tell me.
00:29:02All right, I'll tell you tomorrow, right after I am telling the police.
00:29:09But Mushnick didn't come to the police.
00:29:11If he had, that might have been the finish of the unhappy story.
00:29:15It was not.
00:29:27Hi, Gravis.
00:29:29$85 with the business already, and we barely opened.
00:29:36What did I tell you?
00:29:37You wouldn't be interested in selling your half-inches to this place, huh?
00:29:40Mr. Mushnick, we talked to the committee, and they said we could use your flower.
00:29:44On the float.
00:29:45Hey, guess what?
00:29:46We're going to feature Audrey Jr.
00:29:48Right on top.
00:29:49Can't you just feature it?
00:29:50I'll tell you what.
00:29:51I'll tell you what.
00:29:52I'll tell you what.
00:29:53I'll tell you what.
00:29:54Right on top.
00:29:55Can't you just picture it?
00:29:56I can picture it.
00:29:57Oh, won't the people just eat it up?
00:29:59Eat up the people.
00:30:00And we're going to have the big part of it open, so she can sit in it.
00:30:03Who?
00:30:04The queen, with her crown and scepter.
00:30:06She'll be so cute.
00:30:07Oh, you could just eat her up.
00:30:09Eat up the girls.
00:30:10Oh, there's Seymour!
00:30:12No, Seymour!
00:30:13Oh, oh, oh, I got a toothache.
00:30:15Oh, I got a toothache.
00:30:16Let me help.
00:30:17You come with me.
00:30:19Oh, my jaw got a toothache.
00:30:20It hurts.
00:30:21Oh, let go of my jaw.
00:30:24Oh, oh, oh, oh.
00:30:26Now, Seymour, talk on me.
00:30:28I got a toothache.
00:30:29What do you want to talk about?
00:30:30That plant.
00:30:31Is that a nice subject for to talk?
00:30:33The plant.
00:30:34The plant is great.
00:30:35It's four times bigger than it was yesterday.
00:30:37I saw.
00:30:38I saw.
00:30:39How come the plant is now so big?
00:30:40Oh, I don't know.
00:30:42But look at all them people out there.
00:30:44We've only been open a half hour, and we've already done $70 worth of business.
00:30:47$85.
00:30:48Now, look, Seymour.
00:30:50You gave this plant a fancy name, Audrey Jr.
00:30:53But I want to know right now, what do just people call it?
00:30:56Well, it's a cross between a butterworth and a Venus flytrap.
00:30:59Venus flytrap.
00:31:01And what are the habits of this Venus flytrap?
00:31:04Well, the book says it eats insects.
00:31:06It eats them three times in its life, and then it's full grown.
00:31:09Excellent.
00:31:10And how many times is this one eat?
00:31:12Well, once or twice.
00:31:15You don't remember?
00:31:17Well, this is kind of an unusual type flytrap.
00:31:20That is a possibility.
00:31:23It may never eat again.
00:31:24I don't see how it could get any bigger.
00:31:26Then you think it don't need any more flies.
00:31:30Yeah.
00:31:34Oh, my tooth is just killing me.
00:31:36All right, excellent.
00:31:38You run along to the dentist.
00:31:40I'll take care of things here.
00:31:42Thanks, boss.
00:31:44Travis, we've got to order more flowers.
00:31:47Tons of them.
00:31:54I'm making lots of money.
00:32:10Please don't hurt me.
00:32:12Oh, please don't hurt me anymore.
00:32:19That'll teach you to keep your bill up to date, you deadbeat.
00:32:29Go ahead and run, you sniveling dog.
00:32:31Go ahead and run. I'm glad I hurt you.
00:32:32I'm glad. I'm glad.
00:32:34Seymour.
00:32:35Seymour, you got a bad tooth, huh?
00:32:37No, I thought this was the men's room.
00:32:39Welcome back here, you bad dog.
00:32:41You get in there.
00:32:43So, you are the young man who ruined my gladiolas, huh?
00:32:47Sit down.
00:32:48Come on.
00:32:55Guess what?
00:32:56My tooth stopped hurting.
00:32:58Yes, I know.
00:32:59Let's see.
00:33:00Shut up and open up.
00:33:02Uh-huh.
00:33:04Does that hurt?
00:33:05Yeah.
00:33:06Good.
00:33:07You haven't felt anything yet.
00:33:08Uh-huh.
00:33:09Get it over here.
00:33:11Seymour, who is the dentist here?
00:33:13You or me?
00:33:14I'll find that tooth.
00:33:15Uh-huh.
00:33:17Uh-huh.
00:33:18Look at that stalagmite.
00:33:21But don't worry.
00:33:22It's going to be an easy one, Seymour.
