Make Me an Offer (1954)
88 min | Comedy | December 1954 (UK)
Charlie as a boy on a trip to the local museum, falls in love with a green portland vase, and decides that this is his quest in life to find it. So as a grown up he is still searching, does he achieve his goal though?
Director: Cyril Frankel
Writers: W.P. Lipscomb (screenplay), Wolf Mankowitz (additional dialogue)
Stars: Peter Finch, Adrienne Corri, Rosalie Crutchley
88 min | Comedy | December 1954 (UK)
Charlie as a boy on a trip to the local museum, falls in love with a green portland vase, and decides that this is his quest in life to find it. So as a grown up he is still searching, does he achieve his goal though?
Director: Cyril Frankel
Writers: W.P. Lipscomb (screenplay), Wolf Mankowitz (additional dialogue)
Stars: Peter Finch, Adrienne Corri, Rosalie Crutchley
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
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00:04:20Take it all in, Charlie boy. It's educational.
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00:05:31You all right, son?
00:05:33Not feeling sick, are you?
00:05:37Had enough?
00:05:39Oh, you haven't seen much.
00:05:41I've seen a lot.
00:05:43Ah.
00:05:45♪♪
00:05:52Sure you're feeling good, Charlie?
00:05:54♪♪
00:05:59Little fathead, see what you're letting yourself in for?
00:06:02Warn him, Dad, can't you?
00:06:04Ah.
00:06:06A bad day when I bought that six penny worth of old catalogues and found that newspaper cutting.
00:06:12Look, Dad, look what I found.
00:06:15A Chinese jade, a pair of Buckingham figures,
00:06:18and look, an old Wedgwood Green Portland vase.
00:06:23It said it was made by this old code,
00:06:26which is Sarah Wedgwood, in 1783.
00:06:29Took him five years.
00:06:31Five years, eh? Took his time, didn't he?
00:06:34It says it was perfect, nothing ever seen like it.
00:06:37A Green Portland vase.
00:06:40Oh, it's a nice vase, there's no argument about that.
00:06:43But you never see it.
00:06:45You never know, Dad, I might.
00:06:47But it's stolen property, it says so, stolen 50 years ago.
00:06:50I might find it.
00:06:52But you couldn't sell it, did you?
00:06:54I'll keep it myself.
00:06:56Charlie boy, that's no way to talk.
00:06:58A dealer never keeps anything to himself,
00:07:01unless he finds himself stuck with it.
00:07:03Then he's got to take it home.
00:07:05His old woman cuts up rough.
00:07:07Forget it, son.
00:07:09Vase like that, it's out of this world.
00:07:11Stick to trade.
00:07:13Do as I done, specialise.
00:07:16I will, I'll specialise.
00:07:19It'll be Wedgwood.
00:07:22I got stuck on Wedgwood.
00:07:24Now wherever I go, whatever I buy,
00:07:26there's always something I never find.
00:07:29That Green Portland vase.
00:07:32Crazy.
00:07:34Dad should have knocked my block off.
00:07:41I'm glad you came back in time.
00:07:44Did he do any business?
00:07:46No, only an Australian, he wanted a little gem.
00:07:48They always do.
00:07:50I thought it's too little.
00:07:52Oh, don't buy any little jugs.
00:07:54In fact, don't buy anything.
00:07:56Oh, enter that in the ledger, will you?
00:07:59Well, this week we eat.
00:08:04Oh, the bank manager rang twice.
00:08:12Hello, this is...
00:08:13Charlie there?
00:08:14Who is that?
00:08:15Fred.
00:08:16Fred?
00:08:17Frimes.
00:08:18Frames?
00:08:19Fred.
00:08:20Charlie, Fred here.
00:08:21Come over and see me.
00:08:22What have you got?
00:08:23Something up your street.
00:08:25Course you want, sir.
00:08:26Oh, nothing's worth that.
00:08:28Well, it's Wedgwood.
00:08:29All right, I'll come straight over.
00:08:31Ta-da.
00:08:33Dobby, I go to see Fred, Frames, Chelsea.
00:08:36Mr. Frames, yes.
00:08:37Dobby, that's not his name, that's what he deals in.
00:08:39He buys gilt frames, burns them down and collects the gold.
00:08:42Gold, is there any?
00:08:43Not much, but he gets what there is.
00:08:44He could get gold out of a pawnbroker's tooth.
00:08:46Be good, make some money.
00:08:50DOOR OPENS
00:08:56Hey, Fred.
00:08:57How's business?
00:08:59It's all breaking.
00:09:01You kill yourself to find two underweight frames, you burn them.
00:09:05Now they stick the ashes into the acid there.
00:09:08The chemical precipitates the gold.
00:09:10Now wait for it, here it comes.
00:09:13Here you are.
00:09:16May I ask you, a fortune.
00:09:19Two underweight of frames.
00:09:21Do you do any export trade?
00:09:23Here, your catalogue's over here.
00:09:25Here you are.
00:09:27Now, Fred, this is a demolition site.
00:09:30It's a demolition job, period.
00:09:32So somebody or other, it's empty.
00:09:35It's got to be broken up, local housing scheme.
00:09:37Yeah, but a break-up shop's no good to me.
00:09:39No, you look at it here, page two.
00:09:44Look, one old room, blasted with Wedgwood plaques there.
00:09:49See, demolition job.
00:09:51Antique dealers won't be there, you know.
00:09:53There's nothing for them.
00:09:54Clear field for you.
00:09:56Would you want the catalogue, yes or no?
00:09:58Maybe.
00:10:00No-one knows about it except the break-up boys.
00:10:02I've got it in the country.
00:10:04They even spelled Wedgwood wrong.
00:10:07See, they don't know much.
00:10:10Come and go, give us the work, sir.
00:10:13You're a clumpy one, you are.
00:10:21Well, how's the rent?
00:10:23Where's the bullion?
00:10:25Give me a second.
00:10:41Dobby!
00:10:43We're on to something good.
00:10:45Wedgwood, loads of it.
00:10:47Here, take a look.
00:10:49Mr. Toshack?
00:10:51Oh, Mr. Toshack, I've got a Wedgwood room.
00:10:54Yeah?
00:10:55It's a large room, plaques set in pine panelling.
00:10:58I'll be.
00:10:59The room's got to be clean.
00:11:01I'll be.
00:11:02I'll be.
00:11:03I'll be.
00:11:04I'll be.
00:11:05I'll be.
00:11:06I'll be.
00:11:07I'll be.
00:11:09I'll be.
00:11:10The room is, um...
00:11:1240 by 30.
00:11:14Large tablet set as a frieze.
00:11:16Yeah?
00:11:18So, I'm telling you, Mr. Toshack, it's yours.
00:11:21Don't always pass on something good.
00:11:23Cut out the soft soap.
00:11:25When you've got the goods, let me see, that's all.
00:11:27I'm busy.
00:11:29Yes, but, Mr. Toshack, it may cost quite a lot.
00:11:32Maybe 600 pounds, maybe more.
00:11:35OK, well, then you buy it, then.
00:11:37It'll save you a lot of money if I bought it for you.
00:11:39No, Charlie, you buy it.
00:11:41Well, if I buy it and, Mr. Toshack, it'll cost you more,
00:11:44the dealer's got to live.
00:11:45Why?
00:11:46I don't know why either.
00:11:47It's a custom, it's a trade.
00:11:49Look, Mr. Toshack, if I buy it for you...
00:11:51No, Charlie, you buy it.
00:11:52You buy it first.
00:11:53Check.
00:11:54Check.
00:11:55But, Mr...
00:12:01Tommy, get out of this business while you've got your health and strength.
00:12:04Or better still, use your college education and take 600 in the shop tomorrow.
00:12:08600?
00:12:09Well, you don't really mean it.
00:12:11I never know whether you're joking or not.
00:12:13Me, I'm crying for the moon in 600.
00:12:15Ring my wife, give her a surprise.
00:12:17Tell her I'm coming home.
00:12:28That's the boy.
00:12:29That's the boy.
00:12:32Hey, his pulse is beating on the top of his head, just here.
00:12:36It's wet, it hasn't closed up yet.
00:12:41Let's see what it is.
00:12:44Bye-bye.
00:12:45Bye-bye.
00:12:46Come on, eh?
00:12:47Feet's in.
00:12:48That's it.
00:12:51Shh, shh.
00:13:00A picture?
00:13:08Well done.
00:13:11Black boy.
00:13:13Black boy?
00:13:14Black boy is his latest invention.
00:13:16Ticks him off all day.
00:13:18Hey, you're not supposed to have seen that.
00:13:20That's for the birthday.
00:13:21Top secret.
00:13:22Put it away.
00:13:23He's breathing through his mouth again.
00:13:26So long as he breathes.
00:13:31I'm glad you're home early,
00:13:32because the pulley on the washing line's broken.
