The Lucy Show-S6E2: Lucy Gets Trapped
30min | Comedy | TV Series (1962–1968)
Lucy convinces Mr. Mooney that she's too ill to come to work so she can go to a department store sale. After examining some of the items for sale in the store (and causing a lot of damage), she learns she is the ten-millionth customer and wins many valuable prizes. One prize she wins isn't one to her liking - her photograph will appear prominently in the next day's morning newspaper. Lucy goes to great lengths to make sure that her boss doesn't see the incriminating photograph and fails miserably.
Creators: Bob Carroll Jr., Madelyn Davis, Bob Schiller
Stars: Lucille Ball, Gale Gordon, Vivian Vance
30min | Comedy | TV Series (1962–1968)
Lucy convinces Mr. Mooney that she's too ill to come to work so she can go to a department store sale. After examining some of the items for sale in the store (and causing a lot of damage), she learns she is the ten-millionth customer and wins many valuable prizes. One prize she wins isn't one to her liking - her photograph will appear prominently in the next day's morning newspaper. Lucy goes to great lengths to make sure that her boss doesn't see the incriminating photograph and fails miserably.
Creators: Bob Carroll Jr., Madelyn Davis, Bob Schiller
Stars: Lucille Ball, Gale Gordon, Vivian Vance
Category
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FunTranscript
00:00The Lee Show, starring Lucille Ball, co-starring Gale Gordon.
00:30The Lee Show, starring Gale Gordon, co-starring Gale Gordon, co-starring Gale Gordon, co-starring Gale Gordon, co-starring Gale Gordon, co-starring Gale Gordon, co-starring Gale Gordon, co-starring Gale Gordon, co-starring Gale Gordon, co-starring Gale Gordon, co-starring Gale Gordon, co-starring Gale Gordon, co-starring Gale Gordon, co-starring Gale Gordon, co-starring Gale Gordon, co-starring Gale Gordon, co-starring Gale Gordon, co-starring Gale Gordon, co-starring Gale Gordon, co-starring Gale Gordon, co-starring Gale Gordon, co-starring Gale Gordon, co-starring Gale Gordon, co-starring Gale Gordon, co-starring Gale Gordon, co-starring Gale Gordon, co-starring Gale Gordon, co-starring G
01:00You can relax, Lucy. It's only me.
01:07Oh, Mary Jane. I thought it was Mr. Mooney. I wanted him to think I was working.
01:12Yeah, well, you'll never fool him that way.
01:14Why not?
01:15You haven't got any paper in the typewriter.
01:17Hey, did you see this afternoon's paper?
01:20No, why?
01:21Stacy's department store is having a big sale.
01:24Really? Oh, wow. They're really having a sale.
01:28Everything's more than half off.
01:30Yeah, half off. That bikini on that model looks...
01:35Oh, that is a beauty. I'd love to have that bikini.
01:38Oh, Lucy, would you wear a bikini like that on a public beach?
01:42No, but I'd hang it on my clothesline. That ought to get me some action.
01:48Gee, everything's on sale. Appliances, clothes, furniture.
01:52Uh-oh.
01:53What?
01:54The sale is for one day only. Tomorrow.
01:56So?
01:57So I have to work tomorrow.
01:59Well, so do I, but I'm going to tell my boss I've got a toothache.
02:03Why don't you tell Mr. Mooney you have to go to the dentist?
02:06No. I tried that a few times, and Mr. Mooney always insists on going to the dentist with me.
02:13Yeah. Yeah, so far I've had three perfectly good teeth pulled.
02:20If I do it anymore, I won't have a tooth in my head.
02:23Well, why don't you tell him you've got the month?
02:26Oh, no. I've told him I'm sick too often. He just never believed me.
02:31He'd believe you if he saw you getting sick.
02:34What do you mean?
02:35While you're working this afternoon, act sick. You know, moan, groan, cry a little.
02:42Well, that won't work. I do that every week when he gives me my salary.
02:46But, Lucy, if he sees you getting sick right here in this office, he'll insist that you go home.
02:52Well, now, Mr. Mooney, he's not easy to fool.
02:55He's a man, isn't he?
02:57Yeah.
02:58Well, then he's easy to fool.
02:59If you play it smart. You see, you don't say you're sick. You just act sick.