00:33:24I won't even use Novocaine.
00:33:26Oh, you broke the mirror in my mouth.
00:33:28Don't tell me about it, stupid.
00:33:29Just swallow it.
00:33:31All right.
00:33:32Yes.
00:33:33Let's see now, Seymour.
00:33:34Let's see.
00:33:35I'll have this one and this one and that one.
00:33:37And I have to have this one, Seymour.
00:33:39It's only one tooth.
00:33:40Seymour, who is the dentist here?
00:33:41You or me?
00:33:42Are you practicing dentistry without a license?
00:33:44No.
00:33:45All right.
00:33:46Uh-huh.
00:33:47Let's see.
00:33:48Uh-huh.
00:33:49Oh, shh.
00:33:50Seymour.
00:33:51Seymour.
00:33:52Don't be afraid.
00:33:55Ah!
00:33:57Look at that.
00:33:59Look at that.
00:34:00Will you look at that, Seymour?
00:34:02I didn't know you were an elk.
00:34:05You know, I can't afford an assistant.
00:34:08So I get this ready instant mix.
00:34:12It doesn't last very long, but it tastes good.
00:34:16All right, Seymour.
00:34:18Stay away from me.
00:34:19Seymour.
00:34:20You're trying to kill me.
00:34:21A duel.
00:34:22Ah-ha.
00:34:23Oh!
00:34:24Oh!
00:34:25Oh!
00:34:26Oh!
00:34:27Oh!
00:34:28Oh!
00:34:29Oh!
00:34:30Oh!
00:34:31Oh!
00:34:32Oh!
00:34:33Oh!
00:34:34Is this Stottram's office?
00:34:37Uh, just a minute.
00:34:40Oh.
00:34:41Yes.
00:34:42I see it is.
00:34:44Uh, you can come in now.
00:34:50My name is Wilbur Force.
00:34:53Wilbur Force what?
00:34:55Just Wilbur Force.
00:34:58My first name is Wilbur.
00:34:59My last name is Force.
00:35:02I don't have a middle name.
00:35:04Well, do you have an appointment, maybe?
00:35:06No, but you were very highly recommended to me by one of your patients.
00:35:11Oh.
00:35:12Oh.
00:35:13Oh.
00:35:14Oh.
00:35:15Oh.
00:35:16Oh.
00:35:17Oh.
00:35:18One of your patients, a Mrs. Eshiva.
00:35:21I do a lot of undertaking for her relatives.
00:35:24Well, as you can see, I have a customer now.
00:35:27And I'm all booked up for the rest of the day,
00:35:29so you'll have to come back tomorrow.
00:35:31Oh, I couldn't do that.
00:35:33I have three or four abscesses, a touch of pyuria, nine or ten cavities,
00:35:38I lost my pivot tooth, and I'm in terrible pain.
00:35:42Well, I can't help you today.
00:35:44Oh, that's all right.
00:35:46I'll... I'll just wait outside.
00:35:58The patient came to me with a large hole in his abdomen,
00:36:02caused by a fire poker used on him by his wife.
00:36:07He almost bled to death and gangrene had set in.
00:36:10I didn't give him much of a chance.
00:36:13There were other complications.
00:36:15The man had cancer, tuberculosis, leprosy,
00:36:20and a touch of the grip.
00:36:23I decided to operate.
00:36:25My patient just left. You could come in now.
00:36:29Oh, goody.
00:36:33I didn't see the other man leave.
00:36:35Well, he went out the back door.
00:36:41You know, most people don't like to go to the dentist,
00:36:44but I rather enjoy it myself, don't you?
00:36:47I mean, there's such... there's a real feeling of growth,
00:36:50of... of...
00:36:53progress when that old drill goes in.
00:36:56I mean, I'd almost rather go to the dentist than anywhere,
00:36:59wouldn't you?
00:37:00Yeah.
00:37:02Now, no Novacaine.
00:37:04It dulls the senses.
00:37:06This is gonna hurt you more than it is me.
00:37:09Oh, goody, goody, here it comes.
00:37:14Oh!
00:37:18Oh, my God! Don't stop now!
00:37:21Well, I made a lot of holes,
00:37:23and now I gotta fill it up with this here silver stuff.
00:37:25Well, aren't you gonna pull any?
00:37:27Well, uh...
00:37:28Oh, go on.
00:37:31Well, it's your mouth.
00:37:34No!
00:37:35Ah!
00:37:36Ah!
00:37:37Ah!
00:37:38Ah!
00:37:39Ah!
00:37:40Ah!
00:37:43Well, Dr. Scharf, it's been quite an afternoon.
00:37:47I can truly say I've never enjoyed myself so much.
