Not Rated | 17 mins | Shorts, Drama | Video 24 May 2005
Over the internet Todd arranges to meet a blind date named Kelly at a locale coffee house. When Kelly turns out to be another guy things do not turn out as either expected.
A collection of shorts that explores the relationships between gay men and straight men. The collection includes Espacio Dos (Spain) In the Name of the Father (Brazil), My Straight Boyfriend (US), Truth or Consequences (Brazil), Coffee Date (US), Popcorn & Coke (UK), and Uninhibited.
Over the internet Todd arranges to meet a blind date named Kelly at a locale coffee house. When Kelly turns out to be another guy things do not turn out as either expected.
A collection of shorts that explores the relationships between gay men and straight men. The collection includes Espacio Dos (Spain) In the Name of the Father (Brazil), My Straight Boyfriend (US), Truth or Consequences (Brazil), Coffee Date (US), Popcorn & Coke (UK), and Uninhibited.
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Short filmTranscript
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01:20Morning, bro.
01:25It's three in the afternoon.
01:30Weren't you gonna look for an apartment today?
01:33Yes, I will.
01:36You know, you were in such a pain in the ass when we were kids.
01:40What are you so dressed up for anyway?
01:43I have a date.
01:44Oh, yeah?
01:45Mm-hmm.
01:46With, uh, what's-her-name from the Internet?
01:49The girl I hooked you up with?
01:51Yep.
01:52And if she's as wonderful as she seems,
01:54I might even forgive you for posting that ad.
01:56So you haven't exchanged pictures yet, huh?
01:58It's just a coffee date.
02:01Anyway, she says she's above average in appearance.
02:05Oh, I guess I didn't warn you about Internet inflation, did I?
02:08Inflation?
02:09Yeah.
02:10Everybody does it, Ty. Come on.
02:12Average means homely, VGL, very good looking.
02:15That means average.
02:17What about people who really are VGL?
02:19Ty, come on, good luck finding them on the Internet.
02:23Catch you later.
02:24Oh, okay.
02:26See ya.
02:27Ta-ta.
02:59Hi.
03:19I was wondering are you...
03:20Hey, watch it.
03:21Sorry, I-I just thought you were this guy.
03:23No.
03:26You're not my type anyway.
03:31Excuse me, that's my table.
03:33You don't have a drink or anything?
03:34This is ridiculous.
03:36You can't just steal a person's table.
03:38Oh, Christ, you're not gonna make a scene, are you?
03:41You people are so damn dramatic.
03:42You people?
03:44Do you mean gays or Jews or specifically gay Jews?
03:48That didn't come out how I meant.
03:52Look, I apologize.
03:58Listen.
04:00How about the table goes to the one whose date shows up first?
04:05I guess that's fair.
04:23Does that bother you?
04:26No.
04:27No, of course not.
04:30You want to switch seats?
04:32That'd be great, thanks.
04:42Hey, Han.
04:44Nice catch.
04:45I'm not a catch.
04:48Hey, Han.
04:49Nice catch.
04:50I'm not a catch.
04:51Modest, too.
04:52He's not my date, Marcos.
04:53He's...
04:54Straight.
04:55Totally straight.
04:57So is my last boyfriend.
05:07That must be her.
05:08You're dating a lesbian?
05:10She's not a lesbian.
05:14How can you be so sure?
05:15Gaydar.
05:17Give me a break.
05:24Hey, baby.
05:45You know, straight people can learn gaydar if they spend enough time around queer people.
05:53I'm guessing that's something you've not done a lot of.
05:56I know some gay people.
05:59Some of the other programmers at work.
06:00But you don't hang out with them, right?
06:02We kind of hang out with each other.
06:04There must be some straight people you hang with.
06:07Not really.
06:08They're mostly techno geeks.
06:09Half of them haven't seen a movie in the past year.
06:11You're a movie buff?
06:12Kind of a fanatic.
06:13Me, too.
06:14Major fanatic.
06:15Who's your favorite director?
06:16Milos Forman.
06:17Especially for Amadeus.
06:18Amadeus?
06:19You're crazy.
06:20If we're talking Forman, what about People vs. Larry Flint?
06:24Wait, no.
06:25Cuckoo's Nest.
06:26It's a classic.
06:27You won't get an argument from me, but Amadeus has the music, the costumes, the performances.
06:34Are you sure you're not gay?
06:37Positive.
06:39Oh, my God.
06:42Think that's your day?
06:44Of course not.
06:45I'm not delusional, but man, what a body.
06:49I don't know.
06:50Guys that big kind of creep me out.
06:52You're telling me you wouldn't want a body like that, even if you could?
06:56No.
06:57So what's your ideal body type?
07:01I don't like that guy with the magazine over there.
07:07Oh.
07:08Swimmer's build.
07:10I can see that.
07:11He is pretty hot.
07:13I'm not saying I'm attracted to him, but objectively speaking, he is very...
07:19fit.
07:20Spare me the homosexual panic.
07:23I don't know.
07:26Fit.
07:27Spare me the homosexual panic.
07:30Even if you were attracted to him, so what?
07:32Hell, I thought that lesbian you were trying to pick up was very sexy, but that doesn't make me straight.
07:39I didn't know gay guys ever felt that way about women.
