Hello Dolly (1969) HD

Nature Relax

Dolly Levi, a charming New York widow and matchmaker, tired of being alone, decides to get married again. The man she is interested in is one of her clients, Orazio Vandergelder, from Yonkers, a rich, thrifty middle-aged businessman, owner of a feed store. Hostile to the marriage of his niece Ermenegarda with the young Ambrogio, whose profession as a painter is synonymous with poverty for him, Orazio turns to Dolly, so that she can distance the girl from her lover. Having gone to Yonkers for this purpose, Dolly, learning that Orazio intends to go to New York to ask for the hand of the pretty milliner Irene Mallow, decides to ruin his plan. Having achieved this goal with the unwitting help of Barnaby and Cornelio (Orazio's two clerks), Dolly makes sure that the man finally notices her and asks for her hand in marriage. Converted to the idea that money is not the only purpose of life, Orazio accepts Ermenegarda's marriage to Ambrogio, while the two clerks find happiness, one in the arms of Irene, the other in those of her friend Minnie.

Transcript

00:00:00You

00:00:30I

00:01:00Don't

00:01:30I

00:01:32I

00:01:59Mrs. Dolly Levi

00:02:02Recommend she even found a lovely bride for

00:02:08Social introductions arranged

00:02:19In an atmosphere of elegance and refinement

00:02:25Object matrimony

00:02:33I

00:02:56Have always been a woman who arranges things

00:03:02For the pleasure and the profit it derives

00:03:07I have always been a woman who arranges things

00:03:13like furniture and

00:03:17Davidoff's and

00:03:25If you want your sister corded brother wed or cheese imported just leave everything to me

00:03:32If you want your roof inspected eyebrows tweezed or bills collected, just leave everything to me

00:03:39If you want your daughter dated or some marriage consummate at for a rather modest fee

00:03:46If you want a husband spotted boyfriend traced or chicken potted, I'll arrange for making all

00:03:52Arrangements just leave everything

00:03:56To me

00:03:59Business

00:04:01Jones with me business is always a pleasure and you've got more businesses than a dog has fleas

00:04:06Well as my late husband Ephraim Levi used to say if you have to live from hand to mouth, you better be ambidextrous

00:04:13If you want your ego busted muscles toned or chair upholstered just leave everything to me

00:04:20Charming social introductions expert mandolin instructions just leave everything to me

00:04:26If you want your culture rounded French improved or torso pounded with a ten-year guarantee

00:04:33If you want a birth recorded Carly's bread or kittens boarded I'll proceed to plan the whole procedure

00:04:40Just leave everything

00:04:43to me

00:04:47Where to Dolly Yonkers, New York to handle a highly personal matter for mr

00:04:53The well-known unmarried half-a-millionaire gonna marry him yourself Dolly why mr. Sullivan whatever put such a preposterous idea into my head

00:05:02your head

00:05:05If you want a law abolished jury suede or toenails polished just leave everything to me

00:05:11If you want your liver tested glasses made cash invested just leave everything to me

00:05:18If you watch our children cotton corsets bonafides remodeled awesome nice fresh fricassee

00:05:25If you want your bustle shifted wedding planned or bosom lifted, don't be ashamed girls life is full of secrets and I keep

00:05:33Discreetly use my own discretion

00:05:36I'll arrange for making all

00:05:39Arrangements. I'll proceed to plan the whole procedure

00:05:45Leave everything

00:05:47to me

00:06:17You

00:06:47You

00:07:17You

00:07:47You

00:08:17You

00:08:47You

00:08:49You

00:09:15Now without my permission y'all this is a free country not a private

00:09:19She's consented and I'm going

00:09:23And I'm telling you I will

00:09:25Tomorrow today. I'm in God is not for you nor for anybody else who can't support her

00:09:30You are an artist. I make a very good living a living

00:09:32Mr

00:09:33Kemper is made by selling something that everybody needs at least once a year

00:09:36Yes, yes, sir

00:09:37And a million is made by producing something that everybody needs every single day you artists you painters produce nothing that nobody needs

00:09:45Never might as well know anyway Ermengarde and I can find to get married is right and fair and we'll do it

00:09:51You are an impractical seven-foot tall nincompoop. That's an insult all the facts about your insults

00:09:57What you thank you for the honor of your visit. Good morning. Ermengarde is of age and there's no law

00:10:02Oh, did you say law? Let me tell you something. Mr

00:10:04Kemper the law is there to prevent crime we men of sense are there to prevent foolishness

00:10:08It is I and not the law that will prevent you from marrying my niece and I've already taken the necessary steps steps

00:10:14Yes, mrs. Dolly Levi is on her way here. Even now Dolly Levi your marriage broker. Never mind that

00:10:19She's going to pick up Ermengarde and take it in New York, New York

00:10:22Yes, and keep her there until his foolishness is out of her head and yours. Well, we'll see about that

00:10:27Thank you again for the honor

00:10:29Still mr. Vanda Gelder if I cut your throat, it'll be practically unintentional

00:10:33Yeah, 90% of the people in this world of fools and the rest of us are in great danger of contamination

00:10:40Now enough of this I'm a busy man with things to do a straight chin is the least of them

00:10:46I did the best I could mr. Vanda Gelder

00:10:52Joe yes

00:10:54I've got special reasons for looking my best today. There's something a little extra you can do something a little special what?

00:11:02You know do some of those things you do to the young fellas smart me up a little bit, you know face massage

00:11:08A little perfume water. All I know is 15 cents worth like usual, mr

00:11:14Vanda Gelder and that includes everything that's decent to do to a man. Listen, Joe

00:11:17I don't want you blabbing this down at the barbershop

00:11:19But I need something extra today because I'm going to New York to call on a very refined lady named a miss Irene Malloy

00:11:25You're calling on ladies. There's none of my business. Mr. Vanda Gelder. Hold your horses, Joe

00:11:32Yes, what is it I'm in God I

00:11:35Had a quiet little talk with him

00:11:38Yes, I explained to him that he's a fool

00:11:42Weeping weeping a waste of water

00:11:45I've done you a good time. You'll come and thank me when you're 50

00:11:50Save your tears for New York where they won't be noticed. I tell you that you don't

00:11:55Leave those things to me

00:11:58I

00:12:01Never heard of it. Are you ready for mrs. Levi when she comes?

00:12:06Well get ready some more and stay in your room until she arrives

00:12:27You

00:12:32Stand mr. Vanda Gelder. Yes, I stand

00:12:36On my nieces bags at the railroad station. Yes, mr. Vanda Gelder. I knew did you label them properly? Yes, mr

00:12:41Vanda Gelder good now. Look I'm going to New York today on important business. Then I'll be marching in the 14th Street Parade

00:12:47I'm planning to stay overnight at the Central Hotel. We've never been here alone. Mr. Vanda Gelder now in honor of the occasion

00:12:54I'm going to promote you both Cornelius. How old are you?

00:12:5728 and 3 quarters. Mr. Vanda Gelder

00:13:00Is that all?

00:13:02That's a foolish age to be and I thought you were 40. No

00:13:06I'm 28 and 3 quarters

00:13:08Well, a man's not worth a cent till he's 40. We just pay him wages until then to make mistakes

00:13:14Anyway, I've decided to promote you to chief like chief clerk. Yes. Oh, what am I now?

00:13:19You're an impotent fool. That's what you are

00:13:21Now if you behave yourself, I'll promote you from impotent fool to chief clique with a raise in your wages

00:13:27Thank You. Mr. Vanda Gelder

00:13:29You ought to be

00:13:31Promoting you from idiot apprentice to incompetent clique. Thank You. Mr. Vanda Gelder. Mr. Vanda Gelder. Mr. Vanda Gelder

00:13:38Oh, what is it? Does the chief clerk get one evening off a week? Well, that's the way you thank me for your promotion

00:13:44Hey, no, sir. You'll attend to the store as usual an evening free

00:13:49You keep on asking for evenings free and you'll find yourself with all your days free. Remember that

00:13:55And listen when I come back I want to hear that you've run the place perfectly in my absence if I hear of any foolishness

00:14:00I'll discharge you both. Yes, Mr

00:14:02You might as well know it now when I retain from New York

00:14:05There are going to be some changes around here changes as you're going to have a mistress. I'm too young. Mr. Vanda Gelder

00:14:14Not yours idiot mine, I mean I'm planning to get married

00:14:19Married yes married any objections. No, but oh many congratulations. Mr. Vanda Gelder and to the lady, too

00:14:26That's none of your business any further questions. No, but but but I mean, I mean big up

00:14:31What why what damn it speak up? Why are you getting married?

00:14:37Let me tell you something son

00:14:40I've worked hard and I become rich

00:14:43friendless mean

00:14:46in America

00:14:47It's about as far as you can go

00:14:54Time to be doing something a little bit foolish

00:14:59Besides I need a steady housekeeper

00:15:02It takes a woman or powder than pink to joyously clean out the drain in the sink

00:15:11And it takes an angel with long golden lashes and soft Dresden fingers

00:15:18for dumping

00:15:22Yes, it takes a woman a dainty woman a sweetheart a mistress a wife

00:15:41The frail young maiden who's constantly there

00:15:46For washing and bluing and shooing the mare and it takes a female

00:15:53For setting the table and weaning the guineas eat and cleaning the stable

00:16:01Yes

00:16:03a dainty woman a sweetheart a mistress a wife

00:16:10oh, yes, it takes a woman a

00:16:13Fragile woman to bring you the sweet things in life

00:16:21And so she'll work until infinity

00:16:31Three cheers for femininity

00:16:33Three cheers for femininity

00:16:52And in the winter she'll shovel the ice and

00:16:57Lovingly set out the traps for the mice

00:17:01She's a joy and treasure for practically speaking to whom can you turn when?

00:17:08the plumbing is

00:17:10leaking

00:17:20That sweetheart that mistress that wife

00:17:30Oh, yes

00:17:34Husky woman to bring you the sweet things

00:18:01Well, well, well, well, well, good morning, mr. Vandergelder

00:18:07Mr. Hackett, mr. Tucker gentlemen

00:18:13Morning mrs. Levi

00:18:15How handsome you look today?

00:18:17You absolutely take my breath away. I mean God's upstairs crying her eyes out

00:18:22You can take it to New York now, but blow her nose face. If only Irene Malloy could see you now

00:18:27Find someplace else below and you two get back to the store. Go on

00:18:31And don't forget to put the lid on the sheep dip. I

00:18:34Don't know what's come over you lately, but you seem to be growing younger every day

00:18:39well

00:18:40Man needs careful. There's no reason why he should look old never said a true word

00:18:45Even if I never see 40

00:18:4835 again

00:18:4935 where I can see the glance that you're the sort that'll be stamping about at a hundred eating five meals a day

00:18:54Just like what's-his-name? My uncle Harry may he rest in peace. Let me see your hand. Mr.

00:18:58Then again, I'll show me your hand. Why well, I'm a judge of hands. I read hands. I use them to get things done

00:19:08Such a long lifeline

00:19:12I don't know where it goes. It runs right off your hand. They'll have to hit you over the head with a mallet

00:19:17They'll have to stifle you with a sofa pillow. You will bury us all I will

00:19:22Yeah

00:19:26Yes, and not for the benefit of this smelly horse either well, well if I had a guess I'd say you was going somewhere

00:19:38Remarkable mrs. Levi, how do you do it?