00:37:51I'll recommend you to all my friends.
00:37:54Thank you. Bye.
00:37:55Bye now.
00:37:56Bye.
00:37:57Bye.
00:37:58Bye.
00:37:59Bye.
00:38:00Bye.
00:38:01Bye.
00:38:02Bye now.
00:38:12Leave me!
00:38:14Oh, take it easy, Dracula.
00:38:16What do you think I'm carrying here, my dirty laundry?
00:38:23Leave!
00:38:24I'm coming! I'm coming already!
00:38:27This should be enough for anybody.
00:38:29Good!
00:38:37Well, goodbye, Dr. Farr.
00:38:39You may have been a crummy dentist, but you were a nice fellow.
00:38:42I never meant to kill anybody in my whole life.
00:38:45I've killed two in the last two days.
00:38:48Well, but you asked for it, coming after me with that knife and all.
00:38:52Well, but you asked for it, coming after me with that knife and all.
00:38:56Fun voyage, Dr. Farr.
00:38:58You want anything else?
00:39:04See you in the morning.
00:39:23Come in.
00:39:25It's me, Joe.
00:39:27Come on in, Frank.
00:39:29How's the wife, Frank?
00:39:30Not bad, Joe.
00:39:31Glad to hear it.
00:39:32The kids?
00:39:33Lost one yesterday.
00:39:34Lost one, eh? How'd that happen?
00:39:36Playing with matches.
00:39:37Well, those are bricks.
00:39:39Yeah, I guess so.
00:39:40Got a strange one here.
00:39:41Railroad people say they lost one of their best detectives the other night.
00:39:44Oh, yeah?
00:39:45Down by the yards.
00:39:46He was watching the refrigerator cars.
00:39:48Refrigerator cars?
00:39:50Refrigerator cars?
00:39:52Ice thieves.
00:39:53Oh, yeah? What happened?
00:39:54Don't know.
00:39:55Vanished.
00:39:56Blood on tracks.
00:39:57Clues?
00:39:58None.
00:39:59Anything else?
00:40:00Dennis, Tharb.
00:40:01Dead?
00:40:02Missing.
00:40:03Clues?
00:40:04Blood in office.
00:40:05Where?
00:40:06Skid Row.
00:40:07Ideas?
00:40:08None.
00:40:09Check it out?
00:40:10Yeah.
00:40:12Now we are on the case.
00:40:14Officer Frank Stooley and me.
00:40:16My name is Fink.
00:40:18Sergeant Joe Fink.
00:40:20I'm a Fink.
00:40:42Morning, Mr. Mushnick.
00:40:44Oh, boy, look at that.
00:40:47Hi, everybody.
00:40:49Oh, my gosh.
00:40:51Ain't it something?
00:40:53It's monstrosity.
00:40:56Yeah.
00:40:57And to think that you did it.
00:41:01Gee, Audrey, you don't have to kiss me.
00:41:04Don't you like me to kiss you?
00:41:07Yeah, but you don't like to kiss me.
00:41:09Why shouldn't I?
00:41:11Nobody else ever did.
00:41:13Well, I do like to.
00:41:15You do? You really do?
00:41:16You like to kiss me?
00:41:17Sure, I do.
00:41:18Would you like to kiss me again?
00:41:20Okay.
00:41:21That plant?
00:41:25Oh, boy, you kiss good, Audrey.
00:41:28Oh, I guess I just have a good kisser.
00:41:31How d-d-d-d-d-d?
00:41:33Would you like to kiss me again?
00:41:35How d-d-d-d-d-d?
00:41:37Would you like to go out on a date with me some night?
00:41:39When?
00:41:40Oh, sure I would, Seymour.
00:41:41Anytime.
00:41:42Tonight?
00:41:43Okay.
00:41:44Oh, boy.
00:41:46About that plant.
00:41:48We got the list of flowers for the float,
00:41:50for the rose parade.
00:41:52I can't talk to you now, girls.
00:41:53Talk on, Audrey.
00:41:55We got the list for the float.
00:41:57Okay, let's take a look at it.
00:41:58Okay.
00:41:59Hi, what's cooking?
00:42:00Look at my plant.
00:42:01My, what a large one.
00:42:02Yeah.
00:42:08Hello, Mrs. Shiva.
00:42:10What's new?
00:42:11Oh, I got terrible news.
00:42:13Monachi Frankie just lost his little boy.
00:42:16Oh, that's too bad.
00:42:18How did it happen?
00:42:19He was playing with matches.
00:42:21Would you like to buy maybe some flowers?
00:42:23About 50 cents worth.
00:42:25Well, I'll get them for you.
00:42:26Look at my plant.
00:42:27I'm looking.