00:13:34All right, all right, give me a minute.
00:13:35I only just got in.
00:13:36Don't put it off, because it'll never get done.
00:13:37All right, all right.
00:13:38Would you give me a hand with the cramp?
00:13:40Why don't you leave it there?
00:13:41Well, it gets in the way of the door.
00:13:42Put it up there, then.
00:13:43Well, I can't get through from the kitchen.
00:13:44Well, we should ask Abe's partner if I can put it in his shed.
00:13:47Look, Abe's partner's my landlord.
00:13:48Maybe he'll let me in.
00:13:49No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:13:51Put it in his shed.
00:13:52Look, Abe's partner's my landlord.
00:13:53Maybe he wants his own shed.
00:13:54Well, I've asked you a thousand times.
00:13:55Oh, don't call me baby.
00:13:56It always starts around.
00:14:00Hello?
00:14:01Bella?
00:14:02Madge?
00:14:03Bella?
00:14:04Yes?
00:14:05I found you a fur coat, and it's going to...
00:14:07No.
00:14:08Where?
00:14:10The shop on the corner.
00:14:13Oh, the other one.
00:14:14Madame Watson, eh?
00:14:15The big boy with the small mustache.
00:14:18How much?
00:14:19Madge, I'll try.
00:14:20I'll talk to him.
00:14:21Do you know what he is?
00:14:23Thank you, darling.
00:14:24I'd do the same for you.
00:14:25Bye.
00:14:27Charlie, that was Madge.
00:14:29She thinks she can get hold of a wonderful fur coat.
00:14:31It's 100 guineas.
00:14:32Isn't a pound good enough for her?
00:14:33Yes, but she thinks she can get it for 50.
00:14:34Fancy.
00:14:35Fancy?
00:14:36Oh, I thought you'd be excited.
00:14:37I'm hysterical.
00:14:38Yes, but don't you see?
00:14:39If you can get a 100-pound coat for 50 pounds,
00:14:41you've saved 50.
00:14:42I have?
00:14:43Of course.
00:14:44What do I do with the 50 pounds?
00:14:45Well, buy the coat.
00:14:46Look, you work in the shop.
00:14:47I'll stay at home.
00:14:49Oh.
00:14:56Well, I'm sorry, but you did promise.
00:14:59I know.
00:15:00I know.
00:15:01I keep promising.
00:15:02I promised you a fur coat for your birthday and I didn't get it,
00:15:04so all right, I'm a heel.
00:15:05Oh, don't be silly, Charlie.
00:15:06I wouldn't hold you to it.
00:15:07I don't start the forgiving stuff.
00:15:08You know it makes me mad.
00:15:09You only want a row to make yourself feel good.
00:15:11I wish you'd nag like any decent.
00:15:12I think I'm being very nice about it.
00:15:13I'd sooner you threw plates at me.
00:15:14We've only got five in the house.
00:15:15Uh-huh.
00:15:19Now, seriously,
00:15:20what worries me is that I promised it to you in front of the kid.
00:15:23He's too young to understand.
00:15:24Well, you can't break a promise in front of a kid.
00:15:26He's got to grow up right.
00:15:27He's got to have morals or something.
00:15:29He's got to know what's right,
00:15:30even if he does go into the business later on.
00:15:33Oh, so it's him you're afraid of.
00:15:35Not me.
00:15:36Oh.
00:15:37Oh, come on, Charlie.
00:15:38Oh.
00:15:39Snap out of it.
00:15:45Hello, Madge?
00:15:46Is Charlie there?
00:15:47Oh, yes.
00:15:48Charlie?
00:15:49Yes?
00:15:50Paid the rent?
00:15:51Of course not.
00:15:53Hello, Mr. Sparta.
00:15:54You got coal to spare, Charlie?
00:15:56Coal?
00:15:57Sure.
00:15:58Bring it.
00:15:59We're out.
00:16:00Mr. Sparta, can I come up and see you for a minute?
00:16:02Well, you know where I am.
00:16:03Fine, I'll come straight up.
00:16:05Put my dinner in the oven, honey.
00:16:06What's the matter?
00:16:07I've got an idea.
00:16:08I can do a deal with Mr. Sparta.
00:16:09Pine panelling.
00:16:10A Wedgwood room.
00:16:11Oh, ask him if I can put the pram in his shed.
00:16:14Oh, sure, sure.
00:16:15Break the rest, why don't you?
00:16:16What good are they?
00:16:17Oh, come in, Charlie.
00:16:18The plates, that woman breaks.
00:16:19You've got plates in your shop?
00:16:20Bring them along, she'll break them.
00:16:21What would he do if he couldn't complain?
00:16:22How's the baby, Charlie?
00:16:23Fine, Mrs. Sparta.
00:16:24You want the cigar?
00:16:25Oh, no, no, I don't smoke cigar.
00:16:26That's a beautiful fire, Mr. Sparta.
00:16:27Yeah, I love a good fire.
00:16:28I've got to go.
00:16:29I've got to go.
00:16:30I've got to go.
00:16:31I've got to go.
00:16:32I've got to go.
00:16:33I've got to go.
00:16:34I've got to go.
00:16:35I've got to go.
00:16:36I've got to go.
00:16:37I've got to go.
00:16:38I've got to go.
00:16:39Oh, no, no, I don't smoke cigar.
00:16:41That's a beautiful fire, Mr. Sparta.
00:16:43Yeah, I love a good fire, go on, Charlie.
00:16:48I've got onto something good today, Mr. Sparta.
00:16:50There's something good about that coal.
00:16:52Oh yes, yes, we burn a lot of coal, Mr. Sparta.
00:16:56Oh yeah, nearly two hundred weights per week,
00:16:59sometimes nearly three.
00:17:00That's a lot of coal.
00:17:06So Charlie boy.
00:17:07Demolition. All the break-up boys will be there.
00:17:14Page two.
00:17:15Page two.
00:17:17Aha, fine panelling. Should fetch a nice price in that room.
00:17:23I want the Wedgwood plaques out of the panelling,
00:17:26but I can't get them without buying the room.
00:17:27And what will you do with the panelling?
00:17:29Sell it to you.
00:17:29You mean I should buy the room and sell you the Wedgwood?
00:17:33Well, that's another way of doing it, Mr Spock.
00:17:36Any lead in the sale?
00:17:37Oh, yes, sir. Unless it's been stripped.
00:17:40I'm going down tomorrow to take a look.
00:17:42Sale's the day after.
00:17:44I like lead.
00:17:47I bought this house, Charlie. You know why?
00:17:50Little porches everywhere made of lead.
00:17:51Lead at 120 pounds a tonne.
00:17:54I cleared the purchase money of the house on lead.
00:17:57Don't take very much to make a tonne.
00:17:58You're a great businessman, Mr Spock.
00:18:01How are you going?
00:18:03A train. A chance to see who's coming.
00:18:07Find out the trains. Get the tickets. I'll come with you.
00:18:09Thanks, Mr Sputter.
00:18:10And don't forget about the coal.
00:18:12Oh, no, no, no.
00:18:12I like coal.
00:18:13I wouldn't like to see you get a cold, Mr Sputter.
00:18:17Not yet, anyway.
00:18:26It worked.
00:18:27I've had mine.
00:18:28What happened?
00:18:29Got myself a deal.
00:18:30You never tell me.
00:18:32All right.
00:18:33I'm going to buy a room without buying it,
00:18:35give half to Abe Sputter,
00:18:37and then sell what I haven't bought.
00:18:38We'll see.
00:18:39Did you ask about the pram?
00:18:40It didn't come up.
00:18:41Take the bones out, honey.
00:18:42It's your dinner. You take the bones out.
00:18:44No, sir. The collar of the shirt.
00:18:46I don't know why you have to have bones in your collar.
00:18:48In my business, you've got to look smart.
00:18:51Madge called again.
00:18:52She thinks she can get the coat.
00:18:53Well, you pray that I get a Wedgwood room.
00:18:55I will.
00:18:57Hey.
00:18:58Supposing I get it and Abe Sputter backs out?
00:19:00He'd die, wouldn't he?
00:19:03Maybe he drops dead.
00:19:04Please, Abe, don't.
00:19:05Wait.
00:19:07It's a big room.
00:19:09Maybe there's a lot of Wedgwood.
00:19:12Perhaps I can make a couple of hundred pounds.
00:19:14And to put me square,
00:19:16you get your coat.
00:19:30Come on.
00:20:00Come on.
00:20:30Come on.
00:21:01Thanks.
00:21:17Drop them, French.
00:21:22Break it open, Mark.
00:21:24Cover the box.
00:21:26Break it.
00:21:28Thanks, Mike.
00:21:30It's Frank's.
00:21:36Frank's.
00:21:43That's 200 pounds I don't make.