00:19:40Two and two is four. Mr. Van de Gelder with a head like yours. You should be a rich woman someday

00:19:46That's exactly what I had in mind

00:19:48Then I suggest that you go about your business and pick up I'm in God for which I'm paying you good money

00:19:53Oh speaking of business, mr

00:19:55Van de Gelder, um, I suppose you've changed your mind again and given up all idea of getting married. Is that what you suppose?

00:20:02Then suppose you listen to this mrs. Levi. I've decided I practically decided to ask Irene Malloy to be my wife

00:20:11You have yes, I have I'm going to New York and discuss it with her this very afternoon

00:20:18Well, that is just about the best news I have ever heard mr. Van de Gelder. Oh, yes, indeed

00:20:24Marvelous news. Oh dear me. Isn't it wonderful though? I mean, uh, I'm racking my brain here

00:20:28I'm trying to think of something that I've heard that it's made me happier

00:20:31But I just can't come up with a thing because this is just too wonderful. It really is

00:20:35Huh? It's all your fault

00:20:37You know, you put me into this marrying frame of mind with all your introductions and you're scheming

00:20:42A poor widow has to earn a living

00:20:44One morning I wake up and suddenly the whole house seems like an empty shell and pretty messy to

00:20:49Man needs someone to take out the garbage and Irene Malloy is just the one to do it. Oh, darling girl

00:20:56Well, I think it's perfectly wonderful. What's gonna happen in your household. Mr. Van de Gelder

00:21:00I never did like the idea of all that

00:21:03All that money of yours lying around in great piles in the bank

00:21:07So useless and motionless as my late husband f from Levi used to say money money money

00:21:12Should circulate like rainwater

00:21:14It should be flowing down among the people through little dressmakers and cabmen and restaurants

00:21:19Setting up a little business here furnishing a good time over there

00:21:22Oh, I just know that you in the future. Mrs. Van de Gelder will see that all your hard-earned wealth

00:21:28Starts flowing in and around many people's lives just flowing

00:21:32Why?

00:21:33Pouring out

00:21:34Stop saying that

00:21:35I guess there's nothing more for me to do now but wish you every happiness under the sun and say goodbye

00:21:39Mr. Van de Gelder

00:21:41Yes, well, goodbye

00:21:42And when I get back to New York, I'll just tell the other girl I had lined up for you the heiress not to wait

00:21:46What did you say?

00:21:48Oh, nothing, nothing, a word

00:21:50Heiress

00:21:51Well, just a minute. That's uh

00:21:53That's kind of unusual, isn't it, Mrs. Levi?

00:21:56Well, I haven't been wearing myself to the bone hunting up usual girls to interest you, Mr. Van de Gelder

00:22:00But now, of course, all that's too late

00:22:02You're engaged to marry Irene Malloy

00:22:04I am not engaged

00:22:05I cannot keep upsetting and disturbing the finest women in New York City unless you mean business

00:22:09Who said I don't mean business?

00:22:10Well, I hope you do because you're playing a very dangerous game, you know

00:22:13Dangerous?

00:22:14Well, of course it's dangerous

00:22:15It's called tampering with a woman's affections

00:22:17And the only way you can save yourself from that charge, Mr. Van de Gelder, is to get married to someone soon, very soon

00:22:25Don't worry

00:22:26I won't

00:22:27I'll meet you on the bench in front of Irene Malloy's hot shop at 2.30 as usual

00:22:30Never mind, you don't have to. You've already done your work

00:22:32Oh, but I wouldn't miss it for the world

00:22:34I want to be there to make sure that nothing goes wrong

00:22:37Just hand the ironing guard and take it to New York or else I'll ask you to return the fee I gave you for that

00:22:41Speaking of money

00:22:42Oh, no

00:22:43I almost forgot to tell you

00:22:44How much?

00:22:45Well, it seems that I left my return railroad ticket and all my money in my other handbag which I took to the cleaners the other day just before it burnt down

00:22:49Fifty?

00:22:50Fifty

00:22:51Twenty. Oh, bless you

00:22:52And don't you worry your handsome head about a thing, Mr. Van de Gelder

00:22:55Just keep all your thoughts on that lovely Irene Malloy

00:23:06It takes a woman to quietly plan

00:23:11To take him and change him

00:23:16To her kind

00:23:19To her kind

00:23:22To take him and change him

00:23:27To her kind

00:23:30To take him and change him

00:23:35To her kind of man

00:23:39And to gently lead him

00:23:46Where fortune can find him

00:23:51And not let him know

00:23:55That the power behind him

00:24:01Was that dainty woman

00:24:09That fragile woman

00:24:16That sweetheart

00:24:20That mistress

00:24:23That

00:24:25Why?

00:24:32Mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm

00:24:45Da-da-da-da

00:24:49Da-da-da

00:24:53Ah, if he had any taste at all

00:24:57He'd have the shutters done over in green.

00:25:02Forest green shutters.

00:25:12We're running away!

00:25:13Running away?

00:25:14Will you hurry before the train gets here?

00:25:16Train?

00:25:17To New York. To get married.

00:25:18We're going to Elope.

00:25:20Elope? How can you use such an awful word?

00:25:22Wormingard.

00:25:24My, what a romantic scene.

00:25:26Oh, Mrs. Levi, please explain to Ambrose.

00:25:29I want to marry him, but not Elope.

00:25:31This doesn't concern Mrs. Levi.

00:25:33Mr. Kemper, everything concerns Dolly Levi.

00:25:35Don't listen to her. I know why you're here.

00:25:37To help you. And love needs all the help it can get.

00:25:40Get your things and climb out.

00:25:41Wait a minute. Now listen to me, both of you.

00:25:42There's no time.

00:25:43Mr. Kemper, do you mind if we climb in?

00:25:45I'm feeling an up drift in my underpants.

00:25:47Mrs. Levi.

00:25:48This is no way to Elope.

00:25:49If you follow my suggestions, not only will Horace Vandergelder give you permission to get married,

00:25:53but he will also dance at your wedding.

00:25:55Well, neither.

00:25:56Mr. Kemper.

00:25:57Yes?

00:25:58Can you dance?

00:25:59Dance?

00:26:00Yes, dance.

00:26:01I'm an artist, Mrs. Levi. I paint.

00:26:02No problem.

00:26:03Mrs. Dolly Levi, painters talk how to dance.

00:26:05Now, here's what we'll do.

00:26:06Wormingard, I'm going to take you to New York as your uncle requested.

00:26:08You see, I told you.

00:26:09You, Mr. Kemper, will stay close by.

00:26:10I will?

00:26:11Tonight you will take her to dinner at the Harmonia Gardens restaurant.

00:26:13From what?

00:26:14There's this man there, Rudolph Reisenweber.

00:26:16He knows me well.

00:26:17We'll enter you and Wormingard in the poker contest.

00:26:19The poker contest?

00:26:20The prize is a gold cup and some money, and you'll win it.

00:26:22We'll see to that.

00:26:23The cups will be won by my husband and I.

00:26:25Now, wait a minute.

00:26:26I'm surprised that you have acquaintances in a place like that, Mrs. Levi.

00:26:29Not acquaintances, Wormingard.

00:26:31Friends.

00:26:32Dear friends from days gone by.

00:26:35My late husband, Ephraim Levi, believed in life.

00:26:38Any place you could find it, wherever there were people, all kinds of people.

00:26:43And every Friday night, even when times were bad,

00:26:47every Friday night, like clockwork,

00:26:50down those stairs of the Harmonia Gardens we came, Ephraim and I.

00:26:57Not acquaintances, Wormingard.

00:26:59Friends.

00:27:00It's all very well for you, Mrs. Levi, but you're suggesting that Wormingard and I...

00:27:04Mr. Kemper, do you or do you not wish to show Horace Vandergelter that you two mean business?

00:27:08Yes.

00:27:09Well, all right, then.

00:27:10You must go to the Harmonia Gardens restaurant and say that Mrs. Levi sent you,

00:27:13and, oh, yes, well, tell Rudolph, tell Rudolph that Dolly's coming back.

00:27:19Dolly's coming back.

00:27:20Yes, and I want a table for two and a stuffed chicken for eight o'clock.

00:27:23Eight o'clock.

00:27:24Mr. Vandergelter will learn of your triumph in the poker contest,

00:27:26and everything will work out beautifully.

00:27:28But how, Mrs. Levi, how?

00:27:31How?

00:27:36Twenty-eight and three-quarter years old, and I still don't get an evening free.

00:27:40When am I going to begin to live?

00:27:43Barnaby, how much money have you got?

00:27:47Huh?

00:27:48I mean that you can get your hands on.

00:27:50About three dollars.

00:27:51Why?

00:27:52Barnaby, you and I are going to New York.

00:27:56As quickly as we can.

00:27:57Close the store?

00:27:58We'll have to, because some rotten cans of chicken mash are going to explode.

00:28:02Holy cabooses!

00:28:03How do you know?

00:28:04Because I'm going to light some candles under them.

00:28:06You are?

00:28:07They'll make such a stink that customers won't be able to come into this place for 24 hours.

00:28:10That'll get us an evening free.

00:28:12We are going to New York, Barnaby, and we are going to live.

00:28:15We're going to have a good meal.

00:28:16We're going to be in danger.

00:28:17We're going to get almost arrested, and we're going to spend all our money.

00:28:20Holy cabooses!

00:28:22And one more thing.

00:28:23We are not coming back to Yonkers until we've each kissed a girl.

00:28:28Cornelius, you can't do that.

00:28:30You don't know any girls.

00:28:33I'm 28 and three-quarters.

00:28:36I'm going to begin sometime.

00:28:38I'm going to begin sometime.

00:28:40I'm only 19 and a half.

00:28:42With me, it's not so urgent.

00:28:44May I make a suggestion, gentlemen?

00:28:47Mrs. Levi.

00:28:49I just couldn't help hearing.

00:28:51We'll be fired.

00:28:52We were only talking.

00:28:54Mr. Hackett, Mr. Tucker,

00:28:56there is nothing that makes me happier than the thought of two fine young men such as yourselves

00:29:01and drawing the company of two lovely ladies.

00:29:05What ladies?

00:29:06Where?

00:29:07In New York, Mr. Hackett, to which, unless my ears play me tricks, you are bound.

00:29:11Now, there's this millinery shop run by a charming woman.

00:29:16Irene Malloy?

00:29:17And her most attractive assistant, Miss Minnie Fay.

00:29:19Holy cabooses.

00:29:21And now that you've noted the address, I have only this to say.

00:29:24Two o'clock in the afternoon there is the ideal time for friendly conversation.

00:29:28Definitely no later than 2.30.

00:29:30And if you ever say that this was my suggestion,

00:29:33well, I should denounce you both for the terrible liars that you are.

00:29:42A millinery shop.

00:29:44Women work.

00:29:45Adventure, Barnaby.

00:29:47I'm scared.

00:29:48Living, Barnaby.

00:29:49Scared.

00:29:50Will you come, Barnaby?

00:29:51Yes, Cornelius, yes.

00:29:53The lights of Broadway.

00:29:55Elevated trains.

00:29:56The stuffed whale of Barnum's Museum.

00:29:59Stuffed whale.

00:30:00Wow.

00:30:02Women who work.

00:30:03Wow.

00:30:05All clear up here, Cornelius.