03:04And then when he suggests you go home, you refuse.
03:08Refuse?
03:09And then when you refuse to go home, he'll insist you go home.
03:13He'll insist?
03:14Believe me, when Mr. Mooney sees you suffering, he's got to sympathize with you.
03:18After all, he's human.
03:21Let's not make any snap judgments.
03:25Well, it's worth a try.
03:26All right. I'll give it a try. I really would love to go shopping.
03:30You know, I need a new refrigerator.
03:32Let's imagine one you got.
03:34Well, you know, it has a capacity of 14 cubic feet, right?
03:38Yeah.
03:39Yeah, well, I got one foot of food and 13 feet of frost.
03:44Everything frosts up.
03:46Everything?
03:47Yeah. Tonight for dinner, I'm having a spaghetti popsicle.
03:50Oh.
03:51Would you like to join me?
03:52See you later.
03:53Okay.
03:54Right now.
03:55If I can fool Mr. Mooney.
03:56Don't worry. It'll work. Do what I said.
03:59All right.
04:05Mr. Wilson and Russ.
04:07Yes, sir. Wilson and Russ.
04:09Gentlemen, regarding your inquiry of the 15th, I think the loan can be...
04:14Ah!
04:17Did you say something, Mrs. Carmichael?
04:20No, sir.
04:21Oh.
04:22I think the loan can be arranged on the following terms.
04:26Ah!
04:32Mrs. Carmichael, are you all right?
04:34Oh, yes, sir. Yes, sir.
04:36Yes, sir.
04:37All right. How about that?
04:38Oh, following term.
04:39The principal will be paid over a period of 20 years.
04:42Ah!
04:50Are you sure you're all right?
04:52Oh, yes, yes. I feel fine.
04:56Perhaps you'd like to rest for a while.
04:58Oh, no. No, sir. There's work to be done.
05:00Oh. All right, then. Let's get on with it.
05:04Oh, yes. Payments will be made semi-annually on the 1st of January and on the 1st of July next year.
05:13Yes.
05:17Mrs. Carmichael, are you in pain?
05:20No!
05:22Is it constant pain?
05:24No. Only when I breathe.
05:28Well, maybe you'd like to go home.
05:31Oh, no. No, I'd rather stay.
05:33Let's just keep on working.
05:35I feel much better when I'm working. It takes my mind off the pain.
05:38Oh. Now, are you quite sure you want to continue working?
05:41Oh, yes, sir. I'll be all right.
05:43Oh. All right. Well, that's that.
05:4515th January. Oh, yes.
05:47Should a payment be missed, there will be a forfeiture penalty.
05:50Ah!
05:55What's the matter with it? What's the matter with it?
05:57It's having a spasm.
05:58Mrs. Carmichael, you are ill.
06:02Oh.
06:03Let me feel your forehead.
06:05No fever? No?
06:07Let me see your tongue.
06:11Looks all right.
06:13Let me look at those eyes. Oh.
06:15I hope whatever it is isn't contagious.
06:21Well, let's continue with the dictation.
06:23I'll write with my left hand.
06:25Mrs. Carmichael, please.
06:27Go home.
06:28No, I want to stay. I want to stay.
06:30I want to work. I want to work.
06:33I want to work.
06:34Mrs. Carmichael, I think you ought to go home.
06:36No, I want to stay. I want to stay.
06:38Mrs. Carmichael, I insist that you go home.
06:41Oh, well, if you insist.
06:45Thank you very much, Mr. Morton.
06:47Don't mention it. Don't mention it.
06:49And if you don't feel well tomorrow, don't come back to work.
06:53No, I won't. I won't.
06:57I won't.
07:04Gotta, gotta, gotta.
07:07Now, remember, this is our biggest sale,
07:10and this is the zero hour.
07:12I hope you're all prepared for what's coming.
07:15Remember, those are customers out there,
07:18and they outnumber us by more than 50 to 1.
07:22And I can assure you, they will show us no mercy.
07:27Good luck, everybody. To your posts. To your posts.
07:32There he is. There he is.
07:39Lucy! Lucy!
07:42Lucy!
07:45Oh, I haven't been mauled and crushed like that
07:48since my first blind date in high school.