00:22:30Two pounds. What sort of fur coat do you get for two pounds? You, you started me off on the wrong foot.
00:22:53Look what you got me.
00:24:30Hello you. Hello.
00:24:50You're a dealer aren't you?
00:24:52Yes I was just...
00:24:53Would you like to buy this?
00:25:00Well seeing as it's been in your possession I'll give you ten shillings for it.
00:25:09Oh I was hoping you'd say two pounds. I really need two pounds. Only two.
00:25:14That's all right. Does nobody ever argue with you?
00:25:27I'm so glad you liked it.
00:25:29You're dead right.
00:25:52Frank.
00:26:08Grandfather's asleep.
00:26:10Perhaps you'd like to look round. You might see something you like better.
00:26:14Yes I might.
00:26:15Come on then.
00:26:26I was just tidying. It builds up so you men wouldn't understand. Would you like to see in the sitting room?
00:26:32What about the old gentleman?
00:26:34He's asleep. Once he's asleep he never wakes up.
00:26:37Looks like it.
00:27:06All right.
00:27:33Come on.
00:27:39Frank.
00:28:08Wasn't that piece any good at all?
00:28:13It's not bad but it's not what I'm looking for. You haven't any others by any chance?
00:28:18There was something else.
00:28:20Can I see it?
00:28:22It broke. I hid it because he gets so cross. He's past ninety and he can't speak but he curses you with his eyes. Dreadful.
00:28:29Perhaps I could find it.
00:28:36Who is the old boy in there?
00:28:38Sir John Nightingale. He's my great great... I forget how many greats. He owned the whole estate once. He was very wicked.
00:28:45In his young days eh?
00:28:47All his days. My mother says he's never done a good deed in his life. At least not yet.
00:28:52Ninety. He's cutting it a bit fine isn't he?
00:28:56Tell me. Was he a collector? I mean did he collect special things like English pottery or...
00:29:02Oh yes. But all his collection was sold to pay debts years ago. Even when they break up the mansion he won't get a penny.
00:29:07Yes but maybe there's some of his collection around still.
00:29:10Oh no. They took everything. All the families simply hate him. They allow him to use this cottage and some poor relation has to come and look after him from time to time.
00:29:17I'm the poor relation. That's why I want it for two pounds. A girl needs things.
00:29:23A girl sometimes gets things.
00:29:26Have you forgotten what you're looking for?
00:29:29Yes. What was it?
00:29:31Oh the china ornament. I know I put it where I should remember where it was. It's not here.
00:29:39No.
00:29:45There.
00:29:47That's something he couldn't sell.
00:29:49Any good?
00:29:50It looks a bit odd doesn't it?
00:29:52I was trying to stick it together but the glue wasn't any good. But if you like it it is all there.
00:29:57It's a pity. Instead of this was here there may be something else. A blue vase for instance that looks something like that. Maybe not blue but green.
00:30:11No. I'm sorry. And I would like to help.
00:30:17Yes I know. You've been very kind. Tell you what tit for tat I'll help you with all this washing up.
00:30:24Oh no this is woman's work.
00:30:30It's grandfather's supper. I've got to get the vegetables. I'll be back in a minute.
00:30:34Oh take your time.
00:30:55Grrr.
00:31:00Grrr.
00:31:02Grrr.
00:31:04Grrr.
00:31:06Grrr.
00:31:08Grrr.
00:31:10Grrr.
00:31:12Grrr.
00:31:14Grrr.
00:31:16Grrr.
00:31:18Grrr.
00:31:20Grr.
00:31:24Grr.
00:31:28Grrr.
00:31:30Grrr.
00:31:32Grrrr.
00:31:36Grrr.
00:31:44Grrr.
00:32:16I don't know what you're talking about.
00:32:19I don't know what you're talking about.
00:32:22I don't know what you're talking about.
00:32:25I don't know what you're talking about.
00:32:28I don't know what you're talking about.
00:32:31I don't know what you're talking about.
00:32:34I don't know what you're talking about.
00:32:37I don't know what you're talking about.
00:32:40I don't know what you're talking about.
00:32:44Just dusting, sir.
00:32:59It's been a lovely day.
00:33:14These are right.
00:33:19I wonder if this is here.
00:33:22If it is, then this must be here, too.
00:33:30I wonder where.
00:33:34I wonder where.
00:33:37I wonder where.
00:33:40I wonder where.
00:33:59Hello.
00:34:02Feeling lazy?
00:34:05Sorry I was so long.
00:34:08You're certainly full of wonderful courage.
00:34:10Yes, I'm very domesticated, really.
00:34:12You don't know how hard it is to keep the kitchen clean.
00:34:22Tell me, have you seen a sort of a Chinese statue knocking about anywhere?
00:34:30You know, the kind that's got feet like that and hands like this and a Chinese head.
00:34:37No.
00:34:39Oh, that one.
00:34:41Yes, it's in my bedroom.
00:34:43Would you like to see it?
00:34:47Perhaps it's worth something.
00:34:48Maybe.
00:34:49Wouldn't that be wonderful?
00:34:54Of course, it is a little...
00:34:55Broken?
00:34:56Only a little.
00:34:58The room's a bit of a mess.
00:35:01It's charming.
00:35:03I was tidying.
00:35:05Tidying or stock-taking?
00:35:07Stock-taking.
00:35:08Clothes.
00:35:09That's all a girl has.
00:35:12What did I bring you here for?
00:35:13I forget.
00:35:15I know it was a long time ago since we discussed it, about 30 seconds,
00:35:18but I asked you about a Chinese figure.
00:35:20Chinese figure?
00:35:21Why should I have a Chinese figure in the bedroom?
00:35:24Oh, that!
00:35:25Of course, how could you forget?
00:35:27Yes, of course, here it is!
00:35:30Oh, you are clumsy.
00:35:34Well, you could have caught it.
00:35:37Well, we seem to have made a nasty mess of this one.
00:35:41Still there must be other things, a deadly hazard I'd like to buy.
00:35:45Like that vase I told you about.
00:35:48You haven't broken a green vase, have you?
00:35:51No, no, I'd remember.
00:35:52Green's my colour.
00:35:54Oh.
00:35:55Yeah.
00:35:56Well, there must be something else.
00:35:58You got an attic?
00:35:59Oh, the attic, yes.
00:36:02Well, you carry on tidying up and I'll take a look.
00:36:04No, I'll come with you.
00:36:06After all, I don't know you, do I?
00:36:08Go to that, I don't even know your name.
00:36:10Call me Nicky.
00:36:11Everyone does, sooner or later.
00:36:19Juno!
00:36:20Juno!
00:36:24A dog's a form of protection, you know.
00:36:26Against rats.
00:36:28Juno!
00:36:29Juno!
00:36:30Juno!
00:36:31Rats!
00:36:32Go on, catch them!
00:36:33Catch them!
00:36:49Do you mind if I look?
00:36:50No, you look.
00:37:02I said, look!
00:37:23Grandfather Fuzza, we must go now.
00:37:24I can't leave you here alone.
00:37:26Oh, why, don't you trust me?
00:37:27You're very sweet, but you might be a burglar.
00:37:29Come along.
00:37:31Come along. There's nothing here anyway.
00:37:41No, there's nothing.
00:38:01What's the matter with you?
00:38:15Those rats, is it? Well, you've had your rats, you didn't offer me any.
00:38:20Is it your bone?
00:38:23Well, go and get it or don't go and get it. What do I care?
00:38:26All right. Come on, I'll get it for you.
00:39:26All right.
00:39:42All right.
00:40:10I'm sorry I was so long.
00:40:36I was looking for the dog's bone. It was wedged under a box.
00:40:39Oh, yes.
00:40:41Can I wash my hands before I go?
00:40:46While I was looking for the dog's bone, I found that thing.
00:40:51Oh, yes.
00:40:53Of course, it's green.
00:40:55People expect wedged wood to be blue, but green, somebody might take a fancy to it.
00:40:59It cleans up all right.
00:41:03I know, a girl needs things.
00:41:05Even for vows like that, you could get a five, huh?
00:41:14Green's my color.
00:41:16I think I'll keep it.
00:41:37Vicki, you know we smashed that other piece. I feel responsible.
00:41:42I'll give you ten pounds and I'll take the old vase.
00:41:44Would I be very wicked if I sold it to you?
00:41:47Well, that's for you to decide.
00:41:49I'm glad you agree. I will sell it.
00:41:51Fine.
00:41:52But it isn't really ten pounds I want. It's really a hundred.
00:41:56A hundred?
00:41:58And if I don't get a hundred, I might as well keep it.
00:42:04Look, Vicki, supposing I give you a hundred. What happens? I take it home, I put it in the shop window.
00:42:09Everybody comes every day and they say, what a pretty vase.