00:30:07Gonna light them all?

00:30:08Hey, Cornelius, look out.

00:30:09That bottom row.

00:30:11They're swallowed up like they're ready to bust.

00:30:14Holy cabooses.

00:30:15What a spell.

00:30:16Let's get dressed, Barnaby.

00:30:18We're going to New York.

00:30:22Out there, there's a world outside of Yonkers.

00:30:27Way out there beyond this hit town, Barnaby.

00:30:32There's a slick town, Barnaby.

00:30:36Out there, full of shine and full of sparkle.

00:30:41Close your eyes and see it.

00:30:44Listen, Barnaby.

00:30:47Listen, Barnaby.

00:30:56Put on your Sunday clothes.

00:30:58There's lots of world out there.

00:31:01Get out the brilliant teen and dime cigars.

00:31:06We're gonna find adventure in the evening air.

00:31:11Girls in white in a perfume night with the lights as bright as the stars.

00:31:16Put on your Sunday clothes.

00:31:18We're gonna ride through town.

00:31:21In one of those new horse-drawn open cars.

00:31:26We'll see the shows of Delmonico's and we'll close the town in a whirl.

00:31:31And we won't come home until we've kissed a girl.

00:31:36Put on your Sunday clothes when you feel down and out.

00:31:41Strut down the street and have your picture took.

00:31:46Dressed like a dream, your spirits seem to turn about.

00:31:51That Sunday shine is a certain sign that you feel as fine as you look.

00:31:57Beneath your parasol, the world is all a smile.

00:32:02That makes you feel brand new down to your toes.

00:32:07Get out your feathers, your platen, levers, your beads and buckles and bows.

00:32:12Oh, there's no blue Monday in your Sunday.

00:32:15No Monday in your Sunday, no.

00:32:18No Monday in your Sunday clothes.

00:32:23Put on your Sunday clothes when you feel down and out.

00:32:28Strut down the street and have your picture took.

00:32:33Dressed like a dream, your spirits seem to turn about.

00:32:38That Sunday shine is a certain sign that you feel as fine as you look.

00:32:43Beneath your parasol, the world is all a smile.

00:32:48That makes you feel brand new down to your toes.

00:32:53Get out your feathers, your platen, levers, your beads and buckles and bows.

00:32:58Oh, there's no blue Monday in your Sunday clothes.

00:33:13No.

00:33:24Put on your Sunday clothes when you feel down and out.

00:33:29Strut down the street and have your picture took.

00:33:34Dressed like a dream, your spirits seem to turn about.

00:33:39That Sunday shine is a certain sign that you feel as fine as you look.

00:33:44Beneath your hologram, the world's a simple song.

00:33:49A lovely look that makes you tilt your nose.

00:33:54Get out your slippers, your platen, levers, your beads and buckles and bows.

00:34:01Oh, there's no blue Monday in your Sunday.

00:34:09No.

00:34:12No blue Monday in your Sunday clothes.

00:34:23Ermine, God keep smiling. No man wants a little ninny.

00:34:26Ambrose, do a turn. Let me see.

00:34:29Mr. Hackle, Mr. Tucker, don't forget Irene and Minnie.

00:34:32Just forget you ever heard a word from me.

00:34:35All aboard! All aboard! All aboard!

00:34:45Put on your Sunday clothes, there's lots of world out there.

00:34:51Put on your silk robot and platen shoes.

00:34:57We're gonna find adventure in the evening air.

00:35:03To town, we're trapped to a smoky spot where the girls are hot as a fire.

00:35:09Put on your suit by Hannah, the Joan of Arc.

00:35:15We'll wear a hand-made bracelet, buttoned up.

00:35:19You wanna take New York by storm?

00:35:21We'll join the Astors at Tony Pass.

00:35:24In a trend based on positive odds.

00:35:27But we won't come home. No, we won't come home.

00:35:33No, we won't come home until we've won this war.

00:35:58Do get done with that, Minnie. The men are eyeing us for the wrong reason.

00:36:02A banana day keeps the doctor away.

00:36:03You mean an apple a day.

00:36:05Who ever heard of a doctor sleeping on an apple field?

00:36:07How are you, Miss Malloy?

00:36:08If I felt any better, I'd be positively indecent.

00:36:11You are in a mood today.

00:36:12I certainly am.

00:36:13Paper?

00:36:16Not that it's any of my business, but...

00:36:18Yes?

00:36:19Oh, but is it because, I mean...

00:36:20Minnie, I don't mind that you never finish your lunch,

00:36:23but I do mind that you never finish your sentences.

00:36:25Well, what I meant was, are you really going to?

00:36:27I mean...

00:36:28Silly girl, say it.

00:36:29Am I going to marry you or his fan together?

00:36:31Yes, I'm seriously considering it, if he asks me.

00:36:34Oh, Miss Malloy, I'd rather die on the rack than ask you such a personal question.

00:36:38But as long as we're on the subject, why would you? I mean...

00:36:40Because he's rich, Minnie.

00:36:41That's why he can rescue me from the millinery business I hate half.

00:36:44Hate half?

00:36:45A good afternoon to you, Officer Gogarty.

00:36:49And the rest of the day to you, Miss Malloy.

00:36:52Oh, Minnie, why is it that all the attractive men in New York are married?

00:36:56Plenty, Miss Malloy, plenty.

00:36:58Come on now, get going.

00:37:04Oh, the way you talk.

00:37:06It's natural to talk about men.

00:37:08I mean what you said about hating hats.

00:37:09Oh, not just hats. Particularly the women who buy them.

00:37:12You don't mean that, Irene Malloy.

00:37:14Oh, yes, I do, Minnie.

00:37:15All lady milliners are suspected of being wicked women.

00:37:18Wicked women?

00:37:19Half the time those dowagers who come into the shop come in merely to stare at me and wonder about me.

00:37:23Oh, how dare they.

00:37:24And if they were certain I was a wicked woman, they wouldn't set foot in the shop again.

00:37:27Well, good riddance. Who needs them?

00:37:29We do, unfortunately.

00:37:31So, do I go out to restaurants?

00:37:33No, it would be bad for business.

00:37:35Do I go to balls or theaters or operas?

00:37:38No, it would be bad for business.

00:37:41The only men I ever get to meet are the feather merchants who come in here to sell me things.

00:37:46Minnie, I'm sick and tired of being suspected of being a wicked woman with nothing to show for it.

00:37:52Oh, Miss Malloy.

00:37:53Why does everybody have adventures but me?

00:37:55Adventures?

00:37:56Because I have no spirit. That's why. No gumption.

00:37:59Oh, either I marry Horace Vandergelder or I'm going to burn this shop down and break out like a fire engine and find myself some excitement.

00:38:07The things you're saying today. I think they're just awful.

00:38:10Oh, aren't they, though?

00:38:12And I'm enjoying every word of it.

00:38:14What's this? A return for Miss Mortimer again?

00:38:17Same old story. She wants cherries and feathers, cherries and feathers to catch a bow, I suppose.

00:38:22If you ask me, she'd do better with a heavy veil.

00:38:25Well, I told her ribbons down the back is the thing this summer to catch a gentleman's eye.

00:38:30But she'd have none of it, cherries and feathers she wants.

00:38:33Minnie, make another hat for Miss Mortimer.

00:38:35I'm wearing this one myself.

00:38:37Oh, but you can't.

00:38:39Why not?

00:38:40Oh, because it's provocative. That's why not.

00:38:44Well, who knows that provocative isn't just what I might want to be today.

00:38:51I'll be wearing ribbons down my back this summer.

00:38:58Blue and green and streaming in the yellow sky.

00:39:05So if someone special comes my way this summer,

00:39:12he might notice me passing by.

00:39:22And so I'll try to make it easier to find me

00:39:31in the stillness of July.

00:39:37Because a breeze might stir a rainbow up behind me

00:39:45that might happen to catch the gentleman's eye.

00:39:54And he might smile and take me by the hand this summer.

00:40:06Making me recall how lovely love can be.

00:40:23And so I will proudly wear

00:40:33ribbons down my back

00:40:41shining in my hair

00:40:51that he might notice me.

00:41:08Miss Molloy, you don't love Horace Vandergilde, do you?

00:41:12Of course I don't love him.

00:41:14Then how can you... I mean...

00:41:16Minnie, look. There are two men staring at the shop.

00:41:19Two men?

00:41:20Uh-huh.

00:41:21Aren't they delicious?

00:41:23You don't think? I mean, it isn't possible.

00:41:25Yes, I do believe they mean to come in here.

00:41:27Men in the shop?

00:41:28Oh, well, we do.

00:41:29You? Well, I flirt with them, of course.

00:41:31I'll give you the short one.

00:41:32Miss Molloy, you're terrible.

00:41:33I'll get them all heated up and then we'll drop them cold.

00:41:35It'll be good practice for married life.

00:41:37Let's go into the workroom and pretty ourselves up a bit.

00:41:39If you say vamp, I'll scream.

00:41:40Vamp!

00:41:41Ah!

00:41:44I must say, I like the tall one.

00:41:48Adventure, Barnaby.

00:41:49We can still catch the train back to Yonkers.

00:41:52Oh, I feel dizzy.

00:41:54Or go see the stuffed whale at the museum.

00:41:57Women, Barnaby.

00:41:59Stuffed.

00:42:01Women.

00:42:10There's no one here. We can leave.

00:42:13I'd never forgive myself.

00:42:16Huh.

00:42:18Are you sure this is an adventure, Cornelius?

00:42:21You don't have to ask, Barnaby.

00:42:22When you're in one, you'll know it all right.

00:42:24How much money have we got left?

00:42:2640 cents for the train back, 30 cents for dinner,

00:42:28and 20 cents to see the whale.

00:42:30Well, when they come out, we'll pretend we're rich.

00:42:33That way we won't have to spend anything.

00:42:35Why don't we just say that Mrs. Levi sent us?

00:42:37No, we're not supposed to ever say that.

00:42:39Shh.

00:42:40We're two men about town looking for hats for ladies.

00:42:44What ladies?

00:42:46Good afternoon, ma'am.

00:42:48Wonderful weather we're having.

00:42:50How'd you do, ma'am?

00:42:52And how are your hats?

00:42:53Charmed to make your acquaintance.

00:42:55A lovely place you have here.

00:42:57Good afternoon, gentlemen.

00:43:03Cornelius Hackle here.

00:43:04Barnaby Tucker here.

00:43:06Irene Malloy here.

00:43:10I'm very happy to meet you.

00:43:12Is there anything I can do for you?

00:43:20Well, you see, we're two ladies about town

00:43:22looking for some hats to Malloy, and we wanted...

00:43:24We're hats, you see, and we wondered if we could

00:43:26buy a lady or two to Malloy with for the afternoon.

00:43:29We want a hat.

00:43:31Well, for a lady, of course.

00:43:33And everyone said to go to Miss Malloy's

00:43:35because she's so pretty.

00:43:38I mean, her hats are so pretty.

00:43:41And what sort of hat would Mrs. Hackle be liking?

00:43:46Oh, no, Miss Malloy, there is no Mrs. Hackle.

00:43:49Yes, there is. Your mother.

00:43:52She didn't mean that.

00:43:55Did you, Miss Malloy?

00:43:57Now, this lady friend of yours,

00:43:59couldn't she come in with you someday

00:44:01and choose the hat herself?