00:42:33Your name Gravis Mushnick?
00:42:35Look, I'm Mushnick Gravis.
00:42:36That's my name.
00:42:37Just want to ask you a few questions.
00:42:38Questions, ask me.
00:42:39Just want to ask you a few questions.
00:42:40I didn't do it.
00:42:41Do what?
00:42:42Whatever.
00:42:43Ever see this man?
00:42:44Man.
00:42:45See, picture.
00:42:46Why are you so nervous?
00:42:47Got a guilty conscience?
00:42:48No.
00:42:49Why should I?
00:42:50Ever see this man?
00:42:51Man.
00:42:52See, picture.
00:42:53Dr. Fogg.
00:42:54So you know him.
00:42:55My dentist.
00:42:56He maybe did something.
00:42:57Disappeared.
00:42:58Blood in his office.
00:42:59The other man, too.
00:43:00Blood in the railroad tracks.
00:43:01Confused spare parts.
00:43:02Dr. Fogg is murdered.
00:43:05Is he?
00:43:06Who knows?
00:43:07Not me.
00:43:08What do you think?
00:43:10He doesn't know anything.
00:43:12OK, Mushnick.
00:43:13If you hear anything about these men, call our office.
00:43:15Sure, I'll be glad to.
00:43:17Cooperate with the police.
00:43:19Hello, I'm sitting.
00:43:20Oh, isn't it terrible what happened to your boy, Frankie?
00:43:23Those are the brakes.
00:43:29All right, Seymour.
00:43:30Now, you tell me if that plant is finished all grown up.
00:43:34He's finished all growing up.
00:43:36You wouldn't kid your father?
00:43:37My father came home.
00:43:38Me, idiot!
00:43:39It's a finger of speech.
00:43:40Now, look.
00:43:41I can't stand anymore that plant.
00:43:44It's growing me out of house and home.
00:43:46Well, it ain't going to grow anymore.
00:43:48I promise.
00:43:49How can you be so sure?
00:43:50It ate three times already.
00:43:52Who?
00:43:53I mean, what did it eat this time?
00:43:56About a million Japanese beetles.
00:43:58So don't eat no more.
00:44:00It's full.
00:44:02Grab us.
00:44:04There's a lady from some kind of a committance outside.
00:44:07I think it's important.
00:44:09Excellent.
00:44:11By the by, I understand you want to take Audrey out on a date tonight.
00:44:15That's very good with me.
00:44:17Because I am staying to keep an eye on that Meshuggahna plant.
00:44:24Where are we going to go tonight, Seymour?
00:44:27Oh, I just remembered.
00:44:29I don't have any money.
00:44:30Well, that's okay.
00:44:32We could take a walk along the ocean or something.
00:44:35I got a great idea.
00:44:37We can eat dinner at my house.
00:44:38My mom's a great cook.
00:44:40Well, that's swell.
00:44:41Oh, boy.
00:44:42I'll call her later and tell her.
00:44:43Okay.
00:44:47Oh, that's remarkable.
00:44:50Do you like?
00:44:52Oh, I neither like nor dislike anything, my goodness.
00:44:57I happen to represent the Society of Silent Flower Observers of Southern California.
00:45:03How about that?
00:45:05Tell me, who created this magnificent bloom?
00:45:10I did, me.
00:45:12And what might your name be?
00:45:15Seymour Krelboin with a K.
00:45:17Krelboin.
00:45:18Krelboin.
00:45:19Raised it in a coffee can.
00:45:21This?
00:45:23Well, tell me, Mr. Krelboin.
00:45:25Is this a freak or can more be raised from the sea?
00:45:29We should live so long.
00:45:30Well, I don't think there are going to be any more, Miss...
00:45:32Fishtwanger.
00:45:33Mrs. Hortense Fishtwanger.
00:45:35I think this is going to be the only one, Mrs. Fishtwanger.
00:45:38Fishtwanger.
00:45:40Fishtwanger.
00:45:41Well, it's probably indigestible anyway.
00:45:46At any rate, I have the honor to tell you, Seymour Krelboin.
00:45:52That you have been selected to receive the annual trophy...
00:45:55of the Society of Silent Flower Observers of Southern California.
00:45:59A trophy? Me?
00:46:01Such is justice.
00:46:03Tell me, when do you suppose those large buds will open?
00:46:07Well, according to what the book says about the plants that I crossed.
00:46:10They should open day after tomorrow at sunset.
00:46:13Ah, very well.
00:46:14Then I shall return at that time to present the trophy.
00:46:17Good day.
00:46:20Good day.
00:46:28Remarkable.
00:46:34Oh, boy, I'm going to get a trophy.