00:42:11I'm giving the public pleasure. I like to give them pleasure, but nobody buys it.
00:42:15So what do I do? I take it home and put flowers in it.
00:42:18You understand?
00:42:20What's your name?
00:42:23Charlie.
00:42:26All right, I won't argue. I'll give you a hundred pounds.
00:42:28But it's not for all the deadly nightshade to live recklessly on the best bananas.
00:42:31I want to help you.
00:42:32All right, Charlie. A hundred pounds will help me.
00:42:34I'll give you a check.
00:42:35No, I don't take checks.
00:42:37What do you think? I walk about with my shoes lined with five pound hoops.
00:42:40I like money you can see. Save them.
00:42:46Give him his bananas. I hope he chokes.
00:42:49Wicked old man, he won't.
00:42:51Juno, stay.
00:43:07Hey.
00:43:09Hey.
00:43:11Drop him. Sit.
00:43:15You'll come down to the auction?
00:43:17Maybe.
00:43:18You'll bring the hundred pounds?
00:43:20If I can find it.
00:43:21Because...
00:43:26Look.
00:43:28Oh, a whole hundred.
00:43:32I must be going now.
00:43:34Now look after that vase for me. Don't touch it.
00:43:37You break things easily.
00:43:39You and your vase, me and my fur coat, we're both crazy.
00:43:44You won't forget.
00:43:45I'll try not to.
00:43:47Goodbye.
00:43:49Goodbye.
00:44:01Goodbye.
00:44:21It's all right. I know I look a ragbag.
00:44:23Did I say anything?
00:44:24You looked it.
00:44:25Your son splashed water all over me. The baby's thrown his food at the wall.
00:44:29I've got to go up and see Abe Sparta.
00:44:31We should ask him if we could put the pram in the shed.
00:44:34Do you want me to write it down?
00:44:35Look, Fred Frames is coming round. Give me a shout.
00:44:37My father might be round too.
00:44:38What is this, a conspiracy?
00:44:40Not tonight, Charlie. I'm worn out.
00:44:42Look, I'm in business.
00:44:43I've got to make two hundred pounds by tomorrow.
00:44:52The pine panelling's worth the money, Mr. Sparta. There's a lot of stuff.
00:44:55Any lead?
00:44:56I've got to look for lead.
00:44:57You are coming, aren't you?
00:44:58Got the tickets?
00:44:59Sure, sure.
00:45:00Reserve seats?
00:45:01Back to the engine.
00:45:02Right over the bogie wheels have it.
00:45:03Ladle compartment.
00:45:04It leaves at 9.15.
00:45:05And what about that coal?
00:45:07That's coming right up, Mr. Sparta.
00:45:08Oh, and about our big pram.
00:45:10Be on time.
00:45:16Don't make all that noise. You'll wake the kids.
00:45:19Oh, hello, missus. It's Charlie.
00:45:21Fred, come in.
00:45:22Hello, Charlie.
00:45:25Hello, Dobby.
00:45:26Did you find Wendell?
00:45:27He's where?
00:45:29He's at the truck.
00:45:30Well, I hope he changed his shirt.
00:45:31Yes, so do I.
00:45:32Look, look after the shop tomorrow.
00:45:33Try and take a couple of hundred quid.
00:45:35A couple of hundred?
00:45:38I need it.
00:45:39Be good. Lock up.
00:45:41Fred, I'm bound to Wedgwood.
00:45:43Ah, all right, eh?
00:45:45And you're on your own for it.
00:45:46Do you know a dealer called Armstrong?
00:45:48What, Grimey Armstrong?
00:45:49I should say so.
00:45:50He's as tight as a drum, even for a dealer.
00:45:52What I want you to do is get on this phone,
00:45:54don't tell him where you are,
00:45:55and tell him the same story you told me about the sale.
00:45:59Put him on to it?
00:46:00To bid against you?
00:46:01Mm-hmm.
00:46:02You must be over your nuts.
00:46:04Tell him about the Wedgwood Clarks, a 40-foot room.
00:46:09Oh, I ought to charge you an extra nigger for this.
00:46:12Hello.
00:46:13Oh, hello.
00:46:14Is that Mr. Armstrong?
00:46:16Fred here.
00:46:17Grimes.
00:46:18Grimes.
00:46:19Look, Mr. Armstrong,
00:46:20I've got something here that might be of interest to you.
00:46:24Yes, Wedgwood.
00:46:25Whole room of it.
00:46:26Country sale.
00:46:27No other dealers except break-up men.
00:46:29Charlie, the table.
00:46:30I've got business.
00:46:31I've got an office. Can't you do it there?
00:46:32Well, it follows me around, OK?
00:46:34Oh, come on.
00:46:35Give me a hand.
00:46:38Oh, have you?
00:46:40Ooh.
00:46:41Yes.
00:46:42Oh, yes.
00:46:43Just in that line, isn't it?
00:46:44Get it.
00:46:46Oh, look at you, and I've just tidied it.
00:46:49Hey, Charlie,
00:46:50tone in the fun and games, will you?
00:46:52I'll call you a thing.
00:46:54Why do we have to keep this victorious monstrosity?
00:46:56That sideboard came from my mother.
00:46:58It looks like her, too.
00:46:59It's the only thing in the room that's mine,
00:47:00and you're not going to get rid of it.
00:47:01Well, I wouldn't mind if it worked.
00:47:02It works all right for me.
00:47:03Well, I'd have to live here, too, don't I?
00:47:04You can call it living.
00:47:05This is supposed to be a home,
00:47:07somewhere where you can have peace and quiet.
00:47:09Here, Mrs. Smoke,
00:47:10your frying pan's caught alight, I think.
00:47:12Here, Charlie.
00:47:13Here, Charlie.
00:47:14Oh, crud.
00:47:15Here, stop it.
00:47:16What are you doing?
00:47:17Kicking lovely bit of antique furniture about.
00:47:20There you are.
00:47:21There it goes all right.
00:47:24Here, Charlie.
00:47:25Oh, cry me armstrong.
00:47:26He nearly had a fit.
00:47:27Is he coming to the sale?
00:47:28Is he?
00:47:29He's only got a couple of yanks over.
00:47:30Big stuff.
00:47:31Just up there street.
00:47:33I don't know what you're up to, Charlie,
00:47:35but if you want competition,
00:47:37this is it.
00:47:39Oh, what next?
00:47:41Somebody answer the door as well.
00:47:43Dad, come in.
00:47:45I got your message, Charlie boy.
00:47:47Thought the house was on fire.
00:47:48Fred, my dad.
00:47:49How do, Gav?
00:47:50Here, he's gone stone raving mad.
00:47:51If you're his old man, I should clock him up.
00:47:53I'm sorry, Dad, you're not staying.
00:47:55I want you to do something for me.
00:47:56You up to something, Charlie?
00:47:58Lawful?
00:47:59High level.
00:48:00A couple of nickering for you.
00:48:01Son, that's no way to talk to your father.
00:48:04Make it three.
00:48:06Look, do you ever see your old pal, Wendell?
00:48:08Pal?
00:48:09No, not since he got into the money.
00:48:10Well, he's at the truck.
00:48:11I want you to tell him about this sale,
00:48:12and don't mention me.
00:48:13But he's a breakup man.
00:48:15Well, that's a breakup job.
00:48:17Charlie boy, you're not going in for demolition.
00:48:20I just want a little competition.
00:48:22You want competition?
00:48:25Son, are you feeling all right?
00:48:27Look, here's the address of the sale.
00:48:30Tell him there's lots of pine panelling,
00:48:31a big house, lots of lead.
00:48:34Lead, lead.
00:48:35Don't forget it.
00:48:36Sorry I can't ask you to dinner, Dad, but...
00:48:37Your poor father wouldn't get much if he did,
00:48:39so stay and have what there is.
00:48:40Okay, okay, I've gone.
00:48:43Lead.
00:48:44How's business?
00:48:46Pepper.
00:48:47I've got a whole ton of it.
00:48:48Sells well, too.
00:48:49Trouble as it gets in your eyes.
00:48:50Thanks for taking this job, Dad.
00:48:51Oh, we've done jobs before, haven't we?
00:48:53You remember the army boots?
00:48:55Oh, what a day.
00:48:56My pleasure.
00:48:57So long.
00:48:58Hey, Hunker, what did I tell you?
00:49:00He's gone crackers.
00:49:01There's never any crackers in my family.
00:49:04You shouldn't leave him.
00:49:06Ray?
00:49:08Want to join him, do you?
00:49:09No, thanks.
00:49:12Must you start moving the furniture about
00:49:13just as I'm bringing him the dinner?
00:49:15It's something valuable.
00:49:16I don't want broken.
00:49:17Well, where is it?
00:49:18I haven't got it yet.
00:49:19Well, why don't you wait till you do?
00:49:22Look, are we eating off this or off the table?