00:44:03Impossible. There is no lady friend.

00:44:07But I thought you said that you were coming here to choose...

00:44:10I mean, she's Barnaby's.

00:44:12Huh? What?

00:44:14Yes, but she lives in Yonkers,

00:44:17and she said to pick out something reasonable,

00:44:19under a dollar.

00:44:21Don't be silly, Barnaby. Money's no object with us.

00:44:23None at all.

00:44:26Oh, this is my assistant, Miss Minnie Fay,

00:44:28Mr. Hackle, Mr. Tucker.

00:44:30Good afternoon, ma'am.

00:44:32Afternoon, ma'am.

00:44:34Oh!

00:44:39Excuse me, Mr. Tucker.

00:44:41Did you say Yonkers?

00:44:43Yes, ma'am. We're from Yonkers.

00:44:46Well, are you?

00:44:48Yes.

00:44:50And forgive me for saying this,

00:44:52but you should see Yonkers, Miss Malloy.

00:44:54Well, by that I mean,

00:44:56perhaps you and your gentleman friend here in New York

00:44:58might like to see it.

00:45:00Some say it's the most beautiful town in the world.

00:45:03That's what they say.

00:45:05So I've heard.

00:45:07But I'm afraid I don't have a gentleman friend here in New York.

00:45:09You don't?

00:45:11Barnaby, she doesn't have a gentleman friend.

00:45:13Hey, that's too bad.

00:45:15You know, if you should happen to have a Sunday free,

00:45:17you're Catholic, aren't you?

00:45:19Well, don't let that worry you.

00:45:21I'd be willing to change.

00:45:23If you're free in the near future,

00:45:25I'd...

00:45:27Well, we'd like to show you Yonkers

00:45:29from top to bottom.

00:45:31It's very historic.

00:45:33As a matter of fact, Mr. Hackle,

00:45:35I might be there sooner than you think.

00:45:37This Sunday?

00:45:39You see, I have a friend who lives in Yonkers.

00:45:41You do?

00:45:43Perhaps you know him.

00:45:45I do?

00:45:47Oh, it's always so foolish to ask in cases like that, isn't it?

00:45:49Why should you know him?

00:45:51It's a Mr. Vandergelder.

00:45:53Mr. Vandergelder?

00:45:55Horace Vandergelder?

00:45:57Vandergelder's hay and feed?

00:45:59No! No, no, no, no.

00:46:01As a matter of fact, Mr. Vandergelder's coming here

00:46:03to see me this very afternoon.

00:46:05Coming here this afternoon?

00:46:07Cornelius! Cornelius, look!

00:46:09His wolf trap!

00:46:11Look out!

00:46:15Beg any pardon, Miss Malloy.

00:46:17Gentlemen, what are you doing?

00:46:19We'll explain later. Just help us just this once.

00:46:21Come out of there this minute!

00:46:23We're as innocent as can be, Miss Malloy.

00:46:25Mr. Hackle, Mr. Tucker,

00:46:27I insist that you both come out or I'll be forced to...

00:46:29Mr. Vandergelder, how nice to see you.

00:46:31And, Dolly Levi, what a surprise.

00:46:33Irene, my darling, how well you look.

00:46:35You must be in love.

00:46:37Afternoon, Miss Malloy.

00:46:39What a pleasure to have you in New York,

00:46:41Mr. Vandergelder.

00:46:43Yes, Yonkers lies up there decimated today.

00:46:45We thought we'd pay you a little visit,

00:46:47Irene,

00:46:49unless it's inconvenient.

00:46:51Inconvenient?

00:46:53Whatever gave you that idea?

00:46:55Mr. Vandergelder thought he saw two customers in the shop.

00:46:57Two, uh, men.

00:46:59Men?

00:47:01In a ladies' hat shop?

00:47:05Come, let's go into my workroom,

00:47:07Mr. Vandergelder. I'm so eager for you to see it.

00:47:09I've already seen it twice.

00:47:11But, uh, I need your advice.

00:47:13Advice from Mr. Vandergelder.

00:47:15The whole city should hear this and grow rich.

00:47:17Advice is cheap, Miss Malloy.

00:47:19It's the things that come gift-wrapped that count.

00:47:21I have never heard it put more beautifully.

00:47:23Thank you, Mr. Vandergelder.

00:47:25Chocolate-covered peanuts.

00:47:27Unshelled. They're the expensive kind.

00:47:29Why don't we open them in the workroom?

00:47:31Miss Malloy,

00:47:33I've come here today because I have important

00:47:35business to discuss with you.

00:47:37Just as soon as Mrs. Levi

00:47:39says goodbye.

00:47:41Pay no attention to me. I'm just browsing.

00:47:43Business, Mr. Vandergelder?

00:47:45The hay-and-feed business?

00:47:47Well, not exactly.

00:47:49A new hat shop in Yonkers?

00:47:51A city and quite historic, according...

00:47:55Yes, go on.

00:47:57Who's been telling you about Yonkers, may I ask?

00:47:59Oh, nobody.

00:48:01A friend.

00:48:03A friend?

00:48:05Well, you see, he...

00:48:07He?

00:48:09Yes. Uh, he...

00:48:11His name, Miss Malloy.

00:48:13What?

00:48:15His name.

00:48:17Oh, I believe it was...

00:48:19Cornelius Hackle of Yonkers.

00:48:23Cornelius Hackle?

00:48:25Yes. Do you know him?

00:48:27He's my head clerk.

00:48:29He is?

00:48:31Yes, he's been in my store for ten years.

00:48:33Where would you have known him?

00:48:35Uh, just one of those chance meetings, I suppose.

00:48:37Yes, oh, yes, one of those chance meetings.

00:48:39Chance meetings? Cornelius Hackle has no right

00:48:41to chance meetings. Where was it?

00:48:43Really, Mr. Vandergelder,

00:48:45it's very unlike you to question me in such a way.

00:48:47He'll come out in hours later. Mr. Vandergelder,

00:48:49your head clerk is better known than you think he is.

00:48:51Nonsense. Oh, yes, he's in New York all the time.

00:48:53He goes everywhere. He's very well liked.

00:48:55Everybody knows Cornelius Hackle.

00:48:57He never comes to New York. He wakes all day in my store,

00:48:59and then he goes to sleep in the brand room at 9 o'clock.

00:49:01So you think, but it's not true.

00:49:03Dolly Levi, you are mistaken.

00:49:05Horace Vandergelder, you keep your nose so deep

00:49:07in your account books, you don't even know what goes on.

00:49:09Yes, by day,

00:49:11Cornelius Hackle is your faithful, trusted clerk,

00:49:13but by night, oh, by night,

00:49:15he leads a double life, that is all.

00:49:17Why, he is...

00:49:19Why, he's here, at the opera,

00:49:21at the great restaurants

00:49:23in all the fashionable homes.

00:49:25He's even at the Harmony Gardens restaurant,

00:49:27you know, two, three times a week. The fact is,

00:49:29Mr. Vandergelder, he is the wittiest,

00:49:31he is the gayest, he is the naughtiest,

00:49:33most delightful man in New York City.

00:49:35He's just... He's the, the

00:49:37famous Cornelius Hackle, that's all.

00:49:39It ain't the same man.

00:49:41If I thought that Cornelius Hackle came to New York,

00:49:43I'd discharge him.

00:49:45Who took the horses out of Jenny Lynn's carriage and pulled her through the streets?

00:49:47Who? Cornelius Hackle.

00:49:49Who, the other night, dressed up as a waiter at the Fifth Avenue hotel,

00:49:51and took an oyster and dropped it right down.

00:49:53No, it's too wicked, I can't say it.

00:49:55Say it. No, but it was Cornelius Hackle.

00:49:57It ain't the same man.

00:49:59Where'd he get the money? Oh, he's very rich.

00:50:01Rich? I keep his money in my own safe.

00:50:03He has $145.36.

00:50:05Oh, Mr. Vandergelder,

00:50:07you are killing me. He's one of the Hackles.

00:50:09The Hackles? Yes, they built the, uh,

00:50:11the Raritan Canal. Then why would he work in my store?

00:50:13Well, I'll tell you. I don't want to hear it.

00:50:15I'm going home. I have a headache.

00:50:17It ain't the same man. I tell you, he sleeps in my brand room.

00:50:19You can't get away from facts. I just made him my chief click.

00:50:21If you had any sense, you'd make him a partner.

00:50:23Irene, darling, I can see

00:50:25you were as taken with him as everybody else is.

00:50:27But I only met him once, very hastily.

00:50:29Now, don't you be thinking of marrying him.

00:50:31Darling, what are you saying? You think it over carefully.

00:50:33He breaks hearts like Icarinas.

00:50:35Who? Cornelius Hackle.

00:50:37Miss Molloy, how long has he been

00:50:39calling on you? Mr. Vandergelder,

00:50:41suppose I were to tell you that he has not

00:50:43been calling on me. Excuse me.

00:50:45Not now, Minnie.

00:50:55Stop singing, Minnie. There's a man in there.

00:50:57That's not amusing, Minnie. But there's a man in there.

00:50:59And we don't wish to be interrupted. There's a man in there.

00:51:01Go back to the workroom immediately. Immediately.

00:51:03The poor dear is tired from overwork.

00:51:05But there's a man in there.

00:51:07We'll get him out.

00:51:09Whoever you are, come over.

00:51:11Mr. Vandergelder, do you realize what you're saying?

00:51:13I certainly do. Now, just a minute.

00:51:15Before you make another move

00:51:17or say another word that you might regret,

00:51:19allow me.

00:51:21Dolly. Stand back.

00:51:29There. You see?

00:51:31So much for this nonsense about that

00:51:33darling girl hiding a man

00:51:35in her closet. I think we'll just forget

00:51:37you ever said it. Now, wait a minute. It's forgotten.

00:51:39Yes. Because there's

00:51:41nobody in there.

00:51:43Yes. God bless you.

00:51:55Miss Malloy.

00:51:57Yes, Mr. Vandergelder,

00:51:59there is a man in there.

00:52:01I see. There also happens

00:52:03to be a very simple explanation.

00:52:05But for the present, I think I should

00:52:07just thank you for your visit and say

00:52:09good afternoon.

00:52:11Miss! Miss!

00:52:15Another?

00:52:17Another.

00:52:19Good Lord. The whole room is

00:52:21crawling with men. Irene, darling,

00:52:23congratulations.

00:52:25Miss Malloy,

00:52:27I shan't trouble you again.

00:52:29And I hope vice versa.

00:52:33Morris, where are you going?

00:52:35To march in the 14th street

00:52:37parade with the kind of people I can trust.

00:52:39700 men.

00:52:41700 men.

00:53:03Now.

00:53:05Have you met Miss Minnie Faye?

00:53:07Just do me the pleasure of leaving my shop or I shall call for

00:53:09you. Don't be silly, Irene. There's no fun in a jailhouse.

00:53:11Yeah, of course.

00:53:13Please, everybody, don't talk at once.

00:53:15Just because you're rich in fame

00:53:17doesn't mean that you can cause all this trouble

00:53:19without making up for it. We'll do anything.

00:53:21Irene, this is Cornelius Hackle.

00:53:23We've already met. How do you do?

00:53:25Jail is absolutely out. Cornelius, explain

00:53:27to her. I'm Cornelius Hackle.