07:41Some don't.
07:42We don't all come from a factory in Taiwan, you know.
07:51I think my best friend in junior high might have been gay.
07:54Really?
07:56Do you ever fool around?
07:57You see, you just can't accept that I'm not gay.
08:00This has nothing to do with being gay or straight.
08:03Every kid fools around if he gets half a chance.
08:10Define fooling around.
08:12You did, didn't you?
08:13It wasn't anything serious. We were 12. We were curious.
08:17Well, I'd ask you for all the gory details, but this is obviously making you uncomfortable.
08:22Well, a little.
08:24Mostly, I just really gotta take a leak.
08:26So go.
08:30Get over yourself. Nobody's gonna jump you.
08:34Okay, be right back.
09:22Oh.
09:45A table opened up. I thought I'd better grab it.
09:47You're welcome to join me.
09:49I'm enjoying your company. I just thought you'd like your own table.
09:55Well, once my date shows up.
09:57Looks like things are thinning out anyway.
10:06How long are you supposed to wait for somebody on one of these coffee dates, anyway?
10:09Why are you asking me? I'm no expert.
10:12Well, I guess I just figured you'd done your share of these things.
10:15You think because I'm gay I can't sustain a serious relationship.
10:18You think I'm out every night partying and screwing my brains out.
10:22Whoa!
10:23I'm a little new to your world, but I'm certainly not trying to be offensive.
10:29I'm sorry.
10:31I guess I've kind of been on a dating rampage lately.
10:37But before that, I was in a monogamous relationship for five years.
10:41At least, I was monogamous.
10:44Ouch. You know that story.
10:47I was actually married, although we sure as hell didn't make it any five years.
10:51Technically, it was two.
10:54That's only because the divorce took six months.
10:56Sounds pretty bad.
10:58I was a total wreck. When it was finally over, I didn't date for a year.
11:03Did you go through a slutty period?
11:05Or is that just a gay thing?
11:09I slept around a bit.
11:12Of course, it's not as easy when the other person isn't also a horny guy.
11:16I've heard that. You straight guys sure have it tough.
11:20So, are you looking to score with your date tonight?
11:25Assuming she ever shows up.
11:29Or are you looking for something a little more substantial these days?
11:33Substantial? That's a good word.
11:35Yeah, that's what I'm looking for.
11:37Me too.
11:38I must be getting old, but sex just isn't the big deal it was for me in my twenties.
11:43Don't get me wrong, I'm still a big fan, but...
11:47there are times when I gladly trade a good fuck for a little decent conversation.
11:53I know what you mean.
11:54When I was doing the whole singles bar, one night stand thing, I just got so bored.
11:59Some of the women I took home seemed to actually get offended when I wanted to talk to them.
12:03Like about movies?
12:04Exactly.
12:05This one woman thought Milos Forman was some new sexual position I wanted to show her.
12:11You know something?
12:13For a straight guy, you're actually kind of funny and interesting.
12:16I am, aren't I?
12:19I hope my date turns out to be half as entertaining.
12:22To tell you the truth, I'm a little nervous about meeting him.
12:26We really seem to connect.
12:30Granted, it was only through email, but he seems special.
12:35I guess life hasn't completely beaten the romantic out of me yet.
12:39Tell me about him.
12:41Well, he's very bright and funny.
12:45And unlike most people on the internet, he can actually write and punctuate a coherent sentence.
12:51Plus, he's a movie nut.
12:53What's his name?
12:54His name's Todd.
13:00Oh, shit.
13:04You're Kelly, aren't you?
13:07God damn it.
13:08My brother did this.
13:10He posted that ad.
13:11In the men seeking men section.
13:13He must be laughing his ass off right now.
13:15What a prick.
13:18I guess you're not going to be meeting people through the internet anymore.
13:21I don't know.
13:23Other than you being the wrong gender, you seem like a nice person.
13:26And you didn't even inflate.
13:29Excuse me?
13:30I mean, you were honest about your appearance.
13:32You are above average.
13:35Thanks.
13:37That's really sweet.
13:40And before, what I said about you not being my type is not true.
13:45Thanks, I think.
13:49Listen.
13:51Since you are technically my date,
13:55can I buy you a cup of coffee?
13:57I don't know about you, but I can use one.
14:01That'd be nice.
14:03Uh, black, no sugar.
14:05Very butch.
14:06I personally adore their low-fat lattes with whipped cream and chocolate shavings.
14:11I always drink it black.
14:13Then black it'll be.
14:18Kelly.
14:19Yeah?
14:21There's an Igmar Bergman double feature at the New Beverly tonight.
14:25I'm not asking you out on a date type of thing.
14:29I just, I really don't know anyone else who might enjoy Bergman.
14:34You know something?
14:36Neither do I.
14:38Oh, we're on?
14:43Hey, Kelly.
14:45Why don't you give me one of those girly drinks you're having?
15:11Hey, bro.
16:11Hey, Kelly.
16:14Why don't you give me one of those girly drinks you're having?
16:21Hey, bro.
16:24Why don't you give me one of those girly drinks you're having?
16:31Hey, Kelly.
16:33Why don't you give me one of those girly drinks you're having?
16:40Hey, Kelly.
16:43Why don't you give me one of those girly drinks you're having?