07:51Good heavens. Come on over here.
07:54Look, the Jiffy Automatic Stove.
07:56Set the timer and it turns itself on and off.
07:59How do you like that?
08:00You don't even have to be home to burn your dinner.
08:04Boy, cooking is so easy now.
08:06They've got instant cream, instant coffee,
08:08instant milk, instant this, instant that.
08:11Yeah, everything but instant money to pay for it.
08:16Oh, hey, I see the juicers I want over here.
08:18What?
08:19Your juicer.
08:25What's so funny?
08:27Come here, look. Look at the name and the slogan.
08:31Little Squeeze Orange Juicer.
08:33Men, make your wife happy.
08:35Give her a little squeeze in the kitchen.
08:39You get your little squeeze. I'm gonna look around.
08:41Okay.
08:43Oh, miss. Miss. Miss!
08:45Miss!
08:54Miss!
09:19Ahem. Why did you break that dish?
09:22Well, I'm sorry, but it said try our unbreakable dishes,
09:25so I just picked them up and I just tapped...
09:31You did it again.
09:33Well, for heaven's sake,
09:34why does it say unbreakable when they're breakable?
09:37Those are unbreakable.
09:40These are imported Chinese.
09:44Unbreakable.
09:45You should know.
09:49Is there the unbreakable?
09:50Guaranteed.
09:53Bam! Bam!
10:06Ma'am, there are 59 different departments in this store.
10:09Why did you have to come to this one?
10:12Never mind.
10:13Now, just what kind of dishes do you want?
10:16Well, I don't want any dishes.
10:19You don't want dishes?
10:21No, I came in here to buy a refrigerator.
10:24The refrigerators are over there.
10:26Oh, well, thank you.
10:33Don't touch that!
10:35Why not?
10:38Because you are liable to break it.
10:40If you're interested in this model,
10:42I will demonstrate it for you.
10:45Now, this is the freezer unit with the automatic ice maker.
10:50Yes.
10:53The vegetable crisper, latest design,
10:56so is the meat freshener.
10:58Shelves slide in and out easily.
11:02It has a five-year guarantee
11:04and it comes at the amazingly low sale price of only $299.99.
11:10$299.99?
11:13Yes.
11:14Is madam interested in making a purchase?
11:16Well, madam is, but madam's budget isn't.
11:20I'll have to think it over.
11:21May I have your card in case I decide on anything?
11:24Very well.
11:31Hi!
11:32Oh, did you get your squeezer?
11:33Yeah.
11:34Did you find a refrigerator you like?
11:36Yeah, I found one I like, but it's $299.99.
11:40Oh, that's a lot of money, but isn't that beautiful?
11:44Yeah, and it's got all the newest gadgets.
11:47Yeah.
11:48Look.
11:51I knew it! I knew it! I knew it!
12:00Oh, I'm terribly sorry, Mr...
12:03Give me back my card!
12:07I don't want you to even know my name!
12:12I've got to know your name in case I decide to buy a refrigerator.
12:15I won't know whom to ask for it.
12:17Good, good, good.
12:19Please, madam, just don't buy a refrigerator.
12:21Well, I...
12:22Eat warm food.
12:25Go to another department.
12:26I don't...
12:27Please, go, go, go!
12:30He's so emotional.
12:33No wonder they're having a sale. Everything's broken.
12:48Oh, my God!
13:19You're the one!
13:20I didn't do anything!
13:21I was with her! She didn't do anything!
13:23Yes, you did.
13:24What did I do?
13:25You just became our customer of the year.
13:27I did?
13:28You're a...
13:33You're a very lucky lady.
13:35Really?
13:36You're the 10 millionth customer to enter this department.
13:39And you've just received a great many valuable gifts.
13:42What did I get? What did I get? What did I get?
13:44Well, you got a set of golf clubs.
13:46Golf clubs?
13:47A set of luggage, a washing machine, a dryer, a dishwasher, a color television set.
13:53Oh, really?
13:54A color television set.
13:56And a beautiful refrigerator completely stocked with food.
14:00A refrigerator? That's what I came in here to buy.
14:02That's what you came in to buy? A refrigerator?
14:05You're a very lucky lady.
14:07Oh, I certainly am. Nothing like this ever happened to me.