00:49:25I know what you're going to do.
00:49:26You're going to sell it.
00:49:28Nothing belongs here.
00:49:29This isn't a home.
00:49:30It's a warehouse.
00:49:31I'll try and sell that stuff in your bedroom
00:49:32as if I knew I couldn't.
00:49:33But that isn't antique.
00:49:34It's not meant to be.
00:49:35It's new.
00:49:36No, it's green.
00:49:37It's the one that doesn't bud in spring.
00:49:38Well, it's better than that awful old stuff of yours
00:49:40that keeps falling to bits and does,
00:49:41like this house.
00:49:42What's the matter with this house?
00:49:43It's full of corners and corridors and passages
00:49:45and a stove which comes out of the arc.
00:49:50I'm not hungry.
00:49:51You can have your dinner by yourself.
00:49:53I'm going to bed in my green bedroom.
00:49:55I'm tired.
00:49:57Tired.
00:49:59If you're so keen on antiques,
00:50:01you can sleep with them
00:50:02and like it.
00:50:05Oh.
00:50:17It's just that I get so tired.
00:50:30I know, I know.
00:50:31I should shoot myself.
00:50:35Hmm.
00:51:01Ah, a hundred pounds.
00:51:04Hmm.
00:51:07Ah, a hundred pounds.
00:51:22A hundred pounds.
00:51:25It isn't a hundred pounds.
00:51:26It's fifty.
00:51:35Oh.
00:51:40What's the matter with you?
00:51:41You've been moaning and groaning for hours.
00:52:05Ah.
00:52:30Huh?
00:52:32You worried about something?
00:52:35I got you a present for your mother's birthday.
00:52:37Yes.
00:52:38Let's see.
00:52:45Have you got the painting?
00:52:51That's the one you promised.
00:52:53That's wonderful.
00:53:02Good boy.
00:53:05I'll show you my present.
00:53:08When I get it.
00:53:29I'm certainly going to ride in a cute little British train.
00:53:32I bet Mr. Sweeney will want to hear all about it.
00:53:35I'd like to get one from a ranch in California.
00:53:37The kids would just love that.
00:53:40Dealer.
00:53:41Wetwood expert.
00:53:42Another dealer?
00:53:43What do we do, rob him or kill him?
00:53:44Not that I can read.
00:53:45Just give me a handful, will you?
00:53:49Here, take the stuff.
00:53:50Maybe it means something to you.
00:53:52I haven't gotten round to these cartwheel pennies yet.
00:53:54This way, Mr. Sweeney.
00:53:55Oh, thank you.
00:54:03So, Charlie.
00:54:05Oh, Mr. Spada.
00:54:06Where do I sit?
00:54:07That compartment.
00:54:08You'll find a chicken sandwich on the seat.
00:54:09And get me a paper, will you?
00:54:11I like a nice read on the train.
00:54:17Excuse me.
00:54:18Excuse me.
00:54:19I've lost my husband.
00:54:27Charlie.
00:54:28Mr. Wando.
00:54:30Are you going to this auction?
00:54:31Why, you ask, Charlie, if you know.
00:54:33Tell my dad I've seen you.
00:54:34He'll be pleased.
00:54:35Man, it's a big deal around with him in the old days.
00:54:37Sometimes as big as two pounds.
00:54:40Years since I saw him.
00:54:41What do you know?
00:54:43Last night, I come out of the trocadero.
00:54:45And who was in front of me?
00:54:46Your father.
00:54:47What, at the truck?
00:54:48Sure.
00:54:50Hey, come to think of it.
00:54:52It was your dad who put me onto the sale.
00:54:54Not that I hadn't heard of it, of course.
00:54:56But how would he know about it, anyway?
00:54:59He gets around.
00:55:00He gets around.
00:55:01You want a paper?
00:55:02What's in the papers?
00:55:04If I want to be depressed, I can let my wife nag me.
00:55:08Charlie boy.
00:55:09Me?
00:55:10I'm a break-up man.
00:55:11Best in the business.
00:55:12That's right, my boy.
00:55:14Sashas, cornices, mantles, turkey drapes.
00:55:17The bricks from the garden, I reckon.
00:55:20But you, you going into the break-up business?
00:55:23No, I'm in English pottery.
00:55:25Nice trade.
00:55:26You can get it.
00:55:30But everything comes to the break-up man, Charlie boy.
00:55:34Everything.
00:55:41There's a room in this house with a lot of Wedgwood, Mr. Wendell.
00:55:43You mean that paneled room?
00:55:45Oh, they tell me that's alpine.
00:55:46No faking, that's nice.
00:55:47Yeah, everybody wants paneling.
00:55:49It's like gold dust.
00:55:50Mr. Wendell, if you get the room, can I have the Wedgwood?
00:55:53Wedgwood you can have.
00:55:55Because of you, because of your father, and because I don't want it.
00:55:58Thanks, Mr. Wendell.
00:55:59Oh, do you know who's on the train?
00:56:00You want to tell me?
00:56:01Another old friend of the family.
00:56:03Abe Spada.
00:56:04What?
00:56:05Who dug up that old schlemiel?
00:56:07He thinks he can follow me.
00:56:08No, no.
00:56:09He should rob Dad.
00:56:10What is he?
00:56:11What?
00:56:12Nothing.
00:56:13Rubbish.
00:56:15You know who's on the train, Mr. Spada?
00:56:17Your wife makes a good chicken sandwich, Charlie.
00:56:19Old man Wendell.
00:56:20What?
00:56:21That old beadler?
00:56:22Is he around?
00:56:25Well, how's business if you got any?
00:56:27What would you know about business?
00:56:29Why don't you drop dead?
00:56:30After you.
00:56:31Dad, your father was a machine.
00:56:33Shut up, you lockjaw.
00:56:48Hello, Charlie.
00:56:49Oh, Armstrong.
00:56:50Come inside and meet some important friends of mine.
00:56:52Might be useful to you.
00:56:54Who, me?
00:56:57This is Mr. Mendel.
00:56:58Mr. Sweetie from the States.
00:56:59How do you do?
00:57:00And this is Mr...
00:57:01You know, Charlie, I can never think of your second name.
00:57:03I guess Charlie's okay by me.
00:57:04Get the first names first.
00:57:05That's our way.
00:57:06You fellas want to talk?
00:57:07Go ahead.
00:57:08I'll work out my itinerary.
00:57:10Sit down, Charlie.
00:57:11These guys are just toting me around.
00:57:13On their say-so, I buy for my new home.
00:57:15Go ahead.
00:57:16I just come for the ride.
00:57:18Could I ask a question?
00:57:19What can we lose?
00:57:20Cigarette?
00:57:21No, thanks, Dad.
00:57:23How did you find out about the Wedgwood?
00:57:26How do you know we're after that?
00:57:28I thought I was on my own.
00:57:30Oh, no.
00:57:31You got competition?
00:57:32Look, Charlie, we're going to cut your throat, but no hard feelings.
00:57:34I'm going to rip out those panels, pack them up and send them out to California.
00:57:38Mr. Sweetie's building a new home there.
00:57:40Period home, naturally.
00:57:43I can bid up to my limit, can't I?
00:57:45Then run the price up for us.
00:57:47Why throw money at an auctioneer?
00:57:49Will that help you?
00:57:51Oh, that's right.
00:57:52Now, look here, Charlie.
00:57:53We know you're a Wedgwood expert, and it's bad luck we came along.
00:57:57Now drop out of it, and there's a clear phony for you.
00:58:08It's nice to have met you gentlemen from the States.
00:58:12Twenty-five covers your expenses, doesn't it?
00:58:14Look, I've got to buy her for it.
00:58:15There's a lot of money I don't get if I back her.
00:58:17Oh, don't shoot the guy.
00:58:18He's breaking my heart.
00:58:21Fifty.
00:58:24Okay.
00:58:26I don't bid.
00:58:32Wedgwood expert, is he?
00:58:33Yes.
00:58:34Need a force to price up.
00:58:37Smart work.
00:58:54Oh.
00:59:13That mean old beadler Vendel.
00:59:14You see him get on a bus?
00:59:16He'd crawl in all fours before he'd hire a taxi.
00:59:19Hey, that's a grand house, Charlie.
00:59:21Grand.
00:59:22Beautiful.
00:59:23Yeah, beautiful is the word.
00:59:24It'll break up fine.
00:59:27Hey, Charlie.
00:59:29Did you have to walk or something?
00:59:31You see, Charlie?
00:59:32Land.
00:59:33Off the plateau.
00:59:34You know who bought it?
00:59:35Me.
00:59:37What's the matter?
00:59:38You had a cold?
00:59:49Got any change?
00:59:50Never keep any.
00:59:51I might have to use it.
00:59:52Traveling on the left side of the road gives me an acid stomach.