00:53:29It seems to me that the only way

00:53:31to make up for it, yes, of course, of course. Irene,

00:53:33darling, you've sent for the law at once.

00:53:35You're going to have them both put away for years on a charge like this.

00:53:37How will these help? Only have dinner with them first.

00:53:39Dinner? Well, that's to show you that you try to settle

00:53:41amicably. That's the way things are

00:53:43done in the law. Dinner first, life imprisonment later.

00:53:45It's a lovely day. It's going to be a lovelier

00:53:47evening. Who knows what's going to happen before you send them

00:53:49off to jail? Mr. Hackle!

00:53:51All by all means. It's what Barnaby

00:53:53and I had in mind all along. Minnie, you

00:53:55and I have been respectable for years. Now we're

00:53:57in disgrace. We might as well make the most of it.

00:53:59We'd be delighted to accept. It is the only

00:54:01sensible thing to do. Cornelius!

00:54:03Now

00:54:05I know a little donut shop in the railway

00:54:07station. Donut shop?

00:54:09Certainly not. We want

00:54:11a fine dinner in the heart of the fashionable world.

00:54:13And I know just the place.

00:54:15The Harmonia Gardens on 14th Street.

00:54:17Your favorite restaurant,

00:54:19Mr. Hackle. The finest food that

00:54:21money can buy in a lovely orchestra.

00:54:23A poker contest this very night.

00:54:25Dancing? You just ask for Rudolph, we'll give

00:54:27you the best table. Oh, we could never

00:54:29go there. Oh, no. It sounds

00:54:31marvelous. Come, Minnie.

00:54:33We'll close the shop and take the whole

00:54:35afternoon off. Oh, I mean we

00:54:37could never. Don't misunderstand

00:54:39me. It isn't the money or

00:54:41anything. It's the

00:54:43the

00:54:45What, Mr. Hackle?

00:54:47It's the dancing. You see, I

00:54:49don't know how. And they have contests

00:54:51and things like that at a Harmonia

00:54:53whatever it is. You said so yourself and I don't

00:54:55know how. It would take me weeks, months,

00:54:57years to learn.

00:54:59Mrs. Dolly Levi,

00:55:0128 and 3 quarter year old

00:55:03chief clerk's taught Helen.

00:55:05Now, you just put one arm here

00:55:07and one arm there. It's no use.

00:55:09I have absolutely no sense of rhythm.

00:55:11Absolutely no sense of rhythm

00:55:13is one of the primary requirements for

00:55:15learning by the Levi method.

00:55:17Just give me five minutes of your time, Mr. Hackle.

00:55:19I'll have you dancing in the streets. I think we'll start

00:55:21with Lesson 7, Walls Kick Turn. Now,

00:55:23it's very simple. You just go right foot touch, left foot touch,

00:55:25under, back around, touch, back, through, around,

00:55:27behind, out, over, release,

00:55:29unfurl. Oh, oh,

00:55:31that's just absolutely wonderful, Mr.

00:55:33Hackle. When I think of the lucky

00:55:35women who'll find heaven in your arms,

00:55:37I think we'll go back to Lesson 1,

00:55:39shall we? Put your

00:55:41hand on her waist

00:55:43and stand

00:55:45with her right

00:55:47in your left

00:55:49hand

00:55:51and

00:55:53one

00:55:55and

00:55:57one

00:55:59two

00:56:01three

00:56:03one

00:56:05two

00:56:07three. Oh, no, this one.

00:56:09And one

00:56:11two

00:56:13three

00:56:15one

00:56:17two

00:56:19three. Look!

00:56:21I'm dancing!

00:56:23I was.

00:56:25Of course you were, Mr. Hackle.

00:56:27Take

00:56:29the

00:56:31someone whose arms

00:56:33you're in

00:56:35hold on

00:56:37to her tight

00:56:39and spin

00:56:41and one

00:56:43two three, one two

00:56:45three, one two

00:56:47three. Look! I'm

00:56:49dancing!

00:56:51Come here.

00:56:53Turn around and turn around,

00:56:55try floating through the air.

00:56:57Can't you be a little more

00:56:59aesthetic?

00:57:01Don't you think my dancing has

00:57:03some polish and a flair?

00:57:05The word I think I'd use is

00:57:07athletic.

00:57:09Well, my heart is about

00:57:11to burst.

00:57:13My head is about

00:57:15to pop. And

00:57:17now that I'm dancing,

00:57:19who cares if I ever

00:57:21stop? That's

00:57:23wonderful. Look, everybody!

00:57:25I, Cornelius

00:57:27Hackle, sport! I'm

00:57:29dancing!

00:57:31You're next, Mr. Tucker.

00:57:37Glide

00:57:39and step

00:57:41and then

00:57:43step

00:57:45and glide.

00:57:47And everyone,

00:57:49stand aside.

00:57:51Not yet, Mr. Tucker.

00:57:53One two three, one two three, one

00:57:55two three. Look!

00:57:57He's dancing. I think he's

00:57:59holding out on us. You could

00:58:01learn to polka if you worked

00:58:03a week or so. Or the tango

00:58:05filled with passion seething.

00:58:07I might join the

00:58:09chorus of the Castle Garden

00:58:11show. Whatever you do,

00:58:13Mr. Tucker, keep breathing.

00:58:15For my heart is about

00:58:17to burst.

00:58:19My head is about

00:58:21to pop. And

00:58:23now that we're dancing, who

00:58:25cares if we ever

00:58:27stop?

00:58:39Come on.

00:58:45Come on.

00:59:15Come on.

00:59:45Come on.

00:59:47Come on.

00:59:49Come on.

00:59:51Come on.

00:59:53Come on.

00:59:55Come on.

00:59:57Come on.

00:59:59Come on.

01:00:01Come on.

01:00:03Come on.

01:00:05Come on.

01:00:07Come on.

01:00:09Come on.

01:00:11Come on.

01:00:13Come on.

01:00:15Come on.

01:00:17Come on.

01:00:19Come on.

01:00:31When there's

01:00:33someone you hardly know

01:00:37and wish you were closer

01:00:39to, remember

01:00:41Remember that he can be near to you

01:00:49Though you've only just said hello

01:00:53She's suddenly someone who can

01:00:58Make all your daydreams appear to you while you're dancing

01:01:11Don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry

01:01:41don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don

01:02:11worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry

01:02:41don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don

01:03:11worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry

01:03:41don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don

01:04:11イ

01:04:17dolly dolly cornelius is taking us to see the parade everyone will be marching come on mrs

01:04:24Levi oh dolly the world is full of such wonderful things

01:04:33hurry before the parade passes by

01:04:35Yes, I will. I will.

01:04:50Before the parade passes by

01:04:54Before it all moves on

01:04:59And only I'm left

01:05:02Before the parade passes by

01:05:12I've got to get in step

01:05:16While there's still time left

01:05:20I'm ready to move out in front

01:05:27Life without life

01:05:31Has no reason or rhyme left

01:05:37With the rest of them

01:05:41With the best of them

01:05:45I want to hold my head up high

01:05:54I need a goal again

01:05:58I need a drive again

01:06:01I want to feel my heart

01:06:06Coming alive again

01:06:12Before the parade

01:06:20Passes by

01:06:34Ephraim, let me go.

01:06:39It's been long enough, Ephraim.

01:06:43Every night, just like you'd want me to,

01:06:48I've put out the can, made myself a rum toddy,

01:06:53and before I went to bed, said a little prayer,

01:06:56thanking God that I was independent,

01:06:59that no one else's life was mixed up with mine.

01:07:07But lately, Ephraim,

01:07:10I've begun to realize that,

01:07:13for a long time,

01:07:16I have not shed one tear,

01:07:20nor have I been for one moment

01:07:25outrageously happy.

01:07:28Now, Horace Vandergelder,

01:07:31he's always saying,

01:07:33the world is full of fools.

01:07:35And in a way, he's right, isn't he?

01:07:37I mean himself, Cornelius, Irene, myself.

01:07:40But there comes a time when you have got to decide

01:07:43whether you want to be a fool among fools

01:07:46or a fool alone.

01:07:49Well, I have made that decision, Ephraim.

01:07:53But I would feel so much better about it

01:07:56if you could just give me a sign,

01:07:59any kind of a sign that you approve.

01:08:02I'm going back, Ephraim.

01:08:04I've decided to join the human race again.

01:08:07And, Ephraim,

01:08:10I want you to give me away.

01:08:14Before the parade

01:08:17passes by,

01:08:20I've got to go and taste

01:08:23Saturday's high life.

01:08:25Before the parade

01:08:28passes by,

01:08:30I've got to get some life

01:08:33back into my life.

01:08:35I'm ready to move

01:08:38out in front.

01:08:39I've had enough of just passing by life.

01:08:44With the rest of them,

01:08:46with the best of them,

01:08:48I can hold my head up high.

01:08:52For I've got to go again.

01:08:55I've got to drive again.

01:08:57I've got to feel my heart

01:08:59coming alive again.

01:09:01Before the parade

01:09:04passes by.

01:09:35Before the parade

01:09:39passes by.

01:10:04Before the parade

01:10:08passes by.

01:10:14Before the parade

01:10:18passes by.

01:10:22Before the parade

01:10:26passes by.

01:10:30Before the parade

01:10:34passes by.

01:11:05Parade, halt!

01:11:08Parade, halt!

01:11:32Parade, halt!

01:11:34Parade, halt!

01:11:37Dolly Levi!

01:11:40Hi!

01:11:42Gussie Granger!

01:11:44What in the world are you doing here?

01:11:46Earning an honest dollar,

01:11:47which is more than I've made

01:11:48in a legitimate stage in two years.

01:11:50I haven't a pity on you.

01:11:52But to me, Packers float.

01:11:54Listen, if there was more money in it,

01:11:56I'd play White at a Feast.

01:12:04Parade, halt!

01:12:06Parade, halt!

01:12:08Parade, halt!

01:12:10Parade, halt!

01:12:12Parade, halt!

01:12:14I came here for some privacy.

01:12:17I owe you an apology, Mr. Gladiator.

01:12:19And I didn't want to let it go another minute.

01:12:21You owe me more than that.

01:12:22What about the fee I gave you

01:12:23for getting me tangled up

01:12:24with that collector of men's hats?

01:12:26Yes, Irene Malloy,

01:12:27she was a disappointment, darling girl.

01:12:29I'll have you know the confectioner

01:12:30gave me back every cent

01:12:31for those chocolate-covered peanuts.

01:12:32Well, I'm sorry.

01:12:33I never give cash refunds.

01:12:34If there was a shred of decency in you...

01:12:35However, being an honest woman

01:12:37who believes in giving service

01:12:38that's been paid for,

01:12:39I've already arranged to make it up to you.

01:12:41Dolly Levi, let me make one thing clear.

01:12:43You have been discharged as my marriage broker.

01:12:45I have no further use for one.

01:12:47From now on, you are just a woman

01:12:48like anyone else.

01:12:50I am?

01:12:51And I'm just a man like anyone else.

01:12:53And just like anyone else,

01:12:54I will do everything I can

01:12:55to avoid a reduction

01:12:56such as you specialize in.

01:12:58Well, I can understand your feelings

01:12:59in the matter, Mr. Vandergelder.

01:13:00And I am here today

01:13:01marching beside you

01:13:02to assure you

01:13:03that there will be no further need

01:13:05for my services

01:13:06after your dinner engagement tonight.