14:10Oh, and you're lucky too, Mary Jane.
14:12I am?
14:13I'm gonna give the color TV set to you.
14:15You're gonna give it to me?
14:17Yes, but we'll keep it in my apartment.
14:21Yes, and you can come down and watch it anytime you want.
14:24And you can eat from my completely stocked refrigerator.
14:27Would you please give me your name and address?
14:29Yes, Lucille Carmichael.
14:31Oh, where do I live? Where do I live?
14:32Gower Street, a Glen Hall apartment.
14:34Yes, 780 North Gower Street, Hollywood.
14:37And you're a housewife.
14:39I am? Oh, yes. Yes, I am. Yes.
14:43I do take care of my apartment, but I work during the day at the Westland Bank.
14:48A very fine bank.
14:49Oh, the best bank in town, you may quote me.
14:52Mrs. Carmichael, our photographer is here.
14:55Your photographer?
14:56Would you mind having your picture taken while I congratulate you?
14:59Oh, I didn't expect to have my picture taken today.
15:02Oh, Lucille.
15:03Oh, my hair must be a mess.
15:06Good heavens, that bulb is so bright.
15:08All I can see is a big blue blob.
15:12Thank you and congratulations again.
15:14Well, thank you.
15:18Your prizes will be delivered in a few days.
15:20Oh, oh, really? Oh, thank you very much.
15:22And remember to buy tomorrow's newspaper.
15:24Your picture will be in it and a story all about you.
15:27Oh, really? Oh, I want to tell you.
15:29It's the most exciting thing that's ever happened to me. Thank you.
15:32You're very welcome.
15:33Oh, Lucille, your picture's going to be in the paper.
15:37Gee, I'll be famous.
15:38Everybody will see my picture.
15:40Mr. Mooney will be so proud.
15:42And when I...
15:46Mr. Mooney.
15:47If Mr. Mooney sees my picture in the paper, he'll know I wasn't sick.
15:50Or maybe he'll get lucky and he won't read the paper.
15:52No chance. He reads it every morning the minute he gets in the office.
15:55Well, you've got to stop him from reading that paper.
15:57I know what I'll do.
15:58I'll hide his glasses.
15:59Good idea.
16:00No, it isn't. He doesn't wear glasses.
16:03I know.
16:04I'll get to the office before he does and get rid of the paper.
16:07Would you want me to call you and wake you up?
16:09Don't worry about it. I'll be awake all night.
16:11If he sees that paper, he'll kill me.
16:13Lucy, the most he can do is fire you.
16:16I know, Mr. Mooney. He'll kill me and then fire me.
16:37George.
16:57Forgive me, George. It isn't exactly a lie.
17:03George!
17:07George!
17:38George!
17:45Mr. Mooney's office.
17:47Oh.
17:48Hi, Mary Jane.
17:50Yes, I just hit it.
17:51No, he's not here yet.
17:54Well, thanks.
17:55Yeah, I just saw it.
17:56Yeah, yeah, I thought it was a nice picture.
17:58What wrinkle?
17:59No.
18:00That wasn't a wrinkle. Your paper was creased.
18:03I'd better hang up. I hear him coming.
18:11Well.
18:12Oh, good morning, Mr. Mooney.
18:14Good morning, Mrs. Carmichael.
18:16You know, you didn't have to come to work if you're ill.
18:19Oh, I'm not sick anymore.
18:22Well, there must be something the matter with you. You're early.
18:27No, I'm fine.
18:28I just figured as long as I was off yesterday, I should come in early today.
18:32Catch up on all my work.
18:34Well, that's very commendable. Very commendable.
18:37What was the matter with you?
18:40I don't know, but I'm all right now.
18:51Mrs. Carmichael?
18:52Yes, Mr. Mooney?
18:53Where's my newspaper?
18:57Where's your newspaper?
18:59It isn't here.
19:00It isn't here?
19:01It isn't here?
19:03Where is it?
19:04Where is it?
19:07Was your mother frightened by a parrot?
19:13Now stop repeating everything I say and help me find my newspaper.
19:17Well.
19:18Please.
19:19Why don't you forget about your newspaper? Let's just get to work.
19:22No, I just don't feel right unless I read my morning newspaper.