00:59:56I guess one's got to get acclimated.
01:00:02Hey, that's a dandy little porch.
01:00:03Put in a couple of rocking chairs, you might be in Vermont.
01:00:06Hi, Charlie.
01:00:07Where's the orchard?
01:00:08Hey, don't let him off the lead.
01:00:09We might lose him.
01:00:10Mr. Sweeney had to stay at home.
01:00:11I got to show her everything.
01:00:12Let's have a look at the Wedgwood room first, Mr. Sweeney.
01:00:16Hey, you guys are buying.
01:00:17Hey, you guys are buying for me.
01:00:18Buy this for my nanny.
01:00:22Vicki.
01:00:23Oh, excuse me.
01:00:27Next lot to be sold in the house.
01:00:29Numbers 235 to 255.
01:00:44Charlie.
01:00:45You know Abe Sparta.
01:00:47Now, tell me the truth, and I won't hold it against you.
01:00:50Does Abe Sparta want to buy that room?
01:00:53As a matter of fact, Mr. Wendell, he'd tell me he's crazy about it.
01:00:59Look, Charlie.
01:01:01I am one of your farthest, oldest friends, right?
01:01:03Right.
01:01:04Do something for me.
01:01:05Mr. Wendell, why wouldn't I?
01:01:08Charlie, I want that room, see?
01:01:11Sparta will only force the price up just to make me pay.
01:01:13He knows I'll pay.
01:01:15You bid for me.
01:01:16I can't bid against Sparta.
01:01:17Why not?
01:01:18He's my landlord.
01:01:19Oh.
01:01:21Terrible thing to be in the hands of a murderer.
01:01:24Look, Charlie.
01:01:25You bid, and there is something in it for you.
01:01:28Maybe as much as 2.5%.
01:01:32If I do it, I take 10.
01:01:34Charlie, you come from a good school.
01:01:37Make it 7.5.
01:01:3810.
01:01:40Good for you, Charlie.
01:01:42Let me think about it.
01:01:43Give me 15 minutes.
01:01:45Why do you have to think that takes 15 minutes?
01:01:47Take 10.
01:01:55Lovely room, Charlie.
01:01:56Ah, it's beautiful, beautiful.
01:01:58Sparta's mad about it.
01:02:01Babe Sparta?
01:02:02Yeah.
01:02:03He says he wants it badly.
01:02:05That's not so good.
01:02:06Sparta's a hard man to be.
01:02:07I just thought you ought to know.
01:02:08Yeah, hold on.
01:02:12Very nice of you, Charlie.
01:02:13You've been very nice to me.
01:02:15You know old man Wendell's in there.
01:02:17But he's strictly demolition.
01:02:18That's what I thought.
01:02:19He says he can use this room.
01:02:21And ship it, too.
01:02:22A lot of people seem to want it, but you're on a duck hunt.
01:02:24Oh, I'm out of it.
01:02:25It's all yours.
01:02:26And Sparta's.
01:02:27And Wendell's.
01:02:29I don't like it.
01:02:30Hey, fellas.
01:02:31What do you know about that?
01:02:32Two guys getting hot under the color over this Dutch statuary.
01:02:36Eight it is.
01:02:37Nine.
01:02:38Nine pounds I bid.
01:02:3912.
01:02:4012 I bid.
01:02:4115.
01:02:4215.
01:02:4315.
01:02:4415 pounds I bid.
01:02:45Any advance on 16?
01:02:4620.
01:02:4720.
01:02:4825.
01:02:4925.
01:02:5030.
01:02:5130.
01:02:5235.
01:02:5335.
01:02:54Now, come along, ladies and gentlemen.
01:02:55This statue has real value.
01:02:56She may have lost an arm, but the Venus de Milo has lost two.
01:03:00You see, they've been fighting all their lives.
01:03:02They're like two stags meeting.
01:03:03They fight because they're stags.
01:03:06Well, those turned the bidding for this room.
01:03:08I'm glad I'm out.
01:03:09Now, wait a minute.
01:03:10You know Sparta.
01:03:12He's an old friend of the family.
01:03:13You know Wendell?
01:03:14He's an even older friend.
01:03:16Can you fix something?
01:03:17You can't fix it with us two.
01:03:19Well, couldn't you fix it if we made it worth your while?
01:03:23Why don't you ring it with Wendell?
01:03:25The knockout?
01:03:26He wouldn't do it with me.
01:03:27But you're a friend of his.
01:03:28Of course he is.
01:03:29He's a friend of everybody.
01:03:30He's a friend.
01:03:31Why, he's my brother, Mr. Fix-a-lanterch alley.
01:03:33And does your brother get a cut out of the knockout?
01:03:35Ah, my poor brother.
01:03:36He's a robber like the rest of us.
01:03:38You're in on it, but I hate to see such a mean streak in a brother.
01:03:41Give me five minutes, and I'll try and fix it with Wendell.
01:03:45Look, fellas, let's get this straight.
01:03:47Fixing it, I understand.
01:03:48After all, what have I been doing all my life?
01:03:51But did I hear knockout?
01:03:52Look, no rough stuff.
01:03:54This is an island, and I don't swim so good.
01:03:56No, no, Mr. Sweeting.
01:03:58The knockout means that one dealer bids for us all.
01:04:01Going, going, going, gone.
01:04:04Sold to the gentleman on my left here.
01:04:06Alfred, get the gentleman's name.
01:04:12Hey.
01:04:17Oh.
01:04:18Mr. Wendell.
01:04:19Ah.
01:04:20Hey, what do you want with that?
01:04:22Nothing.
01:04:24But I made old baboon pay for it.
01:04:26Oh, Charlie, I'm getting old.
01:04:29Oh, look, about your pine panel room.
01:04:31You mean your regiment room.
01:04:32All right.
01:04:33Why don't you ring it with Armstrong?
01:04:35There's no point in your bidding against Armstrong and Sparta.
01:04:38Yeah, you're right.
01:04:40I'll ring it with Armstrong.
01:04:41But you'll have to bid for me.
01:04:43Why, don't you see?
01:04:44Abe Sparta won't bid high against you.
01:04:49You give me five minutes.
01:04:50It was 15 minutes.
01:04:51Now five minutes.
01:04:52What do you do with all that time?
01:04:57Mr. Sparta.
01:04:58Governor.
01:04:59Governor, give us a hand.
01:05:01What's the matter?
01:05:02This number's coming up for auction.
01:05:03Shoot a minute, sir.
01:05:04I've got it.
01:05:05I've got it.
01:05:06This number's coming up for auction.
01:05:07Shoot a minute inside.
01:05:15You'll have to get a block and tackle for that.
01:05:17We'll have to tell the auctioneer we can't move it.
01:05:19He'll have to sell it where it is.
01:05:20Thanks, Governor.
01:05:28Mr. Sparta.
01:05:32Mr. Sparta.
01:05:33Hey, that's a grand tree, Charlie.
01:05:35Grand.
01:05:36Yeah, it'll cut up fine.
01:05:37Oh, you've no soul, Charlie.
01:05:39That's what's the trouble with the world today.
01:05:41No soul.
01:05:43I was just talking to Mr. Wendell.
01:05:46Is he mad because I beat him to it?
01:05:47I hope so.
01:05:49He says he's not bidding for that Wedgwood room.
01:05:51Better not.
01:05:52He's not?
01:05:53So what's he want?
01:05:54I don't know.
01:05:55He said to look at lot 275.
01:05:58275.
01:05:59275's the sundial.
01:06:01Say, what's he up to?
01:06:03You have a look.
01:06:08He wasn't far out, that old beadler.
01:06:10You know what?
01:06:11It's lead.
01:06:12Lead, and it ain't even cataloged as lead.
01:06:13I knew you'd like it.
01:06:14You've done me a good turn, Charlie boy.
01:06:16I won't forget it.
01:06:17Well, Mr. Sparta, if you don't really want that paneled room, I...
01:06:20What would I want with a paneled room?
01:06:21You know how much lead goes to a ton?
01:06:23Very little.
01:06:24Well, you wouldn't object if I bid for the room.
01:06:26You go ahead and bid if you want to, Charlie boy.
01:06:28I'll keep out.
01:06:29Thanks, Mr. Sparta.
01:06:39Mind your back, sir.
01:06:47It's fixed.
01:06:48Abe's not bidding.
01:06:49He's not?
01:06:50Wendell's in the ring with us.
01:06:51No competition.
01:06:52Hey, smart work.
01:06:53I bid for all of us.
01:06:54I get that share in the knockout.
01:06:56Good boy.
01:06:57Sharp.
01:06:58Not too sharp, I hope.
01:06:59That's the clever part about him.
01:07:00Not too sharp.
01:07:04Morning.
01:07:05Morning, sir.
01:07:06I understand you to say that these wedges aren't genuine.