00:46:36Oh, Seymour, I'm so proud of you.
00:46:38Oh, a real trophy.
00:46:40For Andre Jr.
00:46:41We can put it on the floor.
00:46:42In the cross parade.
00:46:43Oh, boy.
00:46:46Don't look at me. I'm a terrible sight.
00:46:49I'm a complete sea hag.
00:46:51She always says that.
00:46:52Oh, well, it's true.
00:46:53I haven't been feeling very well lately.
00:46:55Audrey, this is my ma, Winifred Krelboin.
00:46:58Ma, this is Audrey Fulquart.
00:46:59She's my girl.
00:47:00Hi, Audrey.
00:47:01Are you hungry?
00:47:02I sure am.
00:47:03I could eat a hearse.
00:47:05Well, sit right down, and I'll go get the first course.
00:47:11Sit here, Audrey.
00:47:13You want me to take your sweater?
00:47:15Yeah.
00:47:24Never mind that.
00:47:26Well, now, try this.
00:47:34It tastes like cough syrup.
00:47:36Dr. Flim's cough syrup.
00:47:38A toast?
00:47:40To Audrey Jr.
00:47:42A toast to Audrey Sr.
00:48:08You, you glutton, you.
00:48:10Tonight I keep an eye on you.
00:48:12I don't let nobody get near you.
00:48:25Here comes the soup.
00:48:27Now, don't touch it till I get the flavor in.
00:48:31Gee, Audrey, you sure look good by candlelight.
00:48:34Oh, do I really, Seymour?
00:48:36Yeah.
00:48:37Here you are.
00:48:40Now, try it.
00:48:42It sure smells different.
00:48:44It is different.
00:48:46Some kind of oil, isn't it?
00:48:48God, liver oil.
00:48:50It's wonderful for the colon.
00:48:52And that's sulfur powder on top.
00:48:59Feed me.
00:49:06Feed me.
00:49:10I'm hungry.
00:49:20Open it, please.
00:49:22Feed me.
00:49:26I didn't hear it.
00:49:28Feed me.
00:49:30I heard it.
00:49:32I want food.
00:49:34The talking plant forgot.
00:49:37I'm hungry.
00:49:40Hungry?
00:49:42Ain't that a fine kettle of fish.
00:49:45Who would you like to have tonight?
00:49:48You look fat enough.
00:49:51We not only got a talking plant,
00:49:53we got one that makes with smart cracks.
00:49:56Will you listen to me, you botanical bum?
00:49:59Food you wouldn't get.
00:50:01Not from Gravis Mushnick.
00:50:03I'm starved.
00:50:04Excellent.
00:50:06You would unpopulate the whole skid row.
00:50:08Well, you can forget about it.
00:50:11You wouldn't get fed from Gravis Mushnick tonight.
00:50:15Good night.
00:50:17You'll get yours.
00:50:26I kind of like this chow mein.
00:50:28If it tastes a little bitter,
00:50:30it's because it's made of Chinese herbs
00:50:32and it's flavored with acromias and epsom salts.
00:50:36There ain't another cook in the whole world like my ma.
00:50:38That's what your old man said before the louse ran out on me.
00:50:41You know, if you're gonna be married,
00:50:43you gotta be a good cook.
00:50:45Maybe you could teach me.
00:50:47You thinking of getting married?
00:50:49He hasn't asked me yet.
00:50:51Who hasn't?
00:50:52Seymour.
00:50:53Seymour's too young to get married.
00:50:55A boy's gotta go out and play around a little bit.
00:50:58Go out on the make and have a ball.
00:51:00Seymour, I don't want to have a ball.
00:51:02I want to be with Audrey.
00:51:04Oh, look, Seymour.
00:51:06You promised you wouldn't get married
00:51:08until you bought me an iron lung.
00:51:10You've been breathing for years, ma.
00:51:12Well, it ain't easy.
00:51:13It ain't easy, son.
00:51:35Oh.
00:51:36Is nobody here?
00:51:38Black hat, 13th job, fighter, 13th stupid superstition.
00:51:47All right, you.
00:51:48Come out of there.
00:51:49Don't shoot, mister.
00:51:51I'm old and sick.
00:51:52I wouldn't hurt even a fly.
00:51:55Come out in the light where I can see you.
00:51:58No.
00:51:59Please don't shoot.
00:52:01Please.
00:52:02Please, I'm only Gravis Mushnick.
00:52:03You wouldn't want to kill me.
00:52:04Where would you hide the body?
00:52:06Don't worry, I'm not gonna shoot you.
00:52:08Not unless you try something.
00:52:09Try something?
00:52:10I never tried anything in my life.
00:52:12I wouldn't try anything now.
00:52:13You want my money?