19:26I want to know what's going on in the world.
19:29Well, I'll tell you.
19:30The temperature's up, the stock market is down, and little Orphan Annie's lost again.
19:36Mrs. Carmichael, will you stop being facetious and go out and buy me a newspaper?
19:40Oh, yes, sir.
19:49There are a lot of newspapers.
19:53Yeah, Mr. Mooney, you know you read too much anyway.
19:55What?
19:56Yeah, you're always reading.
19:57You know, the bank reports, the stock market charts, and the fine print, and the mortgage papers.
20:02You're just straining your eyes.
20:04They're all bloodshot.
20:06My eyes are not bloodshot.
20:08How can you tell?
20:09You're seeing them from the inside.
20:13Mrs. Carmichael, I am not...
20:14You're doing this for your own good, Mr. Mooney.
20:16Really, you do.
20:17You work too hard.
20:18Rest your eyes for a change.
20:20It'll do you good.
20:21Well, maybe you're right.
20:23You know, I have been getting headaches lately.
20:25I know, I know.
20:27You've been getting headaches ever since I came to work for you.
20:33Oh, true.
20:36Oh, I didn't mean it that way.
20:38I don't think that they...
20:39Mrs. Carmichael, I appreciate your concern.
20:41All right, I'll skip the newspaper this morning.
20:44Good.
20:45Now, can we get to work?
20:47Yes, sir.
20:49Lucy?
20:50Oh, hello, Laurie.
20:51This picture of you is just wonderful.
20:54Goodbye, Laurie.
20:55The prizes you won.
20:57Yeah, goodbye, Laurie.
20:58Just a moment.
21:01What picture of you?
21:03Oh, it's nothing.
21:04Laurie was just going.
21:05Weren't you, Laurie?
21:06She's going, but the paper stays.
21:11Westland Bank employee wins fabulous prizes.
21:16Yeah, that's not my picture.
21:18Really, Mr. Mooney.
21:19See, I got red hair.
21:20Her hair is black.
21:22So, you were sick yesterday.
21:26Answer me!
21:27Were you sick?
21:29No, but I am now.
21:32And you played me for a sucker.
21:35No, I didn't.
21:36And that act you put on pretending to be sick.
21:41Oh, my hand!
21:42I got it on the bed.
21:44You told me I wouldn't stay.
21:46But I wasn't worried.
21:47I wasn't worried.
21:48And like a fool, I let you get away with it.
21:51I'm sorry, Mr. Mooney.
21:52Sorry isn't enough.
21:54To begin with, you will not be paid for yesterday.
21:56And the only reason I don't fire you is because I'm such a sweet guy.
22:10You're a sweet guy.
22:11Yes, yes.
22:12Now, you get to work.
22:13And I don't want to hear another word about your sneaky endeavors.
22:17Yes, sir.
22:18Mooney!
22:20Well, congratulations, old boy.
22:22You did it again.
22:24Oh, thank you, Mr. Cheever, sir.
22:27What did I do?
22:28Oh, playing it sly, huh?
22:31A little modest, huh?
22:34Westland Bank employee wins fabulous prizes.
22:37Oh, I tell you, this story about your secretary in the newspapers is the most wonderful publicity.
22:42And we appreciate it.
22:44That's good public relations.
22:47And it only happened because you were thoughtful enough to allow Mrs. Carmichael to take off, to go shopping.
23:02That's because he's such a sweet guy.
23:06He certainly is.
23:09Oh, sure.
23:13But he is not the only one that can be sweet.
23:15Now, in order to show our appreciation, the bank is going to give you one full week's salary as a bonus.
23:21A full week's salary?
23:23That's right.
23:25And I'm sure you will want to show your appreciation by giving Mrs. Carmichael a week's salary out of that bonus.
23:35Of course, sir.
23:38Mooney!
23:39I am proud of you.
23:42Keep up the good work.
23:52Gee, a whole week's salary for me. Thank you, Mr. Mooney.
23:57A half week's salary.
23:59Mr. Cheever just said that you should give me a whole week's salary.
24:02I don't care what he said. And one more word out of you and you won't get a red cent.
24:08And you're supposed to be such a sweet guy.
24:10I am a sweet guy! And don't you forget it!
24:40THE END