Bill O’Reilly no longer a factor at Fox News, gets the boot

  • 7 years ago
NEW YORK — Tears are being shed across the country, some in sympathy, some in joy, as Fox News announced it’s saying goodbye to the top cable news host in the country, Bill O’Reilly.

It looks like Fox finally had to draw the line at two decades of unwanted sexual advances.

O’Reilly always had a way with the ladies. He allegedly called an African-American woman “hot chocolate.”

He was also accused of masturbating on the phone while hitting on a former associate producer. He allegedly suggested to the producer that she buy a vibrator and hop in a threesome with him.

The producer also had the pleasure of hearing about O’Reilly’s escapades with a cabana masseuse, airline stewardesses and Thai sex-show workers. O’Reilly even told her he’d like to shower with her and fondle her with a loofah, which he called a “falafel thing.”

In the end, there were just too many dirty old man allegations to sweep under the table for Fox News.

Tucker Carlson will now take over O’Reilly’s vacated primetime slot. Yay!

As for O’Reilly, guess it’s back to writing children’s books.