00:52:14Take it.
00:52:15You want I should go out and steal you some more?
00:52:16That's all right, too.
00:52:17I'll do it.
00:52:18Thank you very much.
00:52:20I like your brand of hospitality.
00:52:23You'll excuse it, Seymour.
00:52:24I'm only a poor florist.
00:52:26Yeah, yeah.
00:52:28I got about 30 bucks here.
00:52:30Come on, now.
00:52:31Where's the rest of it?
00:52:32I was in here this afternoon.
00:52:33I saw about 30,000 people in here.
00:52:35They must have spent some money.
00:52:36Where is it?
00:52:37There ain't no more money.
00:52:38They came in to look on the plant.
00:52:39It's a big attraction.
00:52:40Audrey Junior.
00:52:41The plant.
00:52:42Don't try to snow me, Jim.
00:52:4330,000 squares didn't come in here just to look for a plant.
00:52:45I want it.
00:52:46I don't got no more money, honest.
00:52:48Believe me.
00:52:49Okay, let's try this.
00:52:50One, two, three, four.
00:52:54I ain't got no more money, honest.
00:52:56All right, try it the other way around.
00:52:58Five, four, three, two.
00:53:01All right.
00:53:02All right, I'm ready.
00:53:03Okay, Big Dad, where?
00:53:06In the plant.
00:53:08In the plant?
00:53:10The big plant, Audrey Junior.
00:53:15Inside the big leaf?
00:53:17That's right, inside.
00:53:20How do you get it open?
00:53:23Just knock.
00:53:32In there.
00:53:34In there.
00:53:36Inside, in the bottom.
00:53:39I don't see anything.
00:53:42Way inside.
00:53:44Right in the bottom.
00:54:01What I did.
00:54:17I don't care what you got at the date with Audrey tonight.
00:54:20I am no more sitting up with that no good meat plant.
00:54:25But gee, Mr. Mushnick, you don't have to sit up with it anymore.
00:54:28It's all grown up now.
00:54:29Excellent, smart guy.
00:54:30How do you know it don't be hungry no more?
00:54:32Well, because...
00:54:33Tonight you are staying.
00:54:35Then tomorrow they're coming and they're going to give you a trophy.
00:54:37And then after that, we are getting rid once and for all for that plant.
00:54:41Getting rid of it, why?
00:54:43Don't ask why, why.
00:54:44The end, into the garbage can.
00:54:46Aloha.
00:54:48Oy, yes, Mrs. Sheever.
00:54:50Oh, Seymour, you're wonderful plant.
00:54:53Oh, that's all right, Audrey.
00:54:55I'll grow other plants, even more wonderful ones.
00:54:57I know you will.
00:54:59Well, did you figure out what we're doing tonight?
00:55:02Yeah, we're going to a place full of beautiful flowers.
00:55:05We have to stay here.
00:55:07Yeah.
00:55:08Well, never mind.
00:55:09We'll have a picnic.
00:55:10It'll be just like going to the country.
00:55:12Oh, boy.
00:55:13Did you get the 3,000 pink azaleas?
00:55:15For the arbor?
00:55:16And the 9,000 yellow months?
00:55:17For the border.
00:55:18And the roses for the front and the back?
00:55:20No, around the back.
00:55:22What do you mean you're going to a picnic at night with that folk choir girl?
00:55:26Don't you like Audrey, ma?
00:55:28She's out after your money.
00:55:29I don't have any money.
00:55:31Oh, she's a smart one.
00:55:33She'll latch on to you until you get some, and then good-bye fortune.
00:55:37But Audrey's an honest girl, ma.
00:55:39Yeah, never trust a woman who's too healthy.
00:55:42But Audrey had a bad cold a couple of weeks ago.
00:55:45Oh, a cold, a puny cold.
00:55:47Why don't you get yourself a real female with something decent like mononucleosis or gallstones?
00:55:54Well, maybe she could catch something like that.
00:55:56The only thing she'll catch is you.
00:55:59And she'll take you off to some shady sanitarium and leave me to chiropractors and faith healers.
00:56:06I know when I'm not wanted.
00:56:09Oh, gee, ma.
00:56:11Don't feel sorry for me.
00:56:13I'll just find a nice wet alley somewhere and curl up and wait for the end.
00:56:18Oh, please don't die till I get back, will you, ma?
00:56:21I'll take care of you.
00:56:22I'll always take care of you.
00:56:23I promise.
00:56:24Yeah.
00:56:25Mmm.
00:56:31Gee, Audrey, I never tasted food like this before.
00:56:34It's a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
00:56:36Peanut butter and jelly?
00:56:37What does that cure?
00:56:38Nothing.
00:56:39It's just a food.