01:13:09Dinner engagement?

01:13:117.30 at the Harmony Gardens restaurant.

01:13:12It's all arranged.

01:13:13Private room table for two.

01:13:14She'll be waiting.

01:13:15Who?

01:13:16Who will be waiting?

01:13:18Who will be waiting?

01:13:19The very rich, very beautiful lady

01:13:21I referred to

01:13:22when I saw you in Yonkers this morning.

01:13:24The heiress to a fortune, remember?

01:13:31I'm not interested.

01:13:33What's her name?

01:13:34Uh, Ernestina.

01:13:36I'm not interested.

01:13:38What's her last name?

01:13:40Simple.

01:13:41Uh, simple.

01:13:42Ernestina Simple.

01:13:44Can she cook?

01:13:46Can she cook?

01:13:47Frankly, I could never understand

01:13:48why a girl like that

01:13:49who could afford to have

01:13:50every server in New York City

01:13:51if she wanted to

01:13:52makes all her own meals

01:13:53on a solid gold stove.

01:13:55Sounds like a fool

01:13:56and I'm not interested in fools.

01:13:57Neither am I.

01:13:58Good day, Mr. Vandergelder.

01:13:59And don't forget

01:14:00730 Harmonia Gardens

01:14:01and be sure to rent

01:14:02some evening clothes.

01:14:03She's very fussy.

01:14:04Dolly Levi,

01:14:05you are a damned

01:14:06exasperating woman.

01:14:08Why, Horace Vandergelder,

01:14:10that is the nicest thing

01:14:11you have ever said to me.

01:14:30I'm going to raise the roof.

01:14:32I'm going to carry on.

01:14:34Give me an old trombone.

01:14:36Give me an old trombone.

01:14:38Give me an old trombone.

01:14:40Give me an old trombone.

01:14:42Give me an old trombone.

01:14:44Give me an old trombone.

01:14:46Give me an old trombone.

01:14:48Give me an old trombone.

01:14:50Give me an old trombone.

01:14:52Give me an old trombone.

01:14:54Give me an old trombone.

01:14:56Give me an old trombone.

01:14:57Give me an old trombone.

01:14:59Give me an old trombone.

01:15:01For the parade

01:15:05of the circus.

01:15:27You

01:15:57You

01:16:27You

01:16:57You

01:17:27You

01:17:57Cornelius are you sure all they're doing is changing their clothes. Don't worry. They'll be here

01:18:02I mean I get dressed every morning in less than three minutes

01:18:07Women wear more they do

01:18:11Underneath

01:18:13Cornelius maybe we'd better leave while there's still time

01:18:16Never we've seen everything the parade the Statue of Liberty the stuffed whale of Arnhem's Museum

01:18:22I could die a happy man right now

01:18:23I'll be worth it. No matter what happens the worst anybody can do is put us in jail

01:18:28But as long as we live we'll never forget

01:18:32The night we took Irene Malloy and Minnie Faye to dinner at Harmonia Gardens

01:18:38on less than a dollar

01:18:40Cornelius wake up and there's another reason we can't go back to Yonkers one more thing one more thing

01:18:46We promised to do before we go back and turn into a couple of banding elders Cornelius

01:18:52You're not thinking of kissing miss Malloy

01:18:55Maybe mm-hmm. She'll scream

01:18:58Barnaby you don't know anything about women

01:19:01Only that we can't afford them

01:19:03You might as well know that everybody except us goes through life kissing right and left all the time

01:19:10They do yes, I often wondered about that

01:19:21Oh

01:19:25Smile Barnaby, I'm smiling look rich and gay and charming. I'm looking gay and charming

01:19:35Hello

01:19:40Here we are hello

01:19:42Oh

01:19:48I'm pleased to meet you. Miss Malloy. No last names after all. We've been through together this afternoon. It's Irene and Minnie

01:19:57Irene

01:20:03Does that count Cornelius I don't think so count

01:20:08You see we were counting here while we were waiting

01:20:12People do nothing but count their money

01:20:15I'm so hungry. Why don't we go in here and have some hors d'oeuvres first?

01:20:20No, no, no, no, it's very fashionable. It would spoil our appetites or we could have an aperitif

01:20:25That's out of the question because Barnaby and I don't agree with that sort of thing

01:20:29but all those people do well, they simply don't know that a

01:20:35Peritif is no longer considered elegant or isn't

01:20:41Hasn't been for years in that case. It's on to Harmonia Gardens for dinner. Call a hack Cornelius hack

01:20:46Oh my life. I've wanted to ride in a hack. Oh, there's one. No. No, we can't do that. I

01:20:54Mean it isn't the money or anything. Oh

01:20:57It's just that

01:20:59nowadays

01:21:01Really elegant people never take hacks. Hacks is out. They all go by streetcar then by all means we go by streetcar

01:21:09Imagine I've been elegant all my life and I never knew it. Of course if you really want to be really elegant

01:21:15Oh, we do we do

01:21:19You'll walk

01:21:27Yes, New York, it's really us Barnaby and

01:21:32Cornelius

01:21:38What a knack there is to that acting like the born aristocrat we got

01:21:46Elegance if you ain't got elegance, you can never ever carry it off

01:21:54All

01:22:06Who are well-bred agree Minnie Faye has pedigree

01:22:12Exercise your wildest whims tonight. We are out with diamond gems tonight. Could they be

01:22:19misleading us silver spoons were used for feeding us we

01:22:24got

01:22:25Elegance if you ain't got elegance, you can never ever carry it off

01:22:32Snobs that slobs throw roses at we look down our noses at pity all the other girls around when I swing my perfect pearls around

01:22:59snubbing folks

01:23:00Is she to us sometimes we don't even speak to us

01:23:06If you ain't got elegance you can never ever carry it off if you please

01:23:30You

01:23:37Middle-class don't speak of it

01:23:41We make of it some were born with rags and patches, but we use dollar bills

01:23:48Vanderbilt how to house to us JP Morgan scrapes and bows to us

01:23:56We were born with

01:23:59Elegance I

01:24:01Behave like Walter Raleigh when the streets are full of mud and the blue was tucked

01:24:08Oh Barry isn't blue then my

01:24:12Have you noticed when I hold my cup the saucer never?

01:24:17And the way I keep my pinky up in do bit ugly

01:24:29We got built in

01:24:38We'll carry it

01:24:58I

01:25:28Oh

01:25:39Horace band together

01:25:42Mrs. Horace and the gelder

01:25:48Just leave everything

01:25:54No, it won't be like

01:25:59How can it be like

01:26:17Don't look for shooting stars

01:26:23For love is only love

01:26:29You touch and still you touch the ground

01:26:41Don't listen for those

01:26:53And if it's love

01:26:58Your heart won't hear a sound

01:27:07And when

01:27:15You only hold his hand

01:27:19The violins

01:27:28You're really

01:27:45And

01:27:59The shooting stars without

01:28:08With

01:28:29You

01:28:56Good evening. Good evening

01:28:59Good evening

01:29:01Straighten up walk act

01:29:05Pleasure good evening

01:29:08How nice to see you

01:29:12No expression let the food smile and how are you this evening?

01:29:21Charming charming you you there come up here at once

01:29:28Yes you

01:29:31How dare you keep me standing here this long as soon as mr.

01:29:35Van der gelder arrives, you will be seated miss simple now look here a garçon

01:29:39My name is Rudolf Rudolf Reisen Weber. And why may I ask can I not wait at the table, please?

01:29:49Harmonia Gardens does not consider it proper a lady alone. Perhaps if you let me take your

01:29:56Don't touch me

01:30:00Well, if you will excuse me certainly not

01:30:07Yes, what can I do for you? How are you a dog? How's my old friend? I am Rudolph. Oh

01:30:18We like a little something to eat, you know in what name is the reservation please

01:30:26Reservation, I'm afraid there is nothing available. Come on. Let's go. Do you know who he is?

01:30:31This is Cornelius Hackel the Cornelius Hackel tell him about Jenny Linden the Rockefellers the Rockefellers

01:30:37I see look I know a little place up the block. Yeah, I think I have something

01:30:42Yes, I think I have something follow me if you will

01:30:56I

01:30:59Think room number two

01:31:01It is the last one remaining very private. It is very exclusive. It is very fashionable

01:31:07Don't say another word and very expensive

01:31:11That was the word

01:31:14How beautiful how elegant how much

01:31:19Cornelius I thought you said everyone here knew you. Oh, don't worry. They will after tonight

01:31:26I

01:31:30Don't believe it eight o'clock table for two and the chicken

01:31:34Mrs. Dolly Levi coming here after such a long absence. It is too happy to be true

01:31:40That's a message. You told me to give to you who who are these people?

01:31:46They look truthful

01:31:49If

01:31:51You're gonna spend the whole evening acting like a scared rabbit, maybe I better order some lettuce. How can you be so brave?

01:31:58It's unfair. Just try to keep remembering. Mrs. Levi's advice. I only wanted to marry

01:32:04Not perform in public. Well, there's nobody here who knows us Oh Ambrose. Are you sure sweetheart? Have I ever been wrong?

01:32:18I

01:32:27Sir

01:32:31Vandergilt is the name. Yes, mr. Vandergilt

01:32:35There's a miss Einstein a simple supposed to be waiting right there. Mr. Vandergilt

01:32:40Now

01:32:43I'm afraid you didn't understand what I said you see but perfectly

01:32:47Mr. Vandergilt is here miss simple

01:32:50Yes, so I see

01:32:55Oh, good evening miss simple, I hope so. Mr. Vandergilt. All right, my good man

01:33:04Follow me if you will you may take my arm

01:33:07And unless you are suffering from a head cold kindly remove your hat I

01:33:23Have an important announcement to make

01:33:27After an absence of several years

01:33:29They will return to the Harmonia Gardens restaurant tonight

01:33:32The lady who always had the happiest smile the warmest heart and the largest appetite in the city of New York

01:33:49It is therefore my order as head waiter of the Harmonia Gardens and your supreme commander

01:33:55But tonight of all nights our usual lightning service will be twice as lightning as ever or else

01:34:25I

01:34:56Oh

01:35:03Way to write this down mock turtle soup roast pheasant under glass

01:35:10In a bottle of champagne and what would you like six months off a good behavior

01:35:25I

01:35:56I

01:36:11What do you mean oysters aren't in season anybody can have oysters in season

01:36:17I want them out of season. They don't have any miss simple

01:36:21Then tell them to go out and dig for some

01:36:25I

01:36:55Oh

01:37:25Oh

01:37:55Oh

01:38:25Oh

01:38:55Oh

01:39:13Hello again, here we are don't worry it will

01:39:25I

01:39:55Oh

01:39:57Oh

01:40:22Barnaby Irene Minnie

01:40:27I

01:40:29Feel so good about everything

01:40:31So good about this whole day

01:40:34That I am now going to become an honest man and tell the truth Cornelius

01:40:40I'd forgotten what strange things happen to men when they drink

01:40:45If I tell you the truth

01:40:48Will you let me put my arm around your waist?