01:07:08That's right.
01:07:09Those are hollow.
01:07:10They should be solid.
01:07:11They should have a rough matte finish.
01:07:12They're smooth.
01:07:14They should have an impress mark, and they haven't.
01:07:16Those are French fakes.
01:07:17That's all junk.
01:07:19Oh.
01:07:20We'd get a good price for them, if you may.
01:07:22I'll bid up to what they're worth, junk.
01:07:24There's no high reserve, I hope, is there?
01:07:26No, no reserve.
01:07:27They're here to be sold.
01:07:28I just didn't want to be trotted.
01:07:30We don't do that sort of thing here, sir.
01:07:31Not in the country.
01:07:38Ringing it, are they?
01:07:39Yes, I reckon, sir.
01:07:40I'm ready for them.
01:07:41These London dealers think they know everything.
01:07:51This is lot 260 in your catalogue, ladies and gentlemen.
01:07:53Lot 260.
01:07:54And, in my humble opinion, the most important and the most attractive lot in the wholesale.
01:07:58It comprises the whole room.
01:07:59And, as you can see for yourselves, a very fine room.
01:08:02Look at those pine panels.
01:08:04You can't find them nowadays.
01:08:05And, above all, look at the wonderful wedgewood plaques.
01:08:08Look at the colour.
01:08:09Look at the workmanship of a great artist.
01:08:12It's a pity to break up a fine room like this, but it's here to be sold, and I'm here to sell it.
01:08:17Now, gentlemen, you know the value of things.
01:08:19In the whole country, you won't find another room like this.
01:08:22What shall I say?
01:08:23Five hundred pounds to start with.
01:08:24Five hundred.
01:08:26Fifty.
01:08:28I beg your pardon, sir?
01:08:31Fifty.
01:08:33That's all right, sir. That's all right.
01:08:34A joke's a joke.
01:08:35Now, come on. Let's have our laugh and be done with it.
01:08:38Now, a serious bid from someone.
01:08:39For the whole room, mind you.
01:08:41Pine panels, plaques and all.
01:08:44All right, then. Just to start off with, I'll take the bid.
01:08:46Fifty pounds.
01:08:47Now, fifties.
01:08:50All right, then. Tens.
01:08:51Sixty.
01:08:52Sixty pounds, I bid.
01:08:53Seventy.
01:08:54Seventy, I bid.
01:08:55Eighty.
01:08:56Eighty. Eighty pounds, I bid.
01:08:57Hundred.
01:08:58Ah, that's better now.
01:08:59We're moving not very much, but in the right direction.
01:09:01A hundred pounds, I bid on my left here.
01:09:03One hundred it is.
01:09:04Now, come along. Can I take fifties?
01:09:06Come along. Come along for the last time, gentlemen.
01:09:08For the last time.
01:09:09One hundred and fifty pounds.
01:09:11The bidding is on my right hand.
01:09:12It's against you, sir, at one fifty.
01:09:15Now, come along, gentlemen.
01:09:16Come along. This won't get us anywhere.
01:09:19Two hundred.
01:09:20Two hundred, I bid.
01:09:21Two hundred on the left here.
01:09:22Two hundred it is.
01:09:23Not enough for a fine room like this.
01:09:24The panels alone are worth the money.
01:09:25Two hundred.
01:09:26I'm here to sell. It'll go.
01:09:28For the last time, gentlemen.
01:09:29For the last time.
01:09:31Two fifty. Two fifty.
01:09:32Two fifty, I bid.
01:09:33The bid's on my right hand.
01:09:34It's two fifty.
01:09:35Any advance on two fifty?
01:09:36Can I say three hundred?
01:09:38Two fifty is all I bid,
01:09:39and the bid lies against you, sir.
01:09:42Two fifty, I bid.
01:09:43Two fifty and all.
01:09:44Nothing like value for a room like this.
01:09:46It's two fifty, and I shall have to sell...
01:09:50Three hundred.
01:09:51Ah, there speaks an expert.
01:09:53He knows the value of which wood.
01:09:55Three hundred it is.
01:09:56Three hundred, I bid.
01:09:57We're warming up.
01:09:58Any advance on three hundred?
01:10:00Three fifty.
01:10:01Three fifty, I bid.
01:10:02Can I take it in hundreds?
01:10:03We're all busy people.
01:10:04We've got a lot to get through.
01:10:06The bidding is on my right,
01:10:07and it's against you, sir.
01:10:08Three fifty is all at the moment.
01:10:11Four hundred.
01:10:12Four hundred from the gentleman on my left here.
01:10:14Four hundred it is.
01:10:15Now, come along.
01:10:16Come along.
01:10:17We're here to sell.
01:10:18Any advance on four hundred?
01:10:20Another fifty pounds might buy it.
01:10:22Very well.
01:10:23Four hundred, I bid.
01:10:24Four hundred, I bid.
01:10:25For the last time, gentlemen.
01:10:26For the last time.
01:10:28It's going.
01:10:30I shall have to sell.
01:10:31Going.
01:10:32Going.
01:10:33Going.
01:10:34Gone.
01:10:35Sold to the gentleman on my left here.
01:10:37Went to an expert,
01:10:38if ever I saw one.
01:10:40Next lot will be held outside.
01:10:43Sundance.
01:10:44Number 275.
01:10:46On the lawn at the back, if you please.
01:10:52Glad you got what you wanted, sir.
01:10:54Must be a lot of money in junk these days.
01:10:57Hey, what's that dame want to buy in for?
01:10:59That's what I want to know.
01:11:01Come over here and let's auction it ourselves.
01:11:03Soon we shall die of old age waiting to settle something.
01:11:07So Charlie bought for four hundred, eh?
01:11:09I bid fifty above it.
01:11:11Sixty.
01:11:12Seventy.
01:11:13What do you want with Wedgwood?
01:11:14A hundred.
01:11:15What would I want with Wedgwood, I will show you.
01:11:16Two hundred.
01:11:17Two fifty.
01:11:18If you want it, you can bet a three hundred.
01:11:20Three fifty.
01:11:21Four will see you out.
01:11:23Four fifty.
01:11:26Now, what would I want with a room like this?
01:11:30You can have it and good luck to you.
01:11:32Four fifty, split four ways.
01:11:33Pay you in town?
01:11:34Your what?
01:11:35Cash.
01:11:36Don't you dealers trust each other?
01:11:37Like brothers we do.
01:11:39With cash.
01:11:40I pay cash, you pay cash.
01:11:43Charlie, get a move on.
01:11:45Go to the clerk, transfer lot two sixty to these gentlemen.
01:11:48I'll count the cash.
01:11:58Transfer to Armstrong.
01:12:00Run you up a bit, didn't he?
01:12:01He was trotted.
01:12:02Oh, don't tell me.
01:12:03If he was young, he wouldn't have paid that for it.
01:12:05Doesn't do for you London dealers to get it all your own way, you know.
01:12:16So you made a class, Charlie boy, eh?
01:12:18Did I give you a lesson how to handle assassins?
01:12:20Go where you like, Charlie.
01:12:22Always there are assassins.
01:12:24Remember me to your father.
01:12:25Yeah.
01:12:29A little bit of ground soup for the bird, Charlie boy.
01:12:31Boy, you did me a good turn.
01:12:33That sundial, solid lead.
01:12:35Oh, you tell your wife she can put her big time in my shed.
01:12:38Bye.
01:12:46Come on, Charlie.
01:12:47Where are you off to?
01:12:48I've got some unfinished business, Mr. Sweeney.
01:12:50I'll walk with you.
01:12:56So they bought it from me, eh?
01:12:58Yeah, that's another thing you could pack up and ship out of the country.
01:13:00Soon there won't be a decent antique left.
01:13:02You've got it all wrong, Charlie.
01:13:04What's it matter who buys a work of art?
01:13:06Or what country it goes to?
01:13:08It's the people who created that matter.
01:13:10Right?
01:13:11Anyway, that stuff ain't about me.
01:13:12It's fake, isn't it?
01:13:14Know who told me?
01:13:16You.
01:13:17Know when?
01:13:19In the train, the way you let them buy you out.
01:13:23We may be brash, Charlie, but we're not all fools.
01:13:26All my life I've been buying from Charlies like you.
01:13:28They all get a living out of me.
01:13:30But who's got the millions today?
01:13:32Me.
01:13:33Not the Charlies.
01:13:35Buy and sell.
01:13:36That's all you do.
01:13:37I'm on my way to buy something I'll never sell.
01:13:39Yeah?
01:13:40Now ask me again.
01:13:41Yeah?
01:13:42Now ask me to make you an offer for it.
01:13:43No offers, Mr. Sweetie.
01:13:44No?
01:13:45Look.
01:13:47All my life I've been going somewhere.
01:13:49Up from the market into the antique business.
01:13:51East end, west end.