00:56:40Well, what good is it if it doesn't clear up pimples or shrink your sinus tissues or something?
00:56:44You're just being silly, Seymour.
00:56:48Seymour, what do you want to be?
00:56:51Well, I want to grow things.
00:56:53If I had a lot of money, I'd go to the South Seas where they grow the most fabulous plants in the world.
00:56:57That sounds exciting.
00:56:59Yeah.
00:57:00I'd like to go to the South Seas, too.
00:57:03There's no reason why you couldn't go.
00:57:05Would you take me with you, Seymour?
00:57:07Oh, I couldn't very well go without you, Audrey.
00:57:10Why not?
00:57:12Because I'm in love with you, Audrey.
00:57:15Oh, I'm in love with you, too, Seymour.
00:57:18Feed me.
00:57:20What'd you say?
00:57:22I was just kidding.
00:57:24I'm hungry.
00:57:26Seymour.
00:57:27I didn't mean it.
00:57:28Why did you say it?
00:57:30Oh, food.
00:57:33You didn't even say that.
00:57:34Oh, yes, I did.
00:57:35I said it.
00:57:36I said it.
00:57:37I'm looking right at you.
00:57:38I'm a ventriloquist.
00:57:40You're what?
00:57:41A ventrilo...
00:57:42Feed me.
00:57:44Seymour, do you feel all right?
00:57:46Well, I don't know.
00:57:47I'm not sure.
00:57:48Stop all this nonsense and kiss me.
00:57:51I'm dying from hunger.
00:57:53Oh, right.
00:57:54If you're so hungry, eat something.
00:57:56But forget about me.
00:57:58Gee, I'm sorry, Audrey.
00:57:59Give me to eat.
00:58:01If you can't control yourself, I'm going home.
00:58:03I need some chow.
00:58:05Oh.
00:58:08That empty stomach.
00:58:11Audrey, please wait.
00:58:12Listen to me.
00:58:13I've listened to all the nonsense I want to hear, Seymour.
00:58:16You're a nut.
00:58:17You tell me that you love me, and then you act like a complete idiot.
00:58:20Please listen, Audrey.
00:58:22I'll be able to explain everything soon.
00:58:24Well, why can't you explain now?
00:58:26Because so many things are so important.
00:58:29I want to marry you, but I've got to take care of Mom.
00:58:32Well, that plant in there is going to make it all come true.
00:58:35Tomorrow they're going to give me a trophy, and I'll be famous.
00:58:38I'll be a big botanist.
00:58:40And then we can go to the South Seas, just like we planned and all.
00:58:43But that doesn't have anything to do with what went on in there.
00:58:46When you're ready to come to your senses, Seymour, then I'll talk to you.
00:58:51Good night, Seymour.
00:59:03I'm getting pretty tired of you.
00:59:05I need food.
00:59:07I don't care what you need.
00:59:09Look what you've done to me.
00:59:10You not only made a butcher out of me, but you drove my girl away.
00:59:13Shut up and bring on the food!
00:59:16Don't tell me to shut up. You shut up!
00:59:18Who raised you from a bunch of little seeds?
00:59:20Who fed you all them high-class fertilizers and sat up all night with you when you were sick?
00:59:24Nobody else would have done that for you.
00:59:26Do you think anybody else would have brought you human beings to eat?
00:59:29You're darn right they wouldn't.
00:59:31Well, I've helped you, and you've helped me.
00:59:34Now shut your trap and go to sleep. I'm tired.
00:59:36Crowboy!
00:59:38Turn it up!
00:59:43Close your eyes.
00:59:46You are asleep.
00:59:49Open your eyes.
00:59:52Now you will do as I say.
00:59:54Will you follow me?
00:59:55Yes, Master.
00:59:57You will go out and find me some food.
01:00:01Yes, Master.
01:00:03Now be gone and waste no time.
01:00:13Idiot!
01:00:43Idiot!
01:01:09My name is Leonora Clyde.
01:01:11How's the rain on the rhubarb?
01:01:14Master is hungry.
01:01:26Well, hello there.
01:01:41Hello.
01:01:58I've got to find food for Master.
01:02:01Food I've got to find for Master.
01:02:04For Master, I've got to find food.
01:02:08Maybe I can help.
01:02:10Who are you?
01:02:11My name is Leonora Clyde.
01:02:13I love you.
01:02:15Master wants food.
01:02:17Let the old goat wait.
01:02:19The night is young, and so are we.
01:02:22Master doesn't eat goat.
01:02:28Well, what kind of food does he like?
01:02:35That's more like it.
01:02:37Kiss me.
01:02:41What's the matter? Don't you like me?
01:02:44Too bony.