01:40:51Good heavens you can do that. Even if you lie to me

01:40:58I

01:41:08Have never touched a woman before you still haven't that's my corset

01:41:16You're a wonderful person Irene, thank you Cornelius and

01:41:21That's why I have to tell you the truth

01:41:23If it'll make you feel better

01:41:26It's all those fancy things that mrs. Levi said about me. Oh, yes. Well

01:41:34They're just not so indeed

01:41:39Irene

01:41:40I'm not rich not rich

01:41:44I'm not any of the things mrs. Levi said I was and neither is Barnaby. We're not sports. We don't know anybody

01:41:51We never come to New York. We never do anything except work for mr.

01:41:55Vanageller all day and clean up the store at night and we wanted somewheres to have one day of adventure

01:42:02That we ran away from Bianca's and told a lot of lies

01:42:06Well, look at us a

01:42:09pair of

01:42:10Penniless pretenders, but Cornelius I've known that all along you have

01:42:15Why else would you two have hidden in my cupboard and under my table and made his walk all over, New York?

01:42:21You're the nicest ladies a man ever went to jail for

01:42:25Jail

01:42:27We don't have the money to pay for this dinner. Of course, you don't many show these two sports

01:42:34What I've got in my purse

01:42:36What a pleasure to know that selling all those silly hats can pay for an evening as delightful as this one. I

01:42:46Can't help myself

01:42:51Wow

01:42:56Oh

01:43:01No, no mini my white handbag not that

01:43:06My white handbag when we changed for the evening

01:43:12Mini only my mad money a nickel for the horse car

01:43:20Would you like your check now, sir

01:43:25I

01:43:31Take this away my good man. Bring us another bottle of champagne

01:43:44What's this what are you doing it's eight o'clock. Mr. Van der Gelder. I really must be going

01:43:50Going you haven't finished your dinner yet. Miss simple. That's expensive food

01:43:54If I ordered food like that every night, I'd be out of business inside the inn waiting for somebody else

01:43:58I suggest you have the waiter put it in a bag and take it home to Yonkers to your horses and pigs

01:44:04I don't have pigs miss simple

01:44:06I have chickens and I did not get them by being extravagant and wasteful. I see no point in this trivial discussion. Mr

01:44:12Van der Gelder nor in my remaining here any longer in as much as it is quite clear to me that you are

01:44:19You forgive the expression

01:44:22entirely unsuitable

01:44:25Suitable nevertheless, I assure you I will never say a word to mrs. Levi about this unfortunate evening and I

01:44:32Suggest you do likewise when she arrives here

01:44:36Did you say arrives here? Yes, she planned to join us at 8. You may tell her I left because I felt sick to my stomach

01:44:44It's quite true, you know

01:44:46Good night

01:44:50Any

01:44:53Man who goes to a big city deserves what happens to him

01:45:07He's all yours honey good. Mr. Cassidy. Yes. Mrs. Levi. It's all right. Now you can let me out

01:45:13Oh

01:45:24Many times I told you not to shout it's her she's outside you mean yes, what's going on here. Are you sure?

01:45:30Oh, I know that voice. I heard her in a beautiful carriage with two horses

01:45:34That's her. She's come who's come a lady. You wouldn't know her mrs. Levi

01:45:39I

01:45:42Is it true yes, it's Dolly tell the band to get ready you saw her

01:45:46Yes, of course, I saw in a long white carriage pulled by four horses

01:46:00She's here

01:46:09You

01:46:39Hello

01:46:46Well, hello

01:46:51It's so nice to be back home

01:47:03You are looking

01:47:09I can tell

01:47:13Danny

01:47:15You're still

01:47:20You're still

01:47:26Going strong

01:47:37For the

01:47:40Way

01:47:53Bridge that gap fellas find me an empty

01:48:09Oh

01:48:40Oh

01:49:00He's my hat fellas, I'm staying where I'm at

01:49:09I

01:49:19Went away from the lights of 14th Street and into my

01:49:27Personal haze

01:49:30But now that I'm back in the lights of 14th Street

01:49:37Tomorrow will be brighter than the

01:49:51Tell it to me sweet

01:49:53Oh

01:50:01Glad to see you Hank. Let's thank my lucky star

01:50:07You're looking

01:50:10great Stanley

01:50:12Lose some weight. I think I think you did Stanley dollies overjoyed and overwhelmed

01:50:19and

01:50:23Do you hear the ice

01:50:34Look at you all you're all so handsome

01:50:38Golly gee fellas find me an empty me fellas

01:50:53I

01:51:23I

01:51:25I

01:51:51Well, hello look who's here

01:51:56This is Lewis

01:51:59It's so nice to have you back

01:52:02Where you belong? I'm so glad to be back. Are you looking swell? Thank you

01:52:08I can't tell does it show

01:52:13You still blow it. You still grow it. You still

01:52:19Going strong. I feel the room

01:52:21And the band

01:52:27One of our

01:52:33So

01:52:35Show some snap battles fine or an empty love

01:52:51Oh

01:53:21I

01:53:38Wow

01:53:41Look at the old girl now fellas

01:53:51I

01:54:21Oh

01:54:46We know each other

01:54:49Much too well

01:54:51Oh, it's you mrs. Levi. Yes

01:54:56Well, do you

01:55:00Do you think you have the figure for that sort of getup

01:55:03That's for others to say mr. Vangelis

01:55:05I borrowed from a friend not being one of those rich ladies who have nothing better to do with their time than dilly-dally with

01:55:11Seamstresses, which reminds me. Where is miss simple miss simple? Yes

01:55:16well, she had to

01:55:18Serve

01:55:19She got called away by a sick friend had to leave. Oh

01:55:23Well, that's Ernestina always thinking of other people. Oh, well, we'll just have to make do without her for the time being

01:55:30Rudolph my dear mrs. Levi. I have saved the very best

01:55:37Together well, I've already stand here. You'll get run over by a waiter. Oh

01:55:40No, good evening

01:55:46You know too many people total strangers, so why do you greet them?

01:55:50Well, it makes me feel good to have so many friends. Oh, I'll say hello for me. I already did

01:55:55Lovely Rudolph. What are we doing down here? Well, there's someone in the dance competition. I especially want you to see the slightest

01:56:01In case you don't already know it. This is mr. Vander Gelder of Yonkers. In fact Yonkers most influential citizens

01:56:08And mr. Vander Gelder insists on buying the finest and you haven't served from

01:56:13Watching my waistline Canada thing no appetite at all. What have you got? That's ready immediately. You ordered the chicken

01:56:18You say a chicken. I don't think I could face a chicken. No, not a chicken not tonight

01:56:20Not after all I've been good pencil check and bring a turkey. Yes

01:56:25everything on the side now

01:56:28Tell me about you and Ernestina. I can't wait to hear I know it was short, but was it sweet?

01:56:32I mean, do you think you and she I mean did it go? Well?

01:56:36This is Levi you have a habit of asking highly personal questions. Mr

01:56:40Vander Gelder if you're thinking of getting married, you might as well learn right now that you have to let women be women now

01:56:46Tell me did you like it?

01:56:48It's you like you always wanting to know everything always putting your nose into other people's affairs

01:56:52Anybody who lived with you would get as nervous as a cat. What?

01:56:56What was that you just said I said anybody who lived with you would get it

01:57:00Mr. Vander Gelder you get that idea right out of your head this minute

01:57:03Why the idea of you even mentioning such a thing, I mean understand once and for all that I have no intention of marrying you

01:57:10Well, I didn't mean that you've been hinting around such things for some time now

01:57:14I have not from now on put those ideas right out of your head stop talking like that

01:57:18That's not what I meant at all. I hope not

01:57:19I should hope not Horace Vander Gelder you go your way and I'll go mine

01:57:22I am NOT some Irene Malloy who said you can tell with a few chocolate covered peanuts

01:57:26Unshelled why the idea of you have been suggesting such a thing you misunderstood me. Well, I certainly hope I did

01:57:31However, let's not discuss it anymore. Here's our food. I don't feel well. Mr. Vander Gelder Rudolph

01:57:36Here is a lovely a lovely wing for you and some dumplings

01:57:42Oh lighter than air

01:57:44That's what I need some air and some giblets very very tender and very good for you

01:57:49No, as I said before Horace you go your way and I'll go mine. Well here have some wine

01:57:54You'll feel better at once. However, since you brought this whole matter up, there is one more thing

01:57:57I ought to say I didn't bring I ought to say before we forget all about it. It's true

01:58:01I'm a woman who likes to manage things, but I wouldn't like to manage anything as disorderly as your household is out of control

01:58:07It's untidy. Oh, no Horace. You can do that for yourself. God helping. It is not out of control. Very well

01:58:12Let's not say another word about it. Oh have some beats. I'm not hungry and I don't like beat

01:58:18No Horace a complaining quarrelsome friendless. So like you is no sort of companion for me

01:58:22You salt your beets and I'll salt mine saying that I won't say another word besides

01:58:27I'm not those things you said I am so but it looks to me as if you were the only person in the world that

01:58:31Knows it. No Horace. I have decided to enjoy life. Hmm

01:58:35That's for you

01:58:35You could always find yourself some house people can prepare three meals for a dollar a day can be done if you like cold baked

01:58:40Beans, no Horace. I can just see you now spending your last days listening at keyhole. So fear somebody's cheating you

01:58:47I don't like beats. I hate beats. Yeah, you see now that's the difference between us

01:58:51I'd be nagging you all day long to get some spirit into you and the pity of it is all you could be a

01:58:56Perfectly charming witty amiable man if you want to I don't want to be charming, but you are look at you

01:59:02You can't help yourself

01:59:05Listening at keyholes you have no right to say such things to me at your age

01:59:09You ought to enjoy hearing the truth my age my age. You're always talking about my age

01:59:13I don't even know what your age is

01:59:14But I do know that up at John goes with bad food and bad trouble you'll double in six months now sit down Horace

01:59:18And let's talk of something else. However, before we change the subject, there's one more thing. I am going to say

01:59:22I don't want to hear it. You're wasting your time. Dolly Levi. I have no intention of asking you to marry me

01:59:28Oh, I suppose that means you want me to ask you what I'm sorry Horace. I'm turning you down

01:59:32How can you tighten me down when I haven't even asked you anything? It's no use arguing. I've made up your mind

01:59:37Oh, yeah, let me cut your wings. I don't want my wings cut. No man does ours. No man does I got a headache?

01:59:43I'm leaving. Oh

01:59:45No, you can't go now the dance competition just about to begin ladies and gentlemen, if I may have your attention, please

01:59:53It is my pleasure to announce on behalf of the management of the harmonia Gardens restaurant that our dance

01:59:59Contest is about to commence the judges for tonight's competition. Ah, mr.

02:00:05Herman Fleishhacker

02:00:10Mr. Llewellyn Cod

02:00:13And our special guest of honor judge mrs. Dolly Levi

02:00:35Ladies and gentlemen who wish to participate in this evening's contest

02:00:38Will you please now come to the dance floor and remember to the lucky winning couple goes the grand prize of 50 silver dollars

02:00:44Or an engagement at the harmonia Gardens

02:00:4850

02:00:49everybody dance

02:00:57Your check sir another bottle of champagne

02:01:08Oh

02:01:30Look at that man Horace. Oh what grace what talent what a magnificent living he could earn with his feet. Hmm Horace look

02:01:39Oh

02:01:43Isn't he wonderful

02:01:45That's Ambrose Kemper so-called artist. Why so it is

02:01:50Wonder his pictures are so awful. He must paint with his feet. He's sure to win first prize

02:01:56I mean, yeah, I should see him now dancing with another girl

02:02:00Such a pretty little thing too

02:02:02Shameful, that's what it is shameful

02:02:09I

02:02:15Look there's that Malloy woman dancing with a man. I think it's a man

02:02:23And only a few hours ago she was waiting for me to propose

02:02:27shocking

02:02:28No faithfulness left this world

02:02:30I agree

02:02:30I certainly do and it's it's very selfish that people like us don't jump right up and marry someone just to set the world a

02:02:36good example

02:03:00Simon good

02:03:06Oh

02:03:36Oh

02:03:38Oh

02:03:40Oh

02:04:04Cornelius heck. What are you doing in New York?

