Are You the Husband Allah Describes? - Khutbah by Nouman Ali Khan
Muslims must meet two sets of responsibilities, says Nouman Ali Khan: responsibilities towards Allah and towards people. While our obligations to Allah are clear and simple, with the only possibility of wrong-doing falling on us, human relationships are much more complicated. But the two are not separate from each other; if you fail in your responsibilities towards people, then you have also failed before Allah. Marital relationships are a case in point. Allah perfectly sums up the husband-wife connection in the first part of Aya 34 of Surat An-Nisaa: “Arrijaal qawwamuna ‘ala an-nisaa." Despite popular misconception, the word “qawwamuna” has nothing to do with authority, says Khan. Its core meaning combines the notions of activity, commitment, consistency, reliability and conferring value. Physical, emotional and spiritual abuse in the form of “religious blackmail” are not tolerated in Islam. On the contrary, husbands have a responsibility to actively maintain relationships, protect their spouses (even against their own parents, with respect) and to be the mentors and advisers who will help them fulfill their goals.