01:13:52Buy and sell for a profit.
01:13:54But always moving nearer to something I've wanted all my life.
01:13:56And now I've found it.
01:13:58It's a vase.
01:14:00What's so special about a vase?
01:14:03It's green.
01:14:05And yet it has all the other colours of the world in it.
01:14:11It's a sort of lost city, Mr. Sweetie.
01:14:14It's Atlantis.
01:14:16And I found it, so no offers, eh?
01:14:18I'll give you ten times what you pay for it.
01:14:20Well?
01:14:21On a level?
01:14:22On a level.
01:14:24A dealer looking for the holy grail or whatever you call it.
01:14:27That's great.
01:14:29Mr. Sweetie will certainly want to hear all about that.
01:14:32Well, goodbye.
01:14:36And good luck.
01:14:37Thanks.
01:14:41Thanks.
01:15:01Thief! Robber!
01:15:02What are you doing messing about with my property,
01:15:03leaving it on the edge of the sink like that?
01:15:05I was only cleaning it.
01:15:06I told you not to touch it.
01:15:07Don't be silly.
01:15:09How could I clean it if I didn't touch it?
01:15:10Don't come near it.
01:15:11Oh, you're pale. You're trembling.
01:15:13I'm always like this when I'm parting with dough.
01:15:15Look, leave the vase alone.
01:15:16Don't touch it.
01:15:17Do I make myself clear?
01:15:21I've got an awful shock for you.
01:15:22Yes?
01:15:23That coat.
01:15:24It's more than I thought.
01:15:25It's beautiful.
01:15:26I couldn't let it go, but...
01:15:28But it's a hundred and fifty.
01:15:29You said a hundred.
01:15:30Well, that was yesterday.
01:15:31You gave me your word.
01:15:32I don't see why I should keep my word.
01:15:33It's not as if you were a friend of mine.
01:15:35That's a mean thing for a nice girl to say, isn't it?
01:15:36I don't want to be nice.
01:15:37I want to be rich.
01:15:38Well, I'm sorry you can't have the hundred and fifty.
01:15:39I'm sorry you can't have the vase.
01:15:42Nicky, you can't work the price up after the sale.
01:15:46You and your dealers did at the auction.
01:15:48How do you know about that?
01:15:50I know an auctioneer.
01:15:52Come to think of it, that wasn't very nice of you to bid against me at the auction, was it?
01:15:55I got five pounds for it. That's a reason.
01:15:56Five pounds for trotting it up to four hundred? That's immoral.
01:15:58So is ringing it.
01:16:00What do you know about ringing it?
01:16:02I told you, I know an auctioneer.
01:16:03A nice auctioneer.
01:16:06Nicky, I'd love you to have it.
01:16:08You'd look a dream, but I don't have enough.
01:16:10You do.
01:16:12I saw lots more in your wallet.
01:16:14So what? I've got a family. I've got wife and kids to keep.
01:16:17Oh.
01:16:19Go a little mad.
01:16:21I'm young. I need things.
01:16:23My wife needs things too.
01:16:24Not fur coats, Charlie.
01:16:25Why not?
01:16:26Well, wives can always wait.
01:16:28That's a pretty terrible thing to say.
01:16:30Awful, but it's true.
01:16:32After all, she's got a husband. I'm still working at it.
01:16:34Oh, and it's only fifty pounds over.
01:16:35Oh, I'm sorry. I made a promise and I've got to keep it.
01:16:37If I give you the hundred and fifty, I can't.
01:16:39You don't mean that.
01:16:40I do. I'm sorry.
01:16:41All right, Mr. Clever Dealer.
01:16:42Bars or coat, make up your mind.
01:16:44Look, I'm a redhead.
01:16:45I get angry. When I get angry, I break things.
01:16:47You don't even have to get angry.
01:16:49And if I don't get that a hundred and fifty,
01:16:51I might just as well smash the thing.
01:16:52No, don't. Don't smash it.
01:16:54Nicky, I'd love to give it to you, but I can't.
01:16:57I haven't enough money. I can't.
01:16:59Now, come on.
01:17:01Be a man.
01:17:02I can't.
01:17:04Now, come on.
01:17:05Be a sport.
01:17:06I won't be a sport.
01:17:07Not with my own money.
01:17:12Keep your bargain or else.
01:17:13Or else what?
01:17:14I walk into that room and I get it for nothing.
01:17:16Then I'll smash it and you too.
01:17:17Be careful.
01:17:18I'm no gentleman. I hit back.
01:17:21You do?
01:17:22I do.
01:17:23Oh.
01:17:24Now, come on. You and I'll see the gay ninety together.
01:17:26No. I'll tell him you stole it.
01:17:28Ah, that'll give him a big laugh.
01:17:29Come on.
01:17:33He's asleep.
01:17:34Is he?
01:17:35You can't wake him.
01:17:36Can't I?
01:17:37Yes, that's one of the Rockingham pair.
01:17:39I always understood it was stolen
01:17:41from a famous collection in 1886.
01:17:43Oh, you're awake, Sir John.
01:17:45I'm glad.
01:17:46Oh, I wish you could hit him.
01:17:48You've had a big Wedgwood collection once,
01:17:50didn't you, Sir John?
01:17:51Do you know those plaques in your mansions are fakes?
01:17:53Oh, you do.
01:17:54I bet you gave the dealers hell.
01:17:56You did. That's good.
01:17:57I'll call the gardener. Have him thrown out.
01:17:59Another thing which one might say
01:18:00left a famous collection.
01:18:02This.
01:18:03Oh.
01:18:04Yes.
01:18:06The one and only Green Portland vase.
01:18:08Oh.
01:18:10I was wondering if you'd let me have it.
01:18:12You.
01:18:14He's asking who you are, your name.
01:18:16Now, don't get upset, Grandfather.
01:18:18He's only a dealer. His name's Charlie.
01:18:19Oh, I don't know your name.
01:18:21Don't mind about my name.
01:18:22I'll mention a name that Sir John will remember.
01:18:24The name is Draeger.
01:18:25Another collector.
01:18:26I'll call the gardener. I'll call the police.
01:18:27Oh, I don't think we want the police.
01:18:28Do you, Sir John?
01:18:34They say you've been a very wicked old man.
01:18:38But there's one thing.
01:18:39You always appreciated this, didn't you?
01:18:41Oh.
01:18:42Well, I want it, Sir John.
01:18:44Just as you wanted it.
01:18:45No more, no less.
01:18:46Just to look at.
01:18:47I can't sell it, you know that.
01:18:49Lord Draeger's dead and there's no heir.
01:18:52But I want it.
01:18:53Just as you did.
01:18:54After all, you have a reputation of never having done a good deed in a very long life.
01:18:58Don't leave it too late.
01:19:01I'm asking you to pass this on to me.
01:19:04To keep and to enjoy.
01:19:46Aha! You got it for nothing.
01:19:48I was only trying my best.
01:19:49You certainly were.
01:19:50The girl's got to look after us.
01:19:51If she doesn't, who will?
01:19:53I shouldn't worry.
01:19:55There must be lots of people waiting.
01:19:57Do you think so?
01:19:59That's the first nice thing you've said.
01:20:01In my business, it doesn't pay to be nice.
01:20:03If you're nice, what happens?
01:20:05The price goes up.
01:20:06Here, sign that.
01:20:08Well, read it.
01:20:09It's a receipt.
01:20:11A hundred pounds?
01:20:16Yes.
01:20:17I'm just a man.
01:20:18I keep my bargains.
01:20:25May I really have them?
01:20:27You know, you're wasted on those, they're deadly.
01:20:30Goodbye.
01:20:31Thanks.
01:20:32Thanks me?
01:20:33For what?
01:20:34Well, for having such nice red hair and beautiful green portlets.
01:20:37Oh!
01:20:39Hey, Nicky.
01:20:41Hey!
01:20:43You forgot this.
01:20:44Catch!
01:20:45Ah!
01:21:10Charlie?
01:21:24Bella.
01:21:41Do you like it?
01:21:43Yes.
01:21:45How did you get it?
01:21:46I sold the sideboard.
01:21:47What's your mark?
01:21:53Look, turn around, let's have a coffee.
01:21:56Stand like that.
01:22:10Charlie?
01:22:11How did you get it?
01:22:12Dealership.
01:22:17Oh, thank you.
01:22:21I've been waiting up for you for hours.
01:22:27Don't stay up too late.
01:22:29No.
01:22:30I'll only be a minute or two.
01:22:33I'm sorry.
01:22:35I'm sorry.
01:22:37I'm sorry.
01:22:38Give me a minute or two.
01:22:44It's wonderful.
01:22:48So wonderful, I think I shall sleep in it.
01:23:08Charlie?
01:23:38Charlie?
01:24:08Ah!
01:24:38Ah!