02:04:06I'm just delivering some oats oats with my former attendant. You're discharged. You can't fire me. I quit

02:04:14Bonner each other

02:04:30I'm sorry

02:04:36Oh

02:04:53Horace Vandegaard flat on your back. You are still charming

02:05:00Cornelius Barnaby

02:05:03Perhaps there's a way I can get mr. Vander Gelder to give you back your jobs. What how I

02:05:11Could become his wife

02:05:17No, that's impossible it is yes, but why Cornelius

02:05:23Because that's what you have to give me a reason. Never mind the reason Cornelius. Never mind the reason

02:05:28Don't tell me to shush

02:05:30Don't tell me to shush what's going on there Cornelius quick. Hey you

02:05:36What's all this noise?

02:05:38What's happening here? Now you stay out of this officer. Are you all right, miss?

02:05:42I'll let you know in a little while you young man. I'm only trying to tell this lady something

02:05:47Well, it's too late and you're too loud and I should run you in for disturbing the peace. No, it's not too late

02:05:53That's why I'm shouting for 28 years

02:05:56My whole life I never did anything I just worked took orders never went anywhere stayed in Yonkers

02:06:03Yonkers and today

02:06:05The most important thing that can happen to a man that might never have happened

02:06:09If I'd stayed in Yonkers happened to me because I left Yonkers and came to New York and met this lady

02:06:16Met her this afternoon

02:06:19Mr.

02:06:20Just what are you talking about?

02:06:23Officer I am talking about none other than love

02:06:29Love

02:06:30Young man, are you trying to tell me that after 28 years of Yonkers?

02:06:35You've fallen in love with this young lady in one day. Oh, no officer

02:06:39I didn't fall in love with miss Irene Malloy of this city in just a day. It was much quicker than that an hour

02:06:45No, even that's too long. What's less than a minute a second less than that a moment

02:06:51That's it that is it now all of you listen to me

02:06:58Wow, please

02:07:03It only

02:07:06Takes a moment

02:07:10For your eyes to meet and then

02:07:16Your

02:07:20Heart knows

02:07:23In a moment

02:07:28You will never

02:07:31Be

02:07:36Again

02:07:38I

02:07:41Held her

02:07:44For an instant

02:07:48But my arms felt sure and strong

02:07:58It only

02:08:03Takes a moment

02:08:09To be loved

02:08:14Oh

02:08:25Isn't the world for wonderful things I

02:08:29Have lost so many things my job my future everything that people think is important, but I don't care

02:08:36Because even if I have to dig ditches for the rest of my life

02:08:39I should be a ditch digger who once had a wonderful day

02:08:45Mr. Do you mind I came in late right after it only

02:09:09It's a moment

02:09:16He held me for an instant

02:09:25But his arms felt safe and strong

02:09:36It only

02:09:40Takes a moment

02:09:45To be loved

02:09:57And that is all

02:10:02That loves about

02:10:06And we'll recall

02:10:13When time

02:10:25Only

02:10:35To be

02:10:55And tell Rudolph not to worry about the damage just send the bill to Vander Gelder's Hay and feed store Yonkers, New York

02:11:02Well

02:11:04There's your life for you Horace, I don't want to hear about it without niece without bride without clerks look I'm tired

02:11:11I've got a package

02:11:12That's about all you do have. I hope you're satisfied. Never mind

02:11:16Well, I guess there's only one thing more for me to say then and I've been meaning to stay at all night

02:11:20If it's to ask me to marry you Dolly Levi never not in a million years

02:11:25It wasn't that at all Horace

02:11:27All I wanted to say was

02:11:30Goodbye, what goodbye? What are you talking about?

02:11:41Goodbye

02:11:44Nonsense, don't try to stop me Horace, please

02:11:48Wave your little hand and whisper so long dearie. You ain't gonna see me anymore

02:11:54And when you discover that your life is dreary, don't you come a-knocking at my door

02:12:00Cuz I'll be all dolled up and singing that song that says you dog. I told you so

02:12:07So wave your little hand and whisper so long dearie dearie should have said so long so long ago

02:12:15Because you treated me so

02:12:18I have had enough of

02:12:20Feeling low so wave your little hand and whisper so long dearie dearie should have said so long so long ago

02:12:29Or I can hear that you chew calling me on to a fancy new address

02:12:36Yes, I can hear that choo-choo calling me on on both that happiness

02:12:42I'm gonna learn to dance and drink and smoke a cigarette

02:12:46I'm gone as far away from young cause as a girl can get

02:12:55So

02:13:01And on those cold winter nights Horace

02:13:09You can snuggle up to your cash register

02:13:16It's a little lumpy, but it rings

02:13:21Don't come a-knocking I'll be all dolled up and singing that song that says you dog. I told you so

02:13:29So Horace you'll find your life a sad old story

02:13:32You'll be living in that lonesome territory

02:13:35When you see your dolly shuffle off to glory. Oh, I should have said so long

02:13:41How could I have been wrong

02:13:43Oh, I should

02:14:13Oh

02:14:20Little monsters

02:14:33There's chicken mash doing all over

02:14:44Oh

02:14:55Good rinse

02:15:02I'm ready for my breakfast. I want three eggs with crisp bacon and hot porridge with cream and grits

02:15:14It's not fair

02:15:19It's worse than that, it's lonely

02:15:28Not in a million years

02:15:32darling Levi

02:15:34You go your way and I'll go mine

02:15:44Good morning, uncle Horace. Good morning. Mr. Van der Gelder warning. Oh

02:15:50Come crawling back. Have you well, I have a good mind not to take you

02:15:53But being as I'm so soft-hearted go get your aprons and start cleaning up this mess

02:15:58We're not coming back to work for you. Mr. Van der Gelder. What? Yeah

02:16:03Barnaby and I just stopping by for our money. You see so we decided to go into business business and

02:16:08Since the only business we know is hand feed. We're opening our own store. Mrs

02:16:12Levi's found the perfect location for us right across the street from you. She wouldn't dare

02:16:18heckle and Tucker Incorporated

02:16:21Huh, it'll last for a week

02:16:24What about my breakfast uncle Horace?

02:16:29I think you better start learning how to make it yourself

02:16:32All right, all right, my conscience is clear a man can do only so much to keep fools from their own natural folly

02:16:38Why Horace Van der Gelder as I live and breathe how well you look today?

02:16:44I just came by to return your cane. So don't let me interrupt you were all doing something

02:16:49What were you doing? We were getting Cornelius and Barnaby's money

02:16:53One hundred and forty six dollars and thirty five cents plus six dollars and twelve cents a pound

02:16:57Cornelius and Barnaby's money one hundred and forty six dollars and thirty five cents plus six dollars and twelve cents of mine and the money

02:17:03My mama left me. That's right

02:17:06$52 and 48 cents 38 idiot

02:17:1048 uncle

02:17:13I'm positive

02:17:17All right, all right, all right a boy you can think about at a time like this is money the safe is upstairs

02:17:27I have the combination you stay here if you insist

02:17:32Horace

02:17:50If I'm Levi

02:17:53I'm gonna get married again

02:17:56I'm gonna marry Horace Van der Gelder

02:18:00And I'm asking your permission

02:18:03It won't be a marriage in the sense that we had one

02:18:06But I shall certainly make him happy. You can be sure of that

02:18:11I am going to marry Horace Van der Gelder

02:18:15And send his money out into the world doing all the things you taught me

02:18:21As you always used to say I from money

02:18:24Money

02:18:26Pardon the expression is like manure. It's not worth a thing unless it's spread around

02:18:33Encouraging young things to grow

02:18:36anyhow

02:18:37That's the opinion of the future. This is Horace Van der Gelder

02:18:42and never

02:18:44I'm still waiting for that sign

02:18:47That you approve

02:18:54Outside front and back

02:19:03Bossy

02:19:05Scheming meddling

02:19:07Irritating inquisitive

02:19:09Exasperating

02:19:12Horace

02:19:14I know you're no longer interested

02:19:17but

02:19:19I have found you the ideal wife

02:19:21Dolly Levi I don't want you to find me any ideal wife

02:19:24If I want an ideal wife I'll find one of my own and I have found her and it's you damn it

02:19:31I know I've been a fool and I probably always will be but Dolly forgive me and

02:19:36Marry me

02:19:42Oh no Horace I

02:19:44I don't dare I don't dare

02:19:46What do you mean?

02:19:48Well, um, you know as well as I do that you're the first citizen of Yonkers and

02:19:54Your wife would have to be a

02:19:56Somebody you are you are a wonderful woman. Yes, but uh

02:20:01Do you really think I have it in me to forego fancy clothes and expensive jewels

02:20:06And instead be a benefactress to half the town

02:20:12In other words to be a credit to you

02:20:16Dolly everybody knows that you could do anything you wanted to do

02:20:22By the way Horace, here's the money I borrowed from you yesterday

02:20:26Keep it keep it

02:20:32Horace

02:20:35I never thought I'd ever hear you say anything like that

02:20:40You know, it's bad business letting Cornelius open up a store right across the street from you

02:20:44Who's your idea? Better take him back and let him be your partner partner and father

02:20:48We can have Cornelius his old job. Now. Wait a minute. We can all be together so we can dance whatever God's wedding

02:20:52That doesn't go too far. I'll dance at no wedding

02:20:55I don't know how to dance would take me weeks months years to learn. All right, I'll dance you will love it

02:21:00Excuse me. Mr. Vandegelder. I said outside now get moving Horace Vandegelder. Now what is going on around here?

02:21:06Oh nothing. I just thought I'd have the shutters done over and forest green

02:21:11Forest green shutters. I know the old paint still good, but that's fellas just set up business needs a good start

02:21:18You see Dolly. I've always felt that money pardon. The expression is like manure

02:21:23It's not worth a thing unless it's spread around

02:21:26Encouraging young things to grow

02:21:30Thank you

02:21:33Hello

02:21:35Dolly well, hello

02:21:39Dolly it's so nice to have you here where you belong

02:21:50I never knew

02:21:54Darling without you

02:21:58Darling life was awfully flat and more than that

02:22:04Was

02:22:07Awfully wrong

02:22:09Oh

02:22:28Here's my hat

02:22:31Horace I'm staying where I'm at

02:22:35Horace

02:22:38Oh

02:22:42Wonderful woman

02:23:07Oh

02:23:34But my

02:23:36Terms felt sure and strong

02:23:56Yes, it takes a woman a dainty woman a sweetheart a mistress a wife

02:24:06A fragile woman to bring you between things in life

02:24:36Oh

02:25:07Wow

02:25:10Fellas look at the old girl now fellas

02:25:36You

02:26:06Oh

02:26:36You

02:27:06You

02:27:36You

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