01:02:45Too bony? Nobody ever told me that before.
01:02:48Beef is better than veal.
01:02:51You're such a dodo.
01:02:53What do you call this? Chopped liver?
01:02:59Master would like more fat.
01:03:02Speak for yourself, John.
01:03:05My name is Seymour.
01:03:07My name is Seymour.
01:03:09That's my name, too.
01:03:12Are you interested, or are you just wasting my time?
01:03:15I never thought anybody would volunteer.
01:03:17Do you volunteer?
01:03:19Sure, I do.
01:03:21All right, if you're sure you want to volunteer.
01:03:24All right, my place or yours?
01:03:26I don't care.
01:03:28Well, flip a coin.
01:03:30I don't have a coin.
01:03:32Flip anything, silly.
01:03:34Well, there's a rock.
01:03:37Wet or dry?
01:03:39Wet.
01:03:58The search was narrowing,
01:04:00and we knew that soon we would have the killer.
01:04:02Not that we had any more clues than before,
01:04:04but we had to tell the chief something.
01:04:06I had that feeling in my bones that the mystery was drawing to its climax,
01:04:09and I was determined to be on hand.
01:04:12All right, out, out, out. Nobody is in.
01:04:14Today we have a special occasion for Seymour Krelborn,
01:04:17which has invented the big plan.
01:04:19So I want everybody to please stay out of the way.
01:04:21We want Seymour! We want Seymour!
01:04:24We want Seymour!
01:04:26Seymour!
01:04:28Let me in! Let me in!
01:04:32I tell you, this business is worse than being a conductor in a revoluting door.
01:04:36I'll be glad when this day is finished.
01:04:38What's the celebration?
01:04:40They're presenting my son with a trophy.
01:04:42Yeah? What'd he do, run away from home?
01:04:44Please don't look at me that way, Audrey.
01:04:46I want to talk to you.
01:04:48I'm sorry, Seymour.
01:04:50I just don't understand you.
01:04:52I'll explain everything after the ceremony.
01:04:54Yo, police, what are you doing here?
01:04:56I heard there was something going on here this evening.
01:04:58Just thought we'd come by and keep an eye on things.
01:05:00Look, we don't need no...
01:05:02The Society of Silent Flower Observers has arrived,
01:05:05and sunset is almost upon us.
01:05:07Welcome, ladies and gentlemen.
01:05:09We are honored to have you.
01:05:12Still working on those disappearances?
01:05:14We think they were murdered.
01:05:16Hey, look here, young man.
01:05:18That's no way to talk at a time like this.
01:05:20Let me see your tongue.
01:05:22Know what you got?
01:05:24I know I had it back in Aught Nine.
01:05:26Better have that looked into, Frank.
01:05:28Whatever you say, Joe.
01:05:30Mr. Krelborn, the sun is going down now,
01:05:33and you do think those buds are going to open?
01:05:37I hope so.
01:05:39Because if they don't, Mr. Krelborn,
01:05:41we shall just have to present the award at another time.
01:05:44Oh, it's starting to open!
01:05:47It's the mark!
01:05:50Oh, look, the first bud is open.
01:05:58Isn't that...
01:05:59The railroad cop. Look at the rest.
01:06:12Aah!
01:06:14What do you think, Frank?
01:06:16They're all there, Joe.
01:06:18Yes, you're right.
01:06:19Mr. Krelborn, how do you explain this?
01:06:21I didn't mean it. I didn't mean it.
01:06:23That's right, officer. He didn't mean to kill them.
01:06:25Am I...
01:06:26Seymour, you promised you'd explain.
01:06:29Looks like they're getting away, Joe.
01:06:31Yes, you're right. Let's catch them.
01:06:33Right.
01:06:38Oh, now the float will be perfect.
01:06:41Yeah.
01:06:48Aah!
01:07:15I'll get you!
01:07:19Come on, Sammy! Come on, Sammy!
01:07:22Come on, Sammy! Come on, Sammy!
01:07:48Aah!
01:08:18Aah!
01:08:48Aah!
01:09:05Aah!
01:09:10Aah!
01:09:18Aah!
01:09:49You wouldn't find them here with the toilets.
01:09:52Let's go back.
01:10:19You dirty rat plant! You messed up my whole life!
01:10:23Feed me!
01:10:26I'll feed you.
01:10:32I'll feed you like you've never been fed before.
01:10:48Aah!
01:10:49Aah!
01:10:50Aah!
01:10:57Better to give up, gentlemen.
01:11:00You wouldn't find him tonight.
01:11:02Look, the door's open, Frank.
01:11:04Now.
01:11:10He was such a good boy.
01:11:13Seymour!
01:11:15I didn